1 Graveyard Shift

by Angela Roquet

“Well, yes, but it didn’t go the way he had hoped. His father wasn’t exactly thrilled to meet him. The poor kid barely escaped. He hasn’t left Limbo City since. Tell him I sent you and you should get a discount.”

  “What’s he selling?”

  “The answer to all your problems, and hopefully mine too. If my legions see what you do to the next demons you come across, maybe they’ll think twice before joining Caim’s ranks.” She handed me the coaster.

  I was being used, once again. So far, this promotion sucked. At least Amy was being up front with me. And this time I could actually gain something from it.

  “You really think demons are going to find me threatening?” I scoffed.

  “I’m scared already.” She winked at me.

  Chapter 21

  “If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.”

  -Woody Allen

  “I see you’ve figured out a way to pull strings within the council,” Grim sneered at me from behind his desk.

  I wasn’t sure if my discomfort had more to do with his mood or his poor choice in furniture. If I kept finding myself in his office, I was going to have to make a trip to the chiropractor.

  “What are you talking about?” I sighed and crossed my legs, hoping that would ease the ache growing in my lower back.

  “Maalik tells me if I don’t allow your feathered drinking buddy to join your team, he’ll write it up to be voted on by the council. I’ve already got Holly riding my ass about the psychological effects on souls. If we don’t find the right one soon, she’ll be drawing up papers for the council too. Then we’ll never find the soul, and Eternity will be hurled right back into the chaos I saved it from.”

  “You mean that Khadija saved it from?”

  Grim’s face tightened and he narrowed his gaze on me. “Mention her name again, and I’ll show you a chaos she can’t save you from. This isn’t a game Ms. Harvey. If you screw this up, we all go down.”

  “Look, adding Gabriel wasn’t even my idea. But if you do add him to the team, I’m sure Holly will back off. Most Christians love Gabriel. He would take care of the psychological issues with souls, don’t you think?”

  “He damn well better.”

  “Where are we going today?” I scanned over the mountain of paperwork on Grim’s desk for a black folder.

  “You’re going shopping.” He cleared his throat.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, you heard me,” he spat. His cheeks flared as he pushed an envelope across the desk. “I’m going to tell the council that you found the soul. It’s the only way we’re going to find out who’s behind these attacks. Take today off and go spend some money with your team. Tell everyone it’s from your bonus check. Word will get around, but you better be here bright and early tomorrow morning, because the job still needs to be done.”

  I opened the envelope and peeked inside.

  “Holy shit,” I whispered.

  “That’s what I feel like,” Grim groaned. “Bring me the receipts. I’m using them as a write-off.”

  What do you know? Even Death pays taxes. I stood to leave the office.

  “Oh, and Lana?” Grim pressed his fingertips together and glared at me.

  “Yes?”

  “I expect to see you at Coreen’s memorial service this afternoon.”

  “Of course.” I gave him a quick nod and ducked out of the room.

  Ellen was away from her desk. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against Grim’s office door with a sigh.

  The memorial service started at four. I could push it out of my mind long enough to enjoy shopping. Couldn’t I? The council would be there, and I was pretty sure the I-hate-Lana club would be in attendance too. Maybe I could use my bonus check to buy a disguise.

  “What?” Josie gave me a bewildered look. Before she had started working with me, her life had been full of order and predictability. My surprises, and there had been quite a few lately, enraged and confused her most days, but not this time.

  “Shopping? Are you serious?” she laughed.

  “Dead.” I held the check up for her and Kevin to see.

  “Wow.” Kevin leaned in closer. “We have to spend all of it?”

  “Yeah. Grim wants receipts.”

  “Well, we better get going.” Josie stood and then frowned down at her work robe. “Maybe we should change first.”

  “After we stop by the bank. It’ll be more convincing if we look like we’ve just finished the job.” I tucked the check in the front pocket of my robe.

