Double Grades

by Kristine Robinson

  They made love all over the place, tearing each other to pieces on some nights and gently caressing the wounds on others. No surface lay unexplored in their desire as they kept inventing new adventures in the make-shift playground, seemingly removed from the outside world.

  Friends would complain that they never saw them anymore. Nicola even stopped visiting the hospital as regularly. Their entire worlds became each other as they built an aviary away from it all.

  The days would drag by in endless minutes that stood between them and their passion – unavoidable but no less tedious. Teri even stopped enjoying her classes as much and found herself only putting in a mediocre effort with the kids, her mind always (uncontrollably) wandering off to the thought of Nicola.

  As the day, of what felt like rehearsed living, finally freed her from her responsibilities, Teri would find herself drawn immediately to outside the fancy apartment that she had started to consider her permanent escape.

  But it was an escape that she had no entitlement to – she was never allowed to stay. She once brought up the subject of getting an extra key made but Nicola shut her down so quickly, she would never mention it again. It would take a whole bottle of red before Nicola let her near her again that night. That was it then – end of story. Yet, with every fiber of her being, she wanted this to be her life, for this to be their shared home. That wasn’t part of the deal, though.

  She knew she was falling for Nicola and falling hard. Each night it was getting harder to leave as her naked body lay comfortably nestled against the figure that had become so familiar to her over the past few weeks. Teri tried to push the thought out of her head. She knew Nicola didn’t want any commitment – that much she had made clear from the start. But some part of her couldn’t help but secretly hope that she could change her mind, that this could become their world for good.

  Teri had never been happier, she wanted to share her entire world with Nicola. But she couldn’t help but notice that the moment their conversations got too personal or started in that direction, Nicola would quickly steer it away, shutting down as the walls went up again. Sometimes she felt like she was getting through to her, but then she’d find herself locked out of Nicola’s world again.

  Yet she kept coming back. Every night. Even if she couldn’t have all of Nicola, not having her at all would be unbearable.

  She tried to resist going over once or twice before, to try and force herself to go back to her own apartment after work. But it felt empty, foreign. It was distinctly void of Nicola. Her possessions provided no comfort and she couldn’t even sleep in her own bed anymore – it was cold without the embrace that she had become accustomed to. She needed that warmth wrapped around her body. But she was never allowed to get too comfortable… and inevitably found herself returning to this empty space every night.

  The early morning hours were for lonely taxis home and exhaustedly tossing and turning in the bed that still reminded her of that time Nicola followed her home and they made passionate love for the first time. But Nicola hadn’t been back since and no amount of blankets could cover the longing left by the steady beating of Nicola’s heart against her back.

  But the next day she’d forget all about the sad and lonely morning hours as the fairytale continued. Some days they didn’t even have sex. They just lay in each other’s arms and watched a movie or read passages from their favorite books to one another by the fireplace.

  It felt like the passion would never end as they lived this reality happily. But all it took was one simple mistake to shatter the entire illusion…

  It was a Wednesday night, Teri would never forget that day. They had chased each other around the kitchen until they made passionate love on the counter, scatterings of cutlery still decorating the floor as a testimony of their impulsive desires. The two empty bottles of wine sat perched next to the stove where the curry stood – unfinished.

  Afterward, Nicola had carried her to the bedroom and they cuddled and told each other ghost stories that they made up on the spot. Nicola had made a habit of carrying her around like a cave woman and Teri found this highly amusing. She wasn’t much smaller than the strong-willed goddess, but in Nicola’s determined arms, she felt as light as a feather.

  The last thing she remembered was Nicola’s terribly-presented story of a single, white fluffy ghost looking for pen pals. She never did find out how the story ended…

  “What are you doing here?” the hysteric voice dragged Teri out of her deep slumber. She sleepily turned around in the bed, pulling the covers over her head. The light shone brightly in her eyes.

  “Teri!” Nicola screamed, pulling the covers off the naked girl in her bed.

  “Jesus, Nicola, calm down – why are you screaming?” she sat up confused, looking up at her angry lover hovering over her.

  “What are you doing here?” Nicola repeated furiously, throwing Teri’s clothes at her.

  “I fell asleep, sorry. Must have had too much wine. It’s no big deal – calm down,” she started putting on her clothes lazily. The clock on the bedside table said 4:45am.

  “I told you from the start that you can’t stay here – that was the one rule, damn it! You’re not supposed to be here!” Nicola was being irrationally frantic and Teri couldn’t comprehend why.

  She got up, pulling her pants on.

  “Seriously, Nicola, it’s nothing. I’m leaving, just stop shouting already.”

  “Why are you still here?” Nicola said coldly, arms folded angrily over her chest. She had woken up herself only moments before with her morning alarm. But this time it wasn’t like every other morning. She didn’t jump up and start her exercise routine. She couldn’t, because her blonde lover was still comfortably nestling against her chest. The realities weren’t supposed to mix. Yet she struggled to articulate this concept coherently. Instead she spat bitter words at the woman she made passionate love to only hours prior.

