Eminent Silence

by Tristan Carey

  Bucky felt himself getting angry, thinking about all those troops being killed for some twisted ideology from a demented doctor. He looked at Vielka, her eyes had a glassy appearance to them, but she continued.

  'I still remember what he said when he saw me, 'She's going to be my prize catch.' In the middle of the desert and he used a fucking fishing analogy,' she hissed bitterly. Bucky clenched his jaw, he could see the pain and anger on her face, and although he wanted to hear more, he didn't want to put her through more pain.

  'Vielka, you don't need to tell me anymore,' he murmured, trying to keep a calm voice, even though he felt like beating the hell out of something.

  She gave a little laugh, smirking at him. 'What, you're not getting squeamish now, are you? After all this time of being curious about my scar, now you get squeamish?'

  Bucky's eyes widened and he felt somewhat ashamed of himself, but defended himself. 'I just don't want you to remember something painful.'

  She smiled gratefully at him. 'Well, thanks, but like you said, it feels good to actually talk about it.'

  He gave her a small smile and nodded for her to continue, glad that she was opening up to him.

  'Red and his men took only a couple of my crew back with them, including me, and the doctor would patch us up first, see if we would survive. If we did, that's when he would decide what he would do with us.'

  She lifted her head back slightly and pulled her gown down to show the extent of the scarring on her neck. He saw it extended down to below her collar bone.

  'He decided he wanted to give me the works. He reinforced my bones with titanium alloy throughout most of my body, he infused my blood with some chemical to help my body start to heal itself the moment a breach is made, he also gave me increased speed, flexibility and strength through a serum, which I think, was loosely based off the one used on Steve and yourself.'

  Bucky narrowed his eyes at her, trying to make calculations in his head. Something didn't sit right. 'How old are you, Vielka?'

  She raised an eyebrow and looked at him smugly. 'I know you've been out of the loop awhile, Bucky, but I'm pretty sure back in your day asking a lady her age was deemed inappropriate.'

  He flicked her a mischievous look, knowing full well she was trying to have a dig at his age. 'It's a good thing there aren't any ladies here then,' he replied smugly.

  Her jaw dropped and she gaped at him while he did his best not to laugh. She quickly pursed her lips, narrowing her eyes at him before she answered. 'If you really must know, I was 20 when I joined the military.'

  He frowned slightly. That hadn't really answered his question and he tried to calculate how old she could have been.

  When he looked back to her, she was smirking. 'So, you're, what, 20?' he asked. She didn't look older than 25 at most, perhaps, but surely there was no way she was still 20. Even he knew that you needed at least a year of training to become special forces in any country.

  She laughed loudly before cringing and reaching for the back of her neck. 'Oh, ow, don't make me laugh like that.' Bucky frowned. She calmed and answered him finally. 'When I 'died' I was 30 years old.'

  He pursed his lips, as she reclined back into the bed, seemingly far more relaxed than before, as she stretched her legs, slightly cringing. He felt her leg brush against him under the blankets and moved to stand up but she held her hand up, motioning for him to relax.

  'In case you hadn't figured it out yet, that would technically make me about 50 now,' she said matter-of-factly.

  Bucky furrowed his brow and looked her over. She hadn't aged a day past 30, although to him she looked closer to 20. She smirked at him as his eyes met her golden-brown ones, a hint of mischief there. 'It's the Asian in me, it makes me look much younger than 30,' she explained, apparently reading his mind. 'I can't imagine you met many Asians before the war.'

  He raised his eyebrows and was contemplative for a moment. He couldn't say he had met any Asian women before or during the war. He had worked alongside a man of Asian descent when he was in Steve's team, but he barely remembered him. 'No, can't say I have.'

  She smiled and winked. 'We're a hot commodity these days, perhaps I'll have to educate you, one day.'They sat talking about the comparisons of their times for so long, that they were both surprised when the ward staff came to do observations on Vielka and give her dinner.

  'Oh,' Bucky said in mild surprise, as they both looked over as the nurses and doctor entered.

  'Sorry to disturb,' the doctor said smiling. Both the doctor and nurse glanced between them and Bucky felt his cheeks flush slightly when he saw them smirk.

  'No problem, I should probably be going,' he said, moving from the bed. He looked to Vielka and thought he saw a fleeting look of disappointment, but then her face was emotionless and he thought perhaps he had imagined it.

  The nurse glanced from Vielka to Bucky before speaking quickly. 'You can come back after dinner, if you like,' she said with a smile. The doctor looked up at her with a puzzled expression but then quickly agreed.

  'Yes, absolutely. Can't hurt.'

  Vielka looked amused but looked to Bucky expectantly. He gave a small smile. 'Sure, if you want me to.'

  She shrugged. 'I've got nothing better to do.' He laughed and left.

  He had barely reached the end of the corridor when he heard someone call him. 'Sgt Barnes!' He turned in surprise at hearing himself addressed so formally, to see the nurse hurrying towards him.

