SEE YOU AT THE TOP

by Zig Ziglar

  Since you probably advise others to be a little more patient and allow more time to accomplish certain objectives, why don’t you take the advice Bill Gothard gives when he reminds us that God is not through with us? Bill explains that we are prescription babies made according to God’s formula. Next, he reminds us that if we are not satisfied with ourselves we should get back up on God’s easel and let Him finish the job.

  GOD DON’T SPONSOR NO FLOPS

  I love what Ethel Waters said at the Billy Graham revival in London several years ago. Someone expressed amazement and asked why Dr. Graham was getting such a tremendous response from thousands upon thousands of Britons. Ethel just smiled that big, beautiful smile of hers and answered, “Honey, God don’t sponsor no flops.”

  The late Mary Crowley, a well-known Dallas businesswoman and dedicated Christian, expressed it equally well when she said, “You are somebody because God doesn’t take time to make a nobody. And once you learn how much you matter to God, you don’t have to go out and show the world how much you matter.” Then, with a twinkle in her eye, she would smile and say, “God made man, took one look and said, ‘I can do better than that’—and made woman.” Speaking from the male side of the table, I agree with her one hundred percent.

  Now that we’ve partially completed your personal inventory, you definitely like yourself better, don’t you? (Careful now—don’t get smug about it.)

  STEP TWO. When you make up and dress up, you look up. Fridays and Saturdays, and the day before any significant holiday, are busy days in the beauty salons of America. A friend and associate of mine many years ago said that when women come out of a beauty salon, they “walk proud.”

  Research clearly indicates that the way we look has a definite bearing on the way we feel, as far as our self-image and self-confidence are concerned. Both men and women feel more confident when they know their appearance is good. That new dress or suit sometimes works wonders, and it is well established that a beautiful new permanent or hairdo, combined with facial makeup, truly makes a woman feel more at ease with herself, more confident in whatever she is doing, and, in general, good about herself. Men often feel the same way. They are just more inclined to deny it.

  In my own family, when my wife, daughters, granddaughters, or daughter-in-law return from the beauty salon, they smile a little more broadly, have a tendency to laugh more at little incidents and funnies, and just seem to enjoy life more. Yes, that self-image of ours does have a bearing on many facets of our lives, because it carries over in the way we deal with other people, including not only our families but friends and associates.

  More and more, this phenomenon is being observed in nursing and retirement homes across the country. Management recognizes that when the residents are in a good mood, the chances of keeping them and expanding their business are greatly enhanced. Not only that, but the residents are easier to deal with and have fewer problems. For this reason, many nursing and retirement homes schedule events and even bring in makeover artists, conduct beauty pageants, and (particularly for women) make certain they have an opportunity, at least periodically, to get “all dolled up” and look their best.

  Yes, our appearance does have a direct bearing on the way we feel about ourselves, so step number two is to make up and dress up. That way you’ll get up, look up, and in many cases make it easier for you to move up—not only in your personal life, but also in your business and family life.

  There is more than a little truth in the following little “funny.” A lady was speeding with her husband at her side when a motorcycle policeman pulled her over. She lowered her window and the policeman said, “I’m going to put you down for 55.” She smilingly turned to her husband and said, “See, I told you this new hairdo makes me look younger!” I hope you got a little smile out of that, but my purpose is to remind you that an improved appearance makes you smile. And it makes others smile with you.

  Every husband in America says his wife is happier, friendlier, and more productive after she has gotten all dolled up in a new outfit. Teachers will tell you that both Johnny and Mary put their best foot forward when they show up for school in new clothes. Jim Moore and Joe Graham, principals at Calhoun High School in Port Lavaca, Texas, and Bay City High School in Bay City, Texas, as well as many others, verify this by pointing out that conduct is considerably better on “picture taking day” when the students “dress up.” The cliche that clothes don’t make the man is another of those half-truths that creates problems— especially if you grab the wrong half. The truth is, your outward appearance does affect your image and your performance. The outside appearance is enhancing—or crippling—the potential of the person on the inside. Employers note that employees do better work, all other things being equal, when they are neatly or sharply dressed. Even the computers agree with this. A six-year study of two identical groups of male managers revealed that computer-dressed businessmen earned $4,000 a year more than their counterparts, held better positions, and were more enthusiastic about their work.

  So to improve your self-image, make up or dress up the outside.

  Throughout the rest of this book I will make reference to this fact, particularly in the areas of goal-setting, attitudes, and habits. In the Attitude and Habit segments the “how to” of creating that physical change will be examined.

  STEP THREE. Regularly read “Horatio Alger” stories. Read the biographies and the autobiographies of men and women who used what they had and got a great deal out of life by making contributions to life. It would be difficult, if not impossible, to read the life stories of Henry Ford, Martin Luther King, Jr., Mary Kay Ash, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, Mary Crowley, Andrew Carnegie, Booker T. Washington, etc., and not be inspired. Read the story of Ertha White, daughter of an ex-slave, which appeared in the December, 1974, issue of Reader’s Digest, and you will be inspired to be more and do more. We read about others succeeding, we visualize ourselves doing the same thing.

