Promise Me Always

by Rhonda Shaw

  Terrell tugged on my bun, causing my hair to fall around my face, and ran a few strands through his fingers as if they were threads of gold. “Beautiful.”

  At that moment, the adrenaline of flight rushed through me, giving me a strength I didn’t know I had. I ducked and shoved my shoulder into the stomach of the body standing behind me. When he stumbled with a whoosh in surprise, his hand clutching his gut, I attempted to rush past Terrell and the others as they paused in shock. There were too many of them, however, all of them reaching, clawing, and grabbing, to pull me into the alley between the buildings.

  I screamed as I hit the sidewalk, but the noise of traffic passing by, out of sight from the alleyway, drowned it out. My head bounced off the hard cement, and bright, colorful stars exploded behind my eyelids. I staggered, dazed by the pain, before resuming my fight against them, thrashing against the hands clutching at me, twisting and contorting, but I was tiring and blackness hovered at the edges.

  They surrounded me and one of them pounced on my knee, wrenching it to the side and sending a jagged sting up my leg. Someone else snatched and twisted my ankle, turning my foot further than it ever meant to go, and nausea lurched in my stomach from the fiery pain. With my eyes closed, I couldn’t see who came over me, but a heaviness settled on top of me and he ground against me, his foul breath assaulting my face.

  When I screamed again, knuckles caught my right eye and a gruff voice told me to, “Shut the fuck up.” Someone grabbed my head, holding me in place as I struggled to release myself from his grasp.

  “Hold her still,” he grunted as the weight shifted and a hand grappled to find the zipper to my pants. A hot, acrid breath panted next to my ear. “If you say anything, your boy Danny is a dead man.”

  I somehow freed one of my hands and punched out, connecting with the face above me.

  “Fuck!”

  A fist slammed into my jaw, turning my world black.

  ~ Danny ~

  Full of energy after the Christmas I’d spent with Gabrielle, I was happier than I could ever remember being in my whole life, motivating me to complete my demos and send them out, so that she and I could start our lives together.

  Dollar and I were working in the back room, experimenting with beats, when I heard what I thought was Big T yelling my name.

  I held out my hand. “Hold up, hold up. Turn it off.”

  We listened and sure enough, Big T’s booming voice was calling for me.

  He sounded out of breath and frantic, and we frowned at each other. Dollar stuck his head through the doorway.

  “What up, T? Where’s the food?”

  “Where’s D?” Big T asked.

  I stepped in front of Dollar. “Right here. What’s your issue?”

  “Come on, man. We’ve got to go.” He put his hands on his knees as he struggled to catch his breath.

  I stepped into the hallway. “What the fuck is going on? Why are you out of breath and sweating?”

  Big T squinted up at me, his chest still heaving. “It’s G, man. Let’s go.”

  I stopped dead in my tracks and went rigid as a sharp, hard edge settled within me. “What about G?”

  “What you talkin’ about, dawg?” Dollar asked.

  “There isn’t time to explain.” He stood and took a couple steps in the opposite direction. “The ambulance headed that way—”

  I flew past him, shoving him aside, and racing out the front door. I drove with tunnel vision toward the ballet studio. The one night I hadn’t picked Gabrielle up, something had happened. Where the fuck was her mother? I didn’t know what I would discover when I pulled up, but if I didn’t find my girl standing with a smile on her face, someone would pay.

  Flashing lights surrounded the building in the distance. I counted three police cars, a fire truck, and an ambulance. A growing crowd gathered around the alleyway, gawking at the scene, and I elbowed my way through the mass of people.

  I’d left my sweatshirt back at the makeshift studio, but I didn’t feel the cold through my thin t-shirt. In fact, I felt nothing, steeling myself for whatever greeted me on the other side of the police tape. I pushed through, and when an officer spotted me, he held out his hand.

  “You can’t go any further, sir.”

