Something Like Happy

by Sasha Greene

  Nick put his head to one side for a few moments, as if considering her words. Jade found that she cared very much indeed about his answer.

  ‘Will hugs be allowed?’ It was so totally not the response she had been expecting that Jade had to smile. Relief flooded through her.

  ‘Yes, hugs are allowed.’ Jade had to hand it to him. ‘After all we’re friends, aren’t we? Wouldn’t want your oxytocin levels dropping too low.’

  ‘Friends.’ Nick took one of her hands and squeezed them again, and Jade felt anything but. Still, she would try to guard her heart just a bit longer. Although she had to admit that it might be a losing battle already.

  ‘Hey.’ Nick suddenly thumped his fist in his palm, startling Jade. ‘You looked it up.’ He must have seen her puzzled face. ‘Oxytocin. The happy drug.’

  Jade laughed. She loved how his brain could jump around from one random topic to the other. ‘Yeah. I looked it up. Seemed like both of us could do with a bit more of it in our lives.’

  Nick nodded. ‘Yep. Never going to complain about a bit of that.’ He winked at her, and Jade felt her heart melt just a little bit more.

  ‘So, what’s the next thing on the list?’ He drained the dregs of his cup and set it down, wincing at the bitterness.

  ‘Well.’ Jade had to smile again. ‘The next thing is, do some exercise. But,’ she held up her hand as he looked like he was going to speak, ‘not something like yoga. A proper cardio workout. Like a spinning class or something.’

  Nick considered a minute. ‘Well, I could take you for a run, but you’d never make it.’

  She had already opened her mouth to blast off a retort when she realised he was teasing her and shut it again. Besides, he was probably right. She was pretty fit from the yoga and all the walking she did – Glasgow was pretty hilly – but running? That was a different ball game. Or a different sport actually. She smiled at her own humour.

  ‘Are you going to let me in on the joke?’ Nick looked at her questioningly.

  She shook her head. ‘Not important. What is important is this running thing. And there’s only one way to find out.’

  Chapter 10

  Much to Nick’s surprise, Saturday did actually dawn bright and fair. It was only the beginning of May, but then that was no guide at all in this part of the country. They had planned to go to the yoga class and then for a run afterwards, but Jade had texted him on Friday evening to say that given the beautiful weather forecast it would be better to take the bus up to Loch Lomond and have a picnic, and then go for a run. Nick was always suspicious when the weather predictions were so good, but for once it looked like the forecasters had got it bang on.

  He met Jade at the bus station, and they swung into their seats, giggling like teenagers and causing the driver to look at them suspiciously. Jade was wearing a close-fitting khaki t-shirt that curved delightfully around her breasts. It was another reason to be happy for the warm weather.

  The bus took its time, winding through the low hills, which were patched with grass and heather. After almost an hour they got off in Balmaha at the edge of the loch. It was a tiny place really, not much more than a collection of a few white-painted houses with a pub and a tiny shop.

  Nick motioned to Jade. ‘The beach is about another mile up the road.’

  ‘Hang on.’ Jade was already wandering across to a small park. ‘I just want to have a look at this.’

  It was a bronze statue of a cheery walker, with a bobble hat on his head.

  ‘Tom Weir.’ Jade read from the plaque which was standing beside it. ‘Looks like he was a pretty keen walker.’

  ‘Yeah, my dad knew him. He used to stay in our B&B when he came up our way.’ Having seen the man in real life, Nick thought it was a pretty good likeness.

  Jade turned to him, surprise obvious on her face. ‘Really? That’s pretty cool. You can use it as your claim to fame.’

  ‘Claim to fame?’ Nick hadn’t thought about it before. To him Tom had just been the guy who had shown him how to tie knots and lace up his boots properly. But he realised she wasn’t really being serious.

  ‘So what’s your claim to fame then?’ He started off down the path that would take them to his favourite bit of beach.

