Remember Love

by Jessica Nelson

  "I have to. I’ll be back, Katrina."

  Was she doing the right thing now? Suddenly, she realized he hadn’t said anything about love earlier. Her stomach felt like it hit the floor. Her pulse picked up. Hooking her arms over her chest, she stood near the wall beside the door, scared.

  His hand found the door knob.

  Tongue frozen, she made a move forward, then stopped. She swallowed. "When will you be back from New York?"

  "New York?" Confusion shadowed his face for a moment, then was replaced with amusement. "Ahh, Kitty, I meant I’m going to the hotel to finalize a few contracts." He reached out and smoothed her hair behind her ear. "I’m glad you’re going to trust me. Try not to look miserable about it."

  He leaned down, his lips closing over hers, his hands pressing into her back, drawing her close until heat and longing pulsed through her. The kiss deepened and she lost track of time, of anything but the feel of him against her, all fire and strength and possession.

  If she'd had doubts of his love, she didn't now. Not with her head swirling beneath the heady rush of his kiss. Not with her heart pressed against his, their lips fused and her thinking incoherent beneath the onslaught of passion.

  When he reluctantly drew away, her lips were tingling and her knees unsteady. Body throbbing, she met his gaze. A crooked smile tilted his lips.

  He cupped her cheeks. "You are so very beautiful. Try not to worry, okay?"

  With one last, soft kiss against her tender lips, he turned and left. Katrina closed the door, hand against her stomach. His kiss had robbed her of thought, but now her worries rushed back to taunt her.

  She didn't want to be miserable-looking. If Alec would say he loved her then she could believe she was doing the right thing. But maybe that was asking too much?

  God had turned her heart from bitterness and brought her to a place of rest where Joey was concerned. He gave her peace in the loss of her store. And now, surely God was calling her to a higher place, a place of unconditional love. And part of that meant trusting the man who’d left her years ago.

  Marriage was such a huge thing, a precious promise of forever love. Could she forge that kind of bond with a man who couldn’t say three little words?

  Her gaze fell upon a picture of Joey when he was two. His lips curled into a smile, his eyes twinkled, and a dark lock of hair fell over his eye. Just like his father’s.

  He’d been a late talker. She used to worry about it. Her mother would shush her and tell her to be patient, that he was just waiting until he could say things right. Sure enough, halfway through the twos he started talking clear as a bell. Before he reached three, he turned to her one day and said, "I love you."

  But he’d loved her long before he could form the words on untried lips.

  And so it would be with Alec. His actions showed love. She could wait for him to find the words to say what he showed so easily.

  *****

  "You what?" Rachel threw her hands in the air and stomped across Katrina’s living room. The windows were open and a twilight breeze fluttered softly through the room.

  "Keep it down." Katrina glanced out the window. "Yes, I’m going to marry him. It’s nothing worth screaming about."

  Rachel came back to the couch and plunked down beside her. "I ignored my instincts and decided to wait to tell you something, and now look what’s happened."

  "I never stopped loving him. You don’t like him. I get it. But that’s not going to stop me."

  "I’m not trying to stop you. He’s sneaky." Rachel plunged forward, elbows on knees. "Katrina, listen. He came to Manatee Bay for a reason and it wasn’t to see you again."

  "We had a reunion."

  "You don’t believe that."

  No, she didn’t, and she wished Rachel didn’t know her so well. She wet her lips. This scene was so similar to the one ten years ago. Rachel freaking out and babbling that Alec had kissed Maggie.

  Please Lord, don’t let it be like that again. She wiggled her shoulders and sank farther into the couch, willing the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach to go away.

  "Why did he come back?" she asked, voice low.

  Rachel’s eyes widened and her face rounded like a puffer fish. Then she seemed to deflate and she grabbed Katrina’s hands. "We should close the windows. Your hands are cold."

  "Just say it."

  "I spoke with his secretary. He bought your store."

  "I sold him a part of it."

