“Get in.” Without even thinking, I got in the car. Turning my head to face the window, I avoided him the best way I could. Thinking he was about to go into lecture mode, I was ready to go to battle. I didn’t need people telling me how bad I fucked up, I realize it every day. Every time I say I’m done, I give in once I start going through withdrawals. The shit was unbearable and I would rather have the fix. To my surprise, he didn’t say a word to me. Closing my eyes, I got some much needed sleep.
Feeling the car come to a stop, I realized we had reached our destination. Getting out of the car, I wondered who house it was. Once I saw him unlock the door and put the alarm on, I knew now it was his place. Looking around, his house was immaculate. You could tell he decorated it because it looked just like a bachelor pad. A high class one, but a bachelor pad none the less. Everything was black and gold. Feeling dirty all of a sudden, I didn’t want to sit down on his couch. Walking into the kitchen, I noticed it was two plates of untouched food. Feeling my stomach go crazy, I realized I hadn’t eaten in days. Looking around to see if he was nearby, I reached into one of the plates and started eating the food. The food was cold, but the steak was tender and juicy. Using my fingers to scoop some of the mashed potatoes up, I hurried up and threw them in my mouth.
“You don’t have to sneak and steal food. You can just fix you a plate. It’s okay.” Hearing his voice, I was embarrassed for the second time tonight.
“I’m okay, I was just tasting it. I’m fine, really.” Shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath, he reached in the cabinet and got a plate. Once he piled it up with food, he stuck it in the microwave to warm it up. When I saw him place it on the table, I was still standing there looking stupid and didn’t sit down.
“Auri, sit down and eat.” Damn near in tears, I didn’t want to sit down for two reasons. One, I had dried up blood in my jeans and I didn’t want to mess up his furniture, and two I didn’t want him to realize I was starving. When he saw that I wasn’t moving, his voice softened up. “Auri, it’s okay. Sit down and eat. I know that you are hungry, but I got you. Now can you please eat.”
“Can I take a shower first. I really don’t want to mess up your stuff.” Grabbing my hand, he walked me to the back room and showed me where the bathroom was.
“I’ll get you some clean clothes and have them laid on the bed for you.” Nodding my head, I got in the water and tried to scrub all the shame off me. For the first time in forever, I washed my hair. It felt so good, but I prayed the dirt didn’t stick to his tub. Once I got out of the shower, I put on his t shirt, but I couldn’t fit his shorts. They kept sliding off of me. Hoping it was okay, I opted to just wear the shirt. Grabbing my dirty clothes, I walked back in the kitchen.
“Is there somewhere I could put these until I have to put them on tomorrow.” Looking at me like I was crazy, he grabbed the clothes and tossed them in the trash.
“We will get you some things tomorrow. Right now, I want you to eat, and then we will talk.” Sitting at the table, I tried to take my time because I didn’t want to talk, but I was so hungry I ate faster than I intended. The shit that had me nervous was that he watched me the entire time. He poured me a cup of soda and I swallowed it down in three gulps. Wasting no time, he jumped dead into the conversation.
“Auri what happened to you?” Looking him in the eyes, I decided to let everything out. This was the first time I had opened up to anybody about the situation and I was scared how he would look at me after.
“When I came up here for Christmas break, I had promised my friend Jess that I would loosen up for one night and I did. I threw all caution to the wind. The first drink I took made me feel so good. I wasn’t worried about school, or tests and grades. I was just able to have fun. Then Sosa pulled out some coke. All of them sniffed it, so I figured what harm would it be if I did it too. Not wanting to be the Debbie downer I had been all my life, I did it. The feeling that went over my body was nothing like I had ever felt before. It’s like I was literally floating. Wanting another hit, Sosa took me to his house. He said I had to work for it. I was so high and my body was craving it, so I did what he asked. I lost my virginity that night and I don’t even remember half of it.” Looking up at him I could see the tears in his eyes, but I didn’t want sympathy. I actually wanted to get this all out, so he could take me somewhere to get another hit. I can feel my high coming down and it wouldn’t be pretty. Hurrying up with the rest of the story, I continued.