  Jade almost stumbled over his feet as he turned to check that she was following him. He put out a hand to steady her, and his fingers brushed against the edge of one of the breasts that he had been admiring when they were on the bus. He pulled his hand back as if he had been burned. Looking was one thing, but touching was a completely different matter. Touching was dangerous. Touching made him want to pull her into his arms and kiss her. He started off down the path again, his face burning, not waiting to see if she was right behind him.

  Jade had felt the touch on her right boob as Nick had grasped her arms to steady her. If she hadn’t already been wobbling after almost tripping over him, she probably would have anyway. She could tell it had been by accident, but it had felt like a lover’s caress. It made her wonder what it would be like to have him touch her there again. But then again, her experience with those sorts of things was not exactly extensive. In her first relationship neither of them had had enough experience to really know what they were doing. And the other one … well, let’s just say it had been OK. Sex, really, she could take it or leave it.

  She suddenly realised that Nick was waiting for her at a bend in the path and hurried to catch up. She had read in books about great sex, but really, wasn’t that just fantasy? It was important to keep a good line between fantasy and reality. She smiled as she caught up with Nick. It was a good thing he couldn’t read her thoughts. If he knew how far they had fallen into the gutter then he would probably be shocked.

  They continued in silence up a small slope and down another, just enjoying the sunshine and the sounds of the birds. The path curved towards the loch, and Nick stopped for a minute, just to take in the amazing view. Two tiny clouds above the hills on the opposite shore were all that broke up the amazing colour of the sky. The loch twinkled blue to match the sky above. A sigh that was obviously delight escaped his lips.

  ‘My vote,’ he looked at his watch, ‘is have some lunch, sunbathe for a bit to let things settle, go for a run, and then jump in the loch to cool off.’

  Jade had been nodding along until he came to the last bit. ‘Jump in the loch? Are you crazy? It’ll be freezing.’

  Nick raised one eyebrow at her. ‘Are you saying you didn’t bring your swimmers then like I told you to?’

  Jade had, but she still wasn’t keen on the idea. ‘Yessss, but I was still hoping to talk you out of that bit.’ She set off again towards the beach. ‘Let’s discuss that bit later, OK?’

  By the time they got down onto the beach it was pretty hot and Jade was starting to feel a bit more amenable to the idea of a dip. There were already a few other people on the beach. Two small children were fishing in the shallows with tiny nets. They found a patch of shade further along the beach where a gnarled grey tree spread its green leaves over the pebbles on the shore and sat themselves down. The picnic soon disappeared, and they lay on their backs on the gravel, staring up at a single tiny cloud that was travelling slowly but surely towards the sun.

  ‘I went to see Archie this week.’ Nick’s voice sounded quiet, as if he was reluctant to break the silence that had stolen over them.

  ‘I know. Lily told me.’ Jade matched his tone, then yawned. She was feeling pretty sleepy after all the food.

  Nick laughed. ‘I forgot you have a hotline to the heart of the action.’

  ‘How is he doing anyway?’

  ‘The usual. Everything seems to be healing up fine. Lily said any bump to his head could only make him less crazy, but I don’t think he did actually have any head injuries at all. It’s just the arm. He says it itches like crazy though. He’s borrowed a knitting needle from Sandra so he can have a good scratch.’

  He scratched his chin, and Jade could hear the sound of his fingers against the stubble that
he hadn’t shaved that morning. ‘I do still feel a bit guilty though. If I had been looking where I was going …’ His voice trailed off.

  Jade rolled over onto one elbow, looking down at him. He had one hand tucked behind his head, stretching his t-shirt up so she could see just a glimpse of his toned stomach. For someone who worked in an office he was pretty fit.

  ‘You can’t change the past.’ Her heart twisted as she thought of how many times she told herself that every day. How easy it was to give advice. But how hard it was to follow it. ‘I was the one who was rushing you. I was just worried about the weather. So stupid.’

  ‘A good friend told me that you can’t change the past.’ Nick smiled up at her, turning his head towards her a fraction. It felt really good to have him next to her like this. And in that moment, she felt a longing that was so intense that she almost bent her head and kissed him. Wasn’t it better to just seize the day instead of worrying about the future? Wouldn’t the good part of being with him outweigh the bad?