  “Can you stop treating me like a common whore for once?! I fell asleep, I’m sorry. But I’m not just some woman off the street, you know!” Teri retaliated. “I don’t understand what the problem is. Seriously.”

  “I told you I don’t want any commitment,” Nicola persisted.

  “What do you want? Do you even know?!” they were both screaming now.

  “I want you to leave. I told you – get out!”

  “What is wrong with you? You’re insane!” Teri pushed past her and ran out the door. “I can’t do this,” she slammed the door behind her, angry tears streaming down her face as she ran down the street.

  Nicola just stood in the doorway, wordless. She never would get around to her exercise routine that morning. But she had bigger problems than that.

 

  Teri buried herself in her work, trying to keep her mind off the empty space that was left by Nicola. The dark-haired beauty didn’t drop by to check on the construction again either and Teri’s phone remained silent.

  If it wasn’t for the constant chaos of the renovations, Teri would have been able to convince herself that Nicola never existed in her world. That the whole montage of their passion was an illusion dreamt up by her lonely mind. But the building and breaking were unavoidable, throwing her entire class schedule into chaos as they moved around the studio in a seemingly unplanned manner. It was driving her insane and the students weren't responding well to the disruptions at all. It took all her energy to keep them calm but the process was draining her completely.

  Her whole life felt turned upside down. But it had little to do with the builders. Her flat seemed empty, but not as empty as her life. Everything reminded her of Nicola – but she refused to apologize or contact her, not after the way she acted. She had really hoped that she meant more to Nicola but clearly, she was a fool, just another one of Nicola's easily replaceable playthings. The thought drove her crazy but there was nothing she could do about it.

  “Teri – phone!” the temp down the hall shouted, bringing her back to reality. She pick
ed up the ringing device that was barely audible over the noise of the construction.

  “Teri, hello?” she answered.

  “Miss Alexander, hi. It’s Jenn here from TyroCorp – how are you doing?” the ditsy voice on the other side announced.

  “From where?”

  “TyroCorp – Miss Clarke’s company?”

  “Oh yes, sorry. What do you want?” she said abruptly. “I’m very busy.”

  “I understand and I’m sorry to bother you Miss Alexander, but we need you to come into the office please. Miss Clarke has asked that I get in touch with you.”

  “What for?”

  "You still haven't signed the papers for the grant to be transferred to your organization. I'm afraid it's fairly urgent. Our auditors are here this week and they need the paperwork finalized before our year-end. Please, can you come in today?”

  “Can you not fax it through? I’m really busy.”

  “You said so. But I’m afraid there is no other way. It won’t take much of your time. I apologize for the inconvenience.”

  “Fine, I’ll drop by this afternoon,” Teri sighed, putting down the phone and swearing under her breath.

  The last thing she wanted to do was run into Nicola but hopefuly she wouldn’t be there – she was hardly ever at the office anyway.

  Teri pulled up to the TyroCorp parking lot not too long later – complete with boom gates and guards. The building was much more impressive than it looked in the papers and its modern architecture intimidatingly loomed over the sidewalk. She was still not sure exactly what the company did or Nicola for that matter, but she knew they made a lot of money.

  She walked up to the receptionist and explained her reason for the visit after which the ditsy Jenn soon appeared to escort her up to the fifth floor.

  "Thanks so much for coming, Miss Alexander. If you can just sign here, and here," she pointed to the document on the boardroom table as Teri brought her gaze back from the open door in the corner with the letters ‘Nicola M Clarke' printed on the door. The room was empty. She felt relieved.

  “Perfect. And that’s that. I appreciate your cooperation. The money should be transferred before the end of the week,” the eager assistant said but Teri didn’t bother to reply as she headed for the elevator, anxious to get away from Nicola’s home turf.

  She impatiently waited as the elevator counted down from seven, opening its doors only momentarily to allow her entry to the other passengers.

  She only noticed Nicola standing in the back after the doors closed, starting their descent.

 

  Nicola’s whole body tensed as she saw Teri get into the elevator. She was just leaving to avoid running into her former lover but didn’t count on Teri showing up early for the appointment.

  The tension was almost unbearable as they stared at each other, the elevator seemingly taking eons to go from floor to floor.

  There was so much she wanted to say, but they both just stood there in silence in the full elevator, the strangers between them completely oblivious to the vibe.

  After what felt like a lifetime, the elevator finally spat out its occupants on the ground floor and Teri rushed out without so much as a hello, almost sprinting towards the parking lot.

  Nicola followed shortly on her heels, shouting her name. Teri didn’t turn around. She just bolted for her car, desperate to get out of there as soon as possible.

  Nicola still wasn’t entirely sure why she was running after her. Before, she was so certain that she wanted to avoid Teri at all costs, but seeing her there in the elevator – all the feelings she tried so hard to repress came flooding back. She couldn’t let her just leave like that.