“When he came to visit me every weekend he would bring me a hit, but this stuff he had was different. It was stronger and I started going through withdrawals. All the extra money I had, I would buy from a guy at the school until he would come. Using all of my money on drugs, I was used to not eating by this time. I could go days without even realizing I hadn’t eaten.
When I graduated me and Sosa celebrated and he showed me a better and cheaper way to get high. He said I was costing him a grip with my habit. So, I started using crack inside of a pipe. That feeling was even more intense and I became addicted to that fast and quick. I needed it so bad that I slept with is friend for a hit and he caught us. Ever since then he been having me work off my drug debt by sleeping with his friends. One of his friends put a needle in my arm and now I’m hooked on both. You have to take me back before I start going through withdrawals.” Finally looking at him, he had tears rolling down his face, but I could tell he was pissed.
“Why would you let him do that to you? You know better?”
“I did it because I wanted to and I do it now because I need it. It’s not as bad as people make it seem. It’s saving him money and if I love him, I supposed to do what makes him happy right?”
“It’s not as bad as it seems Auri?” He was screaming at me as he grabbed my hand and dragged me to the room. “Look at you. Do you see what you are doing to yourself?” Trying to drop my head, he wouldn’t let me. He snatched my face up and made me look in the mirror. It had been a long time since I looked at myself and even I didn’t recognize the girl in the mirror. “That is not love.” Walking to his closet, he grabbed a box and pulled out a picture of me I didn’t even know he had. He made his point loud and clear. Looking at the old me, I was nowhere near that girl anymore. Sitting on the floor, I cried. He sat down next to me and held me.
“Auri I can help you if you let me. Just let me help you okay.” Nodding my head, I laid against his chest and cried myself to sleep. It was time I got my shit together. Seeing how I looked a year ago broke my heart. All I was now was skin and bones. My best friend comes over all the time, but I don’t say shit to her. I haven’t talked to my parents and I looked like shit. It was time for me to take my life back. I was ready, at least I think I am.
CHAPTER 21- SOSA
“Who the fuck do you think you are? That’s my bitch and you trying to play captain save a crack head around these parts. Bring her back man. Straight up.” Deleon was no bitch ass nigga, but I was pissed. What gave him the right to take something that belonged to me. He had me fucked up.
“Who the fuck you think you talking to? I gave you the courtesy by coming over here letting you know that she was safe and with me. But don’t get your ass beat in the fucking process. Now you want something from me and I want something from you. Tell me what the fuck is more important. A girl that you don’t give a fuck about and got her strung out on drugs, or the keys to the city.” He didn’t realize that Auri was important too. I was finally living my dream and he was fucking it up. When I first started this, I had a bunch of bitches working for me, but they got mad because all the niggas requested Auri. She didn’t complain, ask questions or shit. That girl would take fifty dicks in a day for one bag and not say shit. All she would do is get herself prepared for the next group of niggas when she needed her next fix. On top of that she was allowing my other plan to fall in place. Now this bitch ass nigga thinks he could just come in and take that shit.
“What’s it to you nigga. Since day one, you been trying to slide
up on her. You think I didn’t know, but I did. We supposed to be family, but you came at my girl every chance you got. Now you want to be the nigga that saves the crack head. Fuck out of here. Bring me my bitch back and I will forget any of this shit happened.” He walked up on me so fast, I didn’t even have time to react or grab my heat. Before I knew it, I was laying on the ground with blood pouring out my mouth.
“For some reason, you keep forgetting who the fuck I am, but I’m about to show your ass. I’m shutting all this shit down until you get it. Ain’t shit moving in these streets except cars and feet my nigga. It’s about to be a drought like you have never seen. If I so much as think a mother fucker is selling towels out here on my streets I will kill you. Now try me. All you had to do was agree and I would have had you a connect by tomorrow like I said, but now you gone feel me.” He walked out and I waited until he was fully gone before I started talking shit.
“I’m going to kill that nigga. His bitch ass got me fucked up.”
