Her Healing Place

by Sybil Smith

  In short, she drove Vera nuts with no signs of stopping until Noah was physically there on their doorstep.

  And once he was there for his first unsupervised visit, their lives irreversibly changed forever. When he claimed the Yankees were his favorite team (even though he had no idea what kind of team they were), Vera bought him a tiny blue and gray shirt for him to wear when he was with them. After only two short stints in their home, his English had improved significantly thanks to Evelyn's gentle encouragements and lessons with educational coloring books. Over the course of little more than a month since they began regularly seeing him, he grew smarter and less reserved, with his calm, yet playful demeanor beginning to shine through. His soft blue and green truck-themed room had been a hit, with him completely disregarding cartoons in favor of playing with puzzles and coloring books and tiny cars on the floor of his bedroom, nestled safely between Evelyn and Vera.

  Things had been going well, so well in fact, that neither of them were surprised (but both incredibly mix-of-crying-laughter kind of excited) when Elena had finally called to tell them the adoption would be finalized the Saturday following his third and final day-only stay with them.

  With his last unsupervised home visit nearing an end, Vera plops him on the couch with a bowl of chocolate-mint-swirl ice cream. He begged for some sort of pistachio-cherry mix, but Vera drew the line with anything that sounded remotely healthy for dessert.

  "You're going to ruin his appetite."

  "The kid needs a little meat on his bones," Vera argues. "Don't ya bud?"

  His lips smack as he tries to lick off the chocolate mustache now marring his face. "Mhm. Need a little bones."

  Evelyn can't hold back her grin as she sits next to him. She plays with his hair absentmindedly and doesn't even mind when he splatters his ice cream on the couch cushion. Her eyes lock with Vera's briefly, confirming that yes this is a good time before clearing her throat. "Noah…may I ask you something?"

  Clearly losing a battle to lick every drop of sticky from his fingers, he looks to her questioningly.

  "You know how some people have a mommy and a daddy?"

  His lips drop a fraction. "I not had a mommy and daddy in a long time."

  Evelyn hesitates.

  "What Evelyn means is that sometimes people have mommies and daddies, but sometimes people don't have mommies and daddies," Vera cuts in. "Sometimes they don't have either, but sometimes they have a mommy and a mommy. What do you think about that?"

  His brow crinkles. "A mommy and a mommy?"

  "Yes," Evelyn encourages. "A mommy and a mommy."

  "Like you and Bera?"

  Evelyn feels her breath catch. "Like Vera and I, yes."

  Shrugging, he returns his attention to the ice cream. "Okay."

  It wasn't an ambivalent okay, it was a yes I'm totally cool with it kind of okay. It was the kind of okay Evelyn has been hoping to hear from him; the kind that makes her heart feel incredibly lighter with his easy acceptance. It gives her enough courage to push forward.

  She moves his licked-clean bowl out of the way and places him sideways on her lap, allowing Vera to move closer to them both. With the finalization date quickly approaching, now is a good of a chance as any. "Do you know what family means?"

  He hesitates slightly. "A mommy and a mommy?"

  "It can mean a mommy and a mommy,” Evelyn chuckles. “But it also means that some people love each other so much that they will always be together." She looks to Vera briefly; Vera's smile encourages her to push forward. "Would you like to be part of our family?"

  Noah cocks his head, his voice rising slightly. "With you and Vera and Tate?"

  She nods. He looks between her and Vera, his face slightly lighting up, but he reels back his excitement almost instantly, as if it's almost too good to be believed. "I can be your little boy?"

  "Absolutely yes," Evelyn answers. "You can be our little boy and live here with us and never, ever have to go back to your old house."

  Noah looks around the living room. "I'll be here all the time?"

  "All the time," Vera agrees. "You won't have to say goodbye to us again, little dude. How does that sound?"

  He hesitates. Evelyn's heart beats so hard that it vibrates her chest. Without his eagerness, without his consent, she doesn't know what she's going to do. There's no way she will force him into a family he doesn't want, but there's no way she's going to let him go back to the foster home he has been struggling just to survive in.

