1 Graveyard Shift

by Angela Roquet

  “Yes,” Horus answered.

  “Wonderful! Ma’at will be pleased to meet all of you. You have brought back to us one of her most beloved pharaohs. I hope you enjoy the ceremony.”

  “Thank you. I’m sure we will,” I smiled.

  Ma’at was Thoth’s wife and the goddess of truth. Truth was always nice to have, especially if you had the job of settling disputes between gods, like Thoth did.

  “We better get in there before they start.” Horus led us out of the office and through the golden doorway of the Hall of Two Truths.

  Inside, what looked like jury boxes were lined up against walls displaying fresh hieroglyphics. The walls were drywall, but they had been carefully painted to resemble the block inside the original pyramids.

  Osiris, the merciful judge of the dead, waited on a platform at the end of the hall. Mummy wrappings loosely circled his legs. I grinned, wondering if he was having a hard time keeping them on now that Isis was home. Isis stood to his left and Nephthys to his right. They both wore the traditional feathers, hanging from their sleeves like wings. Isis spotted us and gave a small gasp, shocked and embarrassed by our presence, like she’d been caught naked in her front yard.

  So many human souls have lost faith, that no matter how well Grim has Khadija contain the soul matter, the human influence still washes over. And the subliminal message is this: Ceremony is dead. Isis could feel the teenage kid being teased because he was an alter boy, and the Islam girl in an American school where every other girl was considered normal except her in her mysterious hijab. Isis couldn’t stop a disease that was staining faith as a whole with degradation and shame.

  She pressed her fingers to her lips and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, she looked away and pretended as though she hadn’t seen us at all.

  On another platform, in the center of the hall, waited a large scale. A crowd of deities were seated in the front rows of the boxes to serve as divine assessors, while lesser deities and those not of Egyptian descent stood behind them to observe. Instead of sitting with his people, Horus remained standing with us.

  Osiris raised his hands for silence as Anubis entered with the soul and escorted him to the scales. Next came Thoth, Ma’at, and Ammit with her fearsome crocodile headdress that snapped and hissed, provoking gasps of terror from the audience. Judgment Day and a circus, all in one show.

  “First,” began Osiris, “we shall receive the negative confessions.”

  The soul bowed before him and began reciting. With each confession, he denied committing a specific sin, and after doing so, he began to fade, taking on a transparent glow. His heart remained solid in his chest, and when he had finished his confessions, Anubis reached into him and withdrew the pulsing organ.

  “Now we shall hear the testimony of the goddesses,” Osiris announced.

  A handful of women approached his throne, and one at a time they spoke of the man’s good deeds throughout his life, while Thoth recorded their words on a scribal palette. The deeds sounded out of place, but only because they were a few thousand years old. When the goddesses were finished, they went back to their seats.

  Anubis placed the soul’s heart in one of the scale pans, while Ma’at rested the single ostrich feather of her headdress on the opposite tray. Ammit kneeled beneath the heart, her headdress snapping hungrily.

  The first signs of doubt crossed the soul’s face as he anxiously waited for the scales to balance. When they finally did, everyone cheered and applauded. Even Ammit dropped her loathing façade to congratulate the soul.

  “Onward we move,” bellowed Osiris, “to Aaru, the Field of Rushes!”

  Horus turned to us with a smile. There were some pleasures that even thousands of years could not diminish. It made me feel better about growing old in Eternity. Even Josie was smiling.

  “Thank you,” Horus whispered to me.

  “Thank you.” I smiled at him, but his expression went solemn.

  “Your appearance here, delivering a soul and staying for the ceremony, will strengthen my peoples’ loyalty to me and make it difficult for Seth to build his army from Duat rebels.”

  I hadn’t thought of it that way. Any pride I would have felt suffocated under my fear of Seth. I did not want to be on his radar. If he saw me as a threat, it wouldn’t only jeopardize my life, but my assignment and all those helping me. This was a smart move for Horus, but possibly a very stupid move for me. Seth had spies everywhere, and from the few dark glances I received on the way out, I knew not even the Hall of Two Truths was safe.

