The Hope of Refuge

by Cindy Woodsmall

  Shock drained from her face, and accusation took its place. “News of something like this could kill your father.”

  Her words squeezed him like a vise. He’d known since yesterday that what she’d just said was true, but as he saw the fear reflected in her eyes, he realized he was caught between what was right for his Daed and what was right for Cara. No matter what he did, one of them could be hurt.

  “This isn’t about him. And it isn’t any of your business.”

  She looked from Cara to Ephraim. The pain in her face was evident, even under the night sky. He let out a slow stream of air.

  “This is wrong.” She spoke softly, as if trying to keep Cara from hearing her. “Alone, after dark, sharing a blanket with an outsider. You’re in serious violation of everything we hold dear, things you took vows concerning.”

  “This woman needs a little help for the next few days, maybe a week.”

  “Is…is she the one your Daed’s been telling me about, the one Simeon said was staying in the barn and your Daed called the police about?”

  “He shouldn’t have done that. She’s not the type of person he thinks.”

  Becca massaged her temples. “I want to trust your judgment, Ephraim. If you think she’s a worthy cause, give her money and send her on her way, and I’ll say nothing to anyone about tonight.”

  “She needs more than money. She needs… a friend.”

  “Ephraim, please, put an end to this tonight, before it’s too late.”

  Stunned at her gentle threat, Ephraim saw that she cared about his choices the way any mother would. He knew she honored his sense of duty toward the family, but he hadn’t realized she carried maternal feelings for him. “She stays. At least for a while. I’m sorry.”

  Becca’s eyes narrowed, studying Cara. “If she’s just someone who needs help, does Anna Mary know about her?”

  “Not yet.”

  “Where is she staying?”

  “I’m trying to help her find her a place. Until then I’m sleeping in the shop.”

  Becca clutched her throat, wavering as if she might faint. “She’s staying in your home?” She drew several breaths. “I’ll give you until Saturday to get her out of your place. Then you must go to the church leaders and come clean about what’s been going on. After that…” She turned toward the creek. “Simeon,” she snapped, “kumm.” Without waiting, she stomped off toward the gate.

  Ephraim turned to Cara, who stared up at him from the blanket. “None of this changes anything.”

  “I’m really sorry about all this. I had no idea the Amish had strict rules about such things.”

  “Being here with you is against what I vowed when I joined the faith. And for good reason. But right now we have no choice.” He took a seat beside her and watched Simeon walk toward the gate, waving to Lori as he left.

  “Is Anna Mary your girlfriend?”

  “Ya. She’s the one who made the fried chicken and cake we just ate.”

  “Then you’d better tell her what’s going on.”

  What could he say to Anna Mary? That he’d allowed a strange woman to stay in his home and sleep in his bed overnight when he wasn’t keen on Anna Mary cooking a meal in his kitchen?

  The shrill of the hydraulic saw in Ephraim’s hand didn’t keep him from hearing the amplified ring of the office phone. Stopping the wood in front of the rotating blade, he glanced up. His foreman moved toward the corner office to answer it. Grey’s lively steps gave no hint to the troubles he kept buried. Despite how long they’d known each other, the two never spoke about what weighed on him.

  Tomorrow was Saturday—Becca’s deadline day—and Ephraim had no more answers now than when she’d given him the ultimatum day before yesterday. Trying to focus on the piece of wood in front of him, Ephraim couldn’t keep from thinking of Cara. She needed help, and he wanted to give it to her, but was Becca right? Was he going about this the wrong way? He’d taken a vow to live according to the Ordnung. Having a young Englischer woman in his home was in direct violation of the Old Ways. It wouldn’t be considered wise by any Christian standards.

  How could helping her be right if it had the potential to cause division between him and everything he believed in—if it separated him from his family and community? The Amish reached out to those who weren’t Amish. But never like this.

  The community would have issues with her living at his place, but the real problems would arise when they learned who she was—the daughter of Malinda Riehl Atwater. He didn’t want to tell Cara that her mother had left a trail of devastated loved ones. Twice.