  Finally, a smile blooms across his face. He holds his thumb up just the way Vera taught him. "Sounds like a plan, Stan."

  A relieved laugh bubbles through Evelyn; uninhibited tears well up in them both. They surround Noah in a near bone-crushing heap of hugs and speckle his face with kisses while he accepts it all, willingly and eagerly and happily, for the first time in a really, really long time. He is really and truly going to be someone's little boy at last.

  He finally worms his way to the surface of their smothering kisses. "Can I have pasgetti?"

  "Spaghetti? Sure, dude," Vera agrees, unable to wipe the smile from her face. "Anything you want."

  His nose wrinkles. "Not your pasgetti, Bera. It tastes bad. ”

  Vera pauses mid-step. "Did I just get slammed by a four year old?"

  Evelyn smiles broadly. "I think you did."

  "You little monkey," Vera says, ruffling his hair, effectively cause him to giggle. Evelyn may be right in believing he is picking up more and more of Vera each and every day.

  Spaghetti made and noodles sprinkled all across the table where Noah sits, Vera looks up, surprised, when the front door flings open without so much of a knock.

  She barely holds in a groan when a wild, beaming Clara steps into view. "Where's that little grandson of mine?"

  "Ma," Vera warns, half standing from her seat.

  "What?"

  "You're going to scare him."

  "I'll do no such thing—oh my gawd," she drawls out when her eyes land on the little boy. "Would you look at him? He's beautiful."

  "This isn't the first time I've seen him, Ma."

  "Oh, hush, you. I'm excited. Let me be excited." His eyes widen as Clara moves to pinch his sauce-covered cheeks. "Oh, look at you." She looks over his shoulder. "He's just perfect. Evelyn, we have to work on fattening him up. Does he like cake? I have just the thing."

  "You and Vera are going to make the poor child obese," Evelyn answers, grinning.

  "He can stand a few pounds," Clara replies. "Vera was a little tub of lard when she was little and look at her now."

  Vera scowls. "Can you not tell people that?"

  "What? It's a compliment."

  She barely resists the urge to roll her eyes.

  When Evelyn takes Noah to peel off the dirty Yankees shirt and pick the noodle chunks that have somehow gotten entrapped in his hair, Clara pulls Vera to the living room out of earshot.

  Her voice is a whisper, as if the topic is somehow something to conspire about. "So is he—is it official?"

  Grinning, Vera flops down on their couch. "It is."

  Clara claps her hands. "Oh, this is just wonderful. Wait until everyone at church hears about this."

  "Ma—"

  "It’s a blessing Vera," Clara explains as she, too, sits down. "I'll be damned if I don't brag about him just a little. When does he get to stay for good?"

  "Evelyn signs the papers Saturday.”

  For probably the first time in her motherly life, Clara hesitates briefly. "How's Evelyn doing?"

  Looking away from the television, Vera nods slowly. "Good. She doesn't compare him to Tristan. She just loves him for who he is, you know? It's weird. It's like they have this…thing between them that I'll probably never understand. They just look at each other and, bam, they're on the same page. I've never seen anything like it."

  "You don't think you have that with him?"

  Noah is already becoming her partner in crime. What she does, he almost instantly follows su
it—whether it be something as mundane as watching a ball game or sneaking ice cream before dinner. She may not have suffered anything near what he or Evelyn have endured, but she, too, has a growing connection with him that will only strengthen over time.

  "I was scared at first about where I was going to fit in," Vera admits. "But Evelyn's made it pretty clear. And so has he."

  Confused, Clara's brow crinkles. "Clear about what?"

  "Even though I won't get to adopt him for a little while longer, I'm his mother just like she is," Vera explains, the smile on her face growing exponentially by the second. "We make decisions about him together and take care of him together and love him just like everybody else loves their kids. For the first time in my life, I really know where I fit in. Here, with them—there's no where else I'd rather be."

  Grinning, Clara practically forces Vera against her chest. "There’s nothing a mother wants more than for her children to find happiness. You’ll see.”

