East End Angel

by Rivers, Carol

  ‘Oh, love, I nearly forgot,’ Gwen shouted. ‘You had a visitor today. A tall chap, good-looking and in uniform.’

  Pearl froze. ‘What sort of uniform?’

  ‘Navy. And he wasn’t no ordinary rating but an officer, by the look of his rings. Said he’d call back.’

  Pearl’s stomach dropped. Ruby hadn’t said Ricky was due leave. She couldn’t know. There was an hour to go before Ruby was home. Would he call again?

  ‘See you later,’ she mumbled, hurrying out.

  When she got in, the baby kicked harder than ever before. A tight cramp went round her stomach. Full of dread, she sat on the chair. She didn’t want to be alone when Ricky called. She prayed Ruby would be home very soon.

  Jim had the trots and they were bad. Everything in the desert was magnified, if not by the sun, then the freezing cold nights when the boulders and silhouetted mountains of sand looked like a lunar landscape. He’d not thought for one minute that he’d be hiding behind a blooming great sand dune, clenching his buttocks and praying that his bowel movement wouldn’t let him down. Rather, he’d imagined himself on a camel like in the films, clad from head to toe in a sheik’s outfit. But the reality was far different. There were no palm trees and belly dancers. Rations had been meagre: a daily helping of bread the size of his fist, a small tin of bully, a few hardtack biscuits and no tobacco. Some of the blokes had been surviving on this since before he joined the battalion in March. They were suffering the effects of diarrhoea and dysentery. He and Blackie had got a real dose.

  As for the Boche, they were dead crafty. They’d shout out in English, trying to mislead them. But the boys of the Long Range Desert Group were no fools. And though Rommel’s Afrika Korps had given a mauling to the Eighth Army, there was fresh hope. General Bernard Montgomery, the hero of Dunkirk, was their new commander.

  A loud crack sounded suddenly. The unit’s guns returned fire. The night lit up like a black-and-white picture show. All the blokes began to scurry here and there. They knew it soon could be hand-to-hand combat.

  ‘You all right, Jim?’ Blackie dropped beside him.

  He nodded, relieved that he was with his old mate. Even though they hadn’t recognized each other when their units had converged. Blackie had lost all his hair. He’d made Jim laugh when he admitted he was more likely to be called Baldy now. The sun had taken its toll on their skins. Blackie was the colour of coffee and Jim’s own skin had been burned red. They were as thin as rakes.

  Jim thought about yesterday. He had blown a man’s head off and stared at the carnage. He’d told God that he was an engineer, not a bloody murderer. The next Boche bullet would have gone through his head if Blackie hadn’t pulled him down. As he’d crouched low under the burning sun, he wished he’d listened to Pearl.

  What was he doing here? He was no hero. He’d taken a life. Probably more than one, but he’d not come face to face with the results before.

  ‘Here, Jim, stick this in yer gob.’ A dog end was pushed roughly into his mouth. ‘Go on, chum, suck it in deep.’

  Jim inhaled and Blackie slapped his back with a heavy hand. ‘Listen, we gotta think of this as a game. Forget yesterday. It’s them or us, ain’t it?’

  Jim nodded, coughing up phlegm. ‘Just getting me bearings,’ he managed to gasp. ‘We’ve been cooped up in this desert for so long I’m losing me noddle.’

  ‘It’s that bloody helmet. It’s too big for you.’

  A runner scrambled over and drew his hand over his sweating face. ‘New orders. We’re reorganizing all the way up to Alam Halfa.’

  Jim and Blackie exchanged glances. ‘Where’s that?’

  ‘It’s a bloody great ridge ten miles behind the front line.’

  ‘Ten miles? You’ve got to be joking.’

  The young soldier shrugged. ‘Wish I was. We’ve been thrown in the deep end. Listen, tomorrow we’re putting a road through a minefield. You’ll be needed up front, Jim. They send the Engineers in first to clear the gaps. And, Blackie, you’re with the first of the Churchills.’

  Blackie groaned. A volley of gunfire cracked in the night.

  ‘And another thing,’ shouted the runner, ‘it’s almost impossible to tell us from them. So watch your arses.’

  Jim crouched on his unsteady knees, his eyes alert for any movement. Blackie dug in beside him and for a while there was silence. Jim felt his stomach tighten. Christ help him if he was still throwing up by morning.

  ‘What’s that?’ shouted Blackie in the darkness. ‘Who goes there?’