  “Teri!” she grabbed her by the arm and spun her around as she fumbled for her keys in the messy bag. She never could find the keys immediately.

  “I’m sorry, I’m leaving as fast as I can,” Teri spat, trying to wriggle her arm free but Nicola’s grip was strong. “Let go!”

  Nicola let go her arm but grabbed her close for a passionate kiss, pushing her into the car – unable to control herself. For a moment it was like nothing had changed, like they were still them and their intimacy was never broken. But the familiar taste was painful instead, bitter with the taste of an era past.

  “You can’t just keep doing that and expect everything to be okay!” Teri pushed her away but not immediately. She took a moment to recover from the familiar embrace that she’d missed so much. But she remembered why she had left in the first place and pulled away, digging into her bag for the keys again.

  “Teri I’m so sorry how I acted the other morning. You have to understand. I freaked out when I woke up and saw you lying there – it was my one rule…” Nicola said weakly.

  “Oh, I understand perfectly well, that’s why I’m leaving.”

  “Can’t we work something out? I miss having you over. We had fun, didn’t we?”

  “Is that all you miss? The sex?”

  “Don’t be like that, Teri. It doesn’t have to be this complicated. Why ruin what we had?”

  “Because I am a human being – I have feelings! You can’t just treat me like a toy and pick me up when you feel like it!”

  “What do you want from me? I told you the conditions when this started…”

  “You and you’re stupid terms and conditions. I’m done!” Teri finally got the keys free.

  But Nicola pushed the door firmly closed and Teri couldn’t wrestle it free from her grip.

  “You can’t just walk away from this.”

  “Why do you even care?” Teri spat. “I thought you would’ve replaced me by now. Can’t you just find some other whore to screw you and leave in the morning?”

  “You’re going too far…”

  “Really? You’re a mad woman and I can’t be part of your chaos anymore. I thought you cared, but clearly, I was mistaken. “

  “Teri, please… just come over tonight. We’ll talk over a bottle of wine, see where it goes…”

  “No. I know how this ends. I’m not getting sucked into your world again.”

  “We can’t end things like this,” Nicola tried to grab her arm again, but Teri shoved her out of the way and got into the car.

  “It ended the day you threw me out of your house.”

  Teri slammed the door and drove off furiously, leaving the dumbfounded Nicola standing in the parking lot.

 

  Her phone rang non-stop but Teri refused to answer. She eventually blocked the number. The desperate Nicola resorted to leaving messages with the temp at the office – she found notes all over her desk. But Teri was done, she wanted none of this. She tried her best to put Nicola out of her mind completely and carry on with her normal life.

  It was three days later when a frazzled Nicola showed up at Teri’s apartment, pushing her way inside despite Teri trying to shut the door in her face.

  “Get out!” Teri shouted. “How did you even get up here? Just leave!” she frustratedly yelled, backing away from Nicola who was walking towards her.

  “Please, Teri. We have to talk. It can’t go on like this,” she sounded as tired as she looked.

  “It can’t. I want you out of my life. You’re trespassing; get out before I call the cops!” Teri repeated, opening the door. But Nicola pushed it shut again.

  “You can’t tell me that you don’t miss me, that you don’t miss us,” Nicola grabbed her arm but Teri pulled away, slapping her through the face.

  “You’ve caused nothing by chaos in my life! You’re completely reckless. I can’t play by your stupid rules. I’ve tried and I can’t. I’m not a cold-hearted bitch like you. So please leave so I can actually start rebuilding my world,” Teri was getting frantic – uncharacteristically.

  “Jesus woman!” Nicola grabbed both her wrists and pinned her up against the wall, kissing her deeply before Teri slapped her away again. But Nicola wasn’t giving up so easily. She pressed her hands against Teri’s breasts, firmly
squeezing them, holding Teri up against the wall, going in for a kiss again.

  Despite every intention, Teri’s resistance crumbled as the familiar touch immobilized her. She found her arms automatically dropping to the firm behind she had missed so much.

  “You can’t just walk in and screw it all right again,” Teri protested meekly as Nicola tore her shirt off, biting her hardening nipples through the constraint of the bra that came off only seconds later. She pushed her away again, but Nicola grabbed onto her waist and pulled her back – firmly.

  “It has to be different this time,” Teri pleaded, eyes already closed in the futility of resistance.

  Nicola’s only response was sucking each nipple fervently, teasing the hardening flesh with her playful tongue – first the left, then the right. She left a trail of saliva between the mounds on Teri’s chest as she moved between sides.

  Teri stopped protesting as her whole body erupted in desire. She pulled Nicola’s mouth away from her nipples towards her face, so her lips could devour the mouth she had missed so much. She breathed in her estranged lover’s scent desperately, intoxicated with lust as she slipped her hands down Nicola’s pants, grabbing the naked behind firmly, never breaking the kiss.