Slut

by Jettie Woodruff

  “Turn here,” Mi said, her tone not changing a bit. She could have run over a bunny and smiled about it. “See, that’s where you’re wrong. You’ve learned a lot today. Look at the answers you found. Plus I think you found the only reason you need to keep going. Do you really want all the answers at once? Can you handle that? I think you should just hand it over to the universe and let God decide when it’s enough. In the meantime, this whole sad attitude is depressing me, you need an aloe vera plant.”

  I wiped my tears with the back of my hand and laughed again. “What?” I asked confused as hell.

  “It’ll help with all the negative energy you got going on around you. I’ll tie a crystal on some hemp rope later, too.”

  Nope, didn’t even go there. My friend was crazy and I loved her, appreciated her, and thanked God for placing her in my path when I needed her most. Crazy or not, Mi was my savior.

  The next call from Nick brought more confusing information. Paxton just stormed in his office, demanding to know where Gabby was, and who the fat Chinese girl was, helping her.

  Mi heard one thing. “Fat? I’m not fat.”

  “You’re not Chinese either. That’s the only thing saving my ass. If he would have said a short Korean girl, Lane would be right here. You took the car, didn’t you? Why the hell did you take the car?”

  “Well, I don’t know. The guy told us to.”

  “You suck at this. Stop, Mi. Please, stop this.”

  “And do what, Nick? Do you want me to turn my back on her? Leave her to claw her way out alone?”

  “Yes. Yes, Mi, that’s exactly what I want you to do.”

  “But you know I’m not going to do that. You could help us. That would make it easier on all of us.”

  “I’ll see you when I get home. I don’t want her there, Mi.”

  “Catch you later.”

  “I’m serious, Mi.”

  “Mi, we just missed him. We almost ran right into him.”

  Mi’s tone changed, but I wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, we need to ditch this car. What should we do with it?”

  I laughed again, this time a nervous laugh. “What is he up to? Why would he drop my charges? Why does he want this car? I don’t get what’s going on here.”

  Mi looked out the window with a deep sigh, and I knew what she was about to say. “I’ll help you all I can, Gabby, but I sort of have to keep Nick happy, too. I’ll get you a room in my name.”

  “Nah, you don’t have to do that. I’ll figure it out.”

  “No, I’ll get you a room, and I’m still keeping you,” she smiled.

  “It’s okay. I understand. I sort of have a plan anyway.”

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Tell me,” she insisted.

  I explained my plan while we walked through the parking lot of her workplace.

  “I don’t like that plan. I mean, if you knocked on my door after I thought you were doing my husband, I’d probably kick you in the knee. Do you think you did? Do you think you were cheating with him?”

  “I honestly don’t know. He’s hiding something that he doesn’t want me to remember, and I don’t know why. He told me that I had planned to leave Paxton. New identities and all. I think he was helping me do that, but I don’t know why,” I clarified.

  “I still don’t like it. Just go to the room tonight and we’ll talk about that tomorrow.” Mi opened the door for me and I walked in.

  “I’m not going to stay in a hotel, Mi. I’ve got somewhere to stay. I don’t want to cause any more trouble with you and Nick. He’s very uneasy about all of this.”

  “Thanks for understanding, but you don’t have any money. Where are you going to stay?”

  “I have nine dollars,” I teased while flipping my hair to my back and smiling at her. “We have a little cottage out by my husband’s workshop. He’ll never know I’m there, and I’m hoping to get lucky enough to see my girls. I miss them like crazy, and I don’t know what he told them. They must be worried about me, and I hate that. I don’t want them to feel lost. You know?”

  “Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. I have some binoculars. Remind me to give them to you.”

  Afraid of Paxton looking for an old white Honda, I dropped Mi off behind the school and she walked home, trying to keep Paxton from seeing the car. I drove toward my house, and left the car in the back parking lot of a busy Mexican restaurant and walked. I took back streets, carrying my bagful of clothes with a kids backpack across my shoulders. I ran from a dog, broke my flip-flop, and then crossed a patch of swamping woods to the beach. That was no fun. A wild boar scared the hell out of me, and I walked right through the biggest spider web I had ever seen in my life. I screamed with that one at the same time my mind thought about alligators.