  I stopped, but stepped from side to side, trying to get a clear view behind the cop, hoping, praying Big T was wrong and it wasn’t Gabrielle on the ground. But once my gaze settled on the white tennis shoes and the long legs attached to them, I didn’t need to see the rest to know who lay there.

  Rage and fear coursed through me, and I broke out in a clammy sweat that flashed hot. I wanted to strike out at anything standing between us, while at the same time wanting nothing more than to sink down next to her and cry my heart out.

  Rage won.

  I pushed against the chest of the cop in my way. “That’s my girl there!”

  “Sir, please. Calm down.” The officer placed his hands on my shoulders to restrain me.

  “Fuck that! Get the fuck out of my way.”

  The commotion caused others to notice, and somehow over the deafening sound of the fury screaming through my head, I heard my name.

  I scanned across the crowd and spotted Gabrielle’s mother. Pulling away from the cop, I rammed through the mob toward her, and when I reached her side, she threw herself against me.

  “Oh, Danny! I pulled up and she was like this. We don’t know what happened to her.” She fisted her hands into my shirt. “She won’t open her eyes, Danny! She won’t open her eyes!”

  I didn’t offer her any comfort as she sobbed against my chest, her tears soaking the thin fabric. My focus stayed glued on Gabrielle’s body as the paramedics worked on her. They were strapping something around her neck and hooking up tubes to her as they arranged her on the gurney. One of the EMTs stepped aside, giving me a clear view.

  Dark bruises and blood covered most of her face, in stark contrast to the ghastly pallor of her skin. Her hair fell loose, its healthy hue harsh compared to everything else, and off to the side, her jacket lay shredded to pieces. She looked so fragile and brittle, as if she would break if a feather landed on her. The swelling of her right knee and left ankle was obvious to the naked eye.

  Her mother was saying something, but I couldn’t hear her. Somewhere in the back of my head, I registered Dollar and Big T yelling my name, but I didn’t acknowledge them either. I stood rooted to the ground, deaf to the world as chaos moved around me. The center of my earth lay shattered in front of me, and I felt sick. But more than sick, I felt absolute terror. The rock in my gut told me who did this. This was a message. A message in bright, neon letters, and a message directed right at me.

  Worse than that, I’d been wrong; I couldn’t protect her. In fact, I’d failed.

  Chapter 25

  ~ Gabrielle ~

  Six Years Earlier

  I cracked an eyelid and winced at the pain from the bright light. My head throbbed, and my body ached as if I’d survived a hit and run. I swallowed against the cottonmouth sensation and attempted to open my eyes again.

  A cool hand touched my arm. “Gabby, baby? I’m here, honey. Mommy’s here, baby.”

  I squinted before opening them further, letting my gaze wander the room before settling on my mom, who sat propped up in her chair, looking at me with anticipation. I tried to turn my head, but something constricted me, not allowing the movement.

  “It’s okay, honey. Don’t move. The brace is there to help your neck.” She stood, perching on the edge of the bed so she was in my line of vision, and attempted a smile as she smoothed my hair, but it didn’t hide her worry and concern. “What do you need? Do you want water?”

  “Yes, please,” I croaked, my voice only a whisper.

  I sipped out of the straw my mom held for me and closed my eyes at the pleasant sensation of the cool water sliding down my throat. When I reopened them, she was studying me.

  “Do you know where you are?”

  I tried to nod, but w
inced from the pain as soon as I moved. “Yes.”

  “Do you remember what happened?”

  At the complete distress on my mother’s face, I wished I could keep this from her, but I could not hide the fear and terror that rippled through me as the events replayed in my mind. “Yes.”

  “Do you know who did this to you? The police will be back to ask you questions.”

  The threat echoed in my head, Terrell’s sinister voice warning me to keep my mouth shut or else he would harm Danny, and a shiver passed through me before I could stop it. I would do whatever needed to protect Danny, even if that meant lying.

  “No. It was a group of guys. I’ve never seen them before.”

  My mom’s face scrunched as her eyes filled with tears. “Oh my, baby. I’m so sorry. If only I hadn’t been running late, and then I had a flat tire…” She finished on a sob.

