If You Love Me, I'm Yours

by Lizzie Chantree

  Dot sat in stunned silence and digested what he was saying, but didn’t comment about Elliott as she needed a second to think about what to do. ‘Since the accident you’ve kept me at arm’s length, Nate. You won’t let the scars heal inside like the ones outside have. I apologise for being such an annoying brat, but maybe it’s time we both put the past behind us, and started behaving like grown ups?’

  Nate grinned at her and her heart melted. ‘Do we have to?’

  ‘Yes we do,’ she said with finality, leaning over to kiss his nose.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Dot hitched her feet up onto the edge of her desk and admired her new shoes. They were glittering boots, with skyscraper heels and ankle-hugging zips, but for once the design was understated. There were no adornments, apart from the softly shimmering surface. They made her ankles look pretty and her legs endless, so she was finally coming around to the idea that a little less drama might be more effective. Her dress was simple for her, with a plain neckline and fitted bodice, cinched in at her tiny waist with a thin red belt. She couldn’t wait until she could add one of her own designs. The skirt of the dress fell in waves to mid-calf, and for once she felt creative, but understated.

  She was flicking through photos of the date night with Maud, Nate and Elliott on her phone. Tom’s behaviour yesterday had really shocked and upset her, as she’d been fooled into thinking he was a nice guy. She usually trusted her instincts, but he had slipped through her vetting process and it worried her. Nate had always hated him, but she’d assumed it was because he wanted to get into Maud’s knickers and Tom had got there first. Dot was hurt that Maud hadn’t confided in her that she’d slept with trashy Tom, but Maud was shy. Maybe she realised she’d made a mistake and was embarrassed?

  Dot stared closely at a photo of them all and squinted in concentration. Was there a difference between the way Maud gazed at Nate and the way Dot herself saw Elliott? Dot thought not. Maud might not realise it, but she definitely had feelings for Nate. The longing in her brother’s eyes shocked her too. The dude actually liked someone for once, but she was taken. Dot wished Maud would dump Tom and put them all out of their misery.

  She could understand why Nate fancied Maud so much, as Dot was pretty enamoured with her too. She’d never had a friendship where she could be so open and honest. Dot made a bit of a performance of most situations and had never been herself with her friends. She felt they expected so much of her for being from a family like hers, and she behaved accordingly, shockingly badly sometimes, she now recalled with a slight tinge of shame.

  She had always had to fight for the spotlight, as everyone adored Nate, for goodness sake. Although, to be fair, what was not to like? He was actually a great bloke, she realised. The jealous haze she’d carried since childhood had begun to evaporate over the last few days. It wasn’t his fault he was so amazing at everything and she was so useless. Dot grinned wickedly as she remembered that Nate was rubbish at something, he couldn’t get the girl he wanted. She snickered into her hand and then straightened her back with a little cough as she remembered she was supposed to be being nice. She decided she’d need a lot more practice. It was hard work.

  Now that Maud had gently nurtured her talent with the drawing classes – and Maud really was a great teacher – Dot finally realised what a complete cow she’d been to Nate. Knowing that Elliott was interested in her, even though she had often been disparaging to him and dismissive of his kindness, showed she’d been prancing around like a princess. An entitled drama-queen. She now had so many amends to make, she cringed and her shoulders slumped. No wonder she didn’t have any real friends. Most of the people she hung around with were gallery clients or friends of her parents or brother. What a sad mess.

