Right Now

by Marie Hall

  Just then the food cart rolled back around and Obasaan pointed at the chicken feet, a huge grin splitting her face. Uncle Hank rubbed his hands, and Alex’s nose curled just slightly.

  To be petty, or just flat-out meanspirited, my mother passed Alex the tray. Glistening in oil and red sauce, the chicken feet were open and reaching out of the basket like a grasping claw. He must have known what she was doing, testing him yet again, because he took the top one off the tray with his chopsticks and took a big bite.

  Brushing my fingers up his spine, I leaned into him and whispered in his ear. “The feet are full of bones, babe. I think she’s expecting you to react, so whatever you do, just smile and nod. It’ll totally make her shit her pants.”

  Alex smiled and nodded at her. My mother didn’t exactly react, but the drop in her shoulders was as good as it was gonna get. After that she dismissed him, and only then did he lean into me and ask, “What do I do with the bones?”

  Pretending to nuzzle the side of his neck, I continued to whisper. “Go to the bathroom and spit them out. Second door on the left as you come into the restaurant.”

  “Excuse me,” he said, then got up and headed back to the bathroom.

  Second he was out of earshot I rounded on them. “What the hell, Mom?”

  “Watch your mouth, young lady,” my father hissed.

  “I’ll watch my mouth the second you guys start treating him better. What’s the deal with the third degree? This was just supposed to be lunch, not a freaking inquisition.”

  Uncle Hank grunted; thankfully he didn’t mention Alex’s little faux pas from earlier.

  “Did you really expect us not to talk to him?” my mother asked, all smiles and easy-breezy elegance. Acting for all the world like she hadn’t just been the queen bee with him.

  “Talk. Yes.” I stabbed a dumpling with my chopstick and brought it to my lips, ripping into it, knowing just how much she hated for me to act so uncultured out in public.

  “Use those properly. At least act as if you’ve got some class, Misaki.” She bristled and I just smiled.

  “Leave my boyfriend alone.” I speared another dumpling, ignoring her completely.

  “He’s not your boyfriend.”

  My nostrils flared. “Why would you say that, Mom?” I spoke through clenched teeth.

  “He’s got a piercing in his lip. A piercing.”

  If she could have shrieked without having the other tables hear, I think she would have. What I found totally laughable was that while she knew about my tattoos, she had zero clue as to the fact that not only was I also pierced up, but I had a lot more than just one.

  “So you’re going to judge him on that lip ring? C’mon, Mom, look at me. Who do you really think I’d be dating anyway? Some loser in a business suit?”

  Her dark eyes narrowed into fine slits. “You’re acting ridiculous. Making a spectacle of yourself out in public.”

  Of course she chose to ignore my question—why would I think for a second she’d ever actually answer one of my questions? My mom was in serious denial when it came to me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you mean kissing him? Because it was nice—you ought to try it sometime. Take the stick out of your—”

  “That is enough!” My father glowered. “You will not speak to your mother that way. She only wants the best for you, and that man isn’t it.”

  “And you know that how? Hmm? Because he didn’t pass your stupid pop quiz? I l—”

  “If you say you love him, I think I will throw up.” My mother set her white napkin down on the table.

  God, she infuriated me. Was it so impossible that I could love someone so completely opposite to what they envisioned I should have in my life? Why couldn’t they understand that I would never, NEVER, be like them? And for the record I didn’t love him. Lusted over seriously… yes. Liked. Absolutely. Loved… the jury was pending on that one.

  “And what if I do? What if I’m completely, absolutely, head over heels in love with Alex Donovan?”

  A throat cleared and I didn’t need to look up to see who it was. He’d heard, of course he’d heard. I might have squeezed my eyes shut if my entire family wasn’t looking at me. The last thing I wanted them to know was that my confession was one Alex had never heard because he wasn’t really my boyfriend.

  “Sorry to leave,” he said.

  And I was so thankful for my darker complexion; if I’d been as white as my uncle I would have been scarlet from head to toe by this point.