  You are so overthinking this. You just need to jump in with both feet or back off totally, otherwise this is going to drive you crazy. She lay back down, folding her hands underneath her head as she gazed at the view across the loch towards the green and purple slopes opposite. It was so peaceful here. There were a few other people on the beach, but they also seemed caught by the calm of the day and were speaking in low voices as they chatted. A gentle breeze kept the midges away.

  ‘I would have thought there’d be more people here.’ Jade stretched again. The warmth of the sun felt so good on her skin.

  ‘Most people get stuck in Balmaha and never find out this place exists. I only found out because someone else told me about it.’ Nick closed his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have been watching Jade out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn’t help it. If she knew just how amazing she looked every time she stretched …

  It was time to go for a run. It had been at least an hour since lunch, and they should probably wait longer, but if they spent any more time like this then he was going to do something that he would regret. Well, he wouldn’t regret it, but Jade probably would. Which was even worse.

  He pushed himself to his feet. ‘Come on. Time for you to put your money where your mouth is. Let’s do this thing.’

  Jade looked up at him, shading her eyes against the sun. ‘Really? Are you sure?’

  He nodded, reaching out a hand to pull her up. ‘Come on, lazy bones. We can leave our bags here. We can do short circuits so we can keep an eye on them. And,’ he gave her a wicked grin, ‘it means that if you bomb out then we won’t be far away.’

  Jade’s mouth set in a stubborn line. ‘Never. I’d rather die first.’

  Nick reached out and roughed up her hair. ‘You just might do that on the way.’

  Jade made a mock horrified face at him, smoothing down her hair as if she was really offended, and they both had to laugh.

  They stuffed their bags under the root of a tree and made their way back onto the gravel path. ‘Right, it’s a bad idea to try to run a long way if you’ve not done it before, so what we’re going to do is do two-minute bursts.’ Nick pressed a few buttons on his watch to call up the pre-set timings he had worked out the night before. So we run for two minutes, then walk for ninety seconds, then run again, then walk. So we’ll do it like five times, and warm up and cool down with a walk.’

  ‘I’m pretty warm already.’ Jade pretended to fan herself dramatically.

  Nick couldn’t help laughing again. ‘You could do a one-woman comedy show. Seriously.’

  ‘Not by myself. I’d need my fall guy with me.’ She winked at him.

  ‘Much more of that and you’ll find yourself running away from me instead of with me, while I try to strangle you.’ He tried to keep his tone serious, but he knew that she could hear the laughter in his voice. He pressed the start on his watch. ‘Three minutes warm up walk. Let’s go.’

  Jade was uncharacteristically quiet as they walked down the path, and Nick wondered what she was thinking about. It was a perfect place for a run. The gravel under their feet would absorb some of the impact, and the trees arching above their heads turned it into a cool tunnel where the warmth of the sun was lessened. Not a problem that was common in Scotland, Nick reflected ruefully, but today was an exception. His watch beeped. ‘Right, that’s time to go. Just keep it to a slow jog. You don’t want to overdo it.’

  They set off slowly. Nick kept an eye on Jade to see how she was doing. Her form was pretty good actually. She ran in an efficient manner, arms close to her sides. When two minutes were up he slowed them down to a walk. Jade was pink and breathing heavily, but otherwise seemed OK.

  ‘Everything OK?’ He turned them back the way they had come so that they didn’t get too far away.

  Jade nodded. ‘I’m fine. Raring to go for the next one.’

  He could tell that she was tiring by the time they finished the third run, although she steadfastly refused to admit it.

  ‘We don’t have to do the last one if you don’t want to,’ he said as they slowed down after they finished the fourth burst.

  The stubborn line had crept into her mouth again, but her eyes were still smiling, which was a good sign. ‘Bring it on.’

