Something Like Happy

by Sasha Greene

  ‘So he could be perfectly fine then?’ Jade felt a flush of relief. ‘I’m sorry to waste your time.’

  Just then the door to the hostel opened. ‘Oh Duncan, I’m so glad to catch you!’ A woman of about fifty stepped out, her hair scraped back into a pony tail, wellies on her feet. ‘I was away down to my daughter’s on Sunday, and my neighbour came in to take care of things. He’s just told me that young Nick called him on Sunday morning to say he’d be through here yesterday evening, and could we save him a room? He wrote it down for me on a scrap of paper, and left it on the kitchen table, but it must have got lost somewhere. Bloody cats, you know what they’re like.’

  Jade nodded mutely, unsure of what to say to that.

  ‘I’m so sorry.’ The woman continued. ‘If I’d known I would have called it in when he didn’t turn up.’

  The meaning of the words slowly sank in. So that meant Nick was in trouble. Jade would have been elated that her hunch was right, if she hadn’t been gripped with fear at the realisation that something had actually happened to him. She found she had been desperately hoping all this time that nothing was wrong.

  The policeman reached out and squeezed her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry. We’ll find him. Mountain rescue will be out first thing in the morning.’

  ‘In the meantime,’ the woman interjected, ‘you must stay here tonight. And don’t even think about paying.’

  Jade slumped against the car, and found tears flowing down her face. Everyone was being so kind. It had been just the same when they had lost Ruby. Neighbours showing up with random meals for the family. People offering to do their garden. Back then she had felt rather overwhelmed by the kindness, but now she realised that it was just people trying to help in any way they could.

  She felt another squeeze of her shoulder. ‘Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll find him. Now you just get some rest and we’ll see you in the morning.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Jade did her best to smile at him. ‘Thank you so much.’

  Chapter 26

  Nick drifted in a haze. A body could go three days without water. He remembered hearing that statistic somewhere when he was very small. He must be getting pretty close to that now. His lips were dry and cracked, and his body burned as if he was in the heat of the midday sun. If he slept now then maybe he wouldn’t wake up again.

  Jade was with him. He could feel the touch of her skin on his, the delicious feeling as she lay on top of him, moving her body in time with his. He reached up, arms around her, enjoying the sounds of pleasure she made. Then, out of nowhere, she slapped him. One cheek, and then the other. Hard.

  All thoughts of pleasure fled his mind as he glared up at her. ‘What was that for?’

  She looked down at him, rage mingling with tears on her face. ‘What the fuck are you doing? Are you crazy?’ Her shouting hurt his head.

  He frowned at her. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘How can you do this? Your parents will be devastated. I’ll be devastated. And Jamie, Sean, Pete and Stevie will never forgive you.’

  His eyes flipped open and he found himself staring at the roof of his tent. The dream had been so real that he found himself turning his head, just to check that Jade wasn’t there. But she was right. What was he doing when he had so many people who loved him?

  He wanted to give life a second chance, he realised. He wanted to talk to Jade again, to try and work things out between them. He wanted to take a risk on his new friends, to see what he could make of his life. And he had to start asking for what he really needed. And have the courage to walk his own path through the ups and downs that were always going to be part of his life.

  He unzipped the flap of his tent with a shaking hand and pushed himself up to a standing position. Black dots danced in front of his eyes, and he had to sit down on a rock for a couple of minutes just to catch his breath.

  He left everything and started walking. Didn’t even stop to put on his boots, because the effort of pulling them on would have exhausted what little mental strength he had.

  Jade spent an hour waiting outside the hostel in the morning, anxious not to miss the mountain rescue. Eight o’clock sharp three cars pulled up outside. One was her police friends from yesterday, and the other two had mountain rescue stickers on the outside.

  The leader of the group was an older man with a weathered face that showed he’d been doing this a while. He didn’t bother with any niceties, but Jade didn’t mind. She knew his type. Gruff on the outside, heart of gold on the inside. ‘Helicopter’s been over already this morning, we found his tent. Let a man down to it, but there was no one there.’

  Oh shit. Jade didn’t know whether to be relieved that they hadn’t found Nick dead, or worried because he had left his tent. But couldn’t he have just gone off for a walk? She clung onto that possibility.

  ‘Anyway, it’s about eight miles in that way.’ He pointed up the valley. ‘Plan is now to go in as far as we can by vehicle. Then continue on foot until we get to his tent and do a sweep with the dog, try to see which way he might have gone.’ He looked at her again. ‘But I have to warn you, it’s not looking good. They found his mobile phone and GPS watch in his tent. And he’d even left his boots.’

  Jade swore mentally, her hope almost evaporating. Nick would never leave his precious watch. ‘I’m coming with you.’