  “It’s okay, Mom.” I reached out to grab her hand. “It’s not your fault.”

  She squeezed my hand tight and shook her head. “Yes, it is. All of this is. Moving here, exposing you to this, being late…everything. All of it is my fault. All of it…I’m so sorry…”

  Tears slid down my face. “You were doing what you had to do.”

  We wept together and left everything else unspoken. Since we couldn’t change what my father had done, there was no use in going back. Even after the tears had subsided, we sat in silence before I cleared my throat in preparation for hearing the complete story.

  “So, what’s broken?”

  My mother blew her nose into a tissue and wiped at her eyes. “Well, you most likely have a concussion, along with mild whiplash, and your right knee has a strained ligament since it was hyper-extended. Your left ankle is twisted. Thank God Mrs. Greiger came back when she did, so nothing further happened.” She stopped, as if contemplating how much more to tell me before reaching over to the small table beside the bed and grabbing a mirror.

  I gasped at my reflection. The stranger looking back at me had an eye surrounded by a riot of colors in vibrant purples, yellows, and greens. Another dark smudge of purple lined my jaw, and several deep red scratches scored the rest of my face. Fresh tears filled my eyes as I studied myself.

  “Everything will heal, honey.” My mom rubbed my arm, trying to comfort me.

  “I know.” I leaned back and my eyelids drooped, exhaustion making my whole body heavy. “It’s everything. This.” I pointed at my face. “My audition for Juilliard. There’s no way my knee and ankle will heal in time. The bills for this. How are you going to pay for it?”

  “Oh, honey. Everything will be okay. You’ll be able to try out another time.”

  “Mom—”

  “Let’s focus on getting you out of here first and getting better, and then we’ll figure out what we need to do for Juilliard. Okay, baby? One thing at a time. And don’t you worry about the bills for this. I’ll figure something out. You have nothing to worry about, except getting better.”

  Overwhelmed, my head swam and everything throbbed even more. The door opened, and a doctor walked in, putting an end to the conversation.

  ~ Danny ~

  So much guilt and hatred of myself flowed through me at seeing her lying in the bed, battered and bruised, knowing she was here because of me. But I couldn’t stay away either. It was torture to be here, to see her like this, but I had to do it as punishment for my failure.

  I watched her until the day turned to night. All the scrapes and scratches that she’d had to endure, the braces that she had to wear on her neck, knee, and ankle seared themselves into my memory. After a while, she opened her eyes. She didn’t notice me at first, but then, sensing my presence, she squinted toward the corner where I stood.

  “Danny?”

  I stepped out from the shadows, but stopped, rigid and tense, almost afraid to approach her, since I had no words of comfort, and could do nothing to take away her pain.

  She tried to smile, which made it worse, and held out a hand. “I know I look scary, but come here.” When I still didn’t move, her bottom lip quivered. “Please, don’t do this, Danny. I need you.”

  She crumbled in front of me, and the weight of her emotions pulled me down. I was fucking useless.

  “I don’t know what to do,” I whispered.

  “You don’t need to do anything. Just be here with me.”

  “No! I can’t sit here and do nothing! I can’t sit here while you suffer.”

  “What are you saying? Are you saying you can’t be around me?”

  “No.” I ran my hands over my hair before clenching my fists in frustration. “No,” I said again, and paced around the room before turning back. “Seeing you laying there makes me want to put my fist through the wall.” I took a step closer. “It makes me want to track down the bastards who did this to you and take them out. Gabby, baby.” My shoulders dropped, and I returned to the side of her bed, grabbing her hand, the only part of her not black and blue. “You have no idea what it was like to see you on the ground, knowing there was nothing I could do for you; that I’d failed you. I can’t forget that. I won’t forget that. This is something I can do.”

  “No. Don’t do anything. I know you know who did this, but please, I’m begging you, don’t take it into your own hands. I already told the police I didn’t know who did this. We just need to get past this, and then we can get out of here, just like you always promised.”

