The Girl Nobody Wants: A Shocking True Story of Child Abuse in Ireland

by Lily O'Brien

  After that, she would take us back to the home every couple of weeks and we would climb through the same window and into the bathroom to have a wash. But the red marks and rings that were all over my body never went away and my skin was still red and itchy. We managed to get away with using the bathroom for a couple of months, before Jenny realised that someone was leaving clean towels and medicated soap for us to use and the bathroom door had already been locked shut from the outside. We think it was so that we could take our time and have a proper wash and even wash our hair without having to hurry. But my hair had become infested with head lice and they would never go away no matter how much I washed it. Anyway, we all had head lice and they would just jump from one head to another and simple washing would have never gotten rid of them, so we gave up trying and accepted them.

  Then one day, while we were having a wash, somebody knocked on the bathroom door and said, ‘Be quiet and hurry up, the doctor is coming’ and with that we looked at each other in shock and grabbed our clothes. Then we climbed out of the window and ran wet and naked into the bushes at the end of the home’s grounds; and when we thought we were safe, we stopped running and turned around just in time to see a couple of nurses looking through a ground floor window and smiling at us.

  We quickly put on our clothes, then we ran off, giggling to each other and, from that day on, every time we went back for a wash they would only knock on the bathroom door when a doctor really was coming or if we were making too much noise. Otherwise, they would leave us alone to get on with washing; and sometimes when leaving, we would look back and we would see them looking and smiling at us from the windows of the home. They were our friends and the only ones we had.

  It had been almost a year since we had anyone take proper care of us and even after having a wash, we still looked bad, our skin was pale and we were getting sicker by the day. I had lost almost half of my body weight and Simon’s belly and face had swollen from drinking dirty water and having no proper food to eat.

  Then one morning, a woman from the social services came to dad’s house and she asked dad if he could bring all of us for a medical check-up. At first, he said no; but after she had a another word with him, he agreed, and the following morning he got us all dressed in the best clothes that he could find and then he took us all off to the clinic for the check-up. It took hours for the doctors to check us all over and it was obvious to the doctors that we were in very poor health; and after they had finished, they had a quick word with dad and then they said we could all go home. We didn’t know it at the time, but they had already made the decision to take us all into care. And within a couple of days, two police cars full of police officers and social workers turned up at the house.

  It was early in the morning when they arrived and, as they all got out of the cars, one of the police officers walked up to the house and knocked on the front door. I looked up at dad and by the look on his face I could tell that he knew they were coming; and as he opened the door, the police officer told him that he had to get us all dressed and that we all had to go with them to the police station. Dad shouted at all the people and he told them all to fuck off and he tried to close the door, but the police officer told him to stop messing around or they would have to arrest him. Dad said ok and then he came back inside the house and he told us that we all had to go with them, then he got us all dressed and he walked us out of the house and into the waiting police cars.

  Once we were inside the cars, dad went over to one of the police cars and he got in the front seat, next to one of the police officers that he knew. The police officer told daddy that he was sorry, but he could do nothing to help us and then he drove us all to the police station. When we arrived, they took us children into the police station, but they would not allow dad to stay with us; instead, they put him into the back of the police car and they drove him straight to the courthouse.

  Once there, they put him into a room and they told him that he had to sit and wait until they had time to finalise his court case, and until then he could not leave the building or talk to anyone. He asked the police officer what was going to happen to his children and if we were ok at the police station, and the officer told him not to worry, as they were taking good care of us and they would bring us along to him shortly. And dad had no choice but to sit down and wait for us. Back at the police station, we all shouted at the police officers and we made a big fuss, telling everyone in the station that we wanted our dad and that we should not have to stay there because we had done nothing wrong; and we told them they were bad people for taking us to the police station. But it didn’t make any difference; they just looked at us and tried to keep us quiet by talking to us.

  Then, one of the police officers asked us if we were hungry and if we wanted something to eat, and we all said yes, so one of the older police officers who knew our dad put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a load of money. Then he told two of the other officers to go and get us some food, and he kept us occupied by telling us jokes and letting us play around with some of the things in the station. Then, after about half an hour, the police officers came back and they told us all to stop playing and to follow them. They walked out of the room and up some stairs with us following behind them, but as they got to the top of the stairs they all stopped and we all stopped behind them, but we didn’t stop quick enough and we bumped into each other and then we accidentally pushed one of the police officers into his back. He turned, looked back and smiled at us and then he opened a door in front of him, while at the same time he told us all to go inside, but just inside the doorway stood six police officers.

  We walked in and we all looked up at them as we walked past, thinking that something bad was about to happen to us; but as we got further into the room, we could see a huge table covered in food, ‘It’s all for you lot’, he said. ‘Now go over to the table and eat something.’ We all ran up to the table and we looked at the food, there were cakes, drinks and food that we had never seen or tasted before and then one of the police officers poured me a drink of coke and he handed me a cake to eat. I was very excited about the food and I just couldn’t believe my eyes; we shouted at each other and then we jumped up and down with excitement. I grabbed at the food and I began to eat, but it didn’t take long before I started to feel sick and I wanted to vomit; I hadn’t eaten so much food for such a long time that my belly couldn’t cope with it.