  When he was twelve, he’d overheard the adults saying Malinda had broken her vows to the church. She left Dry Lake and her fiancé mere weeks before their wedding. All for an outsider. A drifter who’d come through and stolen her good sense. Was her daughter doing the same thing to him, coming to Dry Lake as a drifter and on a course to ruin his life? Even if she wasn’t, would the community believe her innocent of that?

  Sunlight shifted across the concrete floor, catching his eye. He glanced up to see Grey. Ephraim turned the saw off.

  “Call for you. Someone from social services,” Grey said softly.

  “Thanks.” He went to the office and closed the door behind him. The woman on the phone asked a few questions before telling him of her plans to conduct an in-home visit that afternoon. He thanked her and hung up the phone, his heart racing. His time was up for keeping secrets. Once the social worker pulled into his driveway and went into his house, the news would permeate the community like pollen in springtime.

  He picked up the newspaper from his desk. A dozen large red x’s filled the little boxes on the for-rent page. He’d made calls for two days, searching for an apartment for Cara and Lori. He’d found nothing. His Daed would take the news much better if Ephraim could say she’d be leaving in a day or two.

  He studied each square he’d made an x in, wondering if there was any way he could get her moved before Sunday. Church was to be held at his place this week. If Cara could be gone by then, his punishment from the church leaders wouldn’t be as severe.

  By this time tomorrow everyone in the district would probably know he’d shared his home with a woman. He knew Becca hadn’t said anything, not yet. She wanted to give Ephraim time to alter the situation. But he had to tell Daed before someone else did. Anna Mary needed to know too. But when he’d gone by her place earlier, her mother said a driver had taken her to her sister’s last night.

  He tossed the newspaper into the trash. His anxiety rose, as if a firestorm were headed straight for his house.

  As Cara placed the clean lunch plates in the cabinet, the doorbell rang.

  “Get that, please,” Mrs. Howard called from her bed.

  Cara glanced through a window into the backyard, checking on Lori.

  After three nights of staying in a house instead of a barn, she could feel the effects of regular meals and sound sleep at night. It was midafternoon, and she still had a bit of energy, and her hands were steady.

  When she opened the front door, a middle-aged man with red hair and freckles stared back at her. “Cara?”

  A nervous chill ran down her spine. “Do I know you?”

  He shook his head. “I’m Robbie. I work for Ephraim.” He pointed to the front seat of his car, where a young woman sat. “That’s Annie, Ephraim’s fourteen-year-old stepsister. She’s to take your place here, and you’re to go back to his house. He said to tell you a Mrs. Forrester called, and she’ll be at his home in about an hour.”

  Feeling as if she were suffocating, she nodded. “Okay, give me a minute.”

  “I’ll be in the car.”

  Her mind whirled with disjointed thoughts as she went down the hallway to Mrs. Howard’s bedroom. Ephraim’s willingness to help her was unbelievable. She felt he wasn’t the least bit attracted to her, but he did seem as honest and direct now as twenty years ago when he’d asked if she was a boy or a girl.

  An image of him popped
into her mind, followed by a thought that made her chuckle. Hollywood would love to get hold of him. She didn’t know if he could act, but he was definitely a looker with that strawberry blond hair and those gray blue eyes. Six feet of pure drawing power, as Kendal would say.

  When Cara entered the bedroom, Mrs. Howard looked up from her book.

  “Remember when I told you I might need to leave during the day sometime this week?” Cara waited until she nodded. “Well, I need to go now There’s a driver outside, and he brought Annie, a young Amish woman, to sit with you until your husband gets home.”

  “No problem, dear. Can she weed the garden?”

  “Being fourteen and Amish, she’s sure to be better at it than I am.”

  With only an hour before social services arrived, Ephraim dialed the number to his Daed’s doctor’s office. He finally had his Daed’s nurse on the line. Because of privacy rules, the nurse couldn’t tell him anything specific about his Daed’s health. When Ephraim asked for general information concerning cardiomyopathy, she freely shared the information.

