Afterburn: a novel

by Zane

  “I didn’t think you were, but I needed to know. When you do start, I gotta get you on the pill. I ain’t even tryin’ to be a grandma. I’m too sexy and way too fine for all that.”

  I giggled. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

  “Baby, I’m too tired to crawl in my room. Can I crash in here?”

  “Sure, Momma,” I quickly answered. If it took allowing her to sleep with me—liquor breath and all—to get her to shut her trap, it was well worth it.

  I scooted over farther on the bed, pressing myself up against the wall, as she slipped off her three-inch pumps and climbed underneath the comforter with me.

  We both stared up at Prince. Sexy motherfucker.

  “You know Momma loves you, baby?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. That’s real good.”

  She started humming “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye—her favorite song—until we both drifted off to sleep as the sun was coming up. By ten, I was on the highway with Chance and Ruiz, headed for Six Flags.

  Two

  Yardley Brown, Age 16

  White Oak, MD

  September 1990

  I wanted my sixteenth birthday to be special; I really did. However, can you say overkill? Felix, Dwayne, and Mike were my boys and all, but I wasn’t even trying to go the direction they took my birthday party in.

  I’d invited Roxie to the party. My parents were out of town and it was the perfect opportunity to get to know her better. Roxie was a year older than me but hanging onto her virginity like it was the eighth wonder of the world. I couldn’t say I blamed her. As fine as she was, she could afford to be selective. Every boy in our high school wanted to crawl in between her long, sienna legs and dig her back out.

  Roxie had this long, wavy black hair that I yearned to run my fingers through. Her huge dark brown eyes gave me a hard-on every time I gazed into them. Roxie was in my Physics class and I couldn’t concentrate on our teacher most of the time. I was too busy daydreaming about her.

  It was her clothes. Her hair. Her smell. She wasn’t trashy like a lot of the girls in school. The majority of them wore skirts riding up their asses—even though it was against the dress code that no one enforced—and always had makeup caked on their faces. Roxie’s eyelashes were naturally long and thick, unlike the girls whose eyelashes stuck together while little balls of black gook dropped onto their cheeks from using too much mascara. Roxie was different. She had class and she was my woman….

  …In my mind. All I needed was the space and opportunity to convince her. That was why I’d invited her over to Mike’s for my birthday party. I’d hoped to convince her to go home with me since my parents were gone for the weekend. We could have the place all to ourselves.

  There were fine girls on top of fine girls that night. I was trying to figure out where they’d come from. They surely didn’t attend the same school as me. We’d expected a lot of girls but we’d hit the lottery. Surely, it had something to do with Felix recently becoming single. Even back then, Felix could’ve beaten out any brother in the Player of the Year Competition. That included men twice his age.

  Felix and Donna had dated for three years, much to the dismay of all the girls trying to bed him. Donna had dropped Felix faster than most people could blink when she’d caught him in the boys’ locker room doing the nasty with her twin sister Dana. Felix had always wanted both twins and his hard work and perseverance had paid off. However, he didn’t bother to get Donna’s permission first. Donna had beaten her sister’s ass and then they’d made up and blamed it all on Felix. He was hurt—for two days—and then was ready to move on.

  You’d think that I would’ve learned from Felix’s mistakes but we tend to do stupid things when we’re young. Never once do we consider that the repercussions aren’t worth it. Such was the case when I’d agreed to go upstairs to Mike’s bedroom with “a woman of the night.”

  My boys had decided that sixteen years was way too long for any brother to live without tapping at least one ass. Two years ahead of me in sexual activity, they were tired of me never having any freaky tales to share. They’d decided to scrape together all their available cash on hand—mostly beer money—and purchase my very first piece of pussy.

  Angel, who definitely didn’t live up to her name, was gorgeous without a doubt. Her skin was dark, like a juicy plum, and she had the largest breasts I’d ever seen in person. Being more experienced now, looking back, I’d say that she had to be filling up every millimeter of a 42DDD bra. She was hot and trampy; like the women in Mike’s porno films we used to watch.

