Simmer

by Stephanie Rose

  “Maybe, but I’m not cold.”

  “No, you’re not.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “You’re warm and sweet and I need to get you inside before we start attracting an audience.”

  I laughed and wiped my damp cheeks with the back of my hand. “Thank you for . . . coming here.”

  “A blizzard wouldn’t have stopped me. Not when it comes to you.” He pecked my lips.

  I took his hand and led him toward the apartment. “Come meet my daughter.”

  “Yeah?” His dark eyes, now almost black, widened. “I’d love to, but you’re sure?”

  “Yeah.” I nodded. I still felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach, but Drew made me want to stand back up. I took one last look back tonight, but I wouldn’t let it keep me from moving forward—and I was starting with the man I’d been afraid to want.

  That’s how I wouldn’t let them beat me.

  Drew

  WHEN SARA CALLED me, her voice full of anguish and devastation, I bolted out of my aunt’s house without giving anyone a goodbye or an explanation. I’d get shit for that later, but I didn’t care. Sara didn’t know how to ask anyone for help. She never trusted anyone enough. But she called me. She sobbed in my arms and then she kissed me and let me kiss her. My mind was reeling as I followed her into the apartment, her hand still clutching mine like a lifeline.

  I hated that she felt so unlovable when she was the complete opposite. I remembered the brittle and withdrawn beautiful woman I’d met all those months ago, and the little pieces of herself she gave me as she slowly let me in. She had the purest heart behind all those walls she barricaded it with. Now that I had a taste of her, pretending to only be her friend would be impossible. I’d been dreaming of those soft lips on mine since that first day in the hallway, and I wanted more. I wanted her.

  She turned to me with those deep brown eyes, still bloodshot from crying. She gave me a sweet smile before pulling me all the way inside and locking the door.

  “You’re a foolish man, Kostas. Crazy and foolish.” She let out a long sigh and buried her head in my chest. I cinched my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m crazy about you, Caldwell,” I whispered into her hair.

  “Mommy!” A little girl barreled into us, hanging onto Sara’s leg as she cried into her hip. “I thought you left; I thought you’d miss Christmas.”

  Sara grimaced as she crouched down in front of her. “I’m so sorry, Victoria.” She took Victoria’s face in her hands and kissed her cheek. “I would never leave you at Christmas. I . . .” She winced before her pained gaze slid to mine. “I heard some bad news and I didn’t want you to see me upset. But I never meant to worry you. Forgive me?” She pouted her lip at her daughter, drawing out a giggle.

  I’d known Sara was a mother from the beginning, but seeing her be a mother knocked the wind out of me. The soft way she spoke and the pure love in her eyes caught me right in the chest and made it real. Loving was who she was and thinking of what she’d gone through at the hands of her own mother made my blood boil.

  “Everything all right?” A man’s voice asked from behind us. His eyes bore into us as he crossed his inked arms, raising a brow as he looked between us.

  “Drew.” I extended my hand. “I’m a friend of Sara’s. You must be Josh.” His mouth flattened as he took it, still eyeing me as if he was sizing me up.

  “Drew?” Victoria’s head shot up with a gasp. “You’re the one who gave us the gift certificates. I got two Wonder Woman comics.”

  “Two, wow!” I knelt down before her. “I love a girl who loves comics. You must be Victoria. I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I should get your autograph.”

  She laughed. “I don’t know much about you. I know I saw your name on Mommy’s phone screen a lot.”

  I turned my head to Sara’s apologetic shrug. “Well, we should get to know each other then. Can I see the comics you bought?”

  “Yes! Stay here, I’ll be right back.” She scrambled down the hall, her brunette ponytail bobbing behind her.

  “She’s lovable,” Sara whispered.

  “I normally wouldn’t pry.” Josh ambled over to me, his jaw still tight. “But with the way Sara ran out, and now you’re here making friends with my daughter, I need to know if there’s going to be any more trouble.”

  “He didn’t cause the trouble.” Sara stepped in between us before letting out a long sigh. “I spoke to my family for the first time in nine years and . . . it didn’t go very well. I ran out so Victoria wouldn’t see me upset, and I called Drew from the car.” She slid her hand into mine and laced our fingers together.