  Listening intently, Ephraim tried to hear everything—spoken and unspoken. “Do you think his heart can withstand the stress of some difficult news?”

  “Stress is a part of life. Patients who have cardiomyopathy can’t rid their lives of stress. And bad news can usually be shared in a way that’s not jolting or shocking.”

  “He seems more fragile with each passing year. I don’t want to do or say anything that would cause an episode, but his symptoms continually weaken him.”

  “We often suggest that patients who have cardiomyopathy with symptoms similar to your dad’s have a procedure called AICD. A cardiac defibrillator is implanted into the chest wall, and it causes the heart to reset its rhythm as needed.”

  “Has he been told about this procedure?”

  “I’m sorry. I can share about diseases, but your question falls under doctor-patient confidentiality.”

  Ephraim thanked her and hung up. He needed to tell his Daed about Cara in a way that wouldn’t shock him.

  He left the office and entered the main part of the workshop. “I’m heading out for the day.”

  Mahlon set aside the carving tool in hand. “Did you put my time off on the schedule for next week?”

  “Can we talk about it later? I have some other things I need to deal with.”

  “Ya. Don’t forget Deb wanted you and Anna Mary to go out with us tonight.”

  “I won’t forget. You and Grey be sure to clear the center of the room and put the paints up high. The bench wagon will be here tomorrow.” Church met at his place only once a year, just like it did at everybody else’s home in the community but the timing of it being this Sunday couldn’t be worse. Since his home was small, he and his family had to set up the benches in the shop.

  Needing a few minutes to think, he went into the field. The pasture was thick with grass, the pond sparkled in the distance, and a breeze stirred around him. He closed his eyes.

  An odd feeling nagged at him, as if he’d missed a step in planning the next few hours. What was stirring such unrest in him? Have I missed something I should do?

  A little unsure if that was a prayer or him questioning himself, he was surprised when peace eased through him. He took a deep breath. Maybe this afternoon wouldn’t be so bad after all. Lingering in the quiet moment, he welcomed more of God. Suddenly it seemed as if he were in church during one of those rare and special moments when His spirit seemed to rest all around him.

  Be me to her.

  The thought made his heart race, and he stumbled back. He couldn’t be anything to Cara but a friend—for a very short time. She was fascinating, and under different circumstances they could enjoy being friends. But she was from a different world, an outsider—and the daughter of Malinda Riehl.

  “Ephraim?”

  He turned to face his Daed. “Good to see you out and about.”

  He propped his foot on the bottom of the split-rail fence. “I came looking for you. You’ve not been around much lately. Do you have that much going on with work?”

  “Just the usual stuff. How’re you feeling?”

  “Pretty good. I’m watching my salt intake, hoping I don’t get another bout of fluid overload.”

  “Daed, I need to talk with you about some things that are going on. Do you think you’re up to it?”

  Half of Daed’s face lifted in a smile. “Sure.”

  “Maybe we should go back to your house and sit.”

  “You’re not going to start mollycoddling me like Becca does, are you?” He laughed. “I don’t think I could stand that. I know the woman doesn’t want to lose a second husband, but if she doesn’t lighten up, I’m going to quit trying to pacify her. She’s got every daughter in the house following her lead. Don’t you start too.”

  “Well, let’s at least go sit in the side yard.”

  They moseyed that way, and each took a seat in a lawn chair. The breeze carried the aroma of one of Becca’s suppers cooking.

  Without telling his father who Cara was, he began explaining about the woman he’d found staying in the barn. “Daed, Becca said you called the police.”

  “Ya, I did.”

  Ephraim tried to keep his voice even, but he wanted to snap and growl. “You should have talked to me first.”

  “You wrote a letter, telling her to leave.”

  “It’s my barn and property, and I was handling it. The police came and were going to separate her and her daughter, so I said she could stay at my place. She’s been there for the last three nights.”