  Jim gave a low chuckle. ‘It’s me, you daft bugger. These trots are giving me wind.’

  Blackie laughed aloud in the desert night.

  The evening breeze blew in through the windows. Pearl had her feet up on the couch and was listening to the wireless. There had been heavy Allied losses at Dieppe. Lord Louis Mountbatten had denied that Allied forces had attempted a full-scale invasion of Europe. Rather it was a reconnaissance exercise against the enemy. But with so many casualties, people felt it was another cover-up.

  She looked around the kitchen and wished Jim was here. If he was, Ricky wouldn’t dare to call. Pearl wondered if it might have been better for Ruby to move to Abingley with their parents. Where would Ricky stay if he was on leave? How long was he going to be home?

  Suddenly Pearl heard the sound of laughter. Her heart took a leap as she listened to the steps on the stairs.

  ‘Pearl, look who’s here!’ Ruby called out as she burst in the door and hurried through. ‘Ricky was waiting for me at the factory gates.’

  Ricky slid off his officer’s cap as he followed. ‘Hello, Pearl.’

  His dark eyes found hers and she looked away. ‘I hope you don’t mind me calling?’

  ‘Course she don’t!’ Ruby exclaimed as she glanced at Pearl.

  ‘I’m sorry to hear about Roper’s Way.’

  ‘Thanks,’ Pearl replied coolly.

  Ruby clung to his arm. ‘We’re all safe, and that’s what matters.’

  He smiled at Ruby. ‘You echoed my thoughts. Bricks and mortar aren’t important when lives are at stake.’

  ‘Let’s go and sit in the kitchen. We can catch up on the news.’ Ruby pulled him after her.

  Pearl thought miserably how happy they looked together. Did he really love her? Would Ruby carry out her desire to sleep with him?

  After a while, Ruby appeared, straightening her blouse. She looked flushed and excited. ‘Oh, Pearl, I’m so happy.’

  ‘Yes, I can see.’

  ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw him standing at the factory gates. All the girls nearly fell over themselves when I told them who it was. He looks so handsome in his uniform.’

  ‘Where’s he going to stay?’

  ‘Don’t know. Haven’t had time to ask.’ She giggled as she patted her hair. ‘I took me turban off quick. I wished I could have looked more glam when he met me at work.’

  ‘How long has he got?’

  ‘Two weeks. He’s been in sickbay for six, which is why he didn’t write, as he didn’t want to worry me. His ship got sunk and he was rescued.’

  ‘Is he all right now?’

  ‘He looks it to me.’ She giggled again.

  ‘Does he have any family to stay with?’

  ‘No, don’t think so. Pearl, can he stay to supper?’

  ‘What, here?’ Pearl lowered her feet to the floor.

  ‘Of course here.’ Ruby’s chin stuck out as she frowned. ‘After all, he has been away a year and got shipwrecked. But if you don’t want him around, then we’ll go out.’

  ‘It’s not that,’ Pearl lied. ‘I haven’t got much in.’

  ‘Gwen gave us some tinned fish. And there’s spuds in the larder. I’ll do something with the carrots and onions – you won’t have to lift a finger.’

  Pearl felt very selfish and didn’t have the heart to refuse. Although she didn’t want Ruby to think that she was encouraging a regular habit. But Ruby looked so crestfallen at her hesitati
on that she finally nodded. ‘I’ll cook the dinner,’ she said standing up and wishing her ankles weren’t so swollen. Her utility maternity dress looked like a tent above them. ‘I’m sure you’ve both got lots to talk over.’

  Ruby ran to hug her. ‘Oh, thanks. I knew it would all be all right in the end.’

  As she worked in the kitchen Pearl listened to the soft murmur of voices in the living room, then a few muffled sounds; she knew how desperate Ruby would be for those kisses. But would Ruby fall straight into bed with him? And if so, where would they go?

  She mashed the smelly sardines, trying not to think of what Jim would say if he knew Ricky was eating a meal under his roof. But Ruby was her only sister after all. And this was a one-off occasion.

  Pearl jumped as the pan of potatoes sizzled loudly on the stove. ‘Ouch!’ She leaned against the draining board, as the baby kicked. Lowering the pan to the draining board, she took a deep breath. The midwife had told her to try to relax when this happened, breathe in and out slowly. Closing her eyes, she went through her routine as the tightness round her stomach wore off. When she opened them, she saw herself in Jim’s shaving mirror. Sweat glistened on her brow. Her Veronica Lake hairstyle had turned into lank, uncombed waves on her shoulders. The bloom of motherhood had vanished under the tension brought on by Ricky’s arrival.

