Luckily there wasn’t much time to be nervous. Charlie was in Geneva for the weekend and Tasha had decided to take the children to Surrey to stay with her parents, realising Bertie hadn’t seen much of his grandchildren for a while and keen for an extra pair of hands, or two. It was lovely