Promise Me Always

by Rhonda Shaw

  He nodded and squeezed my shoulder. “You doing the right thing. It don’t feel like it, but you are.”

  I wiped at the moisture in my eyes with a trembling hand, hoping it had gone unnoticed. “What do I do?”

  “You make a clean cut and you get out of town. It’s the only way.”

  “It’s not going to be that easy. She isn’t going to just let me walk away.” I dropped my head into my hands and rubbed at my temples. The very thought of leaving Gabrielle made my head throb.

  “Then you gotta make it clear and give her no choice. You’re gonna hurt her, no doubt.”

  The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt her, but it was my only choice.

  “It’s better than her being dead.”

  “Exactly, my man. Exactly.”

  Chapter 26

  ~ Gabrielle ~

  Present Day

  I needed no further invitation. I’d suppressed my hurt and anger for six long years, and now that Danny forced the issue, everything rushed up and simmered below the surface, waiting for the volcanic explosion. Locking in on those intense blue eyes that read me so well and touched me in places no one else could ever reach, I erupted.

  I put my hands on his chest and shoved him hard. “I hate you!”

  Caught off guard by my explosive outburst, he stumbled, but recovered. “I know.”

  “No, you don’t! You can’t possibly know how I feel. If you did, you never would have done what you did. How could you?” Tears were streaming, but I wasn’t sad. I was pissed.

  “I had to.”

  I stopped and stared at him, his simple answer throwing off my anger. “You had to?”

  He took a deep breath and scraped his fingers through his short hair. “Look, those details are not important. What’s important is—”

  He glanced up in time to see the glass I’d grabbed off the counter come flying at his head, and ducked. It exploded from the contact against the fridge behind him.

  Whirling back, he was hot. “Don’t fucking do that again!”

  I got in his face. “Don’t placate me, Danny. Tell me the truth!”

  He held his arms out to the side. “I’m fucking trying, but you’re throwing shit at me!”

  “No, you’re not. You were going to tell me to forget about it.” I jabbed his chest with my finger. “That you did what was best for me. I don’t want to hear that BS!”

  “I did do what was best for you,” he ground out in a low, strained voice, attempting to rein his temper back in.

  “Stop saying that! You can’t know what’s best for me.” I pounded my chest with my finger as I screamed at him. “Only I know what’s best for me. Not you, not anyone else. Me!”

  “Is everything okay in here?” Big T asked as he walked in, having heard the glass explosion. Spotting us in each other’s faces, both hot with anger, he stopped, uncertain what he was interrupting.

  Danny gave him a quick nod, telling him to get out of there, and he backed out of the kitchen.

  Alone again, Danny took a deep breath and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re right. You’re right, I’m sorry.”

  “No.” I shoved him again, my anger rebuilding. “No, you’re not allowed to give in and apologize, damn you.”

  He didn’t fight against my shoves, even though I couldn’t move him, as he stood strong and solid.

  “Look at me!” I yelled. “You gave me your word, damn it! You promised me we’d never be apart. You deserted me, just like my father!”

  He flinched, but when he lifted his head, his expression was blank. Closing himself off, like always, and wiping the slate clean, which only pissed me off more. I needed him to show emotion, show me he felt something, that he cared about anything. I raised my hand to slap him, despising myself, but he caught my wrist and walked me back until we hit the corner. “Don’t even think about it.” His face, mere inches from mine, was red and full of rage. “This is not us. Stop.”

  I jerked against his hold, but I heard him. “Get off me!”

  He pushed his lower body against mine, pinning me in. “No, you’re going to stay right here, just like this, and hear me out, damn it.” When I didn’t fight against him anymore, he lowered his voice. “I did what I had to do because they were going to kill you. Don’t you fucking get it?”

  “Who?”

  “Who do you fucking think? Terrell and his crew.”

  I stilled and stared at him. “Wha…why would they kill me?”

