“You’re brushing me off for a fucking junky?” Laughing hysterically, she threw me off. That was not how I expected her to act. “Get the fuck away from my table. I’ll slide you a couple of needles so you and her can have a good time.” Leaning as close as I could to her, I spoke in a soft but harsh tone.
“You don’t really know me so I’ll give you that, but if you ever in your fucking life talk to me like that again you won’t live to tell it. I came to you like a man, not wanting to lead your dumb ass on, but the nice shit is out the window. You are going to tell your boss that you are sick and take the next three days off. I don’t trust you around her and there ain’t a nigga I didn’t trust alive today. You have exactly fifteen minutes to get the fuck on before I drag your ignorant ass out of here and nobody will be able to identify your body.” Leaning back, I continued to eat my food as if it was nothing. She jumped up and practically ran away from the table. Wrapping my food back up, I went upstairs to finish my food. I don’t want her going in the room doing something to Auri. When the elevator door opened, Hannah was rushing on. Looking back at her in disgust, I left her with one final remark.
“Simple bitch.” I hated being taken out of my character. My momma didn’t raise me to be that way with women, but she had pushed my buttons. Walking back in the room, Auri was still sleeping peacefully so I decided to call my momma.
“Hey my favorite girl, what ya doing?”
“Laying here watching these ratchet women on Love and Hip Hop. How are you and Hannah?” Taking a deep breath, I guess I should tell her what happened.
“Me and Hannah broke up.”
“What did you do Deleon? I know you did it because that girl is too sweet to do anything.”
“She is not as sweet as you think, but the other girl I was telling you about, I ran into her a few days ago. She needs me and I didn’t think it was fair to lead Hannah on.” Taking a deep breath, she softened her tone.
“I know you are going to do what you want, but be careful son. You said she is not who you thought she was. Don’t get played trying to save her.”
“Momma it’s not like that and I was wrong.”
“Well what is it then son.” Taking a deep breath, I told her everything from start to finish. I listened as she gave me her take on things.
“That’s a lot. Are you sure you are ready for that type of responsibility? What are you going to do if she starts back using?”
“I’ll cross that bridge when we get there, but right now I’m the only person she is willing to let help her and that’s what I am going to do. I’ll call you back later ok.” After we said I love you, I ended the call. I know my momma was only looking out for me, but right now I needed to look out for Auri. Throwing my trash away, I climbed in the bed and wrapped my arms around my girl.
“I will fight as long as you fight. I don’t need anything else from you. I just need you to promise me you will continue to fight.” Kissing her on her cheek, I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep. I know we have a long road ahead of us, but this was one I was willing to take and nobody could stop me.
CHAPTER 23- JESS
Walking up to Auri’s parents house, I knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer. Her mom looked so stressed out, I felt bad for her.
“Hey ma, has Auri been around here?”
“Naw baby, I haven’t seen her since the graduation. I’ve been praying none stop hoping that she is okay.”
“I’ve seen her since then, but it’s been a week and I thought maybe she came back here.” Her mother’s eyes lit up as soon as I said I had seen her.
“Oh thank you God. I’m so glad she is okay. If she comes by I will make sure I tell her to call you and you do the same if you see her first.” Giving her a hug, I went back to my car.
“She hasn’t been there. Why won’t you just go to your cousin’s house?”
“Because I can’t. We gone have to catch her somewhere else. Stop trying to do the thinking and just do what I ask you.” Taking a deep breath, I put the car in drive. Sosa’s attitude was really starting to get on my nerves. Stopping at a gas station, I ran in to pay for my gas. Not looking, I ran right into someone.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok.” Right here in my face was Sosa’s fine ass cousin.
“Hey handsome. It’s D right.” Looking me in my face, I could tell he was trying to place where he knew me from. “I’m Auri’s best friend. We met at the restaurant.
“Oh hey, the thirsty one right?” Rolling my eyes, I decided to see if I could get him to tell me where she was.
“I have been trying to get in touch with my friend, have you seen her?”
“Yeah, she is in rehab. I’ll let her know you asked about her.” He said while looking out the window pass me as if I was nothing.
“Can you tell me which one she is in, I want to go visit her and make sure she is okay.”
“She is fine and no I can’t tell you where she is. I’ll also make sure I won’t tell her you’re riding around with her boyfriend.” He walked off leaving me looking stupid then turned around like he forgot something.
“Oh here, I’m sure you need this.” Handing me a bottle of water, I wanted to spit in his face. Storming back to my car, I got in and slammed the door.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sosa was looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“What is it about her that has all of yall going crazy over her, but you treat me like shit. Why wasn’t I good enough?” Looking at me like he was thinking how he wanted to answer that I spoke again. “I want the truth, not some bullshit.”
“You want the truth, okay here is the truth. The first time we met, you had your mouth on my homie dick and you let me fuck. Right in front of my girl who happens to be your best friend. You’re not the type somebody wife up. We fuck you and keep it moving.” Realizing he was never going to be mine, I started crying.