  To think, she used to be so particular about her appearance. Now she had huge ankles and a large belly. If only Jim were here. None of this would be happening. If he hadn’t enlisted, Ruby would have gone to live in Abingley. Ricky would have gone to visit her there. Life in Pride Place would have been undisturbed. But that was not to be. Now she had to make the best of a bad situation.

  During the meal, Ricky described his time at sea. The Arctic convoys were considered very dangerous, but he seemed to enjoy the excitement, his dark eyes shining as he told them of his adventures. Pearl listened to his smooth voice as he described the valiant merchant ships under threat from the many U-boats. For a moment she lost herself in the vivid picture he painted. As much as the British warships tried to protect their little brothers and the supplies destined for England, there were many losses. Almost 100,000 tons of cargo had sunk to the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. Despite the Royal Navy’s best efforts, only eleven of the thirty-seven merchant ships of his convoy had made it. He admitted that he had been remarkably lucky when his ship had been torpedoed by a U-boat. The light cruiser had been badly disabled and the crew had been rescued from the freezing sea as they huddled in a dinghy. Since then he had spent six weeks in sickbay.

  ‘That was delicious, thank you,’ Ricky said, leaving nothing on his plate.

  ‘Yes, it was,’ grinned Ruby. ‘She’s getting better.’

  Pearl looked at the three empty dishes. ‘I’m afraid there’s no pudding.’

  ‘Doesn’t matter,’ said Ruby.

  ‘I couldn’t eat a thing more,’ agreed Ricky.

  Pearl began to collect the plates but Ricky protested. ‘You shouldn’t be doing chores in your condition. It was enough that you cooked dinner. Leave the clearing away to us.’

  Ruby nodded. ‘Yes, go and sit down. You’ve been on your feet all day.’

  Pearl didn’t argue. She sat on the couch and lay back . . .

  It seemed much later when she heard Ruby’s voice. ‘Pearl?’

  She sat up, blinking. ‘I must have dropped off.’

  Pearl looked at Ricky, who was sitting in the chair by the fire. Memories of the feelings she’d once had for him all came back in a rush.

  ‘I waited to say goodbye,’ he said quietly.

  Pearl felt the baby move. She gave a little whimper.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Ricky and Ruby asked together.

  ‘He don’t like sharing his space with the sardines.’

  Ricky laughed. ‘You think it’s a boy?’

  ‘He’s always on the go,’ Ruby smiled as she sat beside Pearl. ‘And November seems a long way off.’

  ‘November?’ Ricky repeated. ‘Then this Christmas will be a very special one.’

  ‘I hope Jim will be home,’ Pearl said quickly. ‘Perhaps he can get special leave.’

  ‘Ruby said he’s in the desert,’ Ricky said as he adjusted his long legs under the sleek navy twill of his trousers and sat forward. ‘Our boys in Africa are having it tough. I heard through the grapevine there was very little progress for some while, as Auchinleck fell out of favour with Churchill. But now they have a new leader, General Bernard Montgomery. The campaign should hot up.’

  ‘We’ve read about Monty in the paper,’ said Ruby, looking at Pearl. ‘They say he has all the looks that Winnie hasn’t, and the brains to go with it.’

  Ricky nodded. ‘I can vouch for the brains. He’s already seized the initiative when Rommel tried to push into Egypt. The danger will be when Rommel regroups; the battle for El Alamein will be the most crucial of the desert war.’

  Pearl felt alarmed. Would Jim be in this battle?

  ‘I must go now.’ Ricky rose to his feet. ‘I’ve kept you late enough. Goodbye and thank you for the excellent meal,’ he said quietly, sliding an arm round Ruby’s waist.

  After they’d left, Pearl sank back against the cushions. Ricky had frightened her with his talk of the battles in Africa. A year ago Jim hadn’t known one end of a gun from the other. In wartime, it seemed men became machines in the blink of an eye.

  When Ruby come back she was smiling. ‘Oh, Pearl, he’s my Mr Wonderful.’

  ‘Where’s Mr Wonderful staying?’ Pearl asked, unable to keep the strain from her voice.