  “To get back at me, G. I had to get you away from me. Paybacks, remember?”

  “But you told me you didn’t know why they were bothering with me!”

  “I lied, okay? I was afraid if I told you about my history with him, you’d pity me. Feel sorry for me because I was so desperate to belong, to have a family, that I’d once considered joining his crew, knowing that was better than anything with my father. I was embarrassed and ashamed.”

  “What…why…you could have just told me!”

  “And what? You would have let me go? Walk away and never look back?” When I remained silent, he gave me a knowing smile. “Exactly. That’s why I did what I did. I had to get you to hate me, so you’d let me walk away.”

  I closed my eyes against the humiliation. He was right. Even if he had explained everything, I never would have agreed to a separation. I would have followed him to the ends of the earth, and he knew it.

  “How do you know it would have come to that?”

  “Because, G, that time in front of the studio was a message to me. As bad as it was, that was mild for them. The next time would…” His voice trailed off, unable to complete the thought.

  “Why was Terrell so fixated on you?”

  He hissed in a breath and glanced away before fixing his gaze back on me. “I refused to kill someone.”

  My eyes widened. “What? Why did he want you to kill someone?”

  “He wanted me to join his crew. It’s like an initiation thing. I refused, and that pissed him off since I didn’t want to be in his ‘family,’ especially since he’d given me money to buy recording equipment. He wanted to ride my coattails and cash in on me. He said he would wait and kill the one thing that was most important to me, and you became the perfect target.”

  I pieced everything together. “So…so, you didn’t want to end things with me?”

  His expression softened. “God, baby, no. That was the last thing I wanted. It nearly killed me.”

  The remaining anger in me deflated, and I was empty. I’d spent all my emotions, leaving me wrung out dry. The hard feelings toward him, dragging on me like a ball and chain, evaporated, alleviating the persistent heaviness surrounding me. I had my answers, but was clueless what to do with them, and I didn’t know where that left things between us. Danny’s feelings for me had been real, as I’d believed before doubt took over, and the separation had been just as hard on him, if not harder, but resentment settled in behind the relief. We’d lost a future because he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me everything, to believe I wouldn’t have thought less of him. He’d made decisions without discussing them with me and kept things from me; something he’d promised never to do, especially considering the history with my father.

  My mind reeled, trying to digest everything, when a new fear took over.

  “Wait a minute, what about Dani?”

  “What do you mean? What about her?”

  “Is it safe now? I mean, Terrell didn’t succeed with me, but who’s to say he won’t go after her.” I breathed hard as panic flashed through me, threatening to push me over the edge to hysterical. “She can’t be in the middle of this, Danny. It’s one thing if it’s me, but not her. Nothing can happen to her.”

  “Hey, hey.” He cupped my face in his hands, trying to soothe me. “Breathe, baby. Breathe.” When I calmed down, he ran his hand over my hair. “Everything’s all right. Terrell’s in jail, and his little gang broke apart after that. There’s nothing left of them. I checked that out when
I found out about Dani. There’s nothing to worry about. But if there was any threat, which there isn’t, I won’t let anything happen to you or Dani. I’ll get you both your own security team. Whatever it takes. Okay?”

  I gazed into his eyes, so earnest and sincere, and believed him, feeling the same reassurance I did years ago; that, no matter what, he would always keep me safe. I might not like his methods of doing so, but at least he’d kept his word when it came to that.

  “Okay.”

  I glanced down at his hard body still pressed against mine. “You can back off. I won’t try to hit you again.”

  My embarrassed smile fell as soon as I caught the heat in his eyes. Deep hunger shone in them as his strong hands molded themselves to my sides. I shook my head and my breathing hitched, not believing what I was seeing, but there was no mistaking the intense, familiar passion blazing up between us.

  “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you, baby,” he said, his voice rough and deep. “I’ve been empty for so long without you.” His gaze met mine, and I jerked in surprise at the depth of need and loneliness within his eyes.