  Bank of Eternity stood like a fortress in the center of Limbo City. Enchanted beams of steel arched over the entrance so that no one could simply jump inside with the flip of a coin. Inside waited a labyrinth of marble hallways lined with metal and charm detectors. You couldn’t so much as catch a glimpse of the teller booths without being searched at least half a dozen times. A stray paperclip in the pocket of my jeans set off the alarms, and we had to go through the whole process again. By the time we made it to the end of the customer line, I was exhausted. And humans think airports are bad.

  The lobby was full of chattering. “I need to wire some coin to Hell.” “This is a deposit for my Nirvana vacation fund.” “Withdrawal for twelve coins, twenty marks each.”

  We finally made it to the front of the line and I placed our check on the counter. The teller tilted her head as she examined the slip of paper.

  “Sorry, but this is an awfully large number. I’ll have to double check it with the account holder.” She smiled nervously and disappeared. After what seemed like an eternity, she returned with Cern, the bank president.

  There was no competition when Cern decided to open a bank in Limbo, and no one opposed him when he proudly named it Bank of Eternity. He was still in favor among the Pagans. They lovingly called him the Horned God or God of the Hunt. But even if the Pagans had forgotten him, I doubted anyone in Eternity would stand in his way, or live to tell about it.

  Cern stood seven feet tall with a rack of antlers that could make any high pedigree buck cower. Gold rings dripped from his horns, chiming like music with each step he took. His smooth locks and penetrating gaze still tugged the heartstrings of most ladies, freezing them somewhere between smitten and petrified.

  “What seems to be the problem,” Cern sighed, drooping his antlers forward.

  “This check,” answered the teller, blushing. “I tried to confirm it with Grim, but he’s in a meeting. His secretary says it’s a bonus check, but I wanted your approval before handing over that much coin.”

  “Bonus check?” Cern’s eyes rolled over the slip of paper. “I’ll say. That’s quite a bonus. Well, if Grim’s secretary approved it, go ahead. It’s not like he doesn’t have the funds.” He gave us half a smile and hurried back to his office. That would get the word out.

  The teller divided the coin into three small bags for us. It didn’t look like much, but we were going to have a hard time spending it all in one day. I found myself wondering what sort of purchases would look best on Grim’s tax return. High heels? Lingerie? Demon Porn? But I also found myself wondering if this was the only bonus check we would receive. It didn’t seem fair that we had to spend it all right away. Oh, the price we pay to save Eternity. Well, the price Grim pays, anyway.

  After leaving the bank, we headed back to the Coexist Complex to change out of our work robes. When Josie and Kevin showed up at my door, I was surprised to find Kevin had changed too.

  “He left some clothes behind when he stayed over the other night,” Josie answered before I had a chance to ask. She gave me a strained smile, the kind she only uses when she’s quietly praying for me to keep my big mouth shut.

  “I’m almost done. Just gotta fix my hair. Come on in.” I hurried back to the bathroom to finish taming my mess of curls. After five more minutes of waging war with the curling iron, I gave up and twisted everything back with a handful of bobby pins.

  Saul and Coreen s
nuggled together on my bed. After their first day on the job with me, Coreen decided she needed a little more comfort than the couch had to offer. I could give them the day off, since we were only going shopping.

  “Where to first?” Josie asked as I pulled on my boots, the same pair she had rendered holy. She raised an eyebrow. “Shoe store?”

  “I have a better idea.” I dug the coaster Amy had given me out of my jacket.

  Warren, Amy’s nephilim friend, lived along the west coast of Limbo, as far away from the harbor as he could get. I guess it made him feel safer. Most demons traveled to Limbo City by boat. Any coin they managed to get their hands on, they saved for the human realm.

  We circled Warren’s block four times before spotting the crumbling steps that led to his basement apartment, hidden behind an avalanche of garbage. The patio, if you could call it that, looked like a ransacked garage sale. A herd of mice unraveled a soggy, wool sweater, while a mangy cat kept watch from a lopsided shelf overflowing with cracked flowerpots and limbless figurines.

