Her Healing Place

by Sybil Smith

  She chucks a paper wad into the trash. "Sucks."

  "What sucks?"

  Startled, Vera jumps slightly in her seat.

  Chavez laughs from his corner desk. "What? Forget I was in here?"

  "Yeah, pretty hard to believe with you smacking on those crackers like that," Vera retorts. "They can hear you chomping your trap in China, old man."

  With crumbs in his goatee, Chavez holds up his hands in defense. "What the hell did I do?"

  "Mama problems," Eugene answers from his desk. "What else?"

  "Clara is a fine woman, Ver. She loves you—"

  "Not her mother, dimwit," Eugene corrects.

  "Ohhh."

  Sighing, Vera flops back in her chair. "Can you two just leave it alone?"

  "Kinda hard to do with you sitting over there with your panties in such a wad."

  "Ugh," Vera snarls, looking to Eugene. "Do me a favor and never say panties again."

  "Got your mind off your problems, didn't it?"

  She glares. "Do I need to add you to my shitlist, too?"

  "C'mon, Ver," Chavez says. "The kid's just trying to help."

  Eugene whips around in his chair. "Who you calling kid, old man?"

  Vera rolls her eyes. "Oh, will you two hush? We've got work to do."

  "Says the woman who's been twiddling her thumbs for the past hour."

  "Mhm," Chavez agrees from his corner desk. "He told you."

  Vera tosses one hand up. "Well what do you expect? I've got a shitload of stuff on my plate. I'm waiting to see if I'm fit enough to parent a kid, a wedding in less than six months, four open cases, a mother who calls me every five seconds begging me to wear a dress…I can literally feel myself going insane."

  Eugene turns to Chavez. They have an eyebrow-wagging war amongst themselves before Eugene faces her again with an unusually soft expression. "Why don't you head home, Vera?"

  "What? No way. We have all this—"

  "Go," Chavez interrupts. "We've got this."

  Vera hesitates. Having the rest of the day to herself would work wonders for her quickly frazzling nerves… "You'll let me know if you catch a break?"

  "You'll be the first call I make," Eugene affirms. "Now get out of here, sourpuss. You're bringing me down."

  Gathering her keys and wallet, she stands to leave. However, she turns last second to look at her current and former partners. "Thanks, guys."

  "Yeah, yeah," Eugene answers, waving her off to save her pride. "I'm just doing this so you have to take the next all-nighter."

  Shaking her head, she leaves before they can see the growing smile on her face.

  * * *

  Vera ordered dinner, changed into her rattiest, most comfortable clothes, and flopped on the couch where she has firmly remained planted for the several hours since leaving work. A million-piece dresser from Ikea needs to be built for Noah's room and a basket of laundry still needs to be folded before wrinkles set in, but she can't seem to force herself away from the Jeopardy marathon currently playing on repeat.

  A key shimmies in the lock, and she waits for the door to push open. "Pizza's in the fridge," she calls out without looking away from the television. "I even picked all the pepperoni off your half."

  "Vera."

  She pauses at the odd lilt to Evelyn's voice.

  "Vera," Evelyn repeats. "Come here."

  Vera pulls herself from the couch and quickly walks to where Evelyn is propped against the front door with her phone clutched to her chest. Her eyes are watery and she has yet made the move to take off her less than comfortable shoes.

  Vera takes a step forward. "What's wrong?"

  "Nothing's wrong. Absolutely nothing."

  Vera's brow furrows. "I don't—"

  A smile forms on Evelyn's face, one larger than she's had in months. Pure excitement rolls off her in waves. "We got him."

  Unable to follow, Vera shakes her head. Eugene said he would call with any leads, and her phone has remained silence save for the incessant texts from her mother. "Got who?"

  "I received a call as I was parking the car," Evelyn starts.

  Vera feels her heart drop. Or rise. Or…something. "Oh-kay?"

  The smile on Evelyn's face only grows. "It was Elena."

  Vera's eyes grow wide. "And?"

  "We got approved."

  Vera's mouth opens and closes once, twice. "Wha—you're serious?"