  But Ruby didn’t hear it. ‘In a hostel, up Poplar. I wish I could take time off work to be with him but I can’t.’ Ruby sighed as she sat down. ‘If I did I’d lose me job. And Mr Brewer has been very good to me.’

  ‘Yes, he has.’

  ‘Although I was tempted,’ Ruby added with a grin.

  Pearl saw the look of love in her eyes. Her little sister was well and truly besotted.

  All week Ruby didn’t stop to gossip with the factory girls and stroll lazily back home in the evening. She also put aside her first-aid courses and could hardly eat for excitement. No sooner than she had gulped down her tea, than she went to prepare her clothes for the evening. Though nothing had been said, she hadn’t invited Ricky in again. Each evening they met outside the shop. For a while, Pearl could hear their voices, then she would go to the window and watch them walk away. They were always hand in hand or had their arms round each other. Pearl ached for Jim.

  She listened for every bit of news from the desert after Ricky had told them about El Alamein. But mostly it was Europe that took the headlines. The Germans had killed 50,000 Jews in Warsaw and the British air force had dropped 100,000 bombs on Dusseldorf. How could humanity be doing this, Pearl wondered, at exactly the same time as she was bringing a new life into the world? Would the war be over by November? She knew it couldn’t be, but she still held out hope.

  When a letter arrived from her parents, asking her to go to Abingley, she knew the tiring journey was beyond her.

  On the Sunday of Ricky’s last week, Ruby came home in the early hours. ‘We’ve been to this little club in the Strand,’ she told Pearl excitedly. ‘Ricky bought us cocktails and oh, Pearl, it was so glamorous. Afterwards we walked all along the Embankment.’

  ‘I hope you’ll be able to get up in the morning.’ Pearl hadn’t been able to sleep as the baby was so restless.

  ‘Don’t spoil me fun.’

  ‘I’m not. I only want what’s best for you.’

  ‘If you did, you would have made Ricky feel at home,’ Ruby said resentfully.

  Pearl shrugged. ‘I haven’t felt up to company.’

  ‘Then you should have said,’ Ruby answered in a high voice. ‘There was me thinking it was to do with us.’

  Pearl didn’t want another argument over Ricky. ‘You can bring him up for supper tomorrow night.’

  But Ruby tossed her head. ‘As it happens, I’m having
the day off from work. Ricky is taking me up West to stay at a hotel.’

  Pearl’s jaw dropped.

  ‘Don’t look at me like that,’ Ruby scowled. ‘It’s only one night.’

  ‘Does Mr Brewer know?’

  ‘Not yet. I’ll just say I was sick.’ Ruby waved her hands. ‘Don’t look so shocked, everyone does it once in a while. What difference is one little white lie going to make?’

  ‘All right, all right.’ Pearl gave up. ‘You’re old enough to know what you’re doing.’ Just then the baby moved.

  ‘Pearl?’ Ruby hurried beside her.

  ‘I’m all right.’

  ‘What shall I do?’ Ruby grabbed her hand anxiously. ‘Shall I go for the doctor?’

  ‘No, don’t fuss.’

  ‘Is it a labour pain?’

  Pearl felt the sweat trickle in between her breasts. ‘Help me up, will you?’

  Ruby took her arm. ‘If you’re trying to put me off babies, you’re doing a good job.’

  Pearl grinned. ‘Now I’ve got to go to the lav.’

  ‘I’ll come with you. It’s dark out there.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ve put a pail in me room. But come here and say good night.’

  They hugged, both careful to avoid the bump. A faint whiff of soap from Ruby’s skin took Pearl back to Roper’s Way. As kids they would sit in the tin bath in front of the fire, spreading soap over each other’s backs. It seemed such a long time ago now.

  ‘You can borrow me blue frock tomorrow,’ Pearl said, happy to see the smile back on Ruby’s face. If only she could share Ruby’s joy, but the man her sister loved was Ricky. And she could never tell Ruby of the heartache he had caused or warn her that it could happen again.

  Chapter 12

  When Ruby came home the day after next, she rushed into the kitchen. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling. ‘Pearl! Pearl! I’ve got some wonderful news!’

  Pearl looked up from the draining board where she was preparing the vegetables for dinner, a smile on her face. But it soon faded as Ruby threw down her bag and extended her hand. ‘What do you think of this? It’s a real sapphire and diamonds. Ricky told me to pick the ring I liked and not worry about the cost.’