  STEP FOUR. Listen to the speakers, teachers, and preachers who build mankind. When you hear people like Colin Powell, Fred Smith, Paul Harvey, John Maxwell, Mamie McCullough, and Naomi Rhode, you will get a lift in many ways. I’ll say more about this in the Attitude segment of the book. As a rule of thumb, you are safe to assume that any book, speaker, movie, TV program, individual or recording that builds mankind will build you and your self-image.

  STEP FIVE. Build a healthy self-image with a series of short steps. One reason many people never attempt new things is their fear of failure. If possible, start any new venture with a phase or portion you are confident you can handle, then transfer that initial accomplishment from one area of success to another. The child who multiplies 2 X 2 transfers that to bigger success and multiplies 3 X 4, 5 X 6, etc. He or she then sees himself or herself as being capable of mastering mathematics. The child who “survives” the first batch of oatmeal cookies “sees” himself as being capable of baking better things.

  The high jumper who is capable of clearing six feet starts each session with the bar considerably lower and gradually moves up to higher levels. At Calhoun High School in Port Lavaca, Texas, a high jumper taking this approach jumped four inches higher than ever before and set the national record. This occured after our “I CAN” course for schools was introduced. The young man credited an improvement in self-image with his improvement in performance. As he “warms up,” he “sees” himself successfully clearing the lower heights until he “sees” himself successfully clearing greater ones. The point I wish to make in building your healthy self-image is this: Start in an area where you know you can succeed. Once success is accomplished there, move another step, and another, and another. Each step gives you added confidence and your self-image improves your performance, which improves your self-image, which improves performance, which improves . . . (Harvard psychologist David McClelland calls this “accomplishment feedback.”)

  In the sales training world we have simulated or practice runs in the training room before we send
a salesman out to make his first call. We know if our fledgling salesman goofs or has a “sales wreck” in the classroom, the experience won’t be shattering because very little is at stake. In addition, we will urge him to practice on his family and in front of the mirror. The late Maxwell Maltz called this “practice without pressure” because the salesman had nothing to lose.

  One sensible word of caution about self-confidence is appropriate at this point. Remember, if you have been making an overdraft on the bank of confidence all of your life, you cannot realistically expect to bring your account up to date in one day or by reading this book just one time. The longer and more regularly you take the necessary steps and follow the recommended procedures, the bigger your account in the confidence bank of a healthy self-image, and the bigger the confidence account, the greater the accomplishment.

  STEP SIX. Join the smile and compliment club. When you smile at people and they smile back, you automatically feel better (and it definitely increases your “face” value). Even if they don’t smile back, you will feel better because you know the most destitute person in the world is the one without a smile. You immediately become richer by giving that person yours. Ditto for the compliment. When you sincerely compliment a person or extend him a courtesy, he is going to receive a direct benefit and like himself better. It is impossible for you to make someone feel better and not feel better yourself.

  One of the best ways to make anyone else feel better is to spread optimism and good cheer. You can do this almost instantly in your daily exchanges with associates and family. When someone says, “Hi, how ya doing?” give them a big, cheerful “Super good—but I’ll get better” or “Better than good!” If you don’t feel that good, it’s safe to say you want to feel that way and even safer to say that if you claim the feeling you will soon have the feeling. In the Attitude segment you will learn why this is true.

  Another way to make someone feel better is to “properly” answer the phone. Many people answer the telephone with a gruff “Hello,” or an even more gruff “Yes!” as if the caller had committed a dastardly sin by calling you. My personal approach is this: When I answer the telephone at home, I answer it by singing a little ditty, “Oh, good morning to you,” or I might say, “Howdy-Howdy-Howdy,” or “Good morning, this is Jean Ziglar’s happy husband,” or “Good morning, we’re having a great day at the Ziglar’s and hope you are too.” I do this because that is generally the way I feel. Again, the reason is simple. If I don’t feel well, but act that way, I will soon feel that way. Also, I have a responsibility to the person who is calling. If I am optimistic and cheerful, the chances are much stronger that I will give a lift to the person calling, and the truth of the matter is, I am my brother’s keeper. The Bible says, “A merry heart hath a continual feast” and this approach guarantees a “merry heart.”

  At our company our receptionists answer the telephone just as enthusiastically by saying, “Good morning, it’s a great day at Ziglar Training Systems Network.”

  I’m convinced that everyone, including you, just naturally feels better when exposed to a cheerful, optimistic individual, almost regardless of the nature or length of the contact.

  STEP SEVEN. Do something for someone else. Visit a shut-in or someone in the hospital. Bake a cake for an invalid. Participate in a reading or visitation program for the aged or senile. Go shopping for a shut-in. Baby sit for a young mother who needs to get out of the house. Spend a few minutes on a regular basis teaching a functional illiterate to read. Become a volunteer with the Red Cross, or a den mother, or help little ones cross a dangerous intersection to and from school. Be a big brother to an orphan. Take some fatherless kids on a hike in the woods or spend time with them in a guidance role. For a hundred different ideas and suggestions along these lines, let me urge you to read Try Giving Yourself Away by David Dunn. There are two major considerations you must make, however. You must accept no compensation, and the person or persons you assist should not be in a position to do anything for you in return.