  She bit the inside of her lip until it hurt and sighed, thinking back to Tom’s angry face as Nate punched him. They’d probably get a lawsuit thrown at them today and, to be honest, she couldn’t have cared less. Tom had deserved to be floored for the way he treated women. She hoped he had a child of his own soon, not with Maud, and also hoped it was a girl. Then he could see how it felt if anyone treated her poorly. Maybe, just maybe, that would be the only way he would change. Then Dot remembered what an idiot he was and realised that he enjoyed flitting around with his part-time work and his family, so that he could meet more women. It was such a shame that Dot’s best friend was one of them, and didn’t know it yet. Tom made her skin crawl and she was determined to make Maud her first priority on her making amends list. She shouldn’t have overworked Maud. For one, it might have affected her art and secondly, it made her terribly moody. This, in turn, put Dot on edge. She wondered if it would calm things down a little in her own life, if Maud finally got rid of Tom and started dating Nate but, knowing Maud, unpredictability followed her everywhere. You never knew who was going to fall for her next. She’d often told Dot she wished she looked like her, but Dot would have killed to have boobs like Maud’s and some meat on her bones. However much she ate, she stayed stick thin. It was depressing. Ok, she could wear high-end fashion, and she recalled some of her old outfits and frowned, but she couldn’t wear low-cut tops or anything fitted without looking like a boy.

  Maud had lost some curves lately, but she still had hips you could grab hold of and a bust you could loose your face in. Dot looked down at her own tiny little breasts and sighed. She grabbed them and pushed them up, to make them look bigger, but it didn’t work. She could hear Maud in her mind telling her she was supermodel-gorgeous, but she didn’t believe it. She’d always been the oddity in her family, and the thought processes were ingrained.

  She got up, deciding that Elliott would have to wait, even though she desperately wanted to see him. She also felt incredibly embarrassed at the fledgling feelings for him that had begun to unfurl, as if they had been there all along but needed the jolt of electricity from his touch to make them come alive. Gritting her teeth, she knew what she had to do next, and picked up the phone to call Daisy.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Maud’s shoulders ached and she rolled them around and rubbed them with her hand to try and ease the tension. She stopped at the school’s reception desk to talk to Daisy, but once again she was nowhere to be seen. The press frenzy around the paintings was reaching a crescendo, with more photographers staking out parks and locals talking incessantly about who the artist could be. It put her nerves on edge in case someone discovered her before she was ready. She’d lost more weight and even her boobs were starting to look a little less humungous, which she was surprisingly sorry about.

  Maud knew Daisy had lost weight too. She’d seen her scurrying across the playground earlier looking harassed. Maud had tried to contact her by phone and even turned up unexpectedly at Daisy’s flat, but all she got in return was a closed front door and an over-jovial message saying she was recovering from a bug and felt awful, so she’d been off work for a few days and hadn’t wanted to see anyone in case they caught whatever she had. Then she’d explained that she was busily trying to catch up on the work she had missed and really needed to get on with it, if she didn’t want to lose her job. Maud frowned. The head of the school had three children and a very demanding, executive-type husband, so she was usually understanding when a staff member was unwell. Maud couldn’t imagine her threatening to sack Daisy. She was just too nice.

  Maud was really worried that Daisy was lying to her and that the stress of keeping her secret from her family and Ryan was making Daisy ill. Maud loved Daisy’s parents and the thought of seeing them upset made her stomach feel like it was jammed full of lead. Daisy was such an open and honest person, it must be torture for her to keep the details of the artist everyone was looking for to herself, especially from Ryan. Maud felt a bit ashamed that she hadn’t trusted him and told him herself. She’d known Ryan for long enough, and knew from the way he adored Daisy, that he wouldn’t ever let them down. Maud decided that whatever happened, she would tell Daisy to let him in on the truth. He might be a littl
e hurt, but surely if they told him soon, then he would still get at least a little thrill from knowing before everyone else and might forgive them both. Maud certainly didn’t want the responsibility of being the person who ruined her best friend’s happiness for her own.

  Hearing the morning bell peal, she sighed, rubbed her forehead and tried to stand up straight. Her shoulders protested, but she’d made a decision and she felt better for it. As she turned, she saw Daisy walking rapidly across the playground with a phone stuck to her ear. Maud grimaced. How many times had they both reprimanded the children for walking along and talking into their phones on the way to school? Even though this was a primary, they saw it often with the Year Six children. She would have to scold Daisy later, but she’d check on her mood first, as she might not appreciate the gentle teasing.

