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by Leona Keyoko Pink

  I went, pretending he wasn’t there watching me. This was the first time I’d ever gone to the bathroom in front of a man. I felt violated and knew I was going to have to get used to it. There were no boundaries, no limits with Lynn.

  When I was finished I opened my eyes. I half-expected him to be staring at me like the warped pervert he was but he was standing in front of the sink putting eye drops in his eyes. I hadn’t realized how bloodshot they were. He combed his hair. When he was finished and then took some medication. It looked like anti-sleeping pills. How long had he been up?

  He turned when he noticed I was staring at him. He smiled and raised an eyebrow teasing, “Do you need me to wipe?”

  I looked away from him and quickly cleaned myself. When I was done he came back over and helped me into the chair once more. When we came out of the bathroom a waitress noticed us. She looked at him and then me and seemed to think it was okay we’d been in the bathroom together.

  She asked if we needed anything. Lynn was as charming as ever. He had her show us to a table out of the way. He then ordered our food without even looking at the menu. He must have been here before. He got himself a burger and fries, ordering me pancakes and a milk. When the waitress walked away he leaned into me, sitting next to my wheelchair. He grasped my right hand as it sat in my lap and said, “That’s your favorite, isn’t it? Pancakes?”

  I said nothing. Just because I had to comply didn’t mean I needed to be courteous. He continued to hold my right wrist and put something on it. When he let me have it back I looked to see the bracelet I’d admired at the jewelry store. He must have gone back for it...or gotten it when I wasn’t looking.

  “The dress and this...are just the first of many gifts,” he said. “I want to cherish you.”

  “Do you?” I said, looking at him. I’d been so afraid to lock eyes with him in the past. The intensity of his eyes would make me cry. I’d already cried so much. What were a few more tears if I could get my point across? “Then let me go,”

  “No,” he said. looking at me intently, “You’re mine,”

  “Why...why am I yours?” I said.

  He kissed me then and I pulled away. I felt sad...suffocated. I knew it was too late...That he had me now and he’d never let me go. But how, how did I know this? Wasn’t I just assuming? No...just as I felt it the first time I saw him and knew I didn’t like him, I knew he would never let me escape.

  He breathed me in….kissing my cheek lightly. He began to trail kisses down my neck as I just sat there. I felt he wanted to consume me...right then and there. I saw his hands tremble as he struggled to maintain control. He groaned after a second and pulled away from me.

  He moved to the other side of the table. I was happy to get some distance between us but when I looked at him I could see the darkness in his eyes...barely kept at bay…What was going to happen when it released? What was he going to do to me?

  We sat apart in silence until the food arrived. It smelt really good and tasted even better. I didn’t think I’d be able to eat but soon enough found myself scarfing it down. Lynn took a few bites of his burger and then stopped, watching me. “Slow down, you’re gonna make yourself sick,”

  I didn’t listen to him. He reached across the table, nearly getting up. He took my fork away and I hissed, “Don’t touch me. You make me sick,”

  He looked at me and I could see he was agitated. I swallowed, knowing I needed to not piss him off. “I’m sorry...I just...I guess I’m really hungry,”

  “That’s okay,” he said returning my fork to me, “Just eat slower. We’re not in a hurry,”

  But we were, “He’s only seven,” I reminded him.

  “I know that,” he said, “And he’ll always be seven if you don’t behave,”

  I put my fork down, not wanting to eat at all now. He took a few more bites of his burger and had some fries. When he noticed I wasn’t eating he rolled his eyes, “Don’t make me have to tell you how to do everything. Eat your food, eat it slow, stop messing around,” When made no intention to move he put his hand on his phone.

  I picked up my fork and slowly picked at my food, eating it every so often. He finished before me and then watched me eat. When he was satisfied with how much I had eaten he teased, “How about dessert?”