  This I guarantee. If you will do something for someone who is unable to return the favor, you will get a lot more than you can possibly give. In so many cases, what you give will mean much to the recipient, but the feeling you get when you do something for someone who cannot do for himself is indescribable. You will realize that you are truly fortunate, that you do have a lot to be thankful for, that you can make a contribution, and that you are, in fact, somebody. In short, you will stand tall in your own eyes, which is the bonus you get because you took what you had and unselfishly used it for someone else’s good. Charles Dickens said it best: “No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else.”

  STEP EIGHT. Be careful of your associates. Deliberately associate with people of a high moral character who look on the bright side of life, and the benefits will be enormous. As an example, I’m convinced that if every doctor, teacher, lawyer, policeman, politician, civil service employee, military person, etc., had to sell for a living for three months and then had to attend an enthusiastic sales meeting once a week, our great country would be even greater. Over the years I have seen hundreds of men and women from all walks of life enter the sales world as shy, introverted, incompetent individuals and within a matter of weeks become confident, competent, and far more productive people. Here’s why. In many cases these people had lived in a negative environment, surrounded by people who dumped negative garbage into their minds and told them what they could not do. Their entry into the sales world meant a dramatic change in environment and associates. Now everyone started telling them what they could do. They heard positive statements from trainers, managers, and associates. They saw daily results on all sides as a result of this approach. Since it was more fun and more profitable for them to like themselves, they almost immediately started changing their self-image.

  My point is this. If every person were regularly exposed to this kind of environment and to people like this, just think what it would do to their self-image and to their attitude. Obviously, we can’t require others to change their associates, but you can choose to associate with people like this. Do it and the results will be fantastic. Pick out those people who are optimistic and enthusiastic about life and I’ll guarantee you some of it will “rub off” on you. Remember, you acquire much of the thinking, mannerisms, and characteristics of the people you are around. This is true whether the people around you are good or bad. Even your IQ could be affected by your environment and associates. July 1976, Success Unlimited, tells the story. In a kibbutz in Israel, evaluations revealed that the average IQ of the Oriental Jewish children was 85 compared to 115 for the European Jewish children. This “proves” that the European Jewish children were “smarter” than the Oriental Jewish children—or does it? After four years in the kibbutz, where the environment was positive, the motivation excellent, and the dedication to learning and growth substantial, the average IQ leveled off to the same thing—115. That’s exciting. When you associate with the “right” people with a positive, moral outlook on life, you greatly enhance your chances of winning.

  Unfortunately, your associates also affect you negatively. A youngster (and adults too) who associates with others who smoke is far more likely to take up the habit than he would if he ran with a non-smoking group. The same is true for drug usage, drinking, immorality, profanity, lying, cheating, stealing, etc. Fortunately, you can choose your associates.

  STEP NINE. To build your self-image, make a list of your positive qualities on a card and keep it handy for reference. Ask your friends to list the things they like about you and keep that list handy. As you and your friends make that list you might get to be like “this old boy down home.” He was walking down the street talking to himself and someone stopped and asked him why he did this. He replied that he enjoyed talking to intelligent people, and, more importantly, he enjoyed listening to intelligent people talk. I’d say he had a healthy self-image. Brag on yourself from time to time. Get in your own co
rner.

  STEP TEN. Make a victory list to remind you of your past successes. The list should include those things that gave you the most satisfaction and confidence. This list should extend from childhood to the present time. It can cover everything from whipping the school bully to making an “A” in a difficult course. As you periodically review this list, you will be reminded that you have succeeded in the past and that you can do it again. This builds confidence, which builds image, which builds success, happiness, etc. Actually, these last two steps reaffirm the fact that you are for you instead of against you.

  As you make your list, please remember many of the qualities so vital for the balanced success we are talking about do not show up on the talent educational charts. Think in terms of your dependability, stickability, and availability for service. Accept as fact that you can be just as honest as anyone, just as conscientious, and just as dedicated. Know that you too can work as hard and that you can pray as hard. Know also that you are loved by God as much as anyone else.

  STEP ELEVEN. To build a healthy self-image, there are some things you must avoid. Pornography is the primary one. Literally everything that goes into your mind has an effect and is permanently recorded. It either builds and prepares you for the future or it tears down and reduces your accomplishment possibilities for that future. Psychologists say that three viewings of Austin Powers, American Pie, South Park, Eyes Wide Shut, or any of the “X-rated” films or television programs has the same psychological, emotional, destructive impact in your mind as one physical experience. The people who have seen these “shows” are in agreement; they were sexually stimulated and viewed themselves with less respect. The reason is simple. These films or programs present mankind at its worst, and when you see your fellow man degraded, you, in effect, see yourself degraded. It is impossible to view mankind at its worst and not feel that your own value has diminished, and you can neither be nor do any better than you think you are or can. Ironically, most X-rated films are advertised as “adult” entertainment for “mature” audiences. Most psychologists agree they are juvenile entertainment for immature and insecure audiences.