  Paxton’s shop was locked when I tried to use the side door, but that didn’t necessarily mean anything. I’d seen his guys come in at nine, sometimes ten o’clock at night. I crept along the side, wondering whether he’d come and locked everything up like he always did, praying that he hadn’t. The main garage door was open and the rollback was gone. That meant they were moving equipment. It also meant Paxton was with them. Another one of those things I wasn’t sure why I knew. Just like the key to the cottage. No, wait. I knew that because Paxton told me. I slithered around the side of the building with cat-like precision, remembering the day I had ask him to see the cottage.

  He was in his office with a blueprint clipped to his drafting table. The old fashioned kind. For whatever reason, I loved that about him. Seeing him sketching a backyard plan with a pencil, wearing dark-framed glasses, was the sexiest thing I’d found about him. I remembered standing in his door watching him work. He sensed me before he saw me. I told him the girls were asleep and asked where the keys to the little cottage were. I explained how I wanted to check it out and walk along the beach. He dropped his glasses and pencil and told me to shut the door.

  “Jesus, Gabby,” I mouthed without audible words. I was about to break into the only empty place I knew and I was thinking about the spanking I had gotten over Paxton’s lap for interrupting his work. At least he told me the key was in his shop before punishing me. The throb between my legs reminded me that I got more than that. Hence the reason for chastising myself. Good grief.

  The sudden arousal left as soon as I realized what I was about to do, replaced with a thump. My heart pounded out of my chest as I tiptoed around the inside wall, looking for keys. Everything started to settle when I saw the row of keys hanging by the side door. The garage was empty and I was alone with some sort of backhoe, and a lot of tools. More tools than five businesses needed. I took the key, slid out the side door, and jogged the short path to the little cottage. Once again, my nerves calmed a little more.

  Using the little door on the opposite side of our house, I stood in a daze just inside the two-room house, a feeling of déjà vu permeating the air around me. Pale yellow curtains hung in front of French doors, and although they weren’t moving with a cool breeze, that’s how I saw them. The familiar way I instantly felt assured me that the house and I were well acquainted, but why? I stepped in swiping a cobweb from my face, looking around the quaint little space. Sand tinted walls decorated with a beach theme on every wall. A large net with a collection of starfish hung in one corner, and seashells lay on every flat surface.

  I flipped on the light just to see if there was power and flipped it off. That meant the water was on, that’s all I cared about. I didn’t need to see. At least I could take a shower and use the toilet.

  I turned in a circle, one big open room with an amazing ocean view. A rice-paper divider separated a king sized bed from the living room and kitchen, a closet with a squeaky hinge held a broom, and the door next to it was the tiny bathroom. A small shower and no bath tub. I hated trying to shave standing up. I smiled when I realized I didn’t have to do that.

  I walked right to the glass doors and stood when I heard the trucks coming in. I’d looked in these doors many times, tryi
ng to see in. You couldn’t do it. Not from the outside. Paxton could have been standing right in front of me and he wouldn’t have known I was there. The other three windows weren’t one sided like the doors, but they were too high to see in. Therefore, I wouldn’t be using the lights. I definitely didn’t need a visit from Paxton.

  I watched him with crossed arms, walk toward me, pacing back and forth while he talked on his phone. Just his actions were enough to tell me the conversation was about me. His arms flailed and I could see the anger in his face. The smile, taking over my face was uncontrollable. Paxton’s plan wasn’t going as planned, and it was eating him up. I sort of took pleasure in that. Paxton Pierce needed a taste of his own medicine.

  I would love to say I upped him one; that I was the smart one and I didn’t need him. I did need him, but not the way he required me to need him. I watched Paxton walk to his truck, pissed off and backed away, wondering who was taking care of my girls. Had to be Tricia. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit. None of my neighbors were worthy of my girl’s. Not one.