  I just glared at him, “Fine, fine,” he chuckled, “I’ll get it to go. The pie here is just to die for.” He bought two large pies and had them sit on my lap. As he wheeled me to the car I considered throwing them to the ground and claiming they slipped. When I started to push them he held my shoulder, “You have a short memory span, don’t you? Let’s only hope that Tam doesn’t.”

  I held the pies more carefully. He put them in the backseat when we got to the car. As he was putting me back in the front seat I began to feel slightly sick. He put the wheelchair back in the trunk and got in the car. We drove for about ten minutes before I got really sick. I tapped the window wanting him to roll it down but instead he pulled over. I opened the door and leaned out, throwing up on the side of the road.

  When I was finished I shut the door. He pulled back onto the highway and just shook his head, “I told you to eat slow. This stuff can sometimes have a reaction.”

  I didn’t know what he’d given me, how long it lasted, everything that it did. This was his fault. All of this was his fucking fault. I wanted to yell at him but knew I couldn’t. He reached in the back and got me a bottle of water. I drank nearly half of it before resting back in the chair. I felt tired even though I’d only been up for a few hours. He reached back again, pulling out a blanket. He handed it to me and I wrapped myself in it.

  “You’ll feel better soon,” he said. “I got some food if you get hungry again,”

  I moaned, closing my eyes, and he just laughed, “Okay, okay,”

  I laid there for a while as we drove. The classical music softly lulled me to sleep.

  **********

  When I woke up it was day again, early morning to be exact. The car was on a ferry. He wasn’t with me. I struggled to move and found I could do it a lot better. I opened the car door and stumbled out. I was afraid I might not be able to walk but found I could feel my feet again.

  I moved stiffly out onto the main deck. There were a lot of benches. People were sitting and looking out at the water that surrounded us. Before I could think to go to them I saw him. He saw me and quickly rushed over to me. He had two cups and a bag of something in his mouth. He walked up to me and motioned for me to follow.

  We went to one of the benches and sat down. He took the bag out of his mouth and smiled at me, “I was beginning to think you’d sleep through the whole trip,”

  He opened the bag and offered me a doughnut that was inside. I was wary to eat it but took small bites. I shivered when the wind picked up and he took off his jacket. He wrapped it around me and then held me. Anyone walking by might have thought we were just a young couple. The thought almost made me sick again. I continued to eat as he sipped something out of one of the cups.

  When he noticed my interest he offered me the other one. I took it drinking it. To my delight it was hot cocoa. I drank it and after a second he pulled it away, “Not so fast. You’ll burn your tongue,”

  I let him take it away. I nibbled at my doughnut some more and he put his hand on my knee. I flinched and he chuckled, “Relax...”

  “How much longer?” I asked trying to ignore his touch.

  “Not much,” he said, stretching out on the bench.

  “You said we were almost halfway yesterday and it’s been a while since then,”

  He sighed, “The boat’s gonna take us to an island. There’s a cluster of small towns. We’re gonna do some shopping, then drive a ways. There will be some woods. It’s a bit of a hike to the cabin but not too much. We should be there by this evening,”

  “By this evening.” It felt so far away. “How is that halfway...?” and then it occurred to me I didn’t know how many days had passed since we’d left. I assumed a day or s
o but I couldn’t be sure, “What day is it? I asked, trying to recall what day I’d been at Julia’s.

  He rubbed his hand up and down my knee making my skin crawl. “Hours, days, weeks don’t matter when you’re with the one you love.” He smiled, “Speaking of which, tell me you love me,”

  “I love you,” I said through gritted teeth. He let out a soft moan before he said, “I love you too,”

  He leaned in and I pulled back. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled me in. I thought he was going to force me to kiss him but he whispered in my ear, “You know, I could do...small things to him if these slights keep adding up,”

  I swallowed and kissed him. He put his tongue in my mouth. It was a long, passionate kiss, at least on his end. On mine there was nothing but boiling rage. Perhaps, I thought, when all this was said and done and I knew my brother was safe I’d kill him.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The boat arrived just before noon. I was eager for us to get going. I hoped we might get to the cabin sooner than he thought. When we got off the boat he kept to his schedule. We went shopping. I was worried it might take a while but he was fast and efficient, the complete opposite of Julia.