  * * *

  After signing the adoption papers and taking Noah out for their first supper as a legal, bona fide family, they straggle into the house in an exhausted silence. Vera places the tiny bag of Noah's belongings on the chair in the corner of his room. "I can't believe that's all of it."

  Evelyn, carrying a sleeping Noah, follows her inside the bedroom. She whispers in order not to wake him. "If there was any more, I don't know where we would put it."

  The room already contains enough toys, thanks to Clara and the rest of Vera's family, to last him for a year and still not get bored of them. Not to mention the clothes they gathered throughout the months while they waited for him. He's so small that he won't grow into most of them until winter anyway, leaving little room for any extra pieces in the closet and dresser Vera finally managed to put together after six failed attempts.

  Vera feels a little better knowing that while he didn't have much before, he has more than enough here. With them, and Clara and Darren and, hell, even Davis in his life, Noah will never know what it feels like to go without the basic daily needs again.

  Vera turns down the blankets, stepping away briefly while Evelyn gently places him in his twin bed. He doesn't rouse. Bending down and brushing away his hair, Evelyn kisses the soft skin of his forehead. This is real. He is theirs; he is here for good. She kisses him once more.

  After closing the door partway, they walk to the living room. But they don't sit down. Evelyn taps her chin with her finger as she paces. Vera stands with her hands on her hips.

  Evelyn looks over to Vera. "I can't—"

  "We can't—"

  They instantly share a relieved laugh.

  "I know he has to get used to sleeping in his own bed," Evelyn starts. "A routine is key, but—"

  "But it kind of feels like we're tossing him in there alone to cope by himself," Vera finishes. "Yeah. I know."

  "Do you mind if he sleeps with us?"

  "Of course I don't—" Vera bites her lip. "Actually, I have a better idea."

  Couches and tables pushed away and pillows and blankets strewn across the living room, Noah nestles between them in a palate on the floor. Waking only briefly when Vera picked him up, he fell asleep instantly upon being tucked back in in the small space between them. So used to being locked in a grimy room by himself, he apparently wasn't the least perturbed by sleeping in his bedroom alone. At least he has a real bed and nightlight now. Nonetheless, they still selfishly brought him out under the guise of not wanting him to wake up scared in an unfamiliar place.

  Vera turns the volume on the television down to where only a low hum can be heard. She flips on her side towards Evelyn. "You've seriously never done this?"

  "I've made my fair share of blanket tents and pillow forts," she whispers. "Never this, though."

  Vera grins. "Me and Darren used to do this every Friday night. Ma would make us a palate in hopes that we would go to sleep eventually, but we would always stay up watching cartoons on our little box tv."

  "Where was Davis?"

  "We'd always end up doing something that would make him cry and jump in bed with Ma."

  "Poor Davis," Evelyn laughs. Propping her head up with one hand, she uses the other to gently trace Noah's sallow cheek. She marvels at the shadows his long lashes leave on his pale cheeks. "He is beautiful, isn't he?"

  "Just like his mom."

  Evelyn shakes her head. "If anything, he looks like you."

  "I wish I had looked like him," Vera retorts. "Maybe then Ma wouldn't go around telling everyone I was a tub of lard."

  "Prepubescent weight gain is completely natural. And you shaped up quite nicely. I'd venture to say you did even better than most." Evelyn then takes his tiny hand in hers. She kisses it before rubbing it lightly with her thumb. "Malnourishment during developmental years can cause irreversible damage and deficits that last throughout the entirety of a child's life."

  Vera's eyes soften. "He'll be fine, Evelyn."

  She glances up to Vera. Her eyes shine in the low light of the room. "How do you know that?"

  Vera shrugs as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. "He has us now."

  Chapter 34

  After sorting through venue after venue, they finally settled on having their wedding ceremony in the backyard of Vera's childhood home. Calla lilies decorate every inch of available space and enough white chairs to seat Vera's immediate family for a small, comfortable ceremony. While Vera had ultimately decided against wearing a dress, Evelyn picked out a simple white dress that billowed around her knees when a breeze blew through the yard.