  She frowned and squinted at Daisy. It looked like she might be crying. Maud turned to retrace her steps and find out once and for all what this was about, or tell her quickly to include Ryan in their secret mystery art gang. Then Tom walked up behind her, sliding his hand around her waist and leading her into the classroom before they opened the doors for the children. They walked into the store cupboard where they hung their coats, and he whispered into her ear that he was going to ravish her later that night, then kissed her chastely behind her ear. She blushed to the roots of her hair and completely forgot what she was supposed to be doing, before hastily rushing to let the children in.

  Trying to clear the fog from her brain as the children noisily filed into the room, she bit down on her lip to make herself concentrate and not focus on Tom or her exhaustion. Luckily it was the end of term soon, so she could get some rest then. She thought of Daisy’s miserable face earlier and felt frustrated that she’d missed her again. That was Tom’s fault. She began her working day with the resolution that she would go straight to see Daisy at lunchtime to check she was ok. If Daisy was having relationship problems, then Maud would be there for her. She would not be a bad friend, and she wouldn’t get distracted by distracting men!

  Tom had been incredibly sweet to her over the last couple of days. He must have finally realised how worn out she was trying to help Dot and do her job too. He might not be that understanding when he finally realised what she had been up to with Dot, though. She hoped he would be happy to find out she was the mystery artist, and not angry. She supposed she could confide in him too, but the thought had never crossed her mind, which made her frown a little in confusion. They had become more like flirty friends lately because of the distance between them most weeks, and she didn’t see him as boyfriend material. All of her thoughts were clouded by a tall dark-haired man with silvery scars on his arms.

  Tom had been really busy lately. His brother had just separated from his wife and needed Tom’s support, which she totally understood. She had even been a bit relieved, as it meant she could concentrate on her upcoming exhibition plans with Dot without feeling guilty about not having enough hours in the day for him. She would have to make it up to him after the art show, and hope he didn’t hate her for lying to him, and would understand her reasoning. If the worst came to the worst, she could just blame Dot, as it was her fault in the first place. She smiled, knowing she would never do this to Dot, however much of a pain in the backside she was. This thought re-energised her and gave the strength to pick up the pile of story books she had been aimlessly gazing at, and start helping with the day’s lesson.

  At lunchtime, Tom was marking exercise books and working through the next week’s travel plans, so Maud waved and left him with his sandwiches, rushing away to search for Daisy. She stamped her foot and huffed out her breath when she got to reception and found that Daisy had gone to collect something in town and had left the site for the lunch hour. Maud stalked into the staffroom and then faux-casually asked around if anyone else had noticed Daisy being unwell or unhappy. She felt on edge, as she had to be careful whom she asked and didn’t want to pile on more stress if other people started checking on Daisy too. People sticking their nose into their business would just make Daisy even more upset, as it would create more lies.

  A few people walked over and commented that they’d noticed both Daisy and Maud had lost weight, before asking for dieting tips. When Maud looked confused and said she was eating less, they looked really disappointed that it wasn’t a miracle weight loss plan, and then carried on with other topics of conversation, while she stood on the outside of the group not knowing what to do next.

  As the final school bell rang for the day, Maud arranged to meet Tom later, as he’d told her he was setting up a romantic dinner for her and wanted her, finally, to stay the night. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach and she was conflicted about what to do. She hadn’t slept with many people, and Tom was handsome, so why not just jump into bed with him and enjoy herself? She was sure he had more experience than her and would be a considerate lover. She was getting fed up with spending so many nights alone and decided she felt good about finally sharing more than just heavy groping with him. She was behaving a bit like a horny teenager around both of the men in her life and she needed to grow up. Nate wouldn’t want a serious relationship with her, while Tom did, so the choice had made itself.