  Each store we went into he seemed to know what he wanted. We stocked up on food and various camping gear. He got me a coat and some hiking boots. We even picked out a fishing rod for me. I didn’t think I’d need it. I wasn’t planning on staying long enough to fish. Once Tam was free I planned to fight with everything I had to get myself free.

  Altogether, shopping took a little over an hour and then we were on the road again. I tried to keep track of the route we took, knowing I would have to take it again when I escaped. The road was winding and there was deep, thick forest all around us. After a while everything began to look the same.

  I started to get worried as it hit me. I was going to be alone in the middle of nowhere with this manic. What if...just what if after I knew Tam was free I couldn’t escape? I didn’t know what Lynn’s plans were beyond taking me to this cabin.

  I bit my lower lip unsure if I should ask, if it was better not to know. I closed my eyes and thought it was probably better to know. At least if I had an idea of what he was planning I might be able to do something about it.

  Quietly I asked, “Are...are you going to kill me?”

  “What’s that?” Lynn asked not hearing me.

  I raised my voice and tried to keep it steady, “Are you going to kill me?”

  He snorted as if the idea were ridiculous. Then he sighed, shaking his head, “You think I’d go through all this just to kill you? You’re not very bright, are you?” He seemed disappointed.

  I opened my eyes and continued, “Are you going to rape me?” It was the next worst thing on my list. There was a long moment of silence as we came round another bend in the road.

  I began to think he wasn’t going to answer me but eventually he sighed. “That depends on you,”

  At the back of my mind I’d known it was a possibility. I knew he wanted me. He’d gone to great lengths to get me. He didn’t just want to hang out and talk. He wanted me to submit. I shook and I knew I needed to be strong but I began to cry.

  He sighed, annoyed. He turned up the classical music to drown me out. I looked at him through blurry eyes. Didn’t he have a conscience? Was there no empathy in him? How could he do this to another person?

  We drove for some time. After a bit I stopped crying and wiped my tears. I focused on my surroundings once again, trying to find any landmarks, anything that might help me. Even if my chances of escape were slim I couldn’t give up. I couldn’t lose hope just yet.

  At one point there was an orange sign on the side of the main road. Lynn turned just before it onto a secondary road. It was bumpy and unpaved. There were places where it was almost overgrown. Clearly it wasn’t traveled often.

  Eventually it ended in a small clearing. There was a large old shed and I wondered if this was the cabin he’d been talking about, but it couldn’t be. He’d said something about a hike. He stopped just before the shed and turned the car off. I went to get out but he told me to wait.

  He took his keys from the ignition and got out. He went up to the shed and unlocked a chain that was around two large doors at the front of the shed. He opened them and came back. He got in the car and drove into the shed, parking. It was dark inside and I realized this must have been where he kept his car.

  I bit my lip, wondering what we were going to do next. He didn’t give me any commands. He just got out and started removing stuff from the car. I got out as well. I expected him to yell at me but he didn’t. He seemed focus on making packs.

  I walked around a bit, and knew I was getting too far away when he’d glance up at me. I stepped closer again and he’d go back to what he was doing. I took in everything I could again, wanting to memorize it. I saw a winding path off to the side of the shed. I assumed it led to the cabin. I wondered how much farther it was.

  I really didn’t want to go up there with him. It would be more convenient for me if he set Tam free here. That way, if I fought him off I could get the car and would know how to get to the main road. I rubbed my chin, wondering if I could convince him.

  I walked up to him as he was packing away some cans of food. I could see he was trying to pack as much as he could. He was no doubt planning to stay at the cabin for a while. I fought back a twinge of panic and put my hand on his shoulder.

  He paused looking at it and then me curiously, “Okay,” I said, “We’re here in the middle of nowhere. You can make the call now. You can let Tam go.”

