Nice Guys Don't Finish Last

by Brown, Chavez

  “No, we’re cool.”

  “Well back to what I was saying initially, I’m going to be very honest with you,” she said as I genuinely listened. “I don’t agree with your homosexual lifestyle--.”

  “Ms. Bridget, I don’t think this is the appropriate time to---.”

  “Wait, let me finish,” she said as I shut my mouth to listen carefully.

  “I don’t agree with your homosexual lifestyle, but it has been brought to my attention how much you two really love each other. If Abdul pulls through, which I’m sure he will, I hope you two set your differences aside & try to work on it. Prayerfully, this will open your eyes & help you see that we must forgive those who hurt us, especially when we want to be forgiven ourselves. I think what you should do right now is… pray.”

  “But I don’t know how to pray, Ms. Bridgett. I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

  “Yes you do, you can pray right now,” she insisted as I looked at her like she was crazy.

  “Oh no, I’d rather not. I don’t even know where to begin. People would look at me like I’m crazy in here.”

  “Baby, are these people going to forgive you & determine whether or not Abdul makes it?”

  “Well, they can determine if he makes it,” I said sarcastically.

  “No, God decides if he makes it or not. The doctors are just the messengers, don’t you ever forget that,” she smiled with warmth. The advice was so simple, yet hard to swallow.

  “Praying isn’t about being on bended knees with your palms clapped together; you can sit there with your eyes closed in silence while praying. For starters, you can ask God to forgive you for taking your blessings for granted. Ask Him to help save your partner,” she said rubbing my hands with an angelic smirk on her face. This is the first time someone preached and I didn’t resist it. Not even my own mother could tell me anything about religion without me throwing a fit. Ms. Bridget opened my eyes to the things I’ve done wrong. Honestly, I never knew White people were into church like that.

  “Thank you so much, you’re allowing me to view things in a different light,” I grabbed to hold.

  “Your welcome, Nicolas! Now close your eyes, and ask Him for forgiveness,” she said as I closed my eyes and began to think about the first time Abdul and I met.

  ….

  It was the steamy summer of 2006, and Deja invited me to her friend’s social gathering held at the condos in the Westview area. The scenery was filled with down-low brothers, beautiful thin girls & a large bucket of fried chicken.

  “What’s wrong boo? Are you ready to go,” she whispered.

  “I mean, if you want to stay then we can. I don’t want to be inconsiderate,” I said.

  “I mean, we can go if you want to,” she insisted.

  “I am fine,” I said as I sat there watching everyone in the house play Taboo. The blue team was whipping the red team’s ass, and I got irritated every time the leader on the blue team won a round because he was happy to answer correctly. He seemed cocky and was a “know-it-all”, which turned me off.

  “He is so cute,” Deja said.

  “Yeah, he’s okay. He is getting on my nerves,” I said while I watched him laugh with a drink in his hand.

  “Why,” she laughed.

  “Because he’s laughing too loud and thinks he knows everything.”

  “You only mad because he beat you in that first game. He is cute and you know it.”

  “No, he’s alright. I don’t see the big deal,” I said.

  “Well, he looks exactly like your type. Very attractive, boyish & a tall,” she said.

  “Deja, I’m taller than him. How is he a nice height?”

  “No you are not! I say you go ahead and talk to him,” she declared.

  “I said no, I’m not interested bitch!”

  “Well fine, he will know when I inform him myself. Because I know you, and you want to talk to him deep down inside,” she insisted.

  “Okay you go ahead and tell lie to that boy and he’s going to get his precious feelings hurt.”

  “What are you two talking about,” the guy asked while Deja winked at me and began to walk away.

  “Ummm, where do you think you are going miss,” I asked.

  “I just realized I need to fix my make-up, so you two go ahead and talk,” she lied patting her face with her fingers as I flared my nose up at her in disgust.

  “Hi,” I said to him irritably.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “I see you are very competitive. You beat the game six times,” I said.