  Amy had written down a strict set of knocking instructions. Twice, then once, then three times, pause, then twice more. I knocked and stepped back with Josie and Kevin to wait. A light flickered on behind a tiny, fogged window before a choir of mechanical pops and clicks sounded. The door cracked open.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Amy sent us,” I answered. “We have a demon problem.”

  “Shhhhhh,” he hissed at us.

  Josie inched closer to Kevin.

  “They will hear you. Come in, come in.” Warren opened the door just enough for us to squeeze inside.

  The dim lighting did little to hide the catastrophe he called home. A pile of pizza boxes crawling with mold sat in the corner of the kitchen, and shredded flannel shirts covered the floor and sofa. The one he wore looked like it was ready for the garbage, and I wondered if maybe that’s where he did his shopping.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” He fluttered his wings, shaking off loose feathers, and combed his fingers through his greasy hair.

  “No, thank you.” I smiled. “We really can’t stay long. Can we see your inventory?”

  “Right! Right.” He bent over and shoved a stack of pizza boxes off what had looked like a coffee table, but was instead a chest. He flipped the latch and opened it. Gold silk lined the inside, embroidered with Latin protection spells. Crystal bottles of holy water were stacked off to one side, imprinted with gothic crosses, while an array of charms and holy symbols dangled from the lid. Strapped to the inside of the lid was a double-headed axe. The oldest Latin spells I had ever seen danced up the iron handle, promising strength and endurance. I reached out to touch it, but Warren was quicker. He slapped my hand away.

  “Oh! No, no, no. That’s not for sale.” He paled and pulled his hand away from mine. “So sorry, but that’s not for sale.”

  I glared at him. “Why not?”

  “I, I still need it,” he stammered. His left wing twitched.

  “For what?” I looked around the apartment again. “This place isn’t exactly plagued by demons. And no offense, but it doesn’t look like you get out enough to ever run into one. So what gives?”

  “There’s a demon I have to kill first.” He pushed himself up straighter, trying to project bravery, and then looked down at his flannel shirt with a defeated frown. He couldn’t even fool himself anymore. “There’s a demon that I need to protect myself from.”

  “And when was the last time this demon attacked you?”

  “Many years, but he promised he would come for me. Until that day, I will be prepared. My sources tell me he recently left Hell. So it won’t be long now.”

  Demons generally stayed in Hell. Sure, on the rare occasion a coin found its way into the wrong hands, a rogue demon could terrorize the human realm until a priest preformed an exorcism or the council sent someone to retrieve it. And then there were a few demons who retired or got a temporary passport to vacation in Limbo City, but they had to register first.

  “What’s this demon’s name?” My gaze drifted back to the axe.

  “Why do you need to know?” He wasn’t the most trusting nephilim.

  “If he’s not registered with the council, you have nothing to worry about. There’s a six month waiting period for any demon requesting a passport for Limbo.”

  “Six months is nothing to a demon or me,” he said.

  “No, but it’s enough time for me to take care of him for you.”

  Warren’s wing twitched again. “You’re a reaper, not an assassin. There are laws against what you suggest.”

  Josie laughed and picked up a vile of holy water. “And there are laws that require you to have a license to carry this in Limbo. You do have a license, don’t you Warren?” Josie grinned.

  “Now wait just one minute. Amy would never give you my address if she thought you meant me harm.” Warren stood and backed away from the couch.

  “We don’t.” I frowned at Josie. She put the vial back in the trunk and shrugged.

  “You’re not the only one who bends the rules, Warren.” I gave him a gentle smile. “Sell me the axe. I’ll give you enough coin to pay for six month’s rent at the Holly House.”

  The Holly House was home to Limbo’s most Christian and most paranoid citizens. The tenants were a mixture of angels, nephilim, and even a few senior souls from the factory who had saved up for a decade or two. The place was owned by and named after Holly Spirit, but she didn’t have time to run it. That job was left to her feathered assistants. They made sure their guests were provided with the utmost security. The council even agreed to let them construct an eight foot fountain coursing with holy water for the front lobby, provided they framed and posted their license on the gate outside.