  “I tried to tell you.” Josie whispered over my shoulder loud enough for Horus to hear. “He doesn’t do anything unless it benefits him somehow.”

  The skin around Horus’s eyes tightened, but he pretended like he hadn’t heard her. “Allow me to escort you back to your ship.”

  “I think we’ll manage.” Josie shoved past him.

  I sighed and raised an eyebrow at Horus. “I don’t mind being used. I’m a reaper, that’s what I’m good for, apparently. But at least have the fucking courtesy to tell me what I’m being used for. I may not have churches or shrines or sacrifices made in my name, but I do have a sense of decency. Do you, Horus?”

  “I’m sorry Lana. I thought if I told you before the ceremony that you wouldn’t stay.” He dropped his chin and clasped his hands behind his back.

  I folded my arms. “You know something? It’s not even the idea of losing my life that I’m the most upset about. If you like Josie so damned much, why are you so willing to risk her life?”

  “It’s not that I’m willing to risk her life. I’m just less willing to risk war.” He held out his hands powerlessly, the broken and forgotten god that he was.

  Chapter 20

  “Let your religion be less of a theory

  and more of a love affair.”

  -G.K. Chesterton

  Saul and Coreen rushed down the hall and pushed past me as I opened my apartment door. It only took one day for them to figure out the only safe place to be with me was at home.

  Coreen yipped, and I reached for my scythe before flipping on the light in the kitchen.

  “Out here a man settles his own problems,” John Wayne called from the television, just as I spotted a trail of white feathers leading from the refrigerator into the living room.

  “Gabriel?”

  “Hey.” Maalik and Gabriel both answered. The two of them sat on the sofa, digging through a stack of movies.

  “Just giving Maalik a run-down of your favorite flicks,” Gabriel laughed. They were still in their work robes.

  Coreen barked again. She saw the couch as her territory and wanted them to move. She looked at me and whimpered like a spoiled child. When she realized they weren’t going to leave, she snorted and sulked over to join Saul on my bed.

  “How long have you guys been here?” The clock above my sink showed it was nearing midnight.

  “Eight maybe?” Maalik answered and looked at Gabriel.

  “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

  “Oh.” I smiled.

  They had become buddies in four hours over my western collection, and apparently Cheetos. Orange crumbs littered the coffee table, and greasy fingerprints graced the edges of a few DVD cases.

  “How did everything go at work?” Maalik stood and helped me pull off my robe. I hung it and my scythe on the back of the bathroom door. The coat closet didn’t have enough room, now that there was a four hundred pound bag of dog food in there.

  “Okay, I guess. We had two mild attacks, but no injuries.”

  “Two attacks?” Gabriel stood. “That makes five in less than a week. That’s more than most senior reapers encounter in an entire century. I don’t like this, Lana. Maybe I can have Peter grant me temporary leave until things settle down. I can help.”

  “That’s not a bad idea.” Maalik agreed with him. That was a first. “I’m not able to leave Limbo City while serving on the council, but I would feel better if one of the heavenly h
osts accompanied you.”

  “It’s not up to me. Ask Grim.” I sighed and slumped down in a kitchen chair.

  “I will, first thing tomorrow morning.” Maalik dusted an orange crumb off his sleeve. “What time is it?”

  “Almost midnight.”

  “How’d it get so late?” He looked at the kitchen clock in disbelief.

  “Time flies when you’re having fun.” I smiled at Gabriel.

  “How are the hounds working out?” Maalik quickly changed the subject.

  “Good.” I smiled at Coreen and Saul, snuggled up together on my bed. They were so tired, they had forgotten about dinner. So had I. My stomach growled.

  “Have you eaten yet?” Gabriel asked.

  “No.”

  “Think your hounds would mind me taking you out for dinner?”

  “I thought you’d be more worried about Maalik,” I laughed.

  “I think Maalik and I are on the same page now.” Gabriel grinned and Maalik blushed.

  “I better get going. I have a lot to do in the morning. If I can work it out with Grim, Gabriel should be able to join your team before you leave for the next soul.” Maalik gave me a peck on the cheek and nodded at Gabriel.