  “You got a big ass dick for a teenager!”

  Angel was sitting on the bed staring at my privates. She called it “a routine inspection.” Standing there with my jeans and boxers tangled around my ankles, I felt so violated. Angel’s face was close enough to my hard dick for me to feel her breath on it.

  “Thanks, I guess,” I muttered, stunned by her remark.

  Angel lifted up the shaft of my dick and fingered my balls. Not in a romantic way. It was more like a “let me make sure there aren’t any bumps underneath them” way. I didn’t have any sexual diseases; unless you could get them from whacking off.

  She finally quit messing around down there. “Trust me, little brother, you’re hung like a horse compared to some of these rabbit-dick men out here. With some of the teeny-weeny ones, I’m not even sure I’m actually being fucked. Know what I’m saying?”

  “No, not really,” I said nervously.

  Angel kicked off her shoes as she leaned back on her elbows. When the room suddenly smelled like musty feet, I wondered if the rest of her was clean.

  “So, Yardley, that’s a crazy name for a brother. That sounds like some shit from Scotland or someplace like that.”

  “It was my great-grandfather’s name,” I told her. “And, as a matter of fact, he was from Scotland.”

  “Ah, so someone had a little jungle fever? Ain’t a damn thing wrong with that.”

  I ignored her comment. “Can we please get on with this?”

  Angel was smacking a wad of gum from side to side in her mouth. “Cool by me. So, Yardley, what you wanna do first?”

  “I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to be there; rather less what I wanted to do first. My mind flashed to Roxie. I lifted my wrist to peep my watch. It was ten-fifteen and Roxie had told me she probably wouldn’t be able to make it before eleven. She was stuck with babysitting her younger brother until her parents came home from a dinner dance. The forty-five minute time frame helped me to relax slightly. “What do you usually do, Angel?”

  She sat up and grabbed my dick. “Since I’ve completed my inspection and I’m down here anyway, want me to suck it for you?”

  My first blow job. Damn, was I ready for that?

  “Is it going to hurt?”

  Angel suppressed a laugh; even though I could tell she wanted to ridicule me.

  “Naw, sugar. I’m a professional. If there’s one thing I know how to do, it’s suck a damn dick.”

  What a powerful statement. Even though I didn’t think it was physically possible, my dick got even harder as the words left her lips. Angel took the gum from her mouth and stuck it on the corner of Mike’s nightstand.

  “Relax, Yardley.”

  Angel dove in, drawing my entire dick into her mouth without blinking an eye. I started making noises I didn’t realize I was capable of making. After a brief two minutes of “oohs” and “aahs” emitting from my throat, I busted my first nut that hadn’t been the result of using my own hand.

  Angel couldn’t hold it in any longer and fell out laughing. I collapsed on the bed so I could attempt to regain some composure. I damn sure wasn’t supposed to come that fast. I never knew it would feel so wonderful to place my dick into a woman’s mouth. I didn’t think I could handle sticking it in her mouth and her pussy in the same night; a frightening concept to an inexperienced teenage boy.

  “I think that’s about it for you
, sugar,” Angel said, obviously recognizing that I could not even hang with her. “It’s a shame.” She touched my dick and it hurt because it was still sensitive from the orgasm I’d endured. “You have so much potential with that big, juicy dick of yours. What a waste.”

  Angel retrieved her gum, plopped it back into her mouth, and slipped back into her shoes. Thank goodness for that! She snapped her purse open and started digging through it.

  “Tell you what. Let me give you my business card and brochure. Give me a call sometime next week. If I’m in a good mood, I might finish the job for free.”

  I was floored. “You have a brochure?”

  “Absolutely! Like I said, I’m a professional. How do you think your friends found me in the first place?”

  Angel handed me a full-color business card with her picture, along with a matching brochure. The brochure listed Angel’s special skills and featured her in various sets of raunchy lingerie. Apparently, she could tie a cherry string with her tongue, she was double-jointed, and she had no problem giving or receiving golden showers.