“All of this is for nothing then.” I managed to get out between cries. His face softened and he spoke again.
“That was before I got to know you. I see you differently now and it’s all good ma. You got me, but I still need Auri. Once I’m done with her, it will just be me and you okay.” Smiling, I’m glad he saw pass all my bullshit.
“What made you come out of the gas station asking that shit for.” I totally forgot to tell him about his cousin.
“Oh, because I saw D in there and he was treating me like I was nothing.” Seeing his jaws clenching, I knew I fucked up.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me that when you first got in the car.” Looking around, he got out to see if he saw D. “The nigga could have led us to Auri dumb ass, but while your ass in here crying and looking ugly and shit, he left.”
“My feelings were hurt and I wanted to know what it was.”
“For starters, you dumb as fuck. Drive before I knock your simple ass out. I can’t believe you let this nigga leave. Did he say anything?” Rolling my eyes, I answered.
“He said she is in rehab, but he wouldn’t tell me which one.”
“FUCK.” Slamming his hands against the dash board, I knew I had fucked up. Driving away, I didn’t even look at him. I was scared he would hit me. I couldn’t wait to find this bitch. Pulling back up to the trap house caused me even more problems. Delow was sitting out front and the look on his face told me I was in for it.
“Where the fuck yall coming from?” His jaw line was clenched and his veins were popping out.
“Pull your skirt down nigga, bitches get fucked everyday B.” Sosa did his best Rico impersonation from the movie Paid in Full and walked in the trap.
“Baby don’t listen to him, we have been trying to find Auri.” Still not convinced that’s all that happened, he continued questioning me.
“Why the nigga couldn’t look for her ass his damn self?”
“You know damn well her parents is not going to talk to him, but they haven’t seen her. We ran into D and he said she in rehab.”
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“This nigga act like he scared of D ass. He let this mother fucker take his bitch and stop our supply and his answer to that is to ride around with my girl.”
“I don’t know what’s going on all I know is I hope he hurry up and finds her ass. I’m sick of this shit.”
“Sick of what?” With a curious look on his face, he turned to me waiting for me to respond.
“I’m sick of looking for her ass. She wanted to get high that’s on her, she wants to get clean oh fucking well. I’m tired of mother fuckers acting like she a princess or some shit and she a fucking crack head.
“Shorty, you sound mad jealous right now. That’s your best friend and you should be out there looking for her. I never realized until now just now how fucked up you are. Get the fuck off my steps before I drag your ass. “Looking stupid, I didn’t know Delow had it in him to go off on me or anyone for that matter. He was always so laid back. That was half the reason I was walking all over his ass, but right now he had me turned on like a mother fucker. Walking up to him, I tried to grab his dick. He had me ready to fuck him right here on the porch steps, but he snatched me by my hair and started dragging me down the stairs.
“You thought I was playing? Bitch we done. If I catch you around here again, I ain’t gone be this nice. Get the fuck on.” Releasing my hair, he slung me against the car and walked off. How the fuck I end up with two guys in my life treating me like shit? I would get the last laugh though. Delow thinking he is doing some shit, but as soon as Sosa was done with this bullshit with Auri, I was going to come around with my new man. Delow wouldn’t dare put his hands on me in front of Sosa. Clown ass gone try to boss up all of a sudden and like everything else, it was all over Auri. Driving off, if I didn’t know shit else I knew I was sick of hearing about that bitch.
CHAPTER 24- AURI
2 MONTHS LATER…
It’s been a long road to my recovery, but I’m taking it one day at a time. Deleon has been great, but he still has not attempted to have sex with me. Thinking I should feel grateful, I just go on about my regular day as if there isn’t anything wrong. I’m happy, but I’m not happy at the same time. He doesn’t want me to leave the house and the lack of sex is not helping. He goes out and handle his business and I’m stuck here all day doing nothing. I clean and I cook trying to make myself appear useful, but all it does is make me feel like a damn room mate. The day I graduated from rehab and came home, I was sure that would be the day we would have sex, but that wasn’t the case at all.
I was sitting at another graduation of mine, but this one was most important to me. Everybody was here with their families, but all I had was him. Nobody even knew that I was on drugs and they damn sure didn’t know I was in rehab. Once I finished, I would go and tell my parents everything. I wanted to make sure I was all the way back on track before I went to them. Already knowing it would break their heart, I wanted to give them some good news as well. I couldn’t stop smiling because he was sitting there with what seemed to be a million balloons that read congrats. He had the biggest bouquet of roses I had ever seen, but most of all his smile was bigger than mine. You could tell he was proud of me, he wore it in his expression. After we received our medal and certificate, I ran to him and jumped in his arms. My weight had picked back up some since I was eating and my face was no longer sunken in. We walked out hand in hand and he kept staring into my eyes.
