Nice Guys Don't Finish Last

by Brown, Chavez

  “So, what’s the truth?”

  “Your father is expecting a child with another woman, and I refuse to deal with another woman’s baby in my house,” she cried removing herself from the sofa and ran to the bathroom next to the kitchen.

  “Dad is this true,” I asked as he looked stared me in the face, and there was no soul in his eyes. I’ve never witnessed my dad look so weak & expressionless. This wasn’t the guy I’ve always admired for his encouraging words; nor the person who would try to tell me not to live in sin. But he committed one of the biggest sins in the book, so what does that make him?

  “Well, what are you going to do about this? What about the church,” I asked, and he remained silent.

  It was almost like talking to a ghost, his body was there, but his mind & spirit wasn’t present.

  My mother walked back in the dining room with tissue in her hand, and I felt for her the most. She supported him since she was seventeen years old, and put her dreams aside to be his wife. She’s beautiful, driven & strong… what a fat ass slap in the face, dad! Why are guys never satisfied? He done dropped the nuclear bomb on our heads, and now we are going to be scrutinized for his actions.

  As quick as a church can fill up, the quicker they will stop attending. All it takes is for one rumor to float around for the folks to judge you, and they’ll stop coming. Despite receiving a great word about the Lord, they will think it’s rather hypocritical listening to someone not practicing what they preach.

  What am I going to do with a new brother or sister? Especially by a woman I know shit about. A few years ago, my mother wanted to have another child with him & he expressed they were too old to have more kids. I know she wants to rip his head off!

  “Will you answer him? That’s the least you can do,” she said to my father.

  “I want you two to know that I love you so very much. If we have to pray about this together, then we will. But I don’t believe in divorces, no matter how ugly things are,” he expressed to the both of us, but she didn’t want to hear that. It was obvious she wanted a separation or divorce, not him! I believe in fighting a good fight, but we must also be honest with ourselves.

  “Ma, do you think you could give it another chance,” I asked, while she smiled at me.

  “Delmar, your father has been cheating on me, since we’ve been together. I prayed each & every time, lifting my hands to Him, and asking if I should move forward in this Christian life! The prayers always led me back to your father. But this new baby has put the icing on the cake,” she said as everything I believed this family to be was completely thrown out of the window. It felt like the first time I found out Santa Claus didn’t exist.

  ….

  I spent that entire night tossing & turning in my bed, trying to understand the startling news I’ve heard earlier. How could I go to church the next day & pretend that nothing is wrong in our personal lives? The rumors will fly around just like Pastor Franklin being exposed for sleeping with the stripper at the Gentleman’s Club. This is a scandal my family does not need, I know for a fact the ‘Boars’ name will be blighted! I can’t stop banging my head into the pillows wishing I could make my father undue the pain he has caused. But I have no control over that, and it drives me crazy. Can someone please tell me what happens next?

  “Learning to Compromise Featuring Abdul”

  The rain clashed against the top of the roof, as Ms. Pat pulled out sheets & a comforter from the hallway closet for me to sleep on an air mattress in her computer room; while Nico stayed in his old bedroom with a king size bed. It always made Ms. Pat uncomfortable to observe two people of the same sex in love with each other, so sleeping in the same room let alone bed with Nico was no exception. I could tell she didn’t really want me to stay with her, and the feeling was mutual.

  “How are you feeling, Abdul,” she asked.

  “There are better days, but I will sleep on it.” “You will sleep on it, huh? Well, I just want to tell you

  like this. We don’t have the best relationship, but you’re in my house & as long as you stay here, I’d like for the both of us to communicate better than we do. Leave our differences aside,” she genuinely said reaching her arms out to me standing there in a tank top & tight jeans. I wasn’t sure if this was an empathetic speech from her considering the consequences, but it was only right to wrap my arms around her small waist & hug her back. For her to be twice my age, she had an unbelievable hourglass figure with hips that could cut your fingers. She’s a very beautiful woman, that’s where Nico inherited his looks. She definitely has strong genes!

  “I’m down for that, compromise is the key, rite,” I whispered in her ear, still embracing her body against mine. I’ve never felt so welcomed by her, although she helped me get my job at the detention center. She never showed me this much respect.

  “Rite! I’m about to go to bed, do you need anything before I leave the room,” she asked.

  “No ma’am, I’m fine.”

  “Okay, well goodnight dear,” she said walking towards the door to leave.

  “Goodnight, Ms. Pat! Thanks again for letting me stay here.”

  “My pleasure,” she said leaving out the room & closing the door behind her.

  I lied on the uncomfortable air mattress, which shift each time I rolled over to the other side and could not stop thinking about Milo. During rough times, I would lay on the love seat & he’d accompany me with his child-like behaviors. It’s a battle imagining him in the fire, and being so helpless where the only thing he could do was sit there & bark. I am to blame for neglecting him in the house, and thinking I could walk on my own outside. I should have listened to Nico, and stayed in the house. None of this would have ever happened man.

  “Are you still up,” Nico whispered slowly opening the door.

  “Yeah, I can’t sleep,” I said. As he tip-toed over to the air mattress and lied down with me, climbing underneath my arms.