  Sick, sick, sick! At that point, I couldn’t wait to get Angel out of the house. Being a graduate of UHT, the University of Home Training, I decided some form of thanks was in order.

  “Thanks for everything, Angel. That was very nice.” I extended my hand.

  She shook it. “Anytime, baby boy.” Angel headed for the bedroom door after gathering her belongings.

  I pulled up my pants and zippered them.

  “I meant what I said. Call me.” She held her fingers up to her cheek, spreading them to mimic a telephone, and then disappeared from my line of vision.

  After going into the bathroom to take a leak and wash my face, I went downstairs. Angel was gone. However, Roxie was there; attitude and all. I saw her hand before I saw her face, when she slapped me clear across mine. It stung something fierce.

  “Yardley, how could you do this to me?” Roxie screamed at me, with dozens of party guests looking on. “How could you?”

  Roxie pushed her way through the crowd and out the front door before I could say a word in my own defense. Not that I had a defense. Never had I felt so ashamed and disappointed at the same time. There was no way Roxie would give me another chance. Our love affair was over before it had even begun.

  Being his typical self, Mike tried to pretend like Roxie hadn’t slapped the shit out of me. It was like it had never happened. “Man, that was quick. Must’ve been some good booty.”

  “For what we paid for it, it ought to be good and tight,” Felix said.

  Dwayne wasn’t buying into that pipe dream. “A hooker with a tight booty? Man, get real!”

  I was speechless. Mike waved his hand in front of my face, snapping me out of a trance.

  “You sweating Roxie?” Felix asked. “Forget that skeezer, man. She wasn’t trying to handle her business, so we got you someone who would.”

  They exchanged high-fives while the girls in the room all huddled over by the sofa like an NFL team. Talking trash about us, more than likely. My little escapade was destined to be the talk of the school for a solid week. Maybe I’d fake sick or something.

  I went into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the fridge, leaving the boys standing in the living room guffawing and cracking jokes about me. As the ice-cold liquid hit the back of my throat, the expression on Roxie’s face invaded my thoughts. It was an expression of pain. I vowed right then and there never to intentionally hurt another woman in my entire life. Once I did become sexually active, I was determined to treat women with respect and compassion. I’d never prey on them and think of them as nothing but pieces of ass. Unfortunately, by deciding to be as gentle as a lamb, I was setting myself up to be the prey.

  Three

  Rayne Waters, Age 19

  University of Alabama

  Thanksgiving Day 1994

  I’d decided to stay at school during Thanksgiving. I couldn’t deal with Momma and her drinking, which had gotten progressively worse. Chance was my roommate and had gone home to spend the day with the Martinez clan. She’d tried to insist that I join her but I felt uncomfortable being around Ruiz and his new bride. My puppy-love crush had turned into more—much more—during my senior year in high school. In fact, I’d ended up giving Ruiz my virginity. Up until that point—one Saturday night at the drive-in movies—I’d simply done a lot of “dry fucking” with various boys. None of them were manly enough for me to actually “grace with the booty” so I’d refused to give it up. Then came that fateful night when Ruiz was supposed to be driving Chance and me to the movies to see New Jack City. Chance came down with strep throat, after making out with these two freaky boys from our rival school behind the bleachers at a football game. Ruiz had called to tell me that he still planned to go see it and asked if I wanted to go see it alone with him.

  The way he’d spoken the words—“Rayne, you want to go hang out with me and just little ol’ me?”—made my panties wet. First of all, there wasn’t a damn thing “little” about Ruiz. He was cut from top to bottom and worked out at the local Bally’s religiously. Secondly, my hormones were out of control. Getting any amount of attention from the boy that I’d masturbated myself to sleep thinking about countless times was a welcomed change.