  I drank some coke, then I sat down and began to cry, and I told the police officer that I didn’t want the food anymore and that I wanted to go home with my daddy; then my brothers and sisters began to cry and I shouted at the police to let us all go. So, they opened the door of the room, they allowed us to walk back down the stairs and they gave us the freedom of the police station, letting us play around with everything, just to keep us happy; but it didn’t last long and soon they had run out of ideas to keep us quiet.

  Then I noticed an old man sitting in the corner of the room and as I walked over to him, he shook his keys; I asked him what he was doing with the keys and he told me that the keys opened all the cell doors and that I could have them if I wanted. Without speaking, I grabbed the keys out of his hands and I ran over to one of the cell doors, I looked over at him and reached for the lock on the cell door and I put the key into the lock and I shouted to the prisoner inside that he could go home if he wanted to. But a police officer was standing right behind me and he was shaking his head from side to side, then one of the prisoners looked through the hatch at me and he told me that he didn’t want to go home and that I should keep the door locked.

  Then my brother Ted grabbed the keys from me and, one by one, he opened all of the cell doors, while telling everyone inside the cells that he was now in charge and they could all go home; but none of the prisoners came out of the cells. As some police officers were standing behind Ted and they were shaking their heads from side to side and indicating to the prisoners that they had to stay put. Then Ted moved along to an empty cell and we all foll
owed him, and as he opened the door, we all stepped inside and we told Ted to lock the door behind us, and he did. Once Ted had locked the cell door, he told us all that he was going to run off with the keys and we began to shout and scream at him to let us out; but instead of opening the cell door, he went back to the other cells and he told all the prisoners to get out. And he told them all to swap places with each other and the police officers let him do it, and they were all smiling as he made all the prisoners swap cells with each other and then he locked them in again.

  After Ted had finished messing around, he let us all out of the cell and one of the police officers came over to us and he said that he was very sorry but we had to leave the police station and go with him; and then he told us that he was taking us to see our dad. We all shouted and screamed at each other with excitement and we all ran over to the door to get out. We just wanted to get out and go back home with daddy, but instead they put us all into a couple of police cars and drove us to the courthouse where daddy was waiting for us.

  Once we got to the courthouse, we were taken into a small room and sitting in the corner was daddy, and we were so happy to see him that we all ran over to him and we hugged and kissed him. We acted as if we had not seen him for years, and he began to cry and he gave us all a big hug back, while telling us that he was very sorry and that he loved us so much. Then a woman entered the room, she asked us all to follow her and she took us into the courtroom, where many people were sitting and waiting for us. They told us all to sit down, but Simon and I just hung on to daddy’s legs and we wouldn’t let go, so they let us stay with him while they talked to each other about us.

  Then everyone in the courtroom went very quiet and a member of the court staff began to read out our names and our ages, starting with the girls first. Lily age five, Daisy age six, Karen age ten, Jenny age eleven; and then the boys, Simon age four, Chris age nine, Ted age fourteen. Then the judge told everyone that daddy was not a fit and proper person to look after us and that all seven of his children would have to go into care. Daddy began to cry, so did Simon and then I began to cry, so I climbed up onto daddy’s lap and cuddled him, while some of the representatives from the social services gave evidence against daddy and the reasons why they should take us all away from him. They said they needed to put us into a children’s home so that we could be well looked after.

  The judge looked over at daddy and he asked daddy if he could think of any reason why they should not take us all away from him; but daddy just cried and, shaking his head from side to side, he told us that he loved us and that he was so very sorry for not looking after us better. Then the court staff all stood up and left the room, leaving the police and social service staff to sort things out with us. They told us they were very sorry, but it was time for us to go with them and that daddy could not come with us.

  Then the social service staff escorted us all out of the building and, at that moment, we all began to cry and we shouted at them that we didn’t want to go and to leave us all alone, as we wanted to go home with our daddy. But they just looked down at us and I could see that they were struggling no to cry, but they just couldn’t help themselves and soon everyone was crying and sobbing and the people said that they were sorry, but they had to do their job. And the police officer who knew daddy began to cry, but he still had to take us away.

  And once everyone was outside, the police had to take daddy to one side and hold him back while the social service staff put us girls into one car and the boys into another. Daddy then broke down and collapsed to the ground, he was shouting and begging them to stop and the police had to hold him up and comfort him, while we were all driven away, screaming and shouting at him from the cars’ windows, and then we were gone. Leaving daddy standing at the side of the road emotionally devastated and he had to be taken to hospital. Sometime later, some people told us that daddy had suffered a mental break down and he needed professional help to recover, so they put him into a mental home for three months, until he was able to cope with losing us all and he was able to go home and look after himself again.