  “See you in the morning,” he said and left the apartment.

  I looked back to Gabriel. “Wow. I’m impressed.”

  “Don’t go all Jesus on me. It just happened. I didn’t plan on liking your new boyfriend. In fact, I had a whole bag of tricks I was ready to test out on him.”

  “What happened?” I dug a leather jacket out of my bedroom closet and pulled it on.

  “When he showed up and you weren’t here, I could tell he was really worried about you. I guessed if you meant that much to him, he wouldn’t be so bad to have around, with your new job and all.” Gabriel opened the apartment door for me.

  “Where are we going to eat?”

  “Purgatory.”

  I stopped in the middle of the hallway and stared at him.

  Gabriel shrugged. “What? They have good food. Besides, I want you to meet someone.”

  “Who?” I asked as we continued down the hall.

  “Well, you’ll meet her when we get there, Pilgrim.” He wagged his eyebrows at me.

  “Her?” I stopped again.

  “What? You think you’re the only one who knows how to meet people?” He grinned and fluttered his wings in mock offense.

  “No. I’m just surprised. Where did you meet her? Wait, let me guess-“

  “Lana, you’re starting to sound like Peter,” he grumbled.

  “That’s what I thought. Purgatory.”

  “Be nice.”

  It was cool outside. Nighttime in Limbo was always cool. During the day it was warmer. Our weather was pretty consistent. That’s how Grim liked it. Occasionally, he would mix it up and pay Zible, a storm god who worked at Bank of Eternity, to make it snow or rain.

  The souls liked snow in December. It didn’t matter how many gods or goddesses they met, Christmas had become immortalized with the ever-erect Christmas tree as its holy symbol. Santa would prevail, even if he was only a collage of random deities.

  Gabriel and I quietly walked the few blocks to Purgatory Lounge. When we got there, two motorcycles were parked outside, along with a rusty Ford pickup.

  “Looks like Xaphen’s here,” I nodded towards the truck. Xaphen was the owner of Purgatory Lounge.

  “Oh! Yeah, I guess so.” Gabriel froze.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing! Nothing.” His eyes were still glued to the truck as he took the last few steps towards the bar.

  “After you.” He grabbed the door. I gave him a puzzled look and stepped inside.

  “Lana! I haven’t seen you in ages,” Xaphen greeted me from behind the bar. Little flames flickered around his crown. He was a fire demon and one of the original fallen angels. He had been the one who came up with the idea to set fire to heaven before all those serving Lucifer were cast out during the war. After tending the flames of the abyss for a few thousand years, Xaphen decided it was time to retire. He relocated to Limbo to fulfill his life-long dream of opening a tavern.

  “Hey there, Xaph.” I tugged off my jacket and hopped onto one of the barstools. “I was wondering what happened to you.”

  “Well, I try not to come in on busy nights anymore. The hair’s a little hazardous around all this alcohol, ya know?” He set down the glass he had been polishing and dug a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket.

  “Gabriel says you have good food here.” I smiled and looked behind me. Gabriel was gone. “He was just here.”

  “He’s probably in the john.” Xaphen shrugged and pressed the tip of his cigarette against his forehead. He took a deep breath and the flames along his brow roared to life. At least he didn’t have to worry about losing lighters. “We’ve got hot wings and baby back ribs on special tonight.”

  “That sounds good. How about an order of each and a pitcher. I’m making Gabriel pay.”

  “Atta girl,” he laughed and strutted through a doorway behind the counter.

  I stole another glance around the bar. There were a couple nephilim playing pool and one soul pumping quarters into the jukebox, determined to play Elvis songs into the wee hours of the morning.

  When I turned back around, Gabriel stood beside me.

  “What the hell!” I jumped. “Were you outside?”

  “Yeah, why don’t we eat somewhere else?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet.

  “I just ordered. What’s wrong with you?” I swatted his arm away and glared at him.