  “I don’t like being in that big bed by myself,” he whined.

  “Why not? It was yours before we moved in together,” I said.

  “I guess with everything that has happened today. I don’t really want to be alone,” he responded.

  “Awww baby, I know. This has been a crazy day, I was just thinking about Milo.”

  “Yeah, I thought about him too and all of our clothes, those flat screens & my piano,” he said as I grew annoyed about him bringing up materialistic things.

  “I wonder why no one told you about Ms. Bridget,” I changed the subject.

  “I know it’s so sad. Just to think her husband died at the end of March and she passed at the beginning of May. I feel sorry for the kids,” he said.

  “Did Roland even tell you what happened?”

  “Yeah, when you & my mother were in the hallway, he told me she died in her sleep. She was his aunt.”

  “Wow, at least she’s back with Roger,” I said with attempts to be optimistic about the situation.

  “I agree,” he said as he looked up to kiss me. I rolled on top of him, and began to suck on his nipples as he flipped me over & straddled me down. He sucked on my neck, grinding his ass between my dick causing it to erect. The intensity emerged on the air mattress, as we both tussled with each other & kissed roughly as our underwear flew in the air. My back was the last thing on my mind; I was ready to get a nut in while I threw him around and prepared to eat between his assets.

  “Bring your ass over here,” I whispered wrapping my hands around his thighs face down, and lifted him in the air to gobble inside. He struggled to contain himself and tried to crawl away from me, but I refused to let him escape from me like a chicken with his head cut off. He grabbed the edge of the bed pulling his upper body away from me, as I gripped his thighs tighter than before and he fought against me.

  “Abdul, let go,” he whispered like he wanted me to continue, but stopped at the same time. I didn’t want to let him go, and he pushed my chest facing forward & accidently flew out of the bed crashing
the floor. The uproar competed with the thunder outside, that it was no doubt his mother would come storming in the room as he hid on the side of bed.

  “What was that noise,” Ms. Tanya asked wearing nothing but a pink bath robe standing in the doorway.

  “Nothing, I just rolled over & fell off the bed. I may have to put some more air in it.”

  “Oh okay, would you like me to help you,” she asked.

  “Oh no, I got it. You can go back to sleep,” I smiled.

  “Alright, goodnight,” she said walking away & closing the door, as Nico peaked his head from behind the mattress lifting up to get his underwear; and tip-toed to the door to leave out.

  “See you in the morning,” he laughed.

  “Love you,” I whispered.

  “Love you too.”

  “Those Were the Days Featuring Nico”

  The sun beamed through the window shades, forcibly kissing my eye lids, as I was swallowed by my large bed. My old Mariah Carey “Butterfly” poster gazed at my frail body trying to fall back asleep. But the events from yesterday would not escape my mind, and I don’t know how I’m going to cope with not being able to have sex with Abdul out of respect for my mother. This helps me appreciate the freedom of having my own place.

  My body felt so lazy, I didn’t even want to lift up. I wasn’t sure if I felt that way due to stress or from Abdul tossing me around last night, either way… I wasn’t prepared to deal with anything.

  It’s been so long since I’ve stayed in this room, and it feels like yesterday when I would sneak guys in & out of my window after meeting them on “Adam 4 Adam”. It was a hassle trying to be mischievous without my mother hearing a beat. But at the end of the day, my mission was accomplished and I would get away with everything I’ve done. It could be broad daylight and she wouldn’t know someone was in the house because I was able to cover my tracks, unlike other people who try to commit scandalous crimes. I could cheat on Abdul right now & he’d never know, but I left my whorish ways in my promiscuous days. I was still lost trying to find who I was as a person, and did any & everything.

  I had a drug dealer named Casper, who’d regularly stop by to have random oral sessions with me. He was easily the best ‘head giver’ I’ve ever encountered. Most ‘dl’ guys sucked (no pun intended) at giving head or refused to do it. But Casper should’ve had a full-time career at oral sex because he literally blew my socks & caused me to knock my head on several pieces of furniture. Every guy I’ve been with has expressed how legit my ‘head game’ is, but I could not compete with Casper!

  I would only call on him to receive head, which is rare because I hate for anyone to touch my penis. He was light skin with gold fronts that covered his entire four front teeth with scruffy facial hair, long corn rows & baggy Enyce attire. Not particularly my type, but his sex completely overshadowed his musty stench & bad clothing.

  “Damn shawty, I swear you got the biggest dick,” he said while the veins in my manhood burst out the seams of his fingers. As I laid my head on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling!

  “Can you stop touching it,” I asked politely. “Why? You know I love sucking it,” he said as he licked the top of the head. As much as I wanted to push him away, I was afraid he would pistol whip or shank me to death.

  “I just don’t like for it to be touched.”

  “You crazy, cuz! If I had a dick this big, I’d fuck every bitch, nigga, dog & cat in sight,” he laughed playing with my penis on top of his tongue. “Just lay back nigga, I don’t bite.”

  I buried my face under my pillow to eye contact with him & screaming aloud. The slurping sounds increased channeling the beats per measurements I hear during my recording sessions. He deep throated my ten inch, like was a toothbrush flossing through his mouth. I’ve never thought God could create such a powerful tongue in my life.

