Nice Guys Don't Finish Last

by Brown, Chavez

  if we were royalty like the Obamas. It didn’t bother me staging

  an ‘act’ because it made me feel higher than anyone else. “Go to the music room, and tell the choir they go in five

  minutes,” she said.

  “Okay,” I said as I walked down the basement floor and

  saw many bystanders on the wall whispering. In the midst of

  opening the door, I heard chatter outside the room & when I

  walked in the door, it was an utter silence.

  “Hello everyone,” I said.

  “Hey Delmar,” one of the girl’s said holding her hand in

  the air as if she was handicapped followed by other people

  laughed.

  “What was that for,” I irritably asked.

  “Oh nothing! My hand just hurt,” she said.

  “Oh well, you need to get that checked out.” “Hey Delmar, have fun at Mount Vernon,” she said. “Excuse me.”

  “What is it they say? Oh yeah, we know your tea,” the

  girl Vanessa laughed.

  “Did I Just Hear That Featuring Abdul”

  I sat in the waiting room area for my four fifteen appointment with Natalie, as Judge Judy yelled at a black girl for being ‘too sassy’. As hilarious as Judy is, I would rather take a break from hearing any estrogen carrier yelling for no apparent reason. I’ve heard enough of that by Patricia for the past three weeks.

  Since Nico & I been living with her, everything has gotten worst. Things didn’t work out with Nico & Def Jam, the changes has affected him in a negative way during his performance & meeting with them! I’m still on work leave until next month and we can’t afford to get another place right now. I won’t be able to get Nahla because I don’t have my own place, and I refuse to keep my daughter in that a cruel environment.

  After the house burned down, I subconsciously distanced myself from him and don’t know how to deal with it. Things are rougher than a road under construction!

  His mother drives me nuts to the point I want to be out the house, unless she’s asleep. Despite the ongoing drama, I planned a birthday cookout for Nico a few weeks ago gathering his closest friends and family. Ms. Patricia had the nerve to curse me out in front of his guests about hot dogs that weren’t on the grill by three O’ clock, when only two minutes had pass by. On top of that, she removed the air mattress from the computer room because it’s suddenly taking too much space. I now have to sleep on her hard ass floor with a disabled back. She even gave us a curfew: we can’t be in each other’s room after ten p.m., nor walk in the house after midnight. I am glad she thinks we’re twelve year olds! I appreciate her for allowing us to stay with her, but I would have been at peace living in a homeless shelter.

  My homeboy Alex, who drilled with me in 2007 in Iraq, stays on base in Atlanta & offered me a place to stay. Even has connects with government jobs, but I don’t want to leave Nico by himself. I want us to share a future back in my hometown, but he doesn’t care for the city. He’d get too homesick being a week without his mother. However, that’ll be my way to stay with my daughter & she’s more important than anything else.

  “Yes, chile. Well you know I was in a car accident that’s why I’m here,” a feminine light skin boy with a feathered wrap said on his phone as I focused on the television trying to tune him out.

  “So he cheated on him with ten guys,” he gossiped, shaking his permed hair with his high-pitched voice.

  “What? And he didn’t get signed to Def Jam. That’s what the hell he deserves! First his house got burned down. Everything is catching up with him,” he shook his head, as my ears immediately tuned in.

  “Bitch, you are lying! So he slept with stank breath Marc, Jeremey, Deandre, Kenny, Diante & Tony.”

  My lungs locked uncomfortably, as I eavesdropped during a stranger’s conversation. Arguably, it could be coincidence that the same occurrences happened to another person. I will not assume his references are about Nico, until further notice.

  “His poor boyfriend doesn’t even have a clue. I heard he is fine too. I’ve never seen him before though,” he said. “What? I didn’t know they were together going on four years. He doesn’t like playing step-mom to his boyfriend either. Isn’t he in the Navy or something,” he asked the person on the other line, as it was confirmed he was indeed gossiping about us. “What’s his name again?”