  “The Holly House,” Warren sighed. “That would be lovely, but where will I go after six months?”

  “Like I said, I bend the rules too. Give me the demon’s name.”

  He paused and licked his lips. I could almost see the visions of Holly House dancing behind his eyes. He looked around his apartment one more time, disgust leaking through his expression. “His name is Varren. He told my mother it was Warren. She thought she had named me after him. My human grandmother took care of me after my mother died delivering me, but when my wings began to develop, she prayed for the Virgin to come and take me away. And the Virgin did.”

  “Is that all you can tell me about him?”

  “When he was in Hell, he served under Azazel. I hear not even Azazel knows where he is now. I think I’m ready for the Holly House.”

  “Good.” I reached for the axe, and he didn’t stop me this time.

  It was lighter than it looked, probably from one of the Latin spells. The double blade sparkled, even in the dim light. Warren watched me from behind the couch with awe and worry twisting up his eyebrows. Clearly, the weapon had never been used. Part of me couldn’t help but hope for another demon attack so I could try it out. Stupid? Yes. But the chances of us running into demons again were high enough, it felt like divination instead.

  Chapter 22

  “A religion that gives nothing, costs nothing,

  and suffers nothing, is worth nothing.”

  -Martin Luther

  “Grim’s gonna be pissed when he finds out you didn’t get a receipt from Warren.” Josie sat cross-legged on my new faux leather sofa. At least the fake leather smelled nice. After buying the axe, I couldn’t afford the real thing. But I did have enough coin left to buy a good pair of boots.

  I sat on the edge of my coffee table and laced the charcoal duds up my calves. They were shorter than my last pair, but a whole lot tougher. The heels and toes were reinforced with steel. A cluster of braided leather cords fell over the boot tongues, dangling black barbs around my ankles.

  “He’ll get over it,” I sighed. “You can tell him I bought the axe at the market. That it was too good a deal to pass up, and that the vendor had hooves and couldn’t write out a receipt.”r />
  Kevin frowned. “Everyone knows hoofed vendors employ sprites to help with that sort of thing. And why does Josie have to tell him?” He sat on the sofa next to Josie, flipping through a pamphlet for the Coexist Complex. The only apartment available happened to be on the same floor as Josie’s.

  “Because Lana’s a terrible liar,” she answered for me. “I’ll tell him the pixies were away for lunch.” She folded her arms over her lap, flashing her new charm bracelet, the only luxury item she had bought with her bonus money. Silver holy symbols looped around the leather band tightly fastened to her wrist. She had used most of her coin to sign up for advanced classes and scolded me more than once for not doing the same. Why bother? Hadn’t Grim said he would cover the tuition for my mentoring course? That was enough school for me, thank you.

  “We should go to the memorial service early.” Kevin sighed and tossed the pamphlet on the coffee table.

  “What for?” I scrunched up my face.

  “Because Coreen died working with us.” He folded his arms. “Maybe you didn’t like her, but she still deserves your respect. And she was Saul’s first apprentice. You were his last. You should feel compelled more than anyone to attend.”

  “You’re right,” I groaned and slumped down on the edge of the coffee table. “But you have to remember, there are dozens of reapers far more experienced than the three of us who weren’t picked for Grim’s special little assignment. We’ll be dealing with more resentment than sympathy today. You’ll see. Wear comfortable shoes. You’ll wanna get out of there just as fast as I do before it’s over.” I patted his shoulder and went to dig my nicest robe out of the closet.

  Seeing Seth at Coreen’s memorial service was like catching Hitler lighting Hanukah candles. Hypocrisy at its finest. Three days ago, he had verbally slapped her and belittled Grim for allowing reapers at the council dinner. Now he stood solemnly at the head of the crowd, patting a hand here and there and nodding in sympathy like the good little snake that he was. His eyes locked on me as I entered the park, breaking the façade of sincerity. His pupils darkened and his brow furrowed, but his mouth twisted into a self-assured smirk. I looked away. I didn’t want his attention. The more insignificant he found me, the better.