  Evelyn's smile grows impossibly wider, and she all but elegantly bounces on her toes. "It's not official yet, but we can start having supervised visits—"

  Vera kisses her through a smile. She breaks away to laugh, part in disbelief and part in pure glee before pushing forward for a kiss again. "This is…this is insane! I don't—when can we see him?"

  "Elena said as soon as tomorrow if we want—"

  "Well what did you say? Abso-damn-lutely, I hope."

  "Not quite in those terms," Evelyn answers, grinning. "But yes."

  "Wow." Vera shakes her head. "Wow. This is really happening." Vera fidgets with her hands before finally putting them on her hips. "I don't even know what to do with myself."

  Evelyn beams. "Me either." Stilling Vera, she leaves quick pecks against her lips. "He's going to be ours."

  "I'm so…" Vera sighs through a grin. "I never want this feeling to end."

  "It wont," Evelyn says. "A child brings a very unique kind of joy. Even when things are going terribly, they brighten your day like nothing else."

  As tears begin to well up in Evelyn's eyes, Vera softly runs her thumbs across Evelyn's cheeks. "You okay?"

  "So okay." Evelyn leans back against the door for support. Her limbs are shaky, and she can't quite tell if she wants to cry or laugh. But the one thing that she does know is that she hasn't been so thrilled, so anxiously excited in a really, really long time. "More than okay."

  Their kisses are soft and sweet, through smiles and broken laughter. They're the first completely stress-free moments they've shared in months. Evelyn steps forward into the comfort of Vera's arms, leaning her forehead on Vera's shoulder and breathing in her scent. Her lips tickle against Vera's neck as she speaks. "I can't believe this is happening already."

  "Already?" Vera laughs. Her fingers tangle in Evelyn's hair as she nestles her closer. "It feels like it's been forever."

  Vera feels rather than sees Evelyn raise her brow. "And yet it still wasn't long enough for you to build that dresser, was it?"

  * * *

  Evelyn spins the engagement ring around her finger. She looks left and right, waiting for any sign of Elena and Noah's arrival to the public park. The first three visits they have with Noah are to be supervised by Elena's in order to determine whether or not he will be a good fit for their family. While it's understandable, it serves to add more pressure and nerves than their meeting otherwise would've.

  She places her hand on Vera's knee to still Vera's nervous bouncing, and flashes a small grin. "Take a deep breath. It will stimulate the Vagus nerve and initiate the relaxation response."

  Vera pointedly looks to the reddened flesh of Evelyn's ring finger. "Looks like someone needs to take their own advice."

  "I believe the age-old adage states: Do as I say, not as I do."

  "Alright, Gandhi."

  Evelyn's brow furrows. "Gandhi said no such thing."

  Vera starts to reply, but she suddenly looks around Evelyn to the sidewalk. Realizing what kind of look is on Vera's face, Evelyn quickly turns as well.

  Tiny hand latched on to two adult-sized fingers, Noah and Elena make their way towards their spot at the table. He's much smaller than his age warrants due both to his still semi-recent bout with cancer and very apparent neglect. The t-shirt and blue jeans he wears are more appropriately sized for a three-year-old rather than a near five-year-old. His curly brown hair has been washed and the knots combed out, but the wind blows the almost-too-long tendrils in his eyes. He nervously sucks on the end of his thumb harder the closer he gets to them.

  Ver
a and Evelyn stand as the two approach, fingers laced and both fidgeting in some form or fashion. Their future all rests in Elena's hands. It's not something to be taken lightly.

  "Sorry we're late," Elena says as she finally reaches them. She looks down to him, softly grinning. "We made a stop for new clothes, didn't we?"

  Noah silently looks between them all, thumb still at the corner of his lips.

  Evelyn slowly crouches down in front of him, purposely keeping her voice low. "Do you remember me, Noah?"

  "Evelyn," he whispers immediately.

  "Good," she replies, trying to cover the broad smile forming on her face. "Do you remember Vera?"

  He shades his eyes as he looks up to Vera's standing-form. "Chocolate."