  “No, I wouldn’t consider myself competitive. Just followed the rules and played the game. I could tell you were mad at me though,” he said.

  “No, I wasn’t mad at you. I don’t even know you,” I insisted.

  “Uh huh. Are you having fun,” he asked.

  “Yeah, it’s cool. But my best friend and I are leaving when she gets out the bathroom.”

  “Already? You two should stay longer, I wanted to talk to you,” he said.

  “We’re talking right now,” I said.

  “No, but you’re about to leave. So our time will be cut short,” he said looking in my eyes.

  “Why do you want to talk to me,” I asked.

  “Because I’ve never seen you before! You must be younger than everyone in here.”

  “I’m eighteen, but I’ll be nineteen in two weeks.”

  “Oh okay. When is your birthday,” he asked.

  “July 7th,” I answered.

  “Oh okay, you’re a Cancer. That was my mom’s birthday, so I will never forget that.”

  “Oh really. Why you say was,” I asked.

  “She passed when I was younger,” he said as my heart dropped.

  “I am so sorry to hear that, I can’t imagine what that feels like,” I said.

  “It’s okay, man. I am a Pieces.”

  “Oh I can’t get into that zodiac shit,” I said.

  “Oh really?”

  “No, I can’t. How old are you,” I asked.

  “I just turned 21 in March,” he said.

  “Oh, so someone is legal,” I laughed.

  “Yeah, so do you have a name Mr. Birthday Boy?”

  “Yes, my name is Nico. And yours?”

  “Nico? That’s different, I like it. My name is Abdul.”

  “Nice to meet you, Abdul.”

  “My pleasure babe, are you single?”

  “Where are you from? Because you have a southern accent,” I asked.

  “I’m from Atlanta. But you didn’t answer my question,” he said.

  “Yeah, I knew you were from somewhere else because I know people in Baltimore don’t talk like that,” I laughed.

  “You keep changing the subject,” he said.

  “No, I’m not. But I see my best friend leaving out the bathroom, so I’ll talk to you later, Abdul,” I said walking away from him.

  “Wait, you didn’t give me your number,” he shouted. “If you really want it, you’ll find it,” I shouted.

  That same night, I got a request from him on MySpace, and he left message stating he knew he’d find me and insisted I gave him my number. I loved how persistent he was, and that he didn’t give up on me, so we started dating… now it’s been three years.

  ….

  “Nico, are you finished praying,” Ms. Bridget said snapping her finger in my face.

  “Yes, I’m finished.”

  “Delmar & the Chocolate Factory”

  The room was dark, and I could feel him practically hovering over top of me. I could only see his shadow reflecting from the window, as he pulled my pants off while sucking on my neck. He was so aggressive, I didn't want to express how uncomfortable the position felt because I was afraid he would beat me up if I said one word.

  "Give me that boy pussy, yo! Give me that boy pussy," the boy repeated as he roughly played with my ass, and flipped me on top of him. He was hood, and I loved every bit of it. His body was so slim, yet muscular and
those hips thrust between my glorious thighs.

  "Yo, turn around," he flipped me on my stomach & climbed on my back. He later pulled out a bottle of lotion and stroked it on his raw penis.

  "Don't you think we need some condoms & lube," I asked.

  "What? My dick is too sensitive for condoms & lube is bullshit, mane. Be quiet, before I get soft," he said aggressively.

  "I mean... I'm just say---"

  "Shut up, and give me that boy pussy," he whispered as he pushed his penis in my round ass as if it was a vagina. "Ouuuccchhhh," I screamed. "Move back."

  "What? I'm trynna break you in, your hole is small as shit yo."

  "But you can't just jam it in there like I’m a girl, Deandre."

  "Man, come on with this electoring shit."

  "Huh, do you mean lecturing," I asked.

  "Yeah, man whatever! I'm just here to fuck, not to learn English," he said.

  "And apparently you're here to learn how to fuck too," I laughed.

  "What? You gon' make me knock that smile off your face," he yelled.