  "I know." Rachel rolled her eyes. "I mean the building. He owns the building that you lease Kat’s Korner out of."

  Katrina carefully kept the shock from her face. Tingles raced through her fingertips. "And that’s why he came home?"

  "Probably. She said he’s planning on using this "prime property" to open a coffee place. Like a Starbucks or something."

  Katrina glanced out the window near the couch. Jake and Sam from down the street rode their bikes in zigzags across the road. She wanted to shout stop, get on the sidewalk. But her neighborhood was quiet and safe. They would be fine.

  Would she? She’d felt secure in her life until Alec came home. Things hadn’t been calm since. What else was he hiding from her? Why would he ask for ownership of Kat’s Korner if he’d already purchased the building?

  She turned back to Rachel. "Thanks for telling me."

  "Are you mad?"

  "No."

  "You’re lying."

  Katrina did her own eye roll. "Rachel, he owns the building. What does that have to do with us getting married?"

  "He lied to you." Rachel sat stiffly, jaw set.

  Katrina sighed. She knew that look of bulldog stubbornness. The thing was, Rachel had no case. Even with the shock still sharp, Katrina could see that. "He never lied to me."

  "Doesn’t it bother you that he never said a word?"

  "Rachel, it’s his business."

  "But you’re getting married! That makes it your business."

  Katrina could feel her teeth grinding together and forced her jaw to relax. "Thank you for trying to look out for me. But I’ve prayed about this, worried about this, and I’m convinced that I want to spend the rest of my life with Alec Munroe." Even if he’d been less than forthcoming about his business in Manatee Bay.

  Rachel looked shocked.

  "And I want you to examine why you’re so against me loving him."

  Rachel’s brows drew together and she frowned. "You mean, like I’m jealous?"

  "No." Katrina gave Rachel a hug because she could tell her friend didn’t know whether to explode or cry. "I just mean that maybe when Scott used you to get close to Maggie, your man judgment might’ve got clouded." The youth pastor had done more than just use Rachel, he’d broken her heart.

  She let go of Rachel and leaned back into the couch.

  "Fine," Rachel snapped, standing and reaching for her purse. "I’ll examine my heart but Alec better not hurt you again."

  "I’m the one who hurt him."

  "No one believes that." She whooshed out the front door and Katrina watched from the window as she marched to her car, flung the door open, and screeched out of the driveway.

  That was the trouble, Katrina thought. No one could see how deeply Alec had been hurt. So deeply it took him ten years to come home.

  But as much as she wanted to deny it, hiding his motives behind his return did bother her. Maybe some little part of her had hoped he missed her, that he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life without her. She would just have to confront him. Stiffen her backbone and demand an answer from her reticent fiancé. The thought of a confrontation depressed her even more.

  Now that Kat’s Korner had burned down, she was ready to leave this place. The fire had shown her that losing the store wasn’t as painful as she’d thought it would be.

  Sitting in the car with Alec, numb from the shock, she’d begun to realize that shock was all there was. Rebuilding held no enthusiasm for her. Now she understood that it was time to let go of the security blanket.


  It occurred to her that during their time in the car, Alec had never even hinted that he owned the building.

  Her jaw dropped. She snapped it closed.

  What if he was planning some kind of twisted revenge?

  Evening shadows crawled across the corners of the couch, adding to her mood. She shouldn’t jump to conclusions. She couldn’t do what she’d done before. He would explain. Hadn’t he denied any vengeful feelings in her kitchen? Who went around looking for revenge anyways? Rachel was just being her normal suspicious self.

  Surely Alec had legitimate reasons for not mentioning his ownership when the opportunity presented itself.

  And surely his persistence in telling her to sell the store had nothing to do with the building.

  *****

  Alec scrawled his name on the contract with a flourish, then leaned back in his chair and yawned.

  Done. At least for the weekend. He now owned a prosperous building, had sold two spec homes and could relax. He shoved a pile of papers to the side, set down his pen and closed his laptop.