  Josh grimaced as his shoulders relaxed. “I’m sorry, Sara. I wish you would have said something. You had us all worried.”

  “I’m so sorry.” A woman with long blonde hair wearing a red bathrobe came up to Sara and squeezed her shoulder. “That’s awful.”

  Sara nodded but kept her gaze on the floor. “It’s something I should be used to. My own fault.”

  “No,” I growled and gripped her hand tighter. “It’s not.”

  “Drew is right,” she agreed before turning toward me. “I’m Brianna. Nice to meet you.”

  I nodded a hello before Victoria rushed back in, holding her comics against her chest.

  “This one’s my favorite.” She pulled at the sleeve of my jacket before poking the cover. “Her hair looks so awesome. I want my hair long like that, so I can wear a tiara.” Her gushing was adorable. Sara was right, she was lovable as hell.

  “I guess every girl wants to be a princess, right?” I winked.

  She folded her arms and glared at me. “I want to be a princess with a sword who kicks ass.”

  “Victoria!” Sara scolded.

  “Not a nice word, Sweets.” Josh agreed but let a snicker slip out. “And this princess needs to get into bed, so Santa can come. Cookies are out, say goodnight.” He kissed the back of her head and pointed to her room.

  “But Drew just got here!” She yanked my hand and pulled me toward her.

  Sara smoothed the loose hairs around her face. “You’ll see him again soon, I promise.”

  “It’s pretty bad out there.” Brianna pulled back the curtains and made a whistling sound. “Why don’t you stay, Drew? I’ll make up the couch.”

  I held up my hands and shook my head. “I don’t want to impose on Christmas.”

  “Yes, stay! I have so many more comics to show you. And Mommy is making French Toast Casserole tomorrow morning. Please!” Victoria bounced up and down and looked between her parents.

  “It’s up to you guys. You’re more than welcome.” Josh came over to his wife but kept his gaze on us.

  “I’d hate to think of you driving in this when I dragged you out in the first place. Stay.” Sara’s eyes held mine, and she didn’t have to ask me twice.

  “Sure. I’ll stay.” Victoria hissed a “yes” as Sara’s lips curved into a slow grin.

  “Time for bed. Go get your pajamas on. I’ll be right in.” Sara kissed Victoria’s cheek and pointed down the hall.

  “Okay.” She grunted before turning to trudge to her bedroom. “Goodnight, Drew.” She tackled my legs with a hug. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Sweet dreams, kiddo.” I bent to return the hug, wishing her mother took to me this easily from the beginning.

  “How about us?” Josh pulled her back by the waist and kissed her cheek as she giggled. “Merry Christmas, Sweets. Get some sleep.”

  Brianna knelt to kiss her other cheek. “See you in the morning after Santa comes.”

  She grinned at them both before scurrying down the hall to her room.

  “I’ll go get you a pillow and some blankets.” Brianna smiled as she looked between us.

  “Thank you. This is nice of you to let me stay.”

  “No problem at all.” I cast a side glance to Sara before she followed Josh out of the living room.

  “They’re really nice.” I smirked and laughe
d when she jabbed me in the arm.

  “Sure, rub it in.” She leveled her eyes at me as she stepped closer.

  I cupped her neck and inched toward her. She stilled but relaxed before looping her arms around my neck.

  “You’re sure you want me here?” I dipped my chin until my eyes were level with hers. “I didn’t think we were up to sleepovers yet.”

  She nudged my shoulder. “I don’t want you to drive in this, and . . . it feels nice to have you here. I want you here. There, I said it.” Her lips pursed as she fought the twitching at the corners of her mouth—the same sweet mouth I’d tasted twenty minutes ago and wanted to again. The urge to pull her back to her car and drag her into the back seat was so powerful it was fucking blinding, but was our kiss a fluke? The last thing I wanted to do was push her and set us back.

  “I’ll be honest,” I whispered, our lips so close they brushed again. After starving for this woman all these months, I had a ravenous appetite but had to hold myself back. “I’m a little afraid that was some kind of spell,” I nodded outside, “and if I try to kiss you now, it’ll be broken.”