  “Abdul,” I said, as he turned around & looked at me like I was wrong for jumping in his conversation. Ironically, he discussed my personal business.

  “Excuse me,” he frowned his face.

  “His name is Abdul.”

  “Who’s name?”

  “Nico’s boyfriend,” I said confidently.

  “Oh. You know him?”

  “Yeah, I’m Abdul,” I said as his eyes widened and his mouth quivered embarrassingly.

  “Oh my God, I am so sorry,” he genuinely apologized.

  “Naw, it’s all good. You have to be careful telling other people’s business though. It’s not right,” I said nonchalantly leaving out of the waiting room door, losing gravity in a state of shock. My legs weakened & I suddenly broke down, the aggravation over time has escalated. How do you let this marinate?

  At Nico’s cookout, I observed the way Nico & Tony interacted with each other. I could vomit just imagining them two kissing & fucking each other. This is far too much to marinate, at this moment I can just rip his head off his frail shoulders. No telling what I will do to him when I get home.

  I walked back in the waiting room, and saw the guy staring into space seemingly embarrassed.

  “Tell me all you know,” I said to him, as he looked at me expressionless.

  “Dinner for Two, Three & Four Featuring Nico”

  I’ve spent two hours preparing dinner for Abdul & I, as my mother ran a few errands. I know we’ve been climbing Rocky Mountains, so this is the least I can do for him. My mother has not been the easiest person to live with, in fact, I have learned so much more about her in the past few weeks that I never thought prior to living back here.

  The pot roast broiled heavily, I could taste the season-all & pepper in the air. I’ve never been much of a cook, but there’s nothing wrong with expanding your horizons for a man you really love, especially when everything has plummeted.

  The kitchen painted in neon red, orchestrated visions in my childhood when my mother would cook dinner for the two of us, and I always made pretend my father sat in the third chair across from my mother. It’s sad the only thing I had was an imagination of what life could have been, and it alleviated the pains I went through because of it. Sometimes I would blame my mother for him leaving, I still do! My mother & I have a track record of running people away, which is why there is always drama surrounding us.

  “It smells good in here, what are you cooking,” my mother asked walking through the front door, as I set up the table with folded napkins, eating utensils & glass china plates. “Hey ma, just cooking pot roast, white potatoes & mixed vegetables,” I said sitting the cups on the table.

  “That sounds delish,” she lifted the top off of the pot roast and realized I only set the table up for two.

  “Why do you only have utensils out for two? For you and I,” she asked.

  “No, for Abdul & I!”

  “Where’s my plate?”

  “I made enough for you, I’m just setting the table up for me and him. Since our bond has been rocky,” I said drinking bottled water, as she looked disgusted.

  “Find any jobs?”

  “Nope.”

  “Well, you’re going have to because I refuse to take care of two grown men. Your music career isn’t budging, you need an alternative,” she said.

  “Ma, not right now!”

  “Well, you’re going to hear it sooner or later,” she said.

  “Well, not right now. Can you for once respect that,” I asked.

  “Okay fine,” she said walking away angrily. I refuse to give up my dreams because things are
n’t roses at the moment.

  Just as I began to get flustered with negative thoughts, my angel walked in the door, standing on his own two feet with no crutch to keep his balance. I was excited to see his expression when he realizes I cooked, but he was intense like he was dragged to hell & back.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?”

  “I would prefer it if you called me by my first name,” he said as I scrunched every bone in my face.

  “Did something go wrong at physical therapy? What did Natalie do this time, I’m so sick of that dyke,” I yelled.

  “Natalie didn’t do anything,” he said.

  “Then, what’s wrong,” I asked.

  “You,” he mumbled.

  “Me? What did I do,” I scrunched my face confusedly.

  “The question is what haven’t you done,” he exclaimed as the light bulb notion of ‘uh oh’ flashed in my head.

  “What are you referring to?”

  “And you’re really going to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about,” he said.