  “Please don’t ask me to sit back and do nothing. Please, don’t.”

  “I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

  My eyes widened. “But I’m supposed to stand this? I’m supposed to handle this happening to you?”

  She pulled on my hand, bringing me nearer. “I can handle this more than I can handle something happening to you. Please, don’t do anything. I couldn’t bear it. Please.”

  A war raged within me—the need to find release for my anger and the desire to do as she wished, simply because she asked it of me. “This is fucked up,” I said as I hung my head. “This isn’t right. You shouldn’t have lied to the cops.”

  “I know, I know. Please, Danny, please. Just stay here with me.”

  I sighed and pressed my lips to her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, baby. I’ll be here until they kick me out, and then I’ll be back.”

  “Hold me, please?”

  I sat on the edge of the bed and waited as she adjusted herself before putting my arms around her, being cautious of everything connected to her, careful not to hurt her. I rested my head on the pillow above hers and let out a deep breath.

  “Danny? Is there a reason they keep coming after me?”

  A rock lodged itself in my throat. Yes, I wanted to tell her, because of me. Paybacks, I wanted to say, had made you the perfect target, but the words wouldn’t come out, continuing the lie, even though it was destroying me.

  I hated myself. I’d promised never to keep anything from her, but the lie had taken on a life of its own, and it was now out of my hands. I’d lost control of everything, and I had no idea what to do anymore.

  “I don’t know, baby. I wish I did, but I don’t.”

  * * *

  “So, how’s your girl?” Dollar asked when he saw me next.

  I blew out a breath as I sat in a chair, exhaustion dragging me down. We had planned to meet at the studio to catch up on recording since I’d been spending all my time at the hospital. Big T had yet to arrive.

  “She’s okay. She’s home, but she’s still pretty banged up.”

  “Was it Terrell and his crew?”

  I nodded. A look passed between us before I dropped my head in my hands. “I know what you’re going to say.”

  Dollar sank into the seat next to me, the equipment sitting around us forgotten for the time being. “It ain’t gonna stop, D.”

  I leaned back and threw my hands up. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

  “You know what you need to do.”

  I stood and paced. “No. I can’t. I won’
t.”

  “D, it’s you they’re after. They’re using her to get to you, and it’s working.”

  “What do you mean, ‘it’s working’?”

  “They want you to come back at them. Give them an opening, start the war, and you sitting here trying to figure out what you gonna do.”

  “I can’t let them get away with this. They put her in the fucking hospital!”

  “That’s what I’m saying.” He stood in front of me. “They have you exactly where they want you. Terrell still pissed you snubbed him and his boys, and you took away his chance at serious dough; now he’s trying to make sure you don’t get it either. You do what you thinking about doing…then he wins. Look man, you gotta put space between you two; if nothing else, for her safety.”

  I blew out a breath and leaned against the low counter. “I can’t.” The thought made me ill. “I can’t.”

  “D…dawg…you’ve got to. If you don’t, next time, she won’t be as lucky. You know that, and I know that.”

  I continued to shake my head. “Anything but that—”

  “Danny.” He dropped the nickname, which he rarely did. “This is what you gotta do. You on the brink of making it big, nothing can interfere with that. If you stay with her, things with Terrell is gonna get ugly, and then what? You end up in jail? No, dawg. You bigger than that. You meant for bigger things.”

  “She’s supposed to go with me.” I hated the weakness in my voice as I pleaded with him to understand.

  “D, if you stick with her, she ain’t gonna be around to go.”

  I stared at him as his words hung in the air between us. Dollar was right, but the thought of her not in my life left a hole the size of a crater in my chest. I couldn’t live without Gabrielle, but that may be what happens if I stay with her. Eventually, I might be able to deal with her not in my life, but a world without G’s bright smile was unacceptable. Dollar was right; I had to get away from her, for her own sake.

  I took a shaky breath. “This will kill me, but you’re right. I’ve got to do something.”