  One duty done, one more to do before he could feel the pressure ease. He would have to tell Katrina the truth eventually, if Rachel hadn’t beat him to it.

  It was painful to admit.

  I’ve made all things new, Son.

  And God had. Alec picked up the Bible on his desk and ran his finger over the leather front. Such a simple cover. Plain, unadorned. It did a good job conveying the essence of his faith.

  Why hadn’t he understood before that receiving God’s love could be so easy? That faith was both as simple and as difficult as parachuting for the first time.

  As exhilarating.

  He set the Bible down. Later he would finish the book of Ephesians. He rose to his feet and walked to the balcony of his suite. Opening the French doors, he loosened the collar of his shirt and inhaled the chill morning with a thankful heart.

  The balcony overlooked the river, which wound through varying shades of greenery not yet turned gold, as though autumn had come and gone without notice. He remembered how the trees would begin changing colors by January.

  Right now the river was quiet, not like in the summer, when residents and tourists alike drifted down the clear waters, shouting and laughing and baking their bodies brown.

  Would he be here this summer? Katrina wanted to go to New York. He wanted to take her. But it would be nice to have this place to come back to.

  Surprisingly, Manatee Bay felt more like home than his New York condo ever could.

  A faint rapping came from inside his room. He went back into the suite and, walking to the door, opened it. "Katrina."

  "Can I come in?"

  He stepped aside and she moved past him into the suite. Shutting the door, he followed her. Curls cascaded down her back, riotous over a plum colored shirt.

  "So this is a Hilton suite." He saw the way her eyes pored over the room, catching and holding on the stacks of paper on his desk. Turning, her features looked strained and Alec felt a twinge of alarm.

  She went and stood near the open balcony, her face reflecting the distance between them.

  It didn’t take a genius to figure things out.

  Alec shoved his hands into the pockets of his slacks. "Rachel told you."

  "Yes." Her hands twisted in front of her and for once her lack of composure made him uncomfortable. Now was the time for peacefulness. For serenity. She looked instead as though she’d not slept through the night.

  He walked to his bed and sat, legs spread, elbows on knees, head down. "I wanted to tell you when the timing was right." He swallowed, his worry a stone lodged in his throat.

  "It was right the moment you arrived."

  "I should have told you."

  "Yeah, you should have." Her hair fell past her face and he couldn’t see her eyes. He heard her intake of breath, felt rather than saw the squaring of her shoulders. "I babbled in the car about opening Kat’s Korner again, if the owner rebuilt. Why didn’t you just tell me you’re the owner? Was it some big secret?"

  Alec registered her words and took a moment to answer. He needed to say the right things. He didn’t want to lose her.

  Before he could speak, she joined him on the bed, facing him, hands planted firmly on her legs. "Why would you want to invest in Kat’s Korner if you already owned the building? What possible difference could it make?"

  A question he could answer. "I needed an excuse to be close to you again."

  "You plopped down money to see me?" Her brow wrinkled as if she weren’t sure whether she should be amused or offended.

  "Something like that." He shrugged, trying to gauge whether this would be a good time to give her the ring he'd saved for so long. "I’m not used to sharing my business plans. Then, when I realized how I felt about you, I didn’t want to ruin the trust we were carefully building."

  She bit her lip. "You should trust me enough to be honest about everything."

  "Okay." Alec gulped. For some reason, the thought of sharing everything made his palms perspire more. He swiped his hands against his pant legs. Adding to the coiled tension that clenched his stomach was the knowledge of his ring, waiting in a drawer while he worked up the nerve to offer it to her.

  Katrina must have seen his panicky movements. Her eyes narrowed and her body subtly shifted away from him. "You’re nervous."

  His pulse roared. The jewelry box he’d placed in the drawer beside the bed seemed to be calling his name. He hoped she’d still like the ring, that she’d see the meaning of it even if she decided to get something bigger later.

  But her lips had flattened. "What else is there? Rachel didn’t discover everything, did she? You really came for something more than business."