  Vera laughs at Evelyn's confused look before she, too, crouches down. "Yeah, that's right. I brought you chocolate."

  He cocks his head to the side. "Chocolate now?"

  She pats her pant pockets. "Oh, uh. Sorry, bud. I don't have any this time."

  He promptly shoves his thumb back into his mouth.

  Vera and Evelyn glance at each other, quickly, before Evelyn takes his small hand in her own. He steps forward, letting go of Elena completely, showing a burst of comfort with her presence. While he shows signs of reversion in terms of his mental capacity, it's clear that his emotional connection to her has not waned.

  She gently brushes some of the hair from his eyes. "I'm so happy to see you again."

  "It's been long time," he answers, timid sadness shining in his eyes.

  "Yes, it certainly has. Do you know why you're here today?"

  "Nuh-uh."

  Evelyn looks to Elena, but the woman's head shakes slightly. No sense in getting his hopes up when things could very well fall through.

  "Oh." Evelyn clears her throat before plastering on a smile. "I brought a puzzle. Would you like to help me put it together?"

  It's enough to wash away his shyness. The corners of his little mouth curve up in a beaming smile. "I love puzzles."

  Elena sits one picnic table over from them, observing every single interaction. Once Evelyn settles on the bench opposite Vera, he surprisingly climbs onto Evelyn's lap without so much as the slightest hesitation. It's like he belongs there, like he's thought about doing that very thing since their last interaction with each other.

  Evelyn's eyes almost immediately water, and that's before she even sees the awestruck look on Vera's face.

  She kisses the crown of his wild hair as he begins to piece together the toddler-sized puzzle.

  * * *

  Elena pulls Evelyn aside while Vera gently pushes Noah on the swings.

  "Vera is really good with him."

  "She is," Elena agrees. "It's hard to believe it's her first go around. She shouldn't have any problem with the second parent adoption."

  Evelyn turns slightly towards her. "So you think we will have no issue finalizing Noah's adoption?"

  "I'm not at liberty to discuss that." Elena's lips curve up slightly. "But I can say that I hope you guys can finish his bedroom in the next couple of months."

  Evelyn smiles broadly and barely stops short of laughing. "I think that can be arranged."

  Noah cackles as Vera pushes him just shy of too high. If someone were to glance their way, it wouldn't be too far of a stretch to think they were related. Their curls, dark eyes, dimples in their smiles. No one would guess it was one of the first few times they have seen each other.

  "So. Hypothetical situation," Elena starts, jerking Evelyn from her reverie. "Noah wakes up sick one morning, but you're both working a difficult case. What would you do?"

  "I would decide if he needed serious medical treatment. If not, I would stay with him until I was sure he was comfortable and Clara had arrived to take care of him for the day. Vera is convinced her mother's soup can cure almost anything," Evelyn adds on, smiling, before continuing. "If he wasn't comfortable with me leaving him, I would stay with him for the entirety of his illness, no questions asked."

  "You would call out just like that?"

  She nods resolutely. "Just like that.

  "And Vera?"

  "Vera loves her job…but she loves her family more. She would drop everything if Noah or I needed her."

  "I'm sure she would," Elena replies. "I know you've been a mother before, but adoption brings with it a whole slew of other proplems. Do you have any concerns?"

  Evelyn swallows thickly.

  "I'm afraid he's regressed," she admits. "At almost five, he should be using a much more advanced grammatical syntax by now."

  "That's not uncommon in children whom have gone through as much as Noah has in such a short amount of time."

  "Yes, I've done some research on the topic. I'm only wondering if he will be ready for kindergarten in the fall, or whether he should be held out a year."

  Elena hesitates. "Does this alter your mindset about the adoption?"

  "Noah needs us as much as we need him." Evelyn pulls her focus from Vera and Noah to Elena. Her expression is nothing less than serious. "Vera and I are not going to change our minds. Of that I am certain."

  Elena gently squeezes Evelyn's arm. "Glad to hear it."

  "Champ's hungry," Vera announces as she approaches with Noah. His small hand is encapsulated by her larger, his other thumb in his mouth, and he bobbles to keep up with her long strides. "Do we have time to take him for food?"