  “I’m not acting.”

  “I’m referring to everything… the rendezvous at Bally’s gym, the swingers clubs you attend regularly with David, the orgies you participate in, fucking for free tracks & your affair with Tony as I suspected. Is there anything else you’d like to add to that list,” he bucked his eyes.

  “Wait a minute, let’s get one thing straight, I’ve never exchanged sex for any track.”

  “So are you saying that everything else is true?” “I-I never said that,” I stuttered.

  “So what the fuck are you saying,” he yelled as my mother stormed downstairs to see what the argument was about.

  “Abdul, now you know better using that language in my home,” she said.

  “Mother, it’s okay,” I insisted.

  “So what are you saying? Are any of those things true,” he asked.

  Yes! They are true,” I admitted as he gave a devilish smirk & turned his back walking out of the kitchen, while I ran after him trying to grab his arm, but he pushed me away forcibly.

  “What the hell is going on,” she asked.

  “Ask your son. Everything we had were lies & to know you had the audacity to terrorize me for an entire year,” he smiled, as my mouth wouldn’t allow me to speak!

  “Nico, what’s going on,” she asked.

  “I fucked up, mama. I fucked up, big time,” I cried wishing I could rewind back & erase what I’ve done.

  “So why’d you do it,” he asked rubbing his forehead. I became silent the words begged to discharge, but something in my body still wouldn’t allow them to come out. He stared at me & it was obvious his soul was crushed.

  “David though, Nic? My ex & close friend that you always told me to stay away from,” he said as my mother stood around with no idea of what I did. As much as she despised Abdul, she could tell what I did was wrong. There’s no way to cover someone’s handprints left at the scene of a crime. Son or not!

  “Answer me,” he said.

  “Well, I was unhappy at one point. I did things in spite of you hurting me. In the beginning, I was vengeful towards you, but it became an enjoyment when I’d get a rush off not being caught. It became a hobby to me,” I expressed uncomfortably while my mother & Abdul stood there watching me speak aloud. “I began going to the swinger’s club with David a few months after you cheated on me. At first, it was innocent, but after the fourth time I had sex with my first couple & became obsessed with it. I would meet random guys at the gym and we would have sex in the restrooms,” I continued, as a tear dropped down my mother’s face in disbelief.

  “And what about Tony,” he asked.

  “We still have an on & off relationship. When you first got shot, my sex drive increased, and Tony & I would make love about three times a day while you were in the hospital,” I said as I felt the chunks form in the back of my throat.

  “Was he the reason you wouldn’t say you loved me over the phone,” he asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “When I’d call & say that I love you.”

  “Yes, because I didn’t want him to feel left out. Even though, he knew you were my boyfriend. The same goes for David, he loved me too,” I said fighting back the tears waiting to erupt.

  “So whose fault is that?”

  “It’s David’s fault for introducing me to a dark world out there, and turning me on to the drugs, sex & satisfaction of not being caught.”

  “I could kill you right now,” he said.

  “Abdul, don’t talk like that in my---“

  “Ms. Pat, with all due respect… fuck your house! Ever since, I’ve been here I have been miserable,” he yelled as she bucked her eyes at him and he turned his head towards me.

  “Nico, I want to thank you for showing me who you truly are. An insecure & weak individual, who blames all of his problems on everyone else! The only thing you’ve ever cared about was yourself, and if there was anyone else interested in me. Why would you be so intimidated by a kid to the point you scrap him off your demo? When he sung it ten times better than you,” he yelled cutting through my skin with his words, sharper than any razor could.

  “Ouch,” I said.

  “It hurts doesn’t it? As much as I want to hit you right now, I won’t because I would lower myself to your standards,” he smiled.

  “Oh but when you cheated on me, everything was fine & dandy right? Because you did it,” I asked.

  “Again… taking the focus off Nico! I’m all out of sorry’s. Thanks for showing me how weak you are,” he murmured.

