Falling for the Ghost of You

by Christie, Nicole

  I can't stop smiling right now. Last night was amazing. If I could wake up next to Zane for the rest of my life, I wouldn't need anything else.

  If we got married...

  Shut up, Violet. No silly day dreams. Just live in the moment.

  Shaking my head at myself, I shuffle into the bathroom. I soak in the tub for a little while until my growling stomach convinces me to get out and get dressed.

  Ugh, I forgot a bra. I wrap a towel around myself, grab my clean clothes, and head back to the bedroom. After making sure Zane is still in the shower, I drop my towel and rummage in my bag for a clean bra.

  Did I not bring one? Why did I bring fifteen pairs of panties?

  Oh, great, I just knocked Zane's bag off the bed. And it's open, so all his things tumble onto the floor.

  I pick his bag up and carefully replace the neatly folded clothes. There's something half-under the bed. It looks like a thick manuscript. Curious, I pick it up, and turn it over to the front.

  Hm. The title reads, "Falling for the Ghost of You" and there are two neon green sticky notes attached under it. Frowning, I scan over the elegant scrawl on the first note:

  Aiden,

  The part of Logan was made for you! He's a rock star who wants to lead a normal life, and enrolls in high school, incognito. He ends up falling for a sweet and brainy girl. The writer is Jennifer Kingsley, and it's being backed by Noah Dickensen! Also, Chazz says Alaina is in if you are. Read it and tell me what you think!

  Aiden? What the hell? I read the second note.

  You were right about the ending and that scene in the cafeteria. Talked to Drew and she said it was negotiable. We could discuss the change—if you ever answer your damn phone! Or are you too deep in your role as "Zane O' Connor" in Nowheresville? Drew needs an answer a.s.a.p. Please keep your phone on!!

  P.S., you were right, I totally didn't recognize you! The dark hair and eyes are hot!

  My hands shake so badly, the script falls from my hands and lands on the carpet with a soft thump.

  It can't be what I'm thinking. There must be a reasonable explanation. There is no way Zane is...no way.

  Zane's wallet is right there on the dresser. I've never touched it—never actually went through any of his things. I float to it as if in a dream. It takes me a couple of tries to simply get it open.

  A bunch of black credit cards—all with the name "Crosswinds Corporation" on them. I find his driver's license—Zane O' Connor. But the picture is of scruffily gorgeous superstar Aiden Cross.

  I stare disbelievingly at the picture. I’ve never seen his license before—why would I have? The longish dark blonde hair, those extraordinary sky blue eyes…I’ve seen his face countless times on television, magazine covers…all over Kim’s locker.

  He looks like Bill this way, I realize faintly. The hair dye, the contacts...all for what? To research a role for a movie?

  Is that what this is? Is that what I am? Research? It makes sense now. Zane—Aiden—was using me. Of course he was. I knew there was something he was hiding, and like an idiot, I never pursued any of my suspicions. Because, deep down, I trusted him.

  What an idiot I am.

  I stand there, frozen, until the sounds of the shower turning off propels me into action. I put Zane's wallet back, and his script, then I frantically throw on something to wear.

  I need to get out of here. I don't even want to look at him, or be in the same room as him. I have to go.

  I grab my things together, not caring if I missed anything. Shoes—where the hell, are they?!

  I spot them under a chair. I grab them and sling my bag over my shoulder, and race towards the door.

  The bathroom door is just opening. I don't stop. I reach the door, throwing it open, then carefully shutting it behind me. I don't want him to know I've left. Not yet.

  Heart pounding so fast, I'm breathless and dizzy, I slap at the elevator's down button. Finally, the doors slide open. When I'm pressing the lobby button, I hear my name being called.

  I look up to see Zane running full speed down the hall, shirtless and shoeless. He is coming so fast, he might catch me before the doors close. I stab the close button over and over. The doors slide shut with Zane just an arm’s length away.

  I guess I'm crying. Hot tears fall relentlessly from my eyes as I sag against the wall.

  The look on his face—confused, frustrated, a little angry. He doesn't know I know.