  He smiled at me and then kissed my hand. It was a struggle not to pull it away. He turned back to his pack and I hoped he’d pull out his phone but he just kept filling it, “Just a little bit longer, Bec,”

  I took my hand off his shoulder and got stern, “CALL! I have done as you asked, now CALL!”

  He just chuckled. I pushed him. He’d been crouching over the pack and I had caught him off guard. He fell to the side and looked at me annoyed. I refused to back down, “It’s been two days. He’s just a little boy,”

  His annoyed expression turned to a smile, “Two days? Do you think that’s how long it’s been?”

  He had to be messing with me. “CALL,”

  “NO,” he said flatly before getting on his knees. He went back to packing again.

  I considered pushing him again but knew he meant it. I didn’t want to back down but we were so close. I didn’t want to make the last few days count for nothing. I paced back and forth, waiting for him to finish. He made me try on a pack a few times to see what I could carry. He went into the shed a few times, getting things he already had.

  When it was time to go he had me carrying a pack of things and a small duffel bag. He had a large pack on and carried an even larger duffel bag. I wondered what he all had. He went into the shed one last time and came out with a rifle. My heart sunk when I saw it. Part of me thought I’d only have to go up against a knife if I fought him.

  As he locked the shed back up I told myself it was okay. I could use the gun to my advantage. If I ever got the chance I was gonna blow him away. He whistled to me and I realized I’d zoned out. I followed him onto the path I’d seen earlier.

  I’d been on a few hikes when I was a kid but none of them had prepared me. He wasn’t lying when he said it was a bit of a hike. We’d left maybe mid afternoon and still hadn’t arrived by late afternoon. I had to rest every so often and thankfully he allowed me.

  I always thought I was pretty fit, but I’d mostly been sitting the last few days and the extra weight was almost too much. After a while it really added up. I was hoping he’d offer to take my bag and let me hold his rifle but I doubted he would.

  When I finally saw the cabin in the distance I was overjoyed and called out like an idiot, “Look, there it is!”

  “Yep,” he said, “Right where I left it,”

  I was too tired to be salty. I’d save it for when I was kicking his as
s. I wanted to break into a run to get there faster but my body wouldn’t let me. He slowed to keep pace with me. We walked right up to the door and I put my bag down. It was a struggle to get my pack off but I took that off too. I wanted to be as loose and free as I could.

  I started to do stretches as he set down his bag and pack. He also set down his rifle. I stopped stretching and stared as he leaned it up against the wall of the cabin. I quickly looked away and went back to stretching, pretending I didn’t notice. But I was making a plan. I felt oddly pumped in that moment.

  “Okay,” I said “We’re here,”

  “Let me unlock the door,” he teased.

  “No Lyndon,” I said, grasping his arm. “Make the call. You promised when we got to the cabin, not inside it,”

  He looked at me and just took me in for a moment. Then he reached out, brushing my cheek with his fingers, “I like when you say my name,”

  “Please, make the call now, Lynn,” I said.

  “Okay, okay,” he chuckled.

  He started to walk away from the cabin and I yanked on his arm. “Where are you going?”

  “Didn’t you want me to make the call,”

  “I do,”

  “Well, come with me,” he said and moved to hold my hand.

  I pulled my hand free of his. “Lynn,”

  “I can’t get a signal from here,” he said, “We need to go over there. It’s the best spot with the least interference.”

  He pointed a few feet away to a small hill. I bit my lip not wanting to leave the gun but nodded. I’d just have to make it back here before him. I started to walk and he reached out, grabbing my hand again. I pulled free from his grasp again and he stopped moving. I turned looking at him.

  “Hold my hand until we get there...it’s my last request,”

  “Fine,” I said. I took his hand and pulled him alone. I could bear a few more seconds of this.

  When we got to the spot he’d pointed at I let go of his hand. Lynn looked around and spread his arms. He took a deep breath of fresh air, “Would you take a look at this view? It’s one of my favorite things about this place.