  "It's not that serious, just vibe with me," I said as I grabbed his thin penis and stroked it with my hand from the back. I rubbed some of the Avon lotion into my anus to become wetter, and inserted his penis slowly and felt a tear in my anus as he grinded in & out full circle. We began to move in a circular motion, as my body introduced me to an appreciation for the wood. I pushed him off of me, and hopped on him to ride. I vaguely saw his face, but the moans & groans declared it was satisfying!

  "This is the best piece of ass I've ever had," he said as I took control of the situation and began to think about Abdul wearing the ass out. I can imagine how lovely it would be if he pounced on this ass one good time. The more I could picture Abdul's face, the wilder the sex grew with Deandre, the headboard from the bed slammed into his wall repeatedly and he screamed loudly---

  "Wait a minute... what was that," he asked.

  "What was what," I asked.

  "That stuff on me," he said.

  "What are you talking about," I asked.

  "It's on my pelvis and thighs," he said as I touched his pelvic area and around my assets, and realized I defecated on his penis. Lord, dump me in a coffin & bury me now!

  “I become so numb featuring Abdul”

  It felt like someone super-glued my eyelids together because it was war trying to unclutter them. When they finally opened, the sun pierced my pupils through the blinds. The wide framed windows were much bigger than mine at home; it became apparent I was elsewhere. Restraint caused my sore neck to move slowly, where I saw my body dressed in a white & blue polka dot hospital bed. The wristband sliced through my hand, sharp enough to sever it.

  I turned my head sideways & noticed Nico sleeping in the chair across from me. I vaguely remember what happened prior to my bedridden state. However, the image of a guy's head being blown off his shoulders flashes my memory.

  "Nic," I tried to whisper, but the words barely escaped my mouth. "Nico, Nico," I whispered but he remained asleep. "NICOLAS", I yelled and it hurt my throat. But he eventually woke rose from the dead.

  "Abdul, oh my God! Are you alright? Do you need anything, are you cool, are you good," he sped his phrases together like a Nascar relay.

  "I can't really feel my body, and it's hard for me to speak," I whispered. "How long have I been in here," I asked. "For five days, I've been sitting here the entire time waiting for you to awake," he smiled.

  "Why aren't you at the studio? You know Roger would kill you," I whispered.

  "Roger---uuhhh,” his eyes watered.

  "Roger what," I whispered.

  "He died in a car accident the same night you were shot," he cried smothering his face in the palms of his hands. Death is a constant entity in my life and it never fails hit rock bottom.

  "Baby, I am so sorry to hear that. I know how important he is to you, and I know that death is one of the hardest things for you to deal with."

  "Yeah, but his wife really helped me see that everything will be alright. She even helped me pray that you will make it, and thank God you're talking to me right now," he said as he wiped his tears from his face.

  "Wow, how did she get you to do that? No one can get you to pray," I asked.

  "I know! And it shows that He is real," he said.

  "Of course He is; I've always told you that."

  "We have to get you out of this hospital, I was so scared. I still am, do you remember anything that happened," he asked scooting his chair over to the bed to rub my head.

  "I remember bits & pieces, the image of the cashier getting his head blown off by a robber is vibrant," I said.

  "Oh my God, that is horrible," his eyes lit. "Do you remember anything after that?"

  "No, I really don't. I think I may have tried to fight one of the guys, and he shot me."

  "Well, everything is still unclear to us. But the guys got away, I believe."

  "Hmmm, those bastards!"

  "Well, good thing you are still alive," he said kissing me on my forehead, as I internally thanked God for answering my prayers & revealing a softer side to Nico. His eyes were spacy, and his fragile body appeared even smaller than usual maybe from worry. If I have to get shot for him to love me more, then I would do this again?

  "Can I come in," a doctor knocked on the door.

  "Of course, you can," I said.

  "So it's great to see you are up, we weren't sure if you would recover quickly. How are you feeling," he asked.

  "I'm okay, but I can't feel parts of my body," I said.

  "Is it okay if we talked in private please," the doctor asked Nico.