Driving us to dinner, we walked into Ruth Chris looking like the happiest couple ever and I wasn’t sure if we were even together. I was nervous because I didn’t want to read too much into his niceness. Reality set in, who would want to be with an ex junky? He pulled my chair out and I sat down. For the longest we just stared at each other.
“What’s on your mind baby girl?” I was nervous, but I asked anyway.
“Are you just being nice? I guess what I’m trying to ask is where do we go from here? Are you going to visit me at my parent’s house?” He smiled that gorgeous ass smile at me and grabbed my hand.
“Baby girl, you are not going to your parent’s house. You are staying with me. My house is our house and if you will finally have me, we are together. You know you turned me down every chance you got. A nigga damn near scared to ask you.” Looking up from the table, I couldn’t control my excitement. My ass started crying. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m happy. Who would have ever thought someone would want me after…” Not finishing my sentence, I’m sure he knew what I meant.
“Listen, I don’t ever want you to talk down on yourself. We all make mistakes, but you were woman enough to correct them. I’ve always wanted you and I know your potential. That’s how I am able to look pass your flaws. My momma always said, in order to truly love someone, you have to love their flaws first.” The waiter came and we ordered our food. Laughing and talking about everything, we finally headed out to go home. When I walked in the door, it was so many bags and boxes. He had went shopping for me buying me all kinds of clothes and shoes. There was a welcome home banner hanging and the emotions that came over me were intense. I wanted him right there on the floor. Running to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and started kissing him with so much passion, I just knew we were about to get it on. When I grabbed at his meat, he stopped me.
“Not tonight. Let’s just continue to celebrate.” I was disappointed and hurt, but I brushed it off and enjoyed the rest of the night. Telling myself, we had every night to have sex, so just enjoy today.
But, here we are one month later and he still has not touched me in that way. He’s always attentive and passionate, but no sex. We kiss and he hold me every night. I was so confused, but on today, I promised myself I would get answers. When he walked in the door, I was sitting on the couch in the dark. I could hear him fumbling with bags. As soon as he turned the light on, I blurted it out.
“Why won’t you touch me?”
“What are you talking about baby girl? I touch you every day.” He tried to play confused, but I could tell he knew what I meant.
“You know what I am asking you. If we are in a relationship, why won’t you have sex with me?”
“Because I’m giving your body time to heal. You have been through a lot. Sex will come, I want you to love me for me and want to have sex with me because of that. Not because you feel obligated.”
“I already love you. Is there someone else?” He took a deep breath as if I was getting on his nerves.
“There is nobody else Auri.” Hearing him call me Auri let me know he was pissed. He has always called me baby girl. Deciding to change the subject, I asked the next thing that was bothering me.
“Why won’t you let me go outside? You’re gone handling your business and I’m stuck in here feeling useless.”
“I need to know that you are ready for that and right now I think it’s too soon. I will do better at being home more and I will take you places. Tomorrow, I will take you to the beauty shop, I miss your purple hair.”
“Okay. I just want you to know that I’m trying, but I need you to try as well. I will always be grateful for what you have done for me, but I need to know that I’m not just here.”
“Baby girl I hear you, and I promise you, I’m going to do better. Let’s just take this one day at a time. I’m not good at this either, this is a first for me. Just be patient and we will figure this out.” He sat down beside me and hugged me. Like always, he kissed me and then left me high and dry.
“Come eat, I brought you some food.” Getting up to go eat, I prayed that it got better.
CHAPTER 25- DELEON
Auri has been down my back damn near every night. If I kiss her and hug her, I always find a way to stop and not have sex with her. She swears it’s another woman, but it’s not. Telling her I wanted her body to heal was the truth, but it wasn’t the entire reason. Auri told me that in order for Sosa to give her drugs, she had to sleep with him and all his friends. She has even slept with niggas she didn’t know. Not to mention, the fact that she was shoot
ing up. I don’t want to have sex with her until she is tested, but I can’t figure out a nice way to ask that shit. There is no nice way to ask that bullshit. She would be offended and pissed and I didn’t want her to leave me, but I needed to make sure she was clean. I’ve been wrecking my brain on how to ease the shit into the conversation and I keep coming up empty handed. Now every night I have to prove and convince her that there is nobody else. The shit was becoming stressful and on top of that, I needed to bust. Her weight was damn near back to where it used to be and me taking her to the shop had her looking like the old Auri. My dick stayed hard, but I know I need to protect myself. I love the fuck out of her and I plan on having a family with her, but I needed to be sure. Thinking she would be offended if I used a condom, I just chose to not have sex with her. Knowing she was going to start on me as soon as I walked in, I’ve been sitting in my car for the past thirty minutes. Sucking it up, I got out of the car and went in the house ready to have the talk I have dreaded the most. Just as I thought, she was sitting there waiting on me.
“Where the fuck have you been all day D? Who is she? You may as well tell me and stop leading me on. You helped me out and now I’m good. I can go stay at my parent’s house.” Sitting down next to her, I worked up enough nerve to say it.
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