  I spent my evening looking up to the house, hoping to catch a glimpse of them playing outside, or swimming. God, I missed them. My eyes stayed on the house the entire evening, waiting for a preview. It wasn’t until the tide had come in that Paxton fired up the grill. Tears instantly welled in my eyes when I saw them, just a glimpse. The slope in the yard kept me from seeing them the entire time. I could see them perfectly when they slid down the slide, but I could only see the top of the two chains, swaying back and forth. An occasional, foot here and there, high into the air, but that’s it.

  My eyes narrowed when I glanced back to Paxton, swearing he had a smirk. I retrieved the binoculars from Vans little backpack and zoned in. Sure enough, Paxton was smiling. His hips even moved a little to the music playing outside. Okay, maybe that was the sexiest thing about Paxton. I loved it when he swayed his hips like that, flipping his spatula like he was all that and then some. It was one of the very few times I’d seen him being playful. I gasped and dropped the binoculars when I saw him look directly at me and toast his bottle of beer like he knew I was there.

  I instantly spun around, looking for a camera. “Fuck—fuck—fuck,” I said out loud when I saw it. Barely visible, but there. A normal person would have never known it was there. I on the other hand knew exactly what to look for. Perfect view, right in the center of the ceiling fan. Paxton knew I was there. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d been watching me the entire time. My heart pounded hard, drumming in both my ears while I debated on what to do. I had no phone to call Mi. She was the only one that I trusted, and she was crazy.

  I quickly gathered my things, trying to concoct a plan. I had no idea what to do. Did I stay? Did I run? Where would I go? Nick hated me, I couldn’t stay there. Just when I thought about sleeping in my car, my heart stopped, hearing the knuckles on the glass.

  “Open the door, Gabby.”

  I tossed the transformer backpack over my shoulders and froze, stopping with my heart. My eyes stayed glued to his body while my body refused to move.

  “I know you’re in here. Open the door.”

  Once the dry lump moved down my throat, I gathered my bearings and straightened my posture. The little lever clicked loud in my ears when I raised it and opened the door, my eyes looking up to his. I don’t know how I looked on the outside, but the inside was insane, adrenaline pumping quickly through my veins.

  “Let me guess, cameras?” I said in my best strong voice. The strong voice that sounded meek and cracked.

  Paxton smiled down at me and crossed his arms. “Of course there are cameras, and I knew you would come here. Where else you going to go, right?”

  “What do you want?”

  “Dad, Rowan throwed an apple in the pool,” Ophelia yelled down from the bank.

  All other thoughts suddenly disappeared. I didn’t care what he wanted. I didn’t care about anything but Rowan, Phi, and now Vander Delgardo.

  “Can I go to them?”

  “Of course.”

  I stepped one foot out the door and his body stopped me. “After I get some answers.”

  I chuckled and spit the sarcasm right at him. “You want answers? Try being in my shoes.”

  “Dad,” Phi called again. “Watcha doing?”

  Paxton stayed strong in front of me, keeping me from sidestepping him with a stiff posture. He called over his shoulder, but never took his eyes from mine. “Hang on, I’m coming. Stay there.”

  “I have a right to see them.”

  “You can’t just run up to them after leaving them. They don’t understand you disappearing like this again.”

  I frowned, wondering if he was insinuating that it was my fault I’d left them. “What did you tell them?”

  “That you were sick. You sort of are. I mean, I don’t even know what the fuck to call you.”

  “The same thing you’ve always called me.”

  “Slut? Or did you mean Gabriella? Which do you prefer, love?”

  “Fuck you, Paxton. I’m not your doormat, and I’m not doing this with you. I have just as much right to them as you do.”

  That thing about being strong and standing up to him dwindled to nothing when Paxton stepped inside. I was forced to take a step back, too, but I didn’t falter. Not on the outside anyway.

  “I’ll let you come up after they go to bed. I will tell them you’ll be home when they wake up. This is over, Gabriella. You’re playing my way from this point forward.”