  I don't remember getting out of the elevator and going through the lobby. Everything is becoming increasingly foggy. I just find myself standing in front of the hotel all of a sudden.

  A blue and white car stops in front of me. Numbly, I open the back door and slide into the seat.

  "Can I help you?" the dark haired driver asks, swiveling his head to look at me.

  "I need to get home to Hidden Cove."

  "Lady, this isn't a cab."

  Oh. Great.

  "Sorry," I mutter, quickly sliding back out.

  This time I make sure the car says cab on it before I get in.

  Rico's Cab Service. Wonderful. I climb into the backseat of the tiny white car.

  "I need to get to Hidden Cove. Please hurry," I say to the grandmotherly woman behind the wheel.

  She frowns at me through the rearview mirror. "Hidden Cove, you say? That's two hours away. I don't really..."

  She trails off, studying me harder. "It's going to be quite a bit of money," she warns.

  "That's fine, I have it. Just—please, go!"

  Zane has just appeared out the doors. He spots me just as we are pulling away.

  It's close. He manages to thump on my window before my cab driver accelerates and we leave him behind.

  I can't help glancing back to look at him. He's standing in the road, breathing heavily, watching me go.

  I turn away from the sight of him, squeezing my eyes shut. The pain in my heart is crushing.

  "That you boyfriend?" Grandmotherly Lady asks. "What'd he do to you?"

  "Nothing," I say, my eyes still closed. "It’s just—he's...not who I thought he was."

  "They never are, dear."

  I ignore my phone's constant beeping, letting me know I have missed calls and text messages. I've been on the internet, looking up Aiden Cross. According to pictures and various gossip sites, Aiden Cross and beautiful young actress Alaina Skye are a hot item. God. According to one article, the picture of Aiden and Alaina, laughing with their arms around each other, was taken just a couple of days ago. I want to vomit.

  There are pictures of him with many other gorgeous girls as well. At clubs, restaurants...on the red carpet. He's caught in one picture with his hand on a supermodel's ass in one. He makes headlines when he's pictured sporting a sexy new short-haired clean-shaven look. His hair is blonde in all the photos, his eyes that vivid swimming pool blue.

  I try to look for the Zane I know in the pictures of the famous singer, but I don't find him. I'm looking for someone who doesn't exist.

  I'm so cold. My insides are frozen, and my chest aches. The rest of me is numb. I don't know...what am I going to do?

  I scroll through my messages, and my heart gives a jolt when I see I have fifteen calls and texts from Mom.

  He called her?

  Shit! I send a quick text to her, letting her know I'm okay and on my way home. I send Lauren the same text. She's texted me about a billion times, too. The rest are from Zane. I erase all his messages without even looking at them, then I turn my phone off.

  I spend the rest of the ride looking out the window, not seeing anything, and trying desperately to not feel anything.

  I don't know where to go once I'm back in Hidden Cove. Not home. God, no. Not Lauren's, either. I'm not ready to talk. Not yet.

  I end up having the cab drop me off at the beach. It's the only place I can think of. I drop down into the sand, and just stare at the waves.

  I'm there for a long time. When I come back to myself, the sun is setting over the water in a dazzl
ing display of color.

  I wipe my cheeks and discover they are cold and wet with tears. I need to go—or pee in the ocean.

  Before I leave, I turn my phone on and call Lauren.

  "V, where are you?! Are you okay?"

  She sounds panicked. Did she talk to Zane?

  I start crying again. "Lauren, can I come over. Zane—he—"

  "He's here," she interrupts me. "He's been standing in the hallway for hours now. What happened, V? He looks destroyed."

  "No!" I shake my head emphatically. "I can't...I don't want to see him!"

  Lauren sighs. "You have to. He said he's not leaving until you talk to him---in person. If he stays, we'll get in trouble. You know how the manager is."

  I let my head fall back in frustration, tears pooling in my eyes. "Okay," I say into the phone. "I'll—I guess I'll be there."

  Damn Zane. I don't want to do this now. I'm not ready to face him.

  Aiden Cross. This has got be some kind of dream.