  CHAPTER 4

  The Convent Home

  After leaving the courthouse, the police drove us around in the cars for hours. I think it was more to do with trying to wear us out rather than us having to travel very far, and by the time we pulled into a drive it had worked. Because all we wanted to do was to get out of the cars and be with each other; but as we drove up the drive, we went through a big set of iron gates and up towards a very large building. ‘It’s a convent’, the driver said.

  But as we pulled up, only our car stopped at the front of the building and the other car with the boys inside carried on past us and around to the back of the building and out of sight. It was very quiet and, as I looked through the car window, I noticed some nuns coming out of the convent and they were heading towards the car. As they approached the car, one of the nuns opened the car door and in a strange but soft voice she said, ‘Welcome to St Joseph’s convent. Please get out of the car.’ I looked around and it was now getting dark and a misty fog had begun to surround the nuns and the building; the atmosphere surrounding the place was creepy and I felt like I wanted to stay in the car. But one of the nuns grabbed me by the arm and she began to pull at me, but I held onto my sisters tightly so she could not easily separate us. But the nun kept pulling at me until I was out of the car, then she did the same to the others and once we were all out of the car the nuns gathered around us and they led us up towards the building. While at the same time, they told us that everything was going to be ok and that they were going to look after us for a little while.

  We all looked at each other and I asked the nuns what was going to happen to our brothers, and one of the nuns said that they had to go to another part of the building to stay with other boys the same as them. Then we all walked through the front door of the building and into a hallway; and once inside, the nuns shut the front door behind us and they led us through a large room and into a bathroom. They said that they had to give us a bath and that we had to take off all our clothes, but we didn’t want to; the room was cold and I was shaking with fear, but they didn’t mess around and they just pulled at our clothes until we were all naked and then I began to cry.

  We all huddled together to keep warm, but the nuns soon pulled us apart, telling us that we had bugs crawling around in our hair and that we had to have all our hair cut off. I was frightened and I was shaking from the cold of the room. I tried to run over to my sister Daisy, but as I ran towards her one of the nuns grabbed me from behind and, within a couple of seconds, she had pushed me on to a chair; and as she stood behind me, she commented that I had lovely long hair. Then, just as she had finished stroking my hair, my head was pushed back and held tight while another nun cut all my hair off. Then they did the same to Daisy, Jenny and Karen.

  After that, the nun told me to get into the bath, but I was freezing cold and I was crying as bits of my hair had fallen into my eyes, making it difficult for me to see. So, I put out my arms and I shouted to Daisy and Karen, hoping that one of them would grab me and pull me towards them. But they never did and all I could do was listen as Daisy and Karen shouted for each other and me, while the nuns told them to shut up.

  Then suddenly, one of the nuns lifted me up and dumped me into a freezing bath of cold water, then she covered me in soap and immediately my skin began to sting and it hurt so bad that I felt like I wanted to be sick from the pain. I shouted to the nun for help, but she didn’t listen to me and she pushed my head under the bath tap to wash the soap off my head. But I had my mouth open and I almost choked and I went dizzy from swallowing some of the water from the tap. She quickly pulled me out of the bath and stood me up, and then she patted me on my back while telling me that I would be ok.

  She then dried me off and told me to stand next to the wall and then she walked away. I thought it was all over, but she soon came back and she covered me in medicated oil, making my skin hurt again. I was now blee
ding and the blood was running down my skin from where she had rubbed scabs away from my body, because she had rubbed me so hard. I turned around and, as I looked over at my sisters, Jenny was being slapped around the head and told to shut up, while Daisy and Karen had medicated oil vigorously rubbed all over them that was making them cry from the pain.

  Once the nuns had finished covering us with the oil, they told us all to go into the next room while they cleaned up, but we were only in the room for a few seconds when one of the nuns came back and put pyjamas on us. ‘Come on’, she said. ‘Now follow me.’ So we all walked behind her. She led us back through the convent, out of the front door and into the cold night air; it was freezing and I pulled Karen close to me to keep me warm, and Daisy and Jenny did the same. Then the nun said, ‘Quickly, quickly, hurry up. I haven’t got all night’, and she ran behind us, pushing us along, while telling us that she had things to do. I turned to her and I asked her where are we going. ‘To your new home’, she said. ‘We call it Willows house, and you’re going to live in it for a while.’ I turned back around and I could see the house in the distance. ‘Walk quicker, she said. ‘Quickly.’ And I ended up having to run the rest of the way until I reached the front door of the house.

  She opened the front door and switched on the light, and we all walked in, not knowing what to expect. It was very quiet and I could see a staircase leading up to the top of the house. Shoes and a few coats lay scattered around the floor, but no one was around. Then the nun said, ‘This way’, she began walking up the stairs and we followed her. I can remember walking past large rooms, with rows and rows of beds on each side of the rooms, but there were no people around at all. The nun said, ‘This way’, and she led us up to the top of the house and into a bedroom in the attic. ‘This is your room’, she said ‘and you better keep it tidy and make no noise or you will be in a lot of trouble. You all have a bed each, but you all have to share the wardrobe and the chest of drawers. I will be back later’, she said. And then she left the room, closing the door behind her.