  He immediately looked at her gravely, fearing the worst. 'What is it?'

  'Relax, nothing's wrong,' she answered breathlessly. 'I wanted to make sure you would come back.'

  Bucky looked at her in bewilderment at her straightforward question. 'Uhh...'

  'Look, she's been awake a while, the whole time she was just depressed and she hadn't eaten all day.' Bucky raised his eyebrows, considering having words with her about that, he was well aware of her normally considerable appetite. 'She just devoured her dinner, and actually asked for dessert.'

  Bucky was confused. 'Then why do you want me to come back after?'

  The nurse stared at him incredulously for a moment. 'It's because of you! Everyone else came and visited her and she just seemed to get more and more depressed. Since you've visited her, she's actually talking to us and responding to our questions.'

  Bucky felt his chest constrict slightly and suddenly felt a little self conscious at the fact the nurses and doctors had been watching them. 'Oh, well, I'll be sure to come back in a little while then.'

  With that, he turned on his heel and returned to the living area, lost in his own thoughts now, where he found the others eating dinner.

  'Well, look who emerges,' Steve said with a sly grin, spotting him first. Bucky rolled his eyes in response and took the plate offered to him by Sam, beginning to devour it quickly.

  'Gees, I knew I was a good cook, but ddaamnnn...' Sam said, impressed by how quick Bucky was eating.

  'I don't think that even touched the sides,' Steve joked.

  'How is she?' Natasha asked, making everyone at the table quiet. Bucky swallowed and looked around the table to find everyone looking expectant and serious.

  'She's good, she's talking, she's eating. She just needs to work her legs to get their strength back,' he replied, and smiled when everyone around the table seemed relieved. It was clear how important she was to the people around him.

  'Well, that's good, she seemed so gloomy and depressed when I visited her this morning,' Wanda said quietly, as she pushed her plate away.

  'The nurses want me to go back to see her again tonight, I'm going to take her some dessert,' he said, polishing off the last little bit of food on his plate.

  'Wait, the nurses asked for you, specifically?' Clint asked, a small grin starting to grace his face. Bucky nodded, leaning back in his seat. 'Really?' Clint raised his eyebrows and glanced at Natasha, who glared at him pointedly.

  'Oh, can you give her someth
ing from me?' Wanda asked, ignoring Clint's teasing. Bucky nodded and she quickly ran out of the living area.

  'We've got some chocolate in the fridge, if you want to take that to her,' Natasha offered, to which Bucky nodded and she began collecting plates as she headed back to the kitchen.

  Steve looked sideways at him, before leaning forward, catching Bucky's attention. 'So what happened?' he murmured quietly.

  'We just talked,' Bucky answered truthfully, although he didn't elaborate. He wasn't sure she would want anyone knowing what she had told him. Steve peered at Bucky curiously for a moment, as if he was sceptical. Finally, he smiled, patting Bucky on the shoulder. 'Keep an eye on her, yeah?'

  Bucky nodded as Natasha and Wanda both returned, Natasha toting a few chocolate bars and Wanda, a teddy.

  Bucky eyed the teddy for a moment, glancing sideways at Steve who pressed his lips together in an effort not to laugh. 'What?' Wanda demanded.

  'Uh...Vielka doesn't exactly come across as a teddy kind of person, that's all,' Sam explained, glancing around the table at the others as if to see if they were all thinking along the same lines, they all nodded.

  'So?' Natasha said defensively, tapping Clint on the back of the head as he sniggered. 'It's the thought that counts, and I'm going to laugh so hard at you guys if she is a teddy person.' Wanda rolled her eyes at the boys and handed the bear over while Natasha handed the chocolate bars to Bucky. 'Those ones are her favourites.' He nodded gratefully, before leaving for the hospital ward.

  Vielka lay on her side in the bed, facing the door. It was an old habit, always sleeping facing an entry or exit point. She'd maintained it since recruit training back home, where the corporals used to enter in the early hours and drag them out for a 3am session of battle PT.

  As she thought of those battle PT sessions, she began to recall other memories of her time at recruits, like the horrible food, and the fact that she and her room mates, for quite some time, lived on starburst lollies and coke to give them the energy they needed to get through the day.

  Or that time they were made to stand in the middle of a field for a whole minute, holding two fully loaded rifles out straight at shoulder height, because one of her course mates had left the rifle further than arm's distance away from them. The 'corrective training' drill had popped her shoulder, and even now she could still pop it out.

  She then recalled the day she left for recruits, her mother and stepfather had been there to see her off. She remembered her stepfather beaming at her, the only time she recalled seeing him look at her like that. Her mother had cried, claiming that because her biggest baby was leaving it was something special and she was allowed to cry when had Vielka teased her. She swore she would make Vielka pay when she got home, and she had, with a huge party and a slide show of embarrassing baby photos.