  Then he did something I did not anticipate. He grabbed my hand, and lifting it high enough that everyone at the table could see what he was doing, he flipped it over, palm up, and planted a kiss straight in the center of it.

  That kiss moved through my body like a drug, fluttering little kissy wings through my blood and heart and making me come dangerously close to sighing like some thirteen-year-old Twihard watching Robert Pattinson play Edward Cullen. I’m pretty sure the temperature in the restaurant had just gone up a few degrees too, because I was definitely feeling hot.

  My mother had nothing to say after that, neither did anyone else for that matter. The rest of the meal was a pathetic attempt by my parents to pretend they’d never insulted Alex in the first place, and Uncle Hank kept cracking redneck jokes that only Obasaan found remotely funny.

  I was so thankful when the meal was finally over and we were back in my car.

  “Wow.” Alex leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. “I’m pretty sure your parents hate me. Shit.” He chuckled softly under his breath.

  I winced. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure you’re right. I’m sorry for bringing you to that. They can be kind of territorial when it comes to me. I swear, apart from my mother they’re not usually so vicious. Daddy’s normally really chill… I have no idea what—”

  “Stop.” He cracked open an eye and tossed me a sweet smile.

  The kind of smile I rarely saw him wearing. Alex was a sex god, not sweet, which made that look feel more special. I couldn’t recall ever seeing him do that in high school. He was Mr. Smolder, Mr. I’ll-make-your-panties-melt-off-your-body-with-one-of-my-killer-grins, not Mr. Sweetheart. Never that. My heart went pitter-patter in my chest.

  “It’s fine, really. I think if I had a daughter that looked like you, I’d do a lot worse.”

  “Hmm. Really? And just what are you referring to? My scary tats? Or crazy piercings?”

  “That and your hot bod.”

  “Wow, you’re so romantic. Anyone ever tell you that? Watch out, Alex, you’re in danger of making me swoon.”

  He snorted. “Yeah, what can I say? Just can’t seem to help myself. By the way, those chicken feet…” He shuddered.

  I laughed. “She totally threw the gauntlet down, didn’t she?”

  Rolling his neck from side to side, he sighed. “Yeah, don’t think I scored with the ol’ haha, did you call her? What does that mean anyway?”

  “Means mom.” I glanced at him while we waited at the red stoplight. “I was trying, very unsuccessfully, to get her off your back.”

  “Didn’t work.” He wrinkled his nose.

  “Yeah, no.”

  “So you gonna explain to me the mystery of why you changed your name?”

  I lifted a brow. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean, you do not fit in with the rest of them. In fact, you are the complete and total opposite.” He flicked a piece of hair hanging off my shoulder, his fingers dangerously close to the swell of my breast. It made me shiver and feel strangely hot.

  I shrugged when he finally moved away, giving me a chance to think again. “Well you met them. Why do you think I was in such a hurry to change?”

  He chuckled. “Mommy issues?”

  Very perceptive that Alex; I never really knew that about him. “Yes, if you must know. Serious mommy issues. Growing up, all I wanted to do was make her proud of me. Then I realized that having a four point two GPA, sitting first chair with violin, and being part of the d
ebate team would never make her love me more. Which,” I said and gave an embarrassed snort, “is probably more than you really wanted to know.”

  Seemed weird to share so much with him so soon, but his eyes were just looking at me, and he didn’t seem bored or annoyed. Alex had moved back into my space, resumed flicking the tip of my hair, and I felt weirdly calm about being so bluntly honest.

  “I like knowing things about you, Zoe. You’re interesting to me.” He shrugged like it meant nothing, like what he said hadn’t just made the world tilt on its axis a little bit. “So then you have this giant epiphany and you decide to become this hot rocker chick to piss her off even more. I dig it.” He winked.

  Swatting his hand away, I just rolled my eyes. “That wasn’t it either. It was more like I realized that being what she wanted me to be would kill the real me. I’m a free spirit, always have been. Dressing the way I did…” I brushed my fingers over my skirt. “…like I still do sometimes… it’s not really me. I did it for her. But as you can tell, it’s rarely appreciated. So in the end I realized part of being who I really was meant killing off the girl they tried to mold me into.”