  It had taken me forever to decide what to wear. Silly now that I think about it. At a drive-in movie, no one can see what you have on. But I wanted to impress Ruiz, so I threw the majority of the clothes out of my closet onto my bed before finally deciding on a cute pink outfit—a pair of leggings with a baby doll top to match. I pinned my hair up in a bun and let one strand of hair dangle over my left eye. I’d seen a picture of Iman, the famous fashion model, in a magazine with a similar look and attempted to emulate it.

  Momma was out doing her regular dirt at the Eagle so I snuck into her room and raided her makeup caddy, applying some rouge, lipstick, and eyeliner the best that I could. I never wore more than lip gloss but I wanted to look older for Ruiz; hoping that he’d forget my real age.

  When Ruiz pulled up in his t-top red Camaro and blew the horn, I had to fight to suppress the scream building up in my throat. This was really happening. I was going out on an actual date with Ruiz Martinez—even though I was sure he didn’t view it as a date.

  We got to the Majestic Drive-In and there were people from my school everywhere. A black or Latino movie coming out back in those days was still considered special so everyone in our school would rush to see it on release day. Otherwise, they’d feel left out on Monday morning, when everyone started talking about how awesome it was. Back then, no matter what the movie was about—even if it was derogatory to blacks and Latinos and made us all out to be drug dealers and gangsters—it was still awesome because “we” were in it.

  I was mad that I couldn’t show Ruiz off more. If we’d gone to a regular theater, I could’ve sported him on my arm as eye candy. On the other hand, the drive-in meant that we could be completely alone to do whatever, without people watching us instead of the movie. I did get to show him off briefly, when we went inside to get popcorn, Twizzlers, and cola with cherry fountain syrup. Jessica Wilson, who I knew for a fact also had a thing for Ruiz, almost shit herself when she saw us together. Even though it wasn’t an official date, I made it seem that way by giggling at his every comment and rubbing my fingers up and down his arm while we waited in line for our turn.

  Jessica was there with Langston, the captain of the football team. While he was fine enough, his head was way too up in the clouds for me to ever be interested. When it came down to it, Langston cared about his looks more than he cared about the looks of the girl on his arm. It was his world and anyone who didn’t like it could step. I’d spent an hour talking to him on the phone once. I caught on quick, five minutes into the conversation, that he was only calling to feel me out and see if I would be an easy lay for him.

  Boys were so silly; thinking that we weren’t up on their immature games. Sure, some girls were still in that naïve stage but m
ost of us knew the deal. Momma had definitely educated me. I’d never gotten over the fact that she’d had sex with Chance’s daddy. Often times, when I was over their house visiting, I’d sit there and stare at him, wondering if his wife even suspected that he was cheating. When he’d leave out saying he was going to the store or had to go back to work to do some overtime, I’d think he was headed to one of the local strip clubs instead. Momma’s revelation had changed my entire outlook on men. The one man that I would’ve sworn was faithful had turned out to be banging numerous other women. Lack of trust had become a major hang-up for me before I’d even had my first serious relationship.

  Still, part of me hoped that Ruiz was different. Not that I thought he and I would hook up, but he was my fantasy man and I wanted to at least believe that his scruples were better than his father’s.

  We were back in his Camaro, watching the film, and chowing down on popcorn when Ruiz came out the blue and asked, “Rayne, you have the hots for me, don’t you?”

  Had he really just asked me that?

  “What?” I replied in astonishment.

  “I asked if you have the hots for me.” He took my left hand into his right and started playing with my fingers.

  “Ruiz, you know you’re like a brother to me.”

  I could see his eyebrows rise in the dim lighting of the car. He took his free hand and turned the volume down on the speaker that was hooked onto the driver’s side window. “So it’s just my imagination that you’re looking different tonight to impress me?”

  I let out this hideous fake laugh; a nervous one. “Different? What’s different about me?”

  “The tight pants. The makeup. The high heels you can hardly walk in.”

  He was right on the money about the heels. I’d almost busted my ass three times on the way to and from the concession stand.

  “Ruiz, I always dress like this,” I lied. “You probably haven’t noticed before; since you’ve known me so long. Chance and I are both growing up.”