  ******

  Chapter 31

  I walk to Lauren's from the beach. By the time I reach the complex, I'm exhausted—physically and emotionally. I'm sure I look horrible. My eyes are gritty from crying, and my hair is a windblown mess. I guess I don't really care.

  I see him before he sees me. He's leaning against the wall directly across from Lauren's door, arms crossed over his chest.

  Lauren said he looked destroyed, and I'm shocked to see she's right. Zane's face is pale, dark circles under his eyes. He looks as exhausted as I feel.

  His head suddenly comes up at my cautious approach. His eyes seem to burn into mine. "Violet."

  He reaches for me, but I flinch away.

  "Don't touch me!"

  I mean to snap, but my voice comes out high and panicked. I cringe away from him. He is not the guy I sat in the sand with and talked for hours and hours with. He's not the one I had the most incredible night of life with. He's a stranger—an incredibly famous…liar.

  "You know," Zane says. His voice is quiet, emotionless.

  I nod stiffly. "Good bye, Aiden."

  I try to walk past him to Lauren's door, but he grabs me and cages me against the wall.

  Leaning down to look me in the eye, he speaks urgently. "Violet, I am so damn sorry you found out like this. I was going to tell you—"

  "It's okay," I interrupt, turning my head away. "You were using me—I get it. I should have realized. It's done, it’s over with, so just leave."

  Zane exhales loudly in frustration. "No, that's not what this is about. You and me, it's—look, can we go somewhere and talk?"

  "No!" I shake my head, suddenly furious. "I'm not going anywhere with you!"

  I’m too loud. Mrs. Jacobs’ door creaks open next to us. She peers out through the crack, concerned.

  "You okay, Violet?" she calls.

  Zane backs up an inch. I manage to force a smile on my face. "I'm fine, thank you. Sorry about the noise."

  Mrs. Jacobs frowns, with a suspicious look for Zane. "Holler if you need me," she says before she shuts the door.

  "Let's get out of here," he mutters, putting a hand on my waist.

  I pull away. "I’m not going with you. I don't know you. I don’t know you!"

  He glares down at me, frustrated. "You knew me really well last night, when you were screaming out my name."

  I gasp, then I slap him—hard as I can. We are both stunned. My palm is stinging. I rub it gently against my pant leg.

  His expression darkening, Zane nods slightly. "I deserved that. I’m sorry," he acknowledges grimly. Then he leans closer, his mouth brushing against my ear.

  "I haven't changed. I'm still me. You do know me, the real me. I'm the same guy who found you stuck in a doorway, crying, with your pants split—the same one who was inside of you all night."

  His voice is low and fierce. I tremble violently at his words and the memories they stir up.

  "Please just let me go," I plead. The tears are falling faster and faster now. "Just stay away from me!"

  "I can't." His forehead touches mine gently, but he is grim with determination. "Come with me...hear me out. I'm not going anywhere until you do."

  I glare up at him, pushed past my limit. "Why are you doing this to me?! You've had your laughs. Just—go! Leave me alone!"

  He shakes his head, his expression implacable. "Three more seconds, and I'm carrying you out of here. One."

  I try to wiggle away, but he has me pinned with his body. "Someone will call the cops," I threaten.

  "I don't give a fuck. Two."

  What choice do I have? More people are starting to peek out their doors, and it won't be long before someone complains. I don’t want to get Lauren in trouble.

  "Fine," I say stiffly. "I need to tell Lauren."

  Zane moves back so I can step away. As I approach her apartment, the door swings open. Lauren stand in the doorway, her expression confirming that she's been listening in—which is fine. The twins are crowding behind her, red heads bobbing eagerly—so not fine.

  "You okay, V?" Lauren shoots a quick glance at Zane, then back to me.

  I nod. "I'll call you later. If my mom calls you, can you tell her I'll be home very soon?"

  "Sure. Call me if you need me."

  She gives me a meaningful look. I just shrug. When she shuts the door, I turn to Zane.

  "Let's go."

  I silently follow him to his truck, refusing to look at him. I don't even want to breathe too deeply and inhale his soap and fresh laundry scent, because it always turns me on. I'm appalled I can still feel that way about him, but I guess I can't help those teenage hormones.