  “Sexy.” He mock shuddered. “So you’re one of those girls now, huh? The kind that’ll stab me in the back with a cute little pocketknife first time I piss you off? Should I run away now or later?”

  I laughed. I couldn’t help it—he was such a goofball sometimes. “My God, you really are a dork, aren’t you?”

  Wiggling his brows, Alex then turned to stare out the window.

  I was trying really hard not to overthink this. To just enjoy him and this, but fear was starting to worm its way into my suddenly panicky heart. Was I falling for this guy all over again? It wasn’t like we’d ever dated, but the way I’d felt for him in high school, the passions he’d brought out in me… The day he graduated, it felt like a part of me had died.

  Yes, I know. Drama. Drama. Drama. But I was sixteen; drama was pretty much a fact of life at that age. I was older, and I couldn’t help but worry that these feelings might get more intense now because I really understood what it was I wanted.

  Problem was, I’d always known what a player Alex was. He had a revolving-door system with women, or what I’d always affectionately referred to as his flavor of the minute. Much as I’d obsessed over him, I’d never wanted to be one of those girls.

  Jamie’s words came back to me then. Right Now. This didn’t have to be a fairy-tale happily ever after. Maybe it could just be a happy for now.

  The ringing of a cell phone cut into my thoughts. I glanced down at his pocket as he reached in to pull out his phone. A muscle in his jaw clenched as he stared at the number. The generic ringing continued on.

  “You gonna get that?” I lifted my brow.

  Hitting the mute button, he shoved the phone back into his pocket. “Nope.”

  More than just a little curious, I pinched my lips and stared out the window. It didn’t matter, his business, I knew that… but I’d also seen the shadow creep back into his eyes. Seen the look I’d seen the other night at work.

  “What are you doing today?” he asked.

  “Hmm?” I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. “Got any plans?”

  His face was hard, there was no sparkle in his eyes anymore. “Let’s do something crazy.”

  “Okay. I like the sound of that. Maybe. What are you thinking?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I just need to do something.”

  I was getting the feeling this was more than him wanting to hang out, that whatever it was it had something to do with that phone call. But I wasn’t gonna lie and say I wasn’t happy to exploit the situation either. Ryko knows my Saturdays are sacred. It’s the one day out of the week that I get to do what I want, and what I wanted was to be here with him right now.

  There went that phrase again and that was it, like some little angel just whispered it in my ear. Go with it, relax, see what happens…

  “Yeah, I know a place. You want crazy crazy? Or just a little crazy?”

  “I want ‘lock me up in a padded cell wearing a crazy jacket’ kind of nuts. You down?”

  “Vanilla, I’m always down for that.”

  Chapter 6

  Alex

  I didn’t know where she was headed, but suddenly we were out of the city and making our way down the freeway. The city gradually faded behind us, and I could breathe again. Seeing that number on my cell, it’d made me want to lose my head.

  I don' know why the hell he was calling me. My loser of a sperm donor knew I didn’t want to talk to him. In fact, from the day I graduated high school, I don’t think he and I had spoken more than ten or so sentences, even when I forced myself to visit them.

  I’d needed to get away and she hadn’t asked why or what for, she’d simply said yes. The pedestal was getting higher, and I was suddenly irritated by that. I asked, “So where are we headed, sugar britches?”

  She bristled, turning a narrow-eyed gaze on me. “Sugar britches?”

  “What, you don’t like it? What about Lollipop?”

  She snorted.

  “Sex on a stick?”

  “You wish, Romeo.”

  Smiling, I unfastened my seat belt. I wanted to be closer to her. No, I needed to be closer. I wanted to do something wild and stupid, I wanted to…

  “Pull over.”

  Thin brows lowered and she sent me a look like I’d completely lost my mind. “What?”

  “Pull. Over.” I was sitting so close to her, then my nose was in her hair and I was inhaling. She smelled so good, her scent of citrus and cinnamon was making my head spin.

  She didn’t ask what again, her blinker was on and she was pulling over. Traffic raced by us.