“Nigga he gone. Who you jumping tough with? You done let the man knock you out now you wanna go off.” Wanting to shoot Delow in his fucking mouth, I walked off. Letting my emotions get the best of me, I fucked up. I knew how my cousin operated, he was the king in these streets for a long time. I’m just not a coward ass nigga, so I will step to anybody. But I should have waited until I had the connect before I popped off at the mouth. It’s cool though. I’m a calculated nigga and he will get his. Not only was I going to get my bitch back, but I was going to fuck him over in the process. I would play nice for now, but I was at that nigga. He was going to see me, whether he wanted to or not. Picking up my phone, I dialed his number. The bitch ass nigga sent me to voicemail. Fuuckkkk. Looking through my contacts, I found the number I was looking for.
Me: Wya
Hot and Ready: At home, you coming over?
Me: on the way After telling Delow to hold it down until I got back, I left and headed over to Jess’s house. I needed to relieve some tension and I knew she would get me together.
Sitting here with Jess, so much was on my mind. Deleon was fucking up my plan by taking Auri. It took a lot of planning and research for me to pull this off and he thinks he can just come in and fuck it up.
“Baby what’s on your mind?” She was about to get on my nerves.
“My cousin took Auri and I need you to help me get her back.”
“The fuck I look like. You don’t need her anyway, you have me.” She actually looked hopeful. Don’t get me wrong, this bitch had me gone off her sex and she was pretty as fuck, but she didn’t understand. Nobody did. I needed Auri and I was going to have her.
“Look, if you want to be with me then you are going to help me. If not, I can leave and you can get the fuck on.” Watching her think it over, she finally responded.
“Fine, I’ll help you. Just know at some point it you are going to have to let her go. I’m not about to play second to no junky. What do I have to do?”
“Right now, I don’t need you to do anything but wrap that pretty ass mouth around this dick.” Walking over to me, she did exactly what I asked. Closing my eyes, I prepared myself for this bomb ass head I was about to get. Wasting no time, the slurping and the sloppy head had me ready to bust. Normally, I would and get the fuck on, but tonight, I needed something more. I was stressed and I needed to feel some pussy. Pulling her up, I sat her on my lap and slid her down on my dick. Grabbing her by her waist, I slammed her up and down on it. Needing to release my anger, this position wasn’t really working for me. Flipping her over, I spit on her asshole to give it some moisture and rammed my dick in. As always, she took it and didn’t complain. She was screaming like a mother fucker though, but that only turned me on more. I saw the blood forming on my dick, but I couldn’t stop. Somebody had to be punished and since I couldn’t do shit to Deleon at the moment, I took it out on Jess. My nut was at the top, but all of her screaming was preventing me from letting it go. Sliding out of her ass, I went in her pussy so I could get my nut. Her screams turned to moans and I felt my nut rising again. The shit shot inside of her like it was trying to reach her throat. My body shook and I laid down. My knees were weak and I couldn’t really move.
“Damn that was a strong ass nut. I needed that, thank you baby.” She leaned in and kissed me, I let her because I needed her to think she was the one. She could think it as long as she helped me. Kissing her back, she climbed on top of me and started grinding back and forth trying to get my dick hard. This girl was like a machine. She couldn’t get enough of this dick. Feeling my shit rising up again, I was ready for round two.
“Suck this shit off me first.” I could tell she didn’t want to, but she never told me no. I laid back and allowed her to suck my soul out. This was the reason she could never be my girl. What nigga wanted a bitch that was ok with sucking blood and shit off his dick? I was a nasty nigga, but I still wanted a bitch with ssome class. Auri would have been perfect, but I needed her the way that she is now. Looking at Jess working hard to get my dick brick turned me on. You can tell she was ready to sit on this mother fucker again. What she didn’t know was, this time this nut was going down her throat. I’m tired as fuck.
CHAPTER 22- DELEON
Sosa clown ass was blowing my phone up. He thought an apology would do the trick. Not this time. He was going to learn who the fuck I was. I’m done playing with his disrespectful ass. These young niggas today think they tough until a real nigga run up on them. The more I thought about what that nigga said to me, the madder I got. Not wanting to keep declining his calls I had powered my phone off when I got back home. Hearing Auri scream, broke me from my thoughts. This was day two of no drugs and the shit was getting worse. Knowing what I had to do, I got up to go get her.