  He looked her up and down, gaze coming to rest on her grubby trainers, then his gaze softened. ‘We’ll be pretty fast. Are you sure you’ll be able to keep up?’

  She must look very young to him, Jade realised. She squared her shoulders, accepting the challenge. ‘Just you watch me.’

  He looked at her for another few seconds, as if assessing something, then nodded decisively. ‘Fine. But you do exactly what you’re told, you hear? I don’t want you becoming another casualty we have to deal with.’ He turned away, ready to issue orders to the others in the group, but Jade touched him gently on the shoulder.

  ‘I want to thank you all, for giving up your time to do this.’ She was proud of how strong and firm her voice sounded. ‘It means a lot to me.’

  The man looked at her wordlessly for a few seconds. Was that embarrassment she saw on his face, or just simple modesty? Then he patted her shoulder gently. ‘Don’t you worry. We’ll find him.’

  Nick rested in a patch of heather, taking deep breaths to slow the pounding of his heart. Two minutes. Just two minutes rest. Then he would carry on. He counted out the seconds aloud, anxious not to lose track of time. He had no idea how far he’d come. It felt like miles, but in his current state it could be much less. Still, he could no longer see his tent, which meant he had come quite a way. He had heard a helicopter fly over a while ago while he was taking another rest, buried in the heather to try and shelter from the wind. Maybe they were looking for him? He was so terribly thirsty, but he didn’t dare drink from the stream again.

  He forced himself up, though every inch of his body protested at the movement and he felt like retching again. He had to go. Find Jade. And tell her how much he loved her.

  Thank goodness Glasgow was so hilly. Walking around the city had definitely made her fit. But without her recent running stints Jade knew she would never have managed it. The group set a pace which had her tiring after barely a mile. She pushed herself to the limit, knowing that she had to do this. She couldn’t just wait around for news.

  She lost track of the time they spent walking. Didn’t even dare to pull out her phone to check the time in case she fell behind. And then, in the distance, she saw a figure stumbling down the mountainside opposite.

  ‘That’s him.’ She pointed.

  ‘Don’t get your hopes up.’ The woman who was walking next to her kept her tone even. ‘It could be anyone.’

  Jade knew the comment was well-meaning, but she was sure of herself. She would have quickened her pace, but they were already walking as fast as she could manage without running.

  She knew as soon as Nick caught sight of them, because he stop
ped, swaying slightly, shading his eyes with his hand. Or was he rubbing his forehead? She couldn’t tell at this distance. They quickly descended to meet him.

  When she was just twenty paces from him he looked at her, and cracked a smile that was more of a grimace. ‘Jade. You came. I love you.’

  And then he dropped to the ground at her feet.

  Jade knelt down on the muddy track, lifting Nick’s head onto her lap, and watched while the professionals did what they were trained to do. She stroked a finger gently down his cheek and whispered quietly in his ear. ‘I love you too.’

  Was that a flicker of his eyelids? She looked again, but there was nothing, and for one moment she thought she had imagined it. Then she saw his mouth curve into a faint smile, and her heart leaped. He was going to be OK. He had to be. Because she wasn’t ready to lose another person she loved so soon.

  Epilogue: Three Weeks Later

  Jade held Nick’s hand firmly as they walked along the country track.

  ‘So what do you think of the little eco pods? Pretty cool right?’ He flashed a grin at her.

  She nodded. ‘Yeah. A bit crowded with four of us in there, but they’re great. Better than camping.’

  Nick rolled his eyes. ‘One day I’ll get you enthusiastic about camping.’

  She squeezed his hand. ‘I would have thought you’d go off camping after your latest adventures.’

  ‘Never.’ Nick squeezed back, then dropped her hand to drape an arm around her shoulders. ‘Thanks for coming to find me.’

  ‘Yeah, like you haven’t said that a hundred times. A million, maybe. It was nothing.’ Jade leaned her head into his shoulder briefly. ‘Anyway, I’m keeping an eye on you now.’

  ‘You don’t have to, honestly. Sean gave me a right talking to. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone so angry.’ Nick had the grace to blush.

  ‘How’s the CBT going?’ Jade asked.

  Nick took a deep breath, then let it out. ‘OK, I guess. It still feels a bit weird talking to a complete stranger about things, but I’ll try anything if it has a chance of helping. I’ll keep you posted.’ He gave her a look that revealed just how hard it was for him to open himself up like that.

  She pulled him down towards her so she could give him a light kiss on the cheek, just to show that she understood. Then she motioned with her head towards where Jamie walked about twenty metres in front of them, discussing something with Carina animatedly. ‘Have you talked your plans over with Jamie?’