  “One way to find out.” Sara closed the distance between us, flicking the seam of my lips with her tongue. I let out a growl before I covered her mouth with mine. She tasted so damn good, she felt so good. My fingers threaded in her hair as I swallowed the soft moans traveling straight to my dick. I smiled against her lips when her body sagged against mine.

  “Did I just make you weak in the knees, Caldwell?”

  “Why are you such a damn good kisser?” she whined as I painted kisses along her jaw.

  How the hell was I going to sleep knowing she was close enough to touch—and that she’d let me? I’d have to summon that pain in the ass self-control I’d been exhausting all these months.

  “No going back now.” My thumb drifted along her swollen bottom lip, swollen from me. My chest swelled. “You know that, right?”

  “I hope not.” She pecked my lips and drifted her hands down my chest. “Merry Christmas, Drew.”

  I grazed my thumb across her lips and kissed her forehead. “Merry Christmas, Fire and Ice.”

  A sad smile lifted her cheeks. “Thank you, Drew. I don’t know what I would have done if you didn’t come—”

  “There was nowhere else for me to be.” I grabbed her hand, smiling at her gasp when my lips found the top of her wrist.

  She kissed my cheek before turning down the hall. “You wear me out, Kostas.”

  “And I think I’m in love with you, Caldwell,” I confessed when I was sure she was out of earshot.

  The couch was comfortable, but I couldn’t sleep a wink. The temptation to coax Sara out of her daughter’s room to finish what we started earlier consumed me. But I kept reminding myself that moving forward didn’t mean at warp speed. I still had the nagging feeling our kiss was the product of her heartbreak tonight, but there was no way for either of us to deny that constant undercurrent between us—not anymore. I couldn’t and wouldn’t push her, but she felt so damn good in my arms. I smiled to myself thinking of her slumped against me after I kissed her senseless. Now that I had a taste of Sara on the opposite side of the friend zone, I wanted her even more. Tossing and turning on the sea of blankets Brianna left out for me, I willed my mind and keyed up body to slow the fuck down before I squinted at a sudden flood of light.

  “Hey, sorry!” Josh whispered before setting down a toolbox in front of the couch. “I wanted to make sure Vic was in a dead sleep before I came out.” He tiptoed over to the love seat and slid a box out from behind it.

  “I thought this was the perfect place to hide this until the damn blanket kept sliding.” Josh laid all the metal pieces inside along the carpet.

  “New bike for Christmas?” I rolled up to sitting.

  “Yeah, this has been . . . well, it’s been a long year for her. A lot of adjustment. We came into her life, and her mom went away to school. I went overboard this Christmas, I guess.” He shrugged as he settled onto the floor and with a quick precision, had half the bike assembled before he even turned back to me.

  “You’re pretty quick,” I noted on a yawn. The day was catching up to me, the adrenaline pumping through my system finally subsiding and giving way to exhaustion.

  He snorted as he tightened one of the wheels. “I should be. I do this for a living. I run a custom motorcycle shop. When I get bored doing office crap I hang out in the garage and get my hands dirty.” His eyes darted to mine a couple of times, his mouth twisting with each glance as if a question was on the tip of his tongue.

  “How long have you and Sara been together?”

  “Oh, about . . .” I took a dramatic glimpse at my watch. “Four hours, maybe?” I laughed until he leveled his eyes at me. “We’ve been . . . good friends for a while. I didn’t expect that to change when I ran over here tonight, but—”

  “I’m glad you did,” Josh interrupted, still fixed on the almost finished bike. “She flew out of here and none of us knew what to think.”

  “Yeah.” I nodded, resting my elbows on my knees. “The second she called me, I grabbed my jacket and my keys and flew out of my aunt’s house. She . . . doesn’t usually ask for help—”

  “No shit,” Josh snickered, and I couldn’t help laughing with him.

  “For her to actually call me, it had to be pretty damn awful. I hate this for her. She’s . . . she doesn’t deserve it. Any of it. I know you all had your issues, but Sara is . . . so much more than what her parents made her believe. I didn’t know the half of it before tonight, but she’s had it pretty hard.”