“Auri, I have to take you to the hospital. The pain you are in is killing me and I don’t know what to do. Something could be wrong.” Expecting a fight, she slowly got up.
“Okay, let me just…” She couldn’t even get it out because she started throwing up in the bucket I had put in the room. The first night scared me, but I knew it was going to happen. What I didn’t know was it was going to be going on for this long and to this extreme. The first night she was here, she was shaking and crying so bad, my heart broke. I got in the bed behind her and just held on for dear life. Every time she threw up, she would start back crying. All I could do was hold her and let her know I was here for her. I was already gone off her, but I think I fell in love with her that night. She was willing to go through all of this pain because I asked her too. Everyone else tried to get through to her and she didn’t care, but for me she was willing to try. Seeing what she was going through and she didn’t complain or beg me to let her get high, all she did was cry. No girl has ever been able to break through my walls that fast, but this was Auri. I’ve always seen her as different. Realizing she was done throwing up, I helped her into her clothes. She looked so weak and I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked her up and carried her to the car. Making sure I brought a bag with me just in case she threw up, I jumped in and rushed her to the hospital. We didn’t even have to wait, they admitted her immediately. Seeing her hooked up to all these tubes broke my heart. The doctor walked in to talk to me.
“She was extremely dehydrated and had some poison in her system. My guess is she had a bad dose of drugs. It’s making the pain and the throwing up ten times more intense. If you had not brought her in, she might not have made it. She will still go through the withdrawals, but I am going to give her some Methadone. It will help with the pain and the addiction. We are going to keep her for a few days, but my advice to you is to get her into a rehab immediately after. I’ll send a nurse in to give her the meds.” Thanking him, I sighed out in relief. She was going to be okay. Climbing in the bed with her, I held her hand and told her everything would be okay. The nurse walked in to issue her meds.
“Hey I’m nurse Han..” As she said her name, I turned around to face her. Fuck, I had forgotten all about her. When me an
d Sosa got into it, I powered my phone off. He wouldn’t stop blowing me up and my focus was Auri. I needed to get her well. The moment I saw her, I forgot all about Hannah and what we were building. Knowing I had some shit to explain, I went ahead and tried to address it.
“Hannah, I’m sorry.” She cut me off.
“This is my job. We will talk about this later when I get off. I’ll meet you at your house. Right now, I need to give her these meds.” She looked heart broken and I felt like shit because I was about to make it worse.
“I can’t leave her. Not for that long. When you get off, I’ll come meet you downstairs.” Nodding her head, she issued the medicine as tears poured from her eyes. Getting out of the bed, I was going to go hug her and apologize again. I never meant to hurt her or lead her on, but Auri started screaming from the pain and I jumped back in the bed with her. Without even thinking about it, I had hurt Hannah again. As she gave her the meds, I rubbed her head and let her know everything was going to be okay now.
“It’s going to get better now, I promise. You are being so strong baby girl. I’m proud of you.” Kissing her on her cheek, I hadn’t even realized Hannah was watching us.
“Hannah.” She shook her head and rushed out of the room. I didn’t chase behind her though, right now only one person was on my mind.
After making sure Auri was good and the pain had subsided, I went downstairs to grab me something to eat. It was just my luck that Hannah was in the cafeteria having lunch. Not really ready to have this conversation, I decided to get it out the way. After I got my food, I walked over to her table.
“May I sit down.” She didn’t respond, but she gestured for me to sit. Taking a deep breath, I got it out the way. “Auri is an old friend of mine. We never messed around, but I do love her and I have always wanted to be with her. When I finally chose to get over her because she was with someone else I met you. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I had no intentions on seeing her again. The night I left my house to go handle business, I saw her and that was the condition she was in. I’m sorry, but I had to help her. Being laid up with her for these few days brought back feelings I thought were gone. I’m going to help her get clean and if she will have me, we will be together. I don’t want to lead you on and have you to believe we have a shot. As long as Auri is in the picture, I would never give a woman all of me.” Looking at her for a response, it took her a couple of minutes to say something.
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