  "Go to Taco Bill's," I blurt out as he starts the engine.

  Zane stares down at the steering wheel, his jaw clenching. "That's hardly a private place to talk."

  "I don't want to be alone with you," I say bluntly.

  "What, I'm a psycho killer now?"

  I narrow my eyes at him. "I don't trust you. Because you lied to me."

  Zane doesn't respond. We drive to the restaurant in total silence. It's so surreal to me. I am in the car with Aiden Cross, my favorite singer. I had sex with him. How could I have not known? How could I have known? Who would guess that their boyfriend is actually a famous rock star? That doesn’t happen in real life. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that this would be his big secret.

  Ha, if I thought me and Zane didn't stand a chance before...yeah, there goes that dream, right out the window.

  I'm so stupid.

  Zane pulls into a parking spot at Taco Bill's, but neither of us get out. Why did I pick Taco Bill's? Looking out the window, I spot Matt's car, and Kim's. Kim is, like, Aiden Cross' biggest fan. If she saw Zane up close, she might guess his secret identity.

  I feel dumb for saying that. Like he's a superhero or something.

  "You must've thought I was so stupid," I say, my hand on the door.

  He looks up at me. "What?" he says warily.

  I give a bitter little chuckle. "All those times I accused you of flirting with receptionists, waitresses, and cousins...when you were really screwing around with actresses like Alaina Skye, and—and—supermodels."

  "Alaina and I are just friends."

  "Right." I snort. "That's why there are pictures of the two of you with your hands all over each other."

  "No, those were photo ops arranged by our agents for publicity," he growls through clenched teeth. "Like all the other pictures you probably saw. I don't even know most of those girls' names."

  "Right," I say, rolling my eyes. “But then I guess you don’t have to know someone’s name to put your hands all over their ass.”

  He leans across and takes my hand in his. "I haven't been with anyone since that first day we went to lunch together."

  I snatch my hand away. "Why should I believe you? You lied to me about everything. You don't even work at Cronus, do you? Was it all research for your big movie role? The fake name, the appearance...us?"


  Zane is shaking his head. "No! I turned that down a while ago. My agent was trying to change my mind--she snuck that script in my bag to get me to reconsider. That's not even why I came to Hidden Cove."

  "Why did you come, then?"

  "I don't know." He sighs and glances out the windshield. "I guess I wanted a break from being me. Don't get me wrong—I've got the best job in the world, doing what I love. But it doesn't afford much privacy. Hell, I get a haircut, and it's front page news."

  "When I'm Aiden Cross, I'm always putting on a show, you know? I'm whoever my fans want me to be, and that's fine—I get that it's part of the job. I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't love it. They can have Aiden Cross—he's all theirs. He's not real. That's why I came here—I was starting to lose myself in all the hype. I needed to find the real me again. Then I found you."

  I look away from the intensity in his face. I tug at my skirt nervously.

  "Jenna knew," I say softly. "You told her."

  "Jenna was there from the beginning," Zane says. "When I was twelve and getting all kinds of shit, my dad decided we needed a new start. We moved from Seattle to L.A. I started school with a new name and a clean slate. Aiden is my middle name, O’ Connor is my mother’s maiden name. I was Aiden Cross when I met Jenna. Then someone took a video of me singing at a party, and put it online. I've been Aiden Cross since."

  Zane gives a little shrug, like it's no big deal that he was discovered as a kid and became an internet sensation overnight.

  "You could have told me!" I burst out. "You should have told me. I mean—god, I told you—I told you everything! I trusted you, and all this time...you didn't trust me with your little secret."

  "I did trust you—I do. No, look at me, Violet!" He grabs my hand, but this time doesn't let go. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. But please believe me. I didn't tell you because I didn’t want to lose you. I thought I could have it all. I fucked up."

  I'm a mess right now, choking on my tears. I desperately try to hold onto my control, but I just can't. My heart is breaking.

  "Were you ever going to tell me?!"

  Zane looks pained. Does he feel sorry for me now? Is that what this is about?