  My heart rate sped up and my breathing shallowed. “Danny…”

  He shifted, lifting me onto the counter. Stepping between my legs, he grasped my head with his hands, forcing my eyes to his. “Tell me to stop now, Gabrielle. If that’s what you want, tell me to stop.”

  The way my name rolled off his tongue in a low rumble sent hot ripples of need through me. Hearing him say it never failed to make me quiver, and still did, all this time later. My body heat surged in temperature and a light sheen of perspiration broke out over my skin from anticipation. I needed to feel him, and I needed him to touch me, or else I was sure I would die. I didn’t have to think twice about what I wanted. I would worry about the consequences later.

  I locked my legs at his waist and threw my arms around his neck, closing the last inches between us, and crashed my mouth onto his. Our tongues sought the other as we pressed ourselves against each other, his hands moving up and down, and all over, trying to touch me everywhere at once before ripping my shirt up to feast on my breasts.

  Grabbing his t-shirt in my fists, I yanked it over his head, a renting sound filling the air. His chest was hard and cut, bulk replacing his slim, wiry frame of his youth, and his abs chiseled. More tattoos decorated his skin, dark ink wrapping the knot of muscles and the ridges of his ribcage, around to his back. They begged me to study them, learn the story behind each one, but I couldn’t take the time now with my need spiraling near out of control.

  He placed my feet on the counter, holding my knees out, spreading me to him, and his mouth trailed a scorching path from my knee up one thigh before covering me outside of my shorts. I gasped and mewled at the caress of his hot breath through the thin cotton, wishing there was nothing between his lips and me. His tongue gave a hard lick over the fabric before he shoved the material out of the way.

  My hands fisted in his hair and I squeezed my eyes shut. “Oh my God, Danny.”

  He hummed his approval and took another deep swipe.

  I pushed into the cabinet, letting my head fall back with a thud. My release hovered just out of reach, and I emitted a frustrated sigh, which he recognized and slid a finger inside while he continued to feast. A wave of warm pleasure crested and then exploded, flooding over me from head to toe. I didn’t realize I’d made a sound until his other hand covered my mouth as he rode me out, not breaking contact until I sagged against the cupboard, depleted.

  Kissing another path up and over my stomach, stopping to flick at one nipple with his tongue before standing upright, his mouth found mine, and he lifted me into his arms. He headed over to the back staircase, never halting from the ravenous kisses.

  We crashed into the wall at the base of the stairs, but didn’t break apart. Our lips remained molded together as our hands rubbed, grabbed, and squeezed. He regained his balance and started up, but missed a step when I reached into his shorts and wrapped a tight hand around his erection jutting between us, giving his hot, velvet skin a firm stroke. We fell to the floor, but he turned so he took the brunt of the fall.

  “Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry. You okay?”

  “Yeah.” He sat up and took my mouth again, plastering me against the stairwell before moving his lips to nip at my neck. “But maybe hold off on doing that for when I’m not trying to carry you up the stairs.” His kiss silenced my giggles, and he pulled me back into his arms. He carried me up the remaining steps and down the hallway, pausing to press me to the wall as we ground hard against each other, both of us breathing heavy and sweating.

  I cracked one eye and glanced at the closed door to Dani’s room. The last thing I wanted was for her to emerge and find her parents going at it right outside.

  “Danny,” I breathed against his lips. “Danny.”

  “What?” he panted as his mouth continued to move over mine.

  “Dani’s…door…move…”

  He understood what I was trying to say as he stepped back and strode into his bedroom, slamming the door shut with his foot. Carrying me over to a large four-poster bed in the middle of a room as big as most apartments, he dumped me onto the comforter and laid over me.

  He jerked my shirt off and traveled down my body with his hands and his mouth before returning to my lips.

  “I need to be in you, baby,” he said, his voice quiet and urgent. “I can’t wait any longer. I’m out of my fucking head.”