  "Of course not, go ahead and talk. I'm about to go to the vending machine, do you want anything," Nico asked.

  "Yeah, can you get me a granola bar & bottled water please. And try to get my phone from someone who may have my belongings, if it still works," I laughed in a whisper.

  "Okay," Nico said closing the door.

  "Mr. Monroe, the bullet hit a serious nerve in your chest that we seriously question," the doctor said.

  "What do you mean seriously question," I asked.

  "We don't think you will be able to function properly and you may have to stay in the hospital for a while," he said.

  "Why,” I asked.

  "Because the bullet hit a main artery & your lungs collapsed."

  "So what does that mean?”

  “It means you may never walk again.”

  “What? Like is there any physical therapy to help me walk," I asked.

  "It is possible, but no guarantee since there is no feeling in your right side. But with progress, who knows what could happen. Don't quote me though, because I don't want you to have hope for something that can't be fixed."

  "Oh, it will be fixed. Believe me, it will," I insisted.

  "One Missed Text Message Featuring Nico"

  The vending machine stared at me, while I gazed around like a little girl in Toys-r-Us for the first time. My mind was flustered with many thoughts that I couldn't even decide if I wanted a honey bun versus a butterscotch krimpet. Butterscotch krimpets were Roger’s favorite, and I could not wrap my head around the fact that he was gone.

  Roger is undoubtedly in Heaven gazing downstairs shouting "Nico, I want you to kill this industry and remain humble". But I am absent-minded without him. He pushed me into this business, assisted with exposure on the stage, abetted back-up gigs for Maxwell & Ledisi, and believed in my songwriting skills when others doubted me.

  Who is going to be that person to drive me when I have writer's block? Who's going to help me reach that note I psyched myself & thought I couldn't hit? Who else is going to be that father figure in my life? Who is going to be all of these things?

  "Excuse me, bro... are you getting something from the machine because I'm trynna get something for my girl," a bald head slim guy wearing a five extra-large Enyce shirt said. What was worse between him interrupting my interpersonal thoughts or the brown decay
on his two front teeth!

  "Naw, go ahead. I don't know what I want anyway," I said blowing animosity in the air.

  "Good lookin' out, man," he said. After he vacated, I purchased a Nature Valley granola bar & Deer Park water. The front desk was approximately three feet away from the vending machine, which made the search for his belongings less demanding.

  I walked towards the desk as a white obese woman ahead of me signed her name on the pad, after failed attempts of speaking to the unprofessional nurse sitting before us. She had the audacity to have a personal phone call, while clients stood in front of her.

  “Is there something you need help with,” the nursed asked the woman while cupping the office phone with her hand.

  “Yes, I am Mrs. Williamson, and my husband Thomas Williamson just passed,” the woman cried.

  “Okay,” the nurse answered irritably.

  “And I need to pick up his things,” she responded with snot bubbles gyrating down her nose.

  “Well I need you to sign your name on this sheet, ma’am,” the nurse snapped.

  “She already did that! If you were not on the phone the entire time, then you would know that,” I yelled.

  “Well, I had to find a babysitter for my two kids sir. Is there anything I can help you with,” she said.

  “Yes, help this kind lady first,” I said undermining the fire boiling in my chest.

  “Thank you,” the woman whispered to me as I smiled.

  “No problem.”

  Ten minutes had past, and the nurse sat in the chair without assisting me after helping the lady.

  "Excuse me, excuse me," I yelled.

  "Hold on, girl,” she whispered on the phone. How can I help you," the nurse said slamming the phone down.

  “I’ve been standing here for almost fifteen minutes, and you have yet to help me.”

  “I’m sorry, what’s the patient’s name,” she asked nonchalantly.

  "Abdul Monroe."

  "And who are you," the nurse asked.

  "I'm his friend, why does it matter! Is there a paper I need to sign to retreive it?"

  "Just sign here please," she said popping her gum in the air and rolling her neck, I was ready to leap over that desk and rip her tongue out of her mouth.