  She rushed towards reception, with flushed cheeks and a twinkle in her eye about the night ahead of her. She squashed down the inevitable nerves over sleeping with someone new for the first time. She’d never enjoyed one-night stands. She’d tried one once and hated herself afterwards, until Daisy told her off and said it was perfectly normal for a grown woman to enjoy sex. Maud hadn’t really enjoyed it though, as he grunted like an axe murderer and it was over in approximately two minutes and twenty-two seconds, not that she’d been counting. He had snuggled her into his arms, after tweaking her nipples a few times and rubbing her crotch, but after those few minutes of making her sore, he was snoring loudly and fast asleep. She shook her head to clear the ghastly picture of sneaking out of his house at the break of dawn, and then reached the reception desk, only to find Daisy had just left. Maud had literally just missed her. Hearing her phone beep, Maud grabbed it from her bag and read a text message with relief. It was from Daisy, saying she hadn’t seen Maud much lately and she had sloped off work a few minutes early to grab a bottle of wine, but she’d meet Maud at her bungalow in fifteen minutes.

  Picking up the bag she’d unceremoniously dumped at her feet and throwing her phone inside with glee, Maud stopped and suddenly remembered the romantic evening planned with Tom. Straightening up, she decided that she’d just have to fit two evenings into one and hope that Daisy wasn’t round for the night. It seemed like she’d spent every evening with her boyfriend lately, so Maud couldn’t imagine that she’d want to be away from him for more than a few hours. If not, Maud would have to find out if Daisy was ok, then rush to get the first shag she’d had in a very long time. She couldn’t let Tom down again, but needed to see her friend and make sure all was well in her world first. Picking up her pace, she vaguely waved goodbye to a few colleagues she saw out of the corner of her eye from across the school car park and power-walked all the way home.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Ramming her key into her front door and pushing it open, Maud stopped suddenly, as she heard voices coming from her kitchen. Her pulse rate jumped up a notch and she gulped in some air, suddenly frozen to the spot. Looking around frantically for a weapon, she decided an umbrella would have to do and grabbed a tall one from the bamboo coat stand by the front door. She probably should have turned and run, but the rage that someone had the cheek to invade her personal space made her move forward and raise her arm to strike. She stopped suddenly, and her eyes opened wide in shock.

  Dot and Daisy broke apart from the hug they were having, and both looked her way in confusion. Maud’s arm was still hovering above her head, but she dropped the umbrella, which fell and clunked her on the head, making her wince in pain and rub the tender spot where it had bounced off her skull. She wondered what the hell was going o
n. Was Daisy ill?

  Dot kept her arms around Daisy, who wouldn’t look up from the floor, as Dot led her to a seat on the couch. Maud realised she was standing mute in her own house, and sensed that something must be terribly wrong for Dot to be kind to Daisy. She rushed over and sat beside her best friend, holding her hand and stroking her fiery skin. Suddenly she frowned and took a few steps back in her mind. ‘How did you get into my house?’

  Dot shrugged her dainty shoulders, still looking at Daisy with concern. ‘Oh I had keys cut a while ago, in case I needed to see you quickly.’

  Daisy did raise a complicit smile with Maud at the barefaced cheek of the woman, before she looked like she might cry again.

  ‘Okay,’ said Maud slowly, shaking her head and rolling her eyes heavenward. ‘Confess. Is the secret of my art too much for you? Am I causing you this stress?’

  Daisy looked confused and burst into noisy tears. Dot sat down opposite them, biting worriedly on her bottom lip. ‘We’ve got something to tell you,’ she said to Maud.

  Maud started to feel sick. What the hell was going on? She looked at Daisy in alarm, not getting any reassurance there.

  ‘I'm so sorry, Maud,’ said Daisy.

  Maud held her breath. ‘What for?’

  When Daisy didn't speak, but began to quietly sob again, Dot spoke for her. ‘It's Tom. He's a complete bastard!’

  Maud jumped up and her muscles contracted in shock. This is the last thing she expected them to say. ‘What? No, he's not.’

  ‘Not only is he a complete bastard, but he's been shagging your best friend.’

  Maud assumed this was Dot’s warped sense of humour and began to laugh. Then she saw that Dot was deadly serious. ‘Daisy?’