  Too late, Alec realized his mistake. Katrina was suspicious and she interpreted his nervousness as a sign of guilt. It was more the sign of a soon-to-be-husband but she couldn’t know that. To her, he acted guilty. And she was right.

  He could try to hide the motives that had driven him to Manatee Bay and into her store. She would never know.

  But God would.

  The man he wanted to be, the man God created him to be, could not lie to his future wife. Could not lie at all.

  He met her eyes and reached for her hands, his thumb rubbing the soft skin that stretched over her small bones. Her mouth softened. Her cheeks flushed and her hand turned to hold his.

  Why was he doing this? His flesh made one last bid for control. He could make it so that she would never know what had been in his heart. He squeezed her hand.

  And held on.

  "Katrina, there’s something you should know about me."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Alec’s grip was a vise around her fingers. Katrina glanced down and frowned. The quiet that rose between them filled her with trepidation. Sighing, he released her hand. Taking her wrists, he pressed them against his chest.

  Lines deepened around his eyes. "When I found out about Joey, my motives changed."

  A confession burned in his gaze, revealing at last the secret she’d always suspected he harbored.

  "You wanted revenge," she said flatly.

  "I’m sorry."

  "Just say it." Her lips quivered. She pressed them together, swallowed the disillusionment that threatened to choke her.

  Alec stood, hands balled at his sides. "The news of the building being on sale came to me through Grant."

  "Why didn’t I know?" She tightened her mouth. The corners kept drooping down.

  "It was never listed. Grant knew the guy, called me. He thought I’d be interested. I was. While doing research, your mom’s name popped up."

  "And. . ."

  He shrugged sadly, then began to pace. "So I bought the building, knowing I’d have to force your mom out. Not revenge. Just business with the satisfaction of proving I’m more than what this town tried to make me."

  "Joey changed things."

  "Yes." His tone lowered. "I was so angry. It seemed lik
e taking something precious from you might ease the hurt of my own loss."

  Katrina felt her shoulders hunch.

  "When I first saw you in Kat’s Korner, I wanted you back. After you told me about Joey, I couldn’t think. For a while my head was messed up, but then I saw how you’re different. How I am. And that I could never hurt you that way, could never take your store from you." He stopped in front of her, knelt on one knee. Taking her wrist, he brought the back of her hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. "Please marry me. I love you."

  "But you’ve been pressuring me to sell. This whole thing has been nothing but a big masquerade."

  "Trust me, Katrina."

  "I can’t," she choked out. Her eyes burned and she blinked furiously. Why now? After all this time, he’d finally spoken his love and it meant nothing. Because he’d deceived her from the very beginning. She felt betrayed. In her own kitchen, he’d lied to her. Had acted as though revenge was ridiculous.

  Now she felt the tiniest hint of what he’d gone through when she told him about their son. Her stomach cramped.

  She forced herself to meet his stare. He was so close she could see the merging of brown and green in his irises. Her hands came up and cupped his cheeks. Rough with stubble, they scratched the pads of her fingers.

  "Alec, we can’t marry." A marriage couldn’t be built without an honest foundation.

  "Yes, we can." His voice sounded strained.

  "No."

  This changed everything. Whether or not she deserved it, he was still the same man she’d feared he was. Manipulating, lying to get his way.

  He must have read her thoughts in her expression because he stood, went to the hotel door and opened it. Lips drawn in a line, he scowled.

  "I know that look. Saint Katrina, tallying me up in her book of righteousness. Now that you know my evil motives, I come up lacking, don’t I?"

  "That’s absurd." She stood, the thin fabric of her skirt swishing between her knees.

  "I don’t think so." Hurt carved his features into stone. "I never could measure up. You know what? I love you. I want to marry you. But I don’t need you to be my Holy Spirit. Call me when you’re ready to trust."

  "I was ready." She marched to him and poked his chest with her finger. "Telling me I was why you came back was an outright lie. How do you expect me to handle that?"