  Home. The place she once called home, wasn't anymore. She had never been game enough to return home to Australia. She was listed as MIA - believed dead. She didn't want to give her family the heartache of knowing the truth.

  She had done some research one day, after a few years of being her own person again.

  Her mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer, but fought and won.

  Her sister joined the navy, of all things, but her brother had joined the Air Force, which was far worse. She could just imagine the family dinners, jabs left, right and centre about who the superior service was. Add to the mix their stepdad who was old school navy, it would have been non-stop fun.

  Her stepfather was still in the navy, it seemed, although from what she could tell, her disappearance hit him the hardest. He had never been keen on her joining the army, let alone hearing she had received a recommendation to try out for Special Forces when women were allowed combat roles.

  She sighed and rolled onto her back out of habit, but winced, instantly regretting it as pain shot up through her neck. She rolled back to her side to see Bucky leaning against the doorway.

  She instantly smiled, but was quick to subdue it, instead busying herself to try and sit herself up.

  Bucky hurried to help her, putting what he carried on the chair positioned by her bed. He went to grab her closest arm, lifting her easily.

  'Thank you,' she said with a sigh, once she was up, moving her legs to a comfortable position.

  'The girls gave me some presents for you,' he said, grabbing the things from the chair. He held them out to her and she instantly grinned, taking the teddy first.

  It was soft and fluffy in her hands, with a bright yellow ribbon around its neck. 'It's so cute.' She looked back to Bucky to see a shocked look on his face. 'What?'

  He pressed his lips together with a pained expression on his face. 'Nothing.' She furrowed her brow in confusion and he burst out laughing. 'We just never thought you'd be a teddy person.'

  She looked dully at him for a moment before rolling her eyes and placing the bear in the bed next to her, looking at him pointedly.

  He finally stopped laughing before handing her something else. She looked down and grinned. Good old Nat. She nestled back into her pillows and ripped open one of the chocolate bars as Bucky settled himself carefully on the side of the bed, a smile on his face. 'How are you feeling?'

  She shrugged. 'The same as two hours ago, I guess,' she replied, licking her fingers before offering a piece of chocolate to Bucky. He shook his head but she looked at him pointedly. 'Chocolate gives you pimples, Bucky, help a girl out.'

  He gave a little laugh before sighing and taking the piece she held out to him. 'You seem to be feeling better,' he said and popped the piece into his mouth.

  She shrugged again, she felt the same as she had before he left, so she wasn't sure exactly what he meant. 'How's everyone else?'

  'Shit stirring,' he murmured, rolling his eyes. She looked at him in amusement, but he shook his head and she didn't press the question. She knew what they were like anyway, and that's why she liked them. That's why she was glad that she didn't kill any of them.

  She went quiet, thinking about it, wondering what might have happened if she had.

  'Hey,' Bucky's rough voice cut through her thoughts and she looked up expectantly. 'You're doing it again.'

  'Doing what?' she asked in confusion.

  'Dwelling on it.' She bit her lip and looked at her hands. 'You've got to stop doing that to yourself. It's just going to make you miserable.'

  'Wouldn't be any less than I deserve,' she muttered sullenly. She felt her eyes starting to heat at the corners, it was an odd sensation and not one that she was used to, as the many faces of her torment flashed through her memory, once again.

  She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing heavily, feeling extremely overcome by emotion suddenly. She put a hand to her face, feeling moisture there and she was confused for a moment.

  It was then that she felt Bucky shift on the bed, and felt him pull her hands away from her face, he pulled her forward carefully before wrapping his arms around her.

  She was stunned for a moment, opening her eyes only to be met with his wide chest, but as his familiar, musky scent washed over her and his strong arms enveloped her, she felt herself lose all control of her emotions and began to sob.

  While all her pent up distress and torment flowed freely from her now, she could not help but feel strangely safe in Bucky's arms, as one of his hands began to stroke her back softly. And that just made her sob harder, for so long had it been that she had experienced such a feeling. She gripped at Bucky's shirt, crying like she hadn't in a very long time.

  Bucky woke with a start, confused by his surroundings initially. He looked around to see a nurse peering down at him, but she motioned for him to be quiet before pointing down at his arm.

  He looked down to see Vielka, fast asleep in the crook of his right shoulder, her hand resting on his chest. He looked up at the nurse expectantly and she motioned with silent hand gestures that she just wanted to take Vielka's observations, to which he nodded and laid st
ill, glancing to the window and noting the first signs of sunrise were beginning to show.

  Once she was finished, she nodded to him and gave him a warm smile, before leaving.

  Bucky looked down at the woman that laid beside him, recalling how they had ended up in this position. She had finally broken under the weight of her tormented past, and he had immediately comforted her. He hadn't hesitated at all, it had been an automatic reaction to seeing her crumble under the weight of her emotions.

  She had cried for so long, and all he could do was hold her, unsure of what to say, but felt that holding her was right and noted it hadn't felt uncomfortable in anyway.