  “If I’m weak, it’s because you made me this way.”

  “No, you were always this way. It just took one mistake to bring the whore out of you.”

  “Abdul, now I told you not to use that language in my house,” my mother said.

  “I apologize! But this is the last time you two will ever see me. I will be back in a few hours to get my belongings,” he smiled walking towards the door. “And Nico I’m asking you nicely, please don’t bother trying to contact me because I have no problem getting a restraining order against you,” he walked out of the door.

  I didn’t know how to feel, three to four years gone down the drain as I stood in the screen door watching him walk to his car & there was nothing I could say. I wanted to chase after him, but there was no point!

  “Come on, let’s eat,” my mother said circling around the table to sit in the chair set for Abdul. As I rolled my eyes at her, and realized she’s the only person I may have.

  “Something to Talk About Featuring Delmar”

  “ Would you like to accept a collect call from Tyrone,” the operator asked.

  “Yes,” I responded as the background shifted into a noisy clutter of guys arguing.

  “Hey bitch,” Ty excitedly said.

  “Hey boo, how are you,” I asked laying down in bed.

  “I’m in jail, how do you think I am?”

  “Well, I told you to stop forging checks & stealing gift cards,” I insisted.

  “Yeah, well you know I’m hardheaded. Can you believe a bitch been in jail for two weeks?”

  “I know. I miss you so much, you know I don’t fuck with anybody else,” I said.

  “Tell me about it. But I gained a few friends in here after whipping the trade’s ass,” he laughed.

  “Lord, so much has happened since you’ve been gone,” I said.

  “Really? Like what?”

  “Like I found out who was going around the church

  spreading rumors about me.” “Who?”

  “The girl Vanessa that sung in the choir, but I put her ass

  out. Apparently, she’s cousins with the boy Oscar who tried to have sex with me, but I never gave him the time or day. So I guess he told her about me,” I explained.

  “How do you know?” “Because we talked about it! I’m leaving it in the past, though.”

  “Oh my God, did it get to your parents,” he sighed.


  “No, but I told my mother before it got to her.”

  “Shut the mother fucking front door,” he gagged. “You got me over here clenching my pearls.”

  “Yes, she told me I could talk to her about anything. So that’s what I did,” I said.

  “You have three minutes remaining,” the automated operator said.

  “So give me details. What did she say?”

  “Well, one day she saw me crying in the bathroom & asked what was wrong. I tried my best to avoid it, but I finally told her about the rumors.”

  She simply told me “people are going to talk. But if you stay defensive & justify truths with lies, then they win.”

  “And she’s right, continue,” he said.

  “Yeah, so I told her I’m not like the other boys. She said she always knew I was different.”

  “Juicy.”

  “Yeah, and she asked me if I was a homosexual. And I simply nudged my head.”

  “You have one minute left,” the reporter said.

  “Awe bitch! What else happened,” he asked.

  She said “she still loves me regardless, and that it’s our little secret we both will keep.”

  “Awww, I’m so proud of you. Have you heard from Jeremey?”

  “Actually, I have. We are not together, but we are trying to rekindle things. I even introduced him to my mother. Although she told me she needs to take baby steps to adjust to my lifestyle.”

  “That’s good, well I’m going to get off here before they cut---,” the phone interrupted the call before Ty could complete his sentence.

  Everything feels like a breath of fresh air, my mom & dad are getting a divorce. But witnessing her pain has inspired me to overlook the petty things between Jeremey & I. My mother’s happiness means the world to me, and if she’s happier single, then I support her decision.

  But today I am making decisions that benefit me in the long run, I cannot continue to live for other people & hinder my growth. People are always quick to talk, whether you are doing good or bad.

  “Leaving Maryland Featuring Abdul”

  Two ninety five was oddly jam packed and at ten o’ clock p.m. I wasn’t sure if this drive to Atlanta was the right decision, considering my leg gives out on me after a certain time & my endurance is very low.