  They planned for everything to be simple, but elegant—a perfect conglomeration of what they both wanted.

  Evelyn tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear while she stands at the side of the house. Vines climb up the muted yellow vinyl siding towards the clear blue sky, curling only at the very tops towards the brick chimney. She finds herself thinking about what Tristan would be doing if he were here.

  "Mommy?"

  Evelyn turns, finding Noah in his little black tux approaching her. Her heart soars, filling her chest so full that it threatens to explode. In the four months he has been with them, he has never once referred to her as anything other than Evelyn. Her eyes water almost immediately. She leans down towards him, unable to hide her massive smile. "Hey there, handsome. Come here.”

  He grins at the nickname and runs into her arms. Evelyne presses her nose into his hair, smelling the new but still familiar scent of her son. Noah picks up the small pendant around her neck to fiddle with. "You look pretty."

  "Thank you, baby." She straightens his downy blue bowtie. "Have you seen Vera?"

  He nods exaggeratedly. "She's standing at the end of the island for you."

  "The aisle?"

  "Oh. Yeah, the aisle." He begins fiddling with his fingers-a habit born from Vera and Evelyn both. "Can I call Vera Mommy, too?"

  For a moment, she says nothing. Noah, her son, finally, finally feels comfortable enough and loved enough to accept them just as they have accepted him. She releases a small, giddy laugh. "You can call her whatever you want."

  Biting on his thumb, he manages to smirk. "I can call her Daddy?"

  She playfully raises a brow. "You may have to ask her about that one."

  "I'm playing,” he laughs sweetly and high pitched. There's nothing he loves more than make a 'kidding' as he so calls it.

  "Do you want to call her Mama?”

  He contemplates for a few moments, sucking in his bottom lip. “Umm..yes. That sounds good to me!”

  “It sounds good to me too,” she chuckles. “Are you going to stand next to her like a big boy?"

  "A big boy on the island," he nods. He holds out rolled paper wrapped with a blue ribbon. "She wants me to give this to you."

  Clara emerges from the front of the house. "There you two are. I've been looking everywhere. It'd be a shame to be late to your own wedding."

  Evelyn takes the piece of paper from him before kissing his cheek. "
Go with Nonna so she can take you where you need to be, okay?"

  "If I have to," he answers. "I love you, Mommy."

  She will never get used to hearing those words fall so freely from him, and he says them whenever he can—as if he's afraid that he will somehow be unable to one day. She straightens his tux one more time before he leaves, punctuating each word with a kiss to his cheek. "I love you, too."

  Once alone, Evelyn unties the blue ribbon and unrolls the paper. It's a photo—a copy of the one from her fridge of both she and Tristan at the zoo. When she flips it over, she involuntarily sucks in a quick breath. Her hand presses against her chest as she reads.

  Something old and something blue rolled into one. For the something new…I'd say today is something pretty new for us both. I love you, Evelyn. All of you—your past, our present, and our future. Now quit worrying about your hair and come make me the happiest woman in the world.

  Evelyn ties the photo back up and sticks it into the center of her bouquet.

  With a deep breath and a smile, she makes her way to the backyard where her future awaits.

  Epilogue:

  Noah, now almost eight, tugs on Evelyn's hand incessantly as she tries to change out of her work clothes. The just-turned-two-year-old twins are wailing so loudly downstairs that she can hear them all the way from her bedroom. Their new puppy, a gift from Santa, needs to be taken out before he decides to make the floor into a bathroom, again, and the babysitter is still here, tapping her foot against the tiles of the foyer as she waits to be paid.

  With a sigh, Evelyn pinches her nose to stave away her growing headache as Noah starts running circles around her, spewing off random facts he picked up throughout the day. Normally she would take the time to listen and ask him to explain further, to encourage his ever-growing interest in the sciences, but the dog sniffs around the room for the perfect corner to pee in, and Alicia, the babysitter, apparently decided that she won't help with the crying twins a minute after nine even though she's still here. Evelyn spent the day testing bodily materials for two unrelated and very complicated homicides, and all the commotion in their home just serves to further frazzle her already-shot nerves.