  He could hear her breath labouring beside him all through the next two minutes, but at no time did she slow her pace or complain and he admired her all the more for that. He kept her going with a countdown all the way through, and when they came to the end she leaned against a tree with a groan, fighting to get her breath back.

  ‘None of that.’ He pulled her arm to keep her moving. ‘You’ve got to keep walking or you’ll stiffen up too much.’

  She walked beside him as her breaths slowly returned to normal. Nick looked at her anxiously. She was still very quiet. Had he killed her off? Then she turned to him, and the look on her face was like nothing he had ever seen before. Her eyes sparkled. Her cheeks had a healthy tinge of pink. Her hair was tumbling out of her messy bun in such a sexy way that it took his breath away.

  ‘Oh. My. God. I did it!’ Her excited shriek sent two magpies chattering off in fright. She threw her arms around his neck and jumped into his arms with a massive hug.

  The unexpected movement sent him stumbling a little, but he managed to keep standing and swung her round and round until she begged him to stop and put her down. But when he did, she looked up at him with such a happy look on her face that he just had to bend his head and kiss her. He started with a gentle touch of his lips to hers, and when he felt her mouth curve under his then he took the courage to deepen the kiss. His hand slid down to the base of her spine. Oh, that bum! He had been dying to get his hands on it since that first yoga class.

  He could feel Jade’s hands curving round his own body tentatively, and he pulled her closer to him so she could feel exactly what she was doing to him. And then – with difficulty because the kiss was so good – he broke it off gently and looked down at her.

  He needn’t have worried. Jade grinned up at him. ‘That was pretty good. Can we do it again?’

  He laughed as he bent his head.

  They kept their hands entwined as they walked back to the beach, as if anxious not to lose the contact that they had created between them. Nick looked over at Jade. ‘Not that I’m complaining, but a week ago you said that you just wanted to be friends. What’s changed?’

  She looked up at him, her eyes serious, a slight blush on her face. ‘I think it was what we were talking about earlier. Not being able to change the past made me wonder if I was just worrying too much about the future too.’

  He slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her towards him with a squeeze. Her shoulder fit under his arm as if it was made to be there. ‘We can only live one day at a time.’

  ‘That’s true.’ She wrapped an arm around his waist.

  ‘Yeah. My mum always used to say that whenever my dad would get too hung up on something. He’s the worrier in our family. My mum’s the
one who’s a bit more chilled out.’

  ‘It’s the other way round in ours. My dad’s the chilled out one, while my mum always worries. I guess it’s not surprising after what she said about him ending up in the hospital.’

  The heat of the sun hit them as they stepped out onto the beach. Their bags were still there, and they both gratefully swigged from their water bottles. A couple of people were already out swimming.

  ‘I’m really looking forward to that dip.’ He pulled off his t-shirt and kicked off his shoes. ‘I would say I’d race you, but I’d probably just faceplant and knock myself out on a rock.’

  Jade was looking at him, a wry smile on her face. ‘I know this sounds like a cliché, but you look pretty hench without your top on.’

  He wrapped his arms around himself, unused to all this attention. ‘Thanks. I think.’ He did a few weightlifting poses, just to cover his embarrassment, while Jade giggled.

  ‘Anyway, what about you?’ He motioned towards her. ‘Time to take your top off.’

  Her t-shirt and shorts came off to reveal a dark green bikini which was brief enough to take his breath away. He gave her a wolf whistle, and she flipped him a finger as she walked towards the water’s edge.

  The water was cold, but very inviting after the heat of the afternoon and the exercise they had done. They splashed around for a bit, then lay in the shallows, shoulders just touching.

  ‘So what did you think of the run?’ Nick wanted to know.

  Jade sighed. ‘Knackering. But I could imagine doing it again.’

  ‘There’s lots of apps you can get for your phone if you do want to start.’

  ‘Yeah. It sort of felt like – I mean, when I walk I tend to think about stuff, but not really think about it. A bit like the meditation class really. I could see running doing the same thing.’

  Nick considered this for a minute. ‘I guess you could say that. I know I usually come out of a run feeling much less stressed than when I started.’