  “An Englischer woman and child, without a husband?” He looked more concerned than angry. “I can’t believe you handled it this way If she is destitute, why not bring her to our home?”

  “For a lot of reasons.” Not only would no one have wanted them, but Cara and Lori needed a quiet place to ease the harshness of what they’d been through, not the discomfort of being a guest in a houseful of people. “You’d just come home from the hospital. And your home is always bursting at the seams with children.”

  Lines of disappointment carved into stone around his Daed’s eyes. “Better her in a bedroom with children than jeopardizing your soul.” He stared at Ephraim as if he no longer understood him. “But years ago you came home when I needed you, and you’ve been more to this family and to me than I ever had the right to ask. I won’t let the bishop forget that when he’s talking with us preachers after you go see him.”

  “Daed.” Ephraim paused. “I’m not taking this to the bishop. I’m just telling you what’s going on, forewarning you about what’s ahead.”

  “She’s not gone?”

  “No.”

  Daed stared, wordlessly lecturing him before saying, “You’re not asking for forgiveness, ready to take your discipline from the church and put this behind you?”

  “No.”

  “No?” His voice rang across the land, echoing back to them. “You have to put a stop to this. You need to repent—to the church leaders, to this community, and to God, who you knelt before and vowed to keep the Ordnung and to live according to our ways.”

  Ephraim had taken that vow. And since returning to Dry Lake nine years ago, he’d always aimed to be a good influence on the younger generation, to help them learn to respect the Old Ways.

  Be me to her.

  The thought seemed to float on the wind, entering his soul from outside himself. “It’s not against our ways to help someone.”

  “It’s not against our ways to be with a woman either, but that doesn’t make it right except in one circumstance, does it?”

  “Daed, I’m asking you to trust me. Please.”

  He leaned forward. “I trust in God and in the Old Ways and in the authority of the church. The Word says everyway of man is right in his own eyes. We have the Ordnung because man cannot allow emotions and quick decisions to guide him.”

  He knew his father’s words were true, but did one truth negate another? �
�We’re also told not to withhold good when the power is in our hands to do it.”

  “You really think you’re doing any good in this? You need to remain faithful to your oath.” Daed rubbed the center of his chest. “Even as a preacher, I doubt I can cut down on the shunning time that’s ahead of you.”

  Ephraim nodded. The night he chose to stay in his home for Lori’s sake instead of going to the shop to sleep, he’d known he would be shunned.

  Daed drew a long, tired breath. “Who is this woman?”

  Ephraim shook his head, wishing he hadn’t asked.

  A knowing look went through Daed’s eyes. “You knew her before she showed up in the barn. She’s from your days among the Englischers, isn’t she?” He pounded his fists on the arm of the chair, his face turning red. “You absolutely cannot continue this.”

  Ephraim had no choice. Telling him the truth of who she was would be better than his thinking an Englischer was seeking to renew some imaginary relationship. “She’s Malinda Riehl’s daughter.”

  His father’s face drained of all color. “Cara?”

  Ephraim nodded.

  Daed’s eyes filled with tears. “I thought I saw Malinda walking down the road with Cara beside her last Friday. I thought I must be imagining things. But it didn’t dawn on me it might be Cara. I’ll tell you what I did see—a drunken thief, or maybe worse.”

  “No, Daed. You saw someone who needed help. She’s not a drunk. I’m sure of it.”

  His Daed looked toward heaven. “Oh dear Father.” He focused on his son. “Listen to me. Malinda Riehl grew up one of us, was taught the same things you were. But when she ran off the first time, she left betrayal and brokenness behind her. You think her daughter’s any better? I tell you, she’ll be worse. Shunning will be the easiest of what’s in store for you.”

  Ephraim closed his eyes, searching for peace as he listened to the birds sing and the wind rustle the leaves. “I don’t know what happened the first time Malinda left, but the second time around wasn’t by choice. I understand that she stirred a lot of negative emotions while trying to find Cara a safe place to live, but—”