  ‘Weren’t you listening when we were talking about it in bed last night?’ Nick suddenly stopped walking and turned to her.

  It was Jade’s turn to blush. ‘Must have fallen asleep. All that fresh mountain air from yesterday.’

  Nick just looked at her with a big grin and said nothing.

  ‘Come on, spit it out.’ Jade took a pretend swipe at him. ‘A girl could waste away here while you get to the point.’

  He laughed and pulled her to him, crushing her against his chest while he kissed the top of her head. ‘God, Jade, I love you. Never change.’

  Jade tapped her foot in mock impatience, although she couldn’t help laughing too. ‘Still waiting.’

  ‘It’s all sorted. The money Archie’s family promised us should be enough to buy two of those fancy wheelchairs, and we’re going to apply somewhere for funding for a minibus. The plan is to try and get up and running to do trips on the weekends. Jamie’s going to use his business to take bookings. Stevie also offered to help up both out. He’s well excited. And, it means I can fit it in around my day job for the time being.’

  ‘So you don’t have any plans to ditch Awesome Andy and the gang just yet?’ Jade teased.

  Nick sighed. ‘Not yet. I’d love to though. Maybe if this becomes a success.’

  ‘One step at a time.’ Jade kissed him, properly this time. ‘Anyway, I’ve got some good news of my own. I think I might have found someone who is interested in my book proposal. If it’s true, then all I have to do is actually finish the thing.’

  ‘Your book?’ Nick took her shoulders and looked at her. ‘Jeez, you kept that quiet. Why didn’t you tell me? When did you hear about it?’

  Jade just smiled. ‘I wanted to wait until they sent me a proper contract. You know, not to jinx it. But I realised just now that it’s too big a piece of news to keep to myself. Let’s catch up to the others first, then I can tell all of you all the details at the same time.’

  She nodded to where the other two could be seen some way off, still too engrossed in their conversation to notice that there was no one behind them. ‘Looks like Jamie has yet another reason not to go to Canada now.’

  Nick just laughed, pulling her to her feet, and they walked off hand in hand down the grassy path.

  THE END

  Author Note

  This book grew out of a wish to write about ordinary people who are struggling with their mental health but just getting on with their lives as best as they can. You’ll find a diverse range of characters in this book, which represents the Glasgow I know and love. If you liked the book please tell a friend, or leave a review, so that other people can enjoy it as much as you did.

  I am aware that this book contains subjects which some people may find emotional or triggering. If this is the case then I really recommend that you talk to someone, whether that be a trusted friend, or a qualified professional. There are lots of organisations which can provide information and assistance, and an internet search will help you find them, or you can always talk to your local doctor.

  Stevie’s app for his prosthetic is a work of fiction, although with the pace of current technology advancements I can’t imagine that it will be too long before it becomes a reality. The Necropolis is real though, and the view from the top is as stunning as I have described. If you have never visited Glasgow then I would invite you to make a trip and experience all that the city has to offer.

  Acknowledgements

  As with any project, there are lots of people who have contributed to making this book a reality, and thanks need to go to them.

  My family, for always encouraging me to follow my dreams and telling me I can do anything.

  The writer Kate Walker, for her brilliant teaching on a number of romance writing courses, and for introducing me to the Romantic Novelists’ Association.

  The RNA, for their excellent New Writers’ Scheme, the sole purpose of which is to encourage aspiring writers, and all the other supportive and friendly people who I’ve met through the organisation.

  The Walkers’ Stalkers writing group, for all their encouragement when I was starting out, and their ongoing support.

  Christina Petrie, for casting her professional eye over early versions of my manuscripts.

  My wonderful neighbours, for making me laugh and supplying me with plenty of food when things get tough.

  Cliff, for making a shepherd’s pie so good it just had to go in a book.

  I also want to thank all the people, both in real life and on the internet, who have been so open about their struggles with mental health. There are too many to list here, and some of them wouldn’t want to be named, but I have found Matt Haig and @Liv1204 particularly inspiring.

  And last but by no means least, I owe a big thanks to my editor at Harper Impulse, Charlotte Ledger, for seeing the potential in my writing, and working with me to make this book what it is. Plus all the rest of the Harper Impulse team who have helped put this book together.

  About HarperImpulse

  HarperImpulse is an innovative, award-winning digital imprint. In the five years since launch, we have continually hit digital bestseller lists, hosted the UK’s first online romance festival, published into over ten countries and grown an exciting stable of commercial women’s fiction authors.

  Readers, come and say hi to the team and your next read …

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  Writers, our vision is to publish the very best in digital-first commercial women’s fiction and we are simply looking for good stories! So, what are you waiting for? To submit, e-mail us at harperimpulse@harpercollins.co.uk.

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