  His head moved in an off-beat motion stroking faster & faster, as I bit strongly into the pillow lying on my face. My veins pulsated in his mouth, and it got him overly aroused.

  “Awww shit, I’m about to cum,” I whispered as he pulled my penis out of his mouth & began stroking it in his hand. Faster & faster, harder & harder as my knees shook in the air & my feet curled up in the sheets.

  “Nicolas, why is this door locked,” my mother knocked on the door angrily.

  “Oh shit,” I whispered to Casper as he pulled his pants up running quietly to my window.

  “Hold on, mother. I just got out the shower, I don’t have on any clothes,” I lied shouting through the door trying to help him escape out the window.

  “Boy, if you don’t open this damn door. I cleaned up your diapers when you were little, and helped you aim your peeder weeder in the toilet,” she yelled through the door.

  “Yo, I ain’t feelin’ this shit man. I don’t climb windows,” he whispered.

  “I know, but you have to,” I said as he climbed down the water-pipe leading to the ground and I closed the window behind him, and walked towards the door to open it for my mother.

  “Hey ma.”

  “Don’t hey ma, me! I was trying to show you this,” she said displaying a flyer about a singers-songwriter’s contest in Laurel, MD that I later won.

  “Aah shit,” someone screamed outside.

  “What was that,” she asked.

  “I don’t know. Probably one of those junkies,” I responded.

  “You know what? I’m going to call the police about that because I didn’t move out the hood, just for the hood to follow me.”

  “Yeah, well ma I have to finish getting dressed. Thanks for the flyer,” I said.

  “Your welcome. Those damn junkies,” she said walking out the room. As I ran to the window to see that Casper was lying on the ground with a sprained ankle. I just knew he was going to shoot me, but he understood why I took action considering he’s on the ‘low’ too. Those were the good days!

  While I remained in deep thought, there was a knock on my door.

  “Come in!”

  “Good morning, baby,” Abdul said walking in the room on his cane in a tank top and basketball shorts.

  “Hey, what’s up.”

  “Nothing. You sleep good,” he asked as I shook my head no.

  “Me either. I got a call from Detective Roland.” “What did he say,” I asked.

  “He said the condo was insured, but they won’t cover

  the charges.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Apparently, they are suggesting that one of us left a

  dish towel on the stove top!”

  “Okay, so…”

  “So, obviously they are saying the oven was on.” “The oven,” I asked.

  “Yes, the oven you baked your pizza in,” he responded. “Oh my God.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I was in such a rush, that I forgot to turn it off.” “I see!”

  “Hot Cup of Tea Featuring Delmar”

  The awkwardness was in the air, as the madness translated from the palms of my mom’s hands through the accelerator. The sun would not neglect my face, in fact, insisted on beaming in my eyes ignoring the sun blocker.

  My mother’s silence drove me insane as if nothing ever happened, but the aggression in her driving contradicted her calmness. How could she stay with a guy who don’t appreciate the great woman she is? Father or not, he totally fucked up and what he did is wrong. However, they have to continue to make it work the best way they can. As I expressed to them before, God wants them to compromise & sought out their problems. This is no exception, at least do it for me & the church.

  “Are you ready for today’s sermon,” she smiled. “Not really.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I can’t pretend like everything’s okay when

  they aren’t,” I pouted.

  “Yes, you can. Just leave it in God’s hands and

  everything will be alright,” she sworn.

  “Mommy, don’t take offense to what I’m about to say…

&nb
sp; but…” I paused, as her eyes remained on the road. “How do you

  brush things off so easily?”

  She sat in silence holding back her tears, pulling the top

  of her sun hat down in her face.

  “Can we please not talk about this now,” she asked. “Mommy, I just want to know how you find the strength

  to pretend like everything is okay. Even though, I do want you

  two to stay together!”

  “Well for years I’ve tried to maintain what we had for

  the sake of my children, but you & your brother are grown now.

  So I have to do what’s best for me.”

  “But I’m sure you two can make it work. I’ve always

  thought the relationship was perfect--- too perfect.”

  “That is where the problem lays, son. I built a façade to

  overshadow the pain & destruction your father caused. It worked

  for so long that I became numb to it,” she bit down her lip. All I

  could feel was the reaper ripping my soul out & erasing any

  great moment I had with my father. It’s almost like the 60s when

  the community found out MLK got shot.

  “What are we gonna do,” I asked.

  “Well, you’re going to continue to be his son. Don’t

  worry about me, God will guide & tell me what I need to do,”

  she said while a tear dropped.

  “Mom, you can’t cry. It took you two hours to beat your

  face.”

  “Excuse me. What do you know about a woman beating

  her face,” she laughed.

  “Well, I do have female friends.”

  “Mmmhmm… I want you to know if you ever have to

  talk about anything, I’m here to listen & not judge,” she said

  looking in my eyes. Is she telling me she wants me to come out

  to her?

  “I will keep that in mind.”

  We arrived in the church’s sanctuary, and it was

  showtime. Lights, cameras, action & we both played our roles as