  “I’m not staying in that house with you,” I said, again with my strong, crackly tone.

  “Oh, but you are. You’re staying in my house, and you’re going to do everything I tell you to do. Just like old times.”

  “What are you going to do, Paxton? You gonna call the cops? Maybe have me arrested for trespassing? Go for it, baby boy. I dare you,” I said while I watched the veins in his neck pop with the clenching of his jaw. My hand was patting myself on the back for my brass balls in my mind while my mind bragged. I did that. I stood up to Paxton and it felt good.

  I yelped, taken off guard, when Paxton grabbed my throat and shoved me inside. My lower back dug into the counter and I grimaced in pain, dropping my left shoulder for relief. “Don’t fuck with me, slut. I don’t even know what the fuck to call you. You’ve been lying to me since the day I met you. I’m calling the shots, just like I’ve always called the shots. Stop with the fucking games. You understand me? Do you Gabriella?”

  The grip he had on the back of my jaw kept me from responding with words. I moaned an incoherent yes and nodded with wide eyes. Paxton smiled and kissed my lips, releasing the firm hold he had around my neck and jaw. With a prominent smirk, he removed my cell phone from his pocket and dropped it into my hand. Just when I thought my heart couldn’t beat any faster, Paxton leaned in and whispered sultry words, kissing my neck and throat as he spoke, proving me wrong. “I’ll call you later. I like the fringes on these shorts. I can’t wait to see you bend over in front of me in them. Have a good evening, Mrs. Pierce.”

  “What are you doing in there, Dad?” I heard Rowan ask as the door slid closed.

  I walked over to it to see them both, butts planted on the ground, waiting for their dad. They both stood and ran to him when he walked toward them. Paxton scooped them up, and told them some story about catching a rat and to stay away from there.

  “Well, fuck me sideways,” I said out loud to the empty room, and then I remembered I wasn’t alone. A camera in the middle of the room reminded me of that fact. I spun in a circle, swimming in a pool of ridiculousness. Trying to figure out where to put this piece of the puzzle was frustrating to no end. Now what the hell was I supposed to do?

  I should have known. Of course the cottage had a camera, but why? “Why all the Goddamn secrets!” I screamed like a crazy person, right up to the little camera. I didn’t care if Paxton would see it. I wanted Paxton to see it. I couldn’t let it go down like this. If I went back into that ho
use I was doomed, I would be his victim just like he wanted, and I would never find Van. I couldn’t let that happen.

  Five

  My plan was to beat the hell out of the camera, lock all the doors, and threaten to call the police if he came near me. That was the only strategy I could come up with, but somehow, barricading myself inside a tiny house with no food didn’t seem like the way to go.

  A groan escaped from my mouth as my eyes glared at the stupid camera. An audible breath slipped between my lips¸ sputtering them with a feeling of conquest disbelief. My life was destined to eternal hell and no matter what way I turned, it led in that same direction. My guardian angel had a messed up sense of humor. Just when I thought I could see a glow at the end of the tunnel, another obstruction blocked my view and everything went dark. A metaphor for my life.

  Next came the woe is me, poor Gabby, I’m doomed, feeling sorry for myself phase. For whatever reason, I knew that feeling wasn’t the best plan either; that behavior would land me right back where I came from. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there anymore, and furthermore, I had a whole other person depending on me. I couldn’t sink inside myself; that may have worked before, but not now. Not with knowing about Vander. I had to make him my first stop.

  With the gush of rejuvenation, I straightened my posture, grabbed the M&M pack with Mi’s number, and walked out the back door with my phone. Of course it rang right away.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I said in a cheerful tone as my toes met warm sand, just off the pebbled sidewalk.

  “Are you serious right now, Gabriella? Go back inside,” Paxton ordered. I didn’t need to see the look on his face to see the displeasure, I heard it in his tone. I’d seen it many times.

  “I can’t. I’ve got to make a few calls that I don’t want you to hear. I’ll be back later.”