  "I think I see a diner right over there we can walk to," the social worker answers. Does that sound okay?"

  For once Evelyn doesn't think about inspection ratings or clogged arteries or unhealthy diets. All she can think about is spending time with her soon-to-be son. "It sounds perfect."

  * * *

  "What do you mean you've never had a corndog before?"

  Noah shrugs from his seat in the booth next to Evelyn.

  "That's just sacrilege, dude." Vera watches as Evelyn cuts it up into tiny pieces. "What are you doing?"

  Evelyn raises a brow. "Hotdogs are one of the leading causes of choking in children. I can't give it to him whole. "

  "Oh. Ma would just shove 'em at us and hope we didn't stab each other with the sticks."

  Elena, forced to share their booth in the packed diner, asks, "I take it you have siblings?"

  "Two brothers," Vera answers. "Darren runs a deli, and Davis is…Well, Davis is Davis."

  "I see." Elena watches Evelyn's interactions with Noah. When he tries to shove four pieces of food in his mouth at once, she smiles when Evelyn gently explains that he can take his time, that the food isn't going anywhere until he's completely finished. "Do you think having a big family is something you see yourself striving for?"

  "Evelyn did just fine without one." Vera shrugs. "And besides, even if we don't have a big one of our own, my family more than makes up for it. I mean, you met Ma."

  Elena laughs softly. "I see your point."

  Evelyn can hardly force herself to look away from him for more than a second. She plays with his hair, watches as he pitifully scarfs down the food, softly dabs away the swipe of mustard from his cheek. She is enthralled by him. Enraptured by him. He is so very different from Tristan; there is no comparison. But she still knows she is going to love him completely. Irreversibly. He is going to be her son; she can only hope he loves she and Vera as his family, too.

  Once he's wiped his plate clean of everything save for a smudge of ketchup, he looks to Vera with wide, pleading eyes. "Chocolate now?"

  The look on his face is nothing short of heartbreaking. "Wow. He's good," Vera states, grinning. "Do they have ice cream here?"

  "I'm afraid we really have to be going," Elena regretfully answers.

  Evelyn's head jerks up. When her eyes meet Vera's, no words are needed to explain just how devastated she feels. Vera's eyes soften, and there's nothing more she wants than to wrap Noah up and take him with them right then and there. Anything to keep Evelyn from looking like that. From feeling like that.

  They slowly clim
b out of the booth, all of them nearly silent, and walk outside. It's a beautiful early summer day—birds chirping, blue sky, the works. A complete contrast to how it feels to say goodbye to him.

  Vera crouches down eye level to him. "Next time I'll bring so much chocolate that you won't even know what to do with yourself. Sound good?"

  He grins widely.

  Vera playfully ruffles his hair as she stands. "See ya soon, kiddo."

  Evelyn crouches down with a little more finesse. She fights the lump in her throat as she smoothes his hair back in place and straightens his clothes, anything to busy herself. "I'll see you again really soon, okay?"

  His brow crunches. He looks at Elena and then back to Evelyn. "But I not want you to go."

  Evelyn pulls him in for a hug, holds him as tightly as she dares, and kisses his forehead as he steps back. Their eyes lock—brown on blue, sad on sad. She was so excited to finally see him that she neglected to think about how it would feel to let him go.

  She finally plasters on an assuring smile. "I don't want to leave you either, Noah. But it's only for a little while. I'll see you again next week."

  He fiddles with the ends of her hair. "Promise?"

  Her face grows serious. "I absolutely promise."

  When she stands, Vera's fingers interlock with hers for support, to ground her. They silently watch as Elena leads him to the car.

  He looks over his shoulder, repeatedly, the entire way.

  Chapter 33

  The few-hour-long day visits flew by, with Noah being progressively less shy and more upset to leave each and every time. Evelyn finally cried at the end of their last, deciding that the week long wait would be unbearable. So she threw all of her efforts into preparing his room and making sure their small apartment was impeccably spotless in order to hopefully distract herself from his absence.