  “I’ll explain later. We’ve just-“

  “Gabe!” Amy, Xaphen’s daughter, appeared out of nowhere and threw her arms around Gabriel’s neck. His face flushed in panic.

  One of the bikes out front had to be hers. Sparkling flames danced up the seams of her leather pants. Her matching jacket rode up her back as she squeezed Gabriel, exposing a tattoo along her lower back that read Aestus, Latin for passionate fire. Just above the firm and shiny curve of her bottom, a slender tail, red as sin, sliced through her leather pants and flicked its pointy tip.

  “Hi, Lana,” Amy greeted me as she released Gabriel and swept her copper curls over her shoulder. “How’s the soul business treating you?”

  “I’m staying busy,” I groaned.

  “You two have met?” Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

  “Once or twice,” Amy laughed.

  “Wait a minute.” I turned to Gabriel. “This is who you brought me here to meet?”

  He blushed and ran a hand through his curls. “Well, yes, but-”

  “Gabriel, you got a death wish or something?”

  Peter was going to have a fit. Amy wasn’t just any demon. She was one of the presidents of Hell. She commanded thirty-six legions, and had no interest in retiring like her father. Her fierce ambition had even caught the interest of Cindy Morningstar. Amy had been Cindy’s right hand lady on the Hell Committee during her campaign for the council position.

  “So, Gabriel.” Xaphen reappeared behind the bar and placed the hot wings and ribs on the counter.

  The flustered angel turned to face him with twitching wings. “Yes, sir?” he squeaked.

  “I hear you’re dating my daughter.” He looked about as thrilled as I imagined Peter would be.

  “Yes, sir,” Gabriel answered.

  Xaphen’s glare migrated to Amy. “It was bad enough when you brought home your human familiars, but an angel? An archangel? What would your mother say? What will your legions say?”

  “I don’t care what they say. After construction on my chateau is completed I’ll have enough work to keep my legions busy until Judgment Day.” Amy cocked a hip and folded her arms.

  “Chateau?” I asked, changing the subject for Gabriel’s sake. Amy brightened at my interest.

  “The Inferno Chateau. It’s going to be fabulous! I bought this quaint little piece of land about a year ago, and construction on my cast
le should be finished any day now. This retreat will be the highlight of Hell. Fire Lake view. Volcanic hiking trails. You’ll have to come and stay for a weekend.”

  “Hmmm.” I nodded and tried to smile. Quaint and Hell just didn’t add up for me. But maybe Maalik would be interested in a weekend getaway.

  “Sound like fun, Gabriel?” Xaphen chuckled.

  “I’d give it try.” Gabriel gave Amy one of his adorably goofy smiles. She beamed and threw her arms around him again. Xaphen rolled his eyes and began filling a pitcher with beer. It wasn’t against the law for an angel and a demon to date, but it could have an effect on your career, not to mention your health, if you weren’t careful.

  “I hear you’ve been having some problems with demons lately.” Amy pulled up a barstool next to me. I frowned at Gabriel as he snatched one of my hot wings.

  “Hey, she might be able to help.” He shrugged.

  “Yeah, we’ve had some problems.” I turned back to Amy.

  “Let me guess, Caim?” she snorted and poured herself a beer.

  “How’d you know?” I shot Gabriel another unpleasant look.

  “I swear, I never mentioned his name.” He pointed his hot wing at me.

  “I have to return to Hell tonight because he’s got someone on the inside trying to recruit my legions. If he thinks my real estate venture means my men are up for grabs, he’s got another thing coming,” Amy smirked.

  “So he’s trying to build an army?” I pushed the basket of hot wings towards her. Talking shop always spoiled my appetite. I had really hoped going to dinner with Gabriel would take my mind off work for a while, but there are some things a girl just can’t run away from.

  “He won’t be building an army with my demons. Here.” She flipped over a cardboard coaster and scribbled something on the back. “This is the address of an old friend of mine. He’s nephilim, but he knows all there is to know about demons.”

  “Nephilim?” I frowned.

  She rolled her eyes and gave me an embarrassed grin. “He paid me to sneak him into Hell so he could find his father.”

  “Did he?”