  In one quick movement, my boxers and panties were gone before he yanked off his shorts, along with his blue boxer briefs. He shifted and, with shaky hands, rolled on a condom he’d grabbed from the nightstand drawer. Settling back over me, he plunged into me without hesitation, and put his hand over my mouth to muffle my shout as he gritted his teeth on a low moan.

  Stars burst in front of my eyes, and only a few powerful thrusts from him sent me over the edge again, right before he stilled, pinning me to him as he groaned his release. We lay in each other’s arms, slick with sweat and out of breath, neither moving as our heart rates evened out.

  He lifted his head from my shoulder and grinned. “God damn, I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  Raising up on one elbow, he brushed the hair away from my face. His eyes tracked a lazy trail over me, seeming to take me all in. “I never thought I’d see you again. It’s been hell without you, Gabrielle. I’ve been so lost.” His voice broke at the end.

  I held his face in my hands. “I’ve been lost without you too.”

  “I hated myself,” he said, all emotions on display for once. “I have never forgiven myself for everything.” I nodded as tears slid out of the corner of my eyes, and he brushed them away with his fingers. “I hope you can find it in your heart one day to forgive me, G. Now that you know why I said the things I did.”

  He rolled away and stared at the ceiling. “I know you think my life’s been one big party of success and money since then, but it hasn’t.” He turned his head, the blue of his eyes softer than I’d ever seen. “I’ve been miserable. I thought about you every day and couldn’t ever get you out of my head. There’s something about you in all my songs. You’re always there, in one way or another.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “That’s why I started doing shit and getting fucked up all the time. I was trying to forget the pain, dull it somehow, but it never worked.”

  “Danny, don’t…” I touched his arm, not wanting him to relive the suffering.

  “But I could never forget you, G,” he continued as he opened his eyes again. “I’ll always love you, G. Forever. That’s it. Even when we weren’t together, there was no one else for me.”

  My heart soared at his words, but my brain screamed at me to take a step back. How could I trust him after what I’d learned? What if he kept things from me again, and made decisions that not only affected me, but Dani as well? I couldn’t go through that again, but I also couldn’t ignore how I felt about him.<
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  “I love you, too. There is no one else for me either. There never was.”

  He wrapped me in his arms and held me tight. “I promise to make it all up to you. I’ll make it better, baby, I promise.”

  “You already have,” I told him with a wobbly smile.

  “No,” he said. “It will be better. We’re just getting started. Again.”

  “If we’re starting again, you have to promise me one thing, though.”

  One of his brows creased. “What’s that?”

  “Don’t keep things from me. Please don’t keep secrets from me again.”

  “I won’t. I promise.”

  Danny pressed his mouth to mine, kissing me long and hard. He rolled back on top and gazed at me.

  “I’ve been meaning to thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For having Dani. For naming her after me.”

  “She’s the reason I’m alive.”

  A dark expression passed over his face. “Don’t tell me stuff like that, baby. It rips my heart out.”

  I put my hand on his cheek. “You’ve told me your secrets and you need to hear mine.”

  He rested his forehead against mine and squeezed his eyes shut. “I know, but it kills me, especially since it’s my fault. Another way I fucked up your life.”

  “New beginning, right?” I smiled when he glanced up and nodded in response. “Then we have all the time in the world to talk about it.”

  “All the time in the world.” He twined his fingers with mine above my head. “Tell me you love me again.”

  “I love you.”

  “Always.”

  “Always.”

  And this time, I knew it was true.

  Chapter 27

  ~ Gabrielle ~

  Six Years Earlier

  I trudged up the stairs to Danny’s apartment. I didn’t have to wear a brace on my knee anymore, which had forced me to gimp from side-to-side, but I still required one for my ankle, making me limp because of the stupid, thick boot. It was frustrating, but I was getting better. I also no longer resembled a survivor of a nasty car accident, the scrapes and bruises on my face having faded. But even though I was healing physically; emotionally, I was a wreck.