  “We know that. She took care of Vic all alone all that time. I admire the shit out of her for it. I’m glad we moved past all of . . . well, I’m sure she filled you in. They both deserve a good Christmas, you know?”

  “Absolutely.” I offered a smile, still noting Josh’s intense stare, another unspoken question dangling between us.

  “You love her, don’t you?”

  “Yeah,” I admitted for the first time.

  “I thought so. Good. I’m happy I don’t have to have the ‘if you hurt either of them I’ll twist you like this bike’ speech.”

  I laughed and answered with a slow shake of my head. “Nope. You never have to worry about that. If she gave me a chance, I would—”

  “You have a chance right now.” He planted a bow on one of the handle bars before rising from the floor and lifting an eyebrow at me.

  “Now, the rest is up to you.”

  Sara

  THERE WAS NOTHING like waking up more exhausted than when you went to sleep. Christmas Eve drained me in every way possible. I laid on top of the air mattress, eyes wide open, since four o’clock. My weary mind replayed everything in full detail on a torturous repeat reel: my sister’s voice, my mother’s rejection, my kiss with Drew, my second kiss with Drew. I fought the urge to head into the living room and cuddle next to him on the couch for most of the night. I needed him and called for him. I never called for anyone, and my lack of hesitation scared the shit out of me.

  I shouldn’t have given into my feelings for Drew for so many reasons. He said he didn’t care about our age difference, and I knew he meant it. Maybe it’s just seven years, but right now at this point in our lives, it was a pretty damn significant amount of time. He was in grad school, starting his life with a clean slate and bright future. I was in a much better place than I was and would graduate with a lot more options, but I had a past and baggage that put us in completely different places in life. I hated referring to my daughter as baggage, but she would always come first. I would never be as free as other women because I came as a package.

  But, despite still feeling it was wrong, I didn’t regret kissing Drew. During all those hours awake, I tried to reason away my loss of inhibitions as a knee-jerk reaction of digging up old family wounds. Maybe that pushed me, but I wasn’t simply seeking comfort. I’d denied myself love for so many years because they made me believe I didn’t deserve it. I
missed out on so much in life, partially because of being a parent, but more because I never felt lovable. Drew made me feel lovable and sexy and wanted. Standing in the street in the middle of a snowstorm, I gave in with a kiss—and I didn’t want to stop.

  Careful not to wake Victoria, even though she’d be up any minute now, I crept out of bed and tiptoed into the hallway. I made my way into the kitchen, inching the refrigerator door open to grab the French Toast Casserole and pop it into the oven. I winced at the creak of the oven door as I shoved it in. As I waited for the oven to beep before I set the timer, I peered out the window behind the sink. Flurries still blew over the mounds of fresh snow, still white and pretty before the air got to it and it turned gray and dirty. Maybe it was a magical white Christmas after all.

  I jumped when a strong hand splayed across my stomach and pulled me back.

  “Merry Christmas,” Drew whispered in my ear before smoothing my hair to the side. He feathered soft kisses over the nape of my neck, my body going limp against him like a rag doll.

  “Merry Christmas to you, too,” I replied in a hoarse whisper. I felt his smile against my skin as he looped his arms around me.

  “How long do we have until everyone wakes up?” His lips dove into my neck, and it took everything I had not to loll my head to the side to give him more access.

  “Not long enough.” I elbowed his stomach and he dropped his head to my shoulder with a groan.

  I laughed as I craned my head. “I’m glad you’re here.” A slow grin stretched my cheeks as I took in the sight of him. His dark hair spiked in all different directions, his dark eyes still heavy with sleep. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  “Me too.” He kissed my cheek. “The couch was pretty comfortable. I’ll deal with my family later.”

  “They’re mad?” I winced as I turned around. “I’m so sorry—”

  “Stop.” He pressed a finger to my lips. “I called my aunt last night just to let her know I was staying over and I’d see them later. There was no way I wasn’t coming here last night. They aren’t mad, but I wouldn’t give a shit if they were.” He shrugged and pulled me closer. “You’re sexy in the morning.”