  “What’s going on, A—”

  I didn’t give her a chance to finish the question. Grabbing her face, I tipped her lips up. I didn’t ask permission, I didn’t wait to see if she’d be okay with what I was doing. Zoe didn’t strike me as the kind that wanted a gentleman—she wanted a man and I was going to be one.

  Our lips touched and I groaned. The feel of her was silky soft and smooth. Her taste, like cinnamon candy, only made me hungrier. Tiny fingers with dagger-like nails grasped my biceps, digging in sharply and bringing a flare of pain. But flames that wild needed more. More. More.

  Then our tongues were dancing and she was trembling. I felt her every twitch, and I just wanted to burrow inside her heat. I wanted to stay right there, exploring her tongue, her body. I wanted to hear her whimper, wanted to make her come. But mostly I wanted to forget, forget the hell that waited back home, the bastard that I could never forgive.

  She tasted so good and was so responsive, and I didn’t give a damn that the cars flying past us were full of people who could see what we were doing. I just needed to forget, just for a little while. I grabbed her breast and I molded its perfect, small shape. I was so hard, it would have been nothing, nothing at all, to slip inside her wet heat and let it all go. My other hand slipped beneath the hem of her skirt and I traced the length of her quaking thigh. Her tiny hands were pushing on my chest and in my muddled brain I couldn’t figure out why.

  All I knew was I had to have her. My gentlemanly resolve was gone, shredded like a moth’s wing in a storm thanks to that fucking phone call. I knew what Doc would say, that I should do the opposite of what my natural instinct was. But Zoe was there in my arms and it was so perfect, she was so perfect, and I had to forget. I had to drown him out.

  I kept hearing noises, small sounds, and it took another few seconds before I figured out it was actually her and she was not asking me for more. Zoe was pushing me away, telling me to stop.

  “Stop,” she said louder, breathing hard and placing a hand over her mouth. “Just…” She swallowed and closed her eyes and whatever else she might have said hung in the air, never spoken or breathed.

  But I knew what it was. Had I been wrong? Had she not wanted that?

  Turning dark eyes on me, she ti
lted her head, causing the thick waves of her hair to slide across her neck like black silk. “What the hell are you doing, Alex?” She sounded angry and her eyes were full of fury.

  “What?” I frowned, not liking the tone of her voice, the hard edge that didn’t sound like anything I’d ever heard from her before.

  “You think a girl doesn’t know when she’s being used?” She bristled, her body vibrating like a tuning fork. She was mad as all hell and that hadn’t been at all what I’d expected.

  “You flirted with me in the restaurant. I thought you—”

  “What?” she snapped. “That I wanted to be just another one of your floozies?” Then she went completely quiet, staring straight ahead, and her tiny jaw worked furiously from side to side. “I won’t be this girl with you, Alex. This was a bad fucking idea. You need to go.”

  I shifted away from her. “What?” I glanced over my shoulder. “We’re in the middle of nowhere, you expect me to just walk—”

  Her eyes were nothing but slits, pink had settled in her cheeks, and damn she was gorgeous. Gorgeous. A sick sort of feeling wormed its way like a maggot through my gut, making me clench it tight. What the hell was going on with me? First the co-eds in the bathroom, now Zoe. I couldn’t seem to make any girl want to hang around me anymore. Ironic part was, I was so hard I could blow a gasket. I wanted her in a way I hadn’t wanted a girl in years, maybe ever. I closed my eyes.

  “Not like you don’t deserve it. I thought we could be friends. We can’t, clearly. Much as I want to dump your ass on the side of the road, I’ll take you home. But move away from me. I’m so GD pissed at you that I’m barely refraining from clawing your freaking lips off.”

  Her fingers were gripping the wheel, the hardness in her face hadn’t let up an inch, and I think I might have felt something I hadn’t felt in a very long time.

  It was a beating pulse in the back of my throat, a dry mouth, clenched fingers. Regret? What the fuck? Regret? About what? That she didn’t want me to paw her ass, or that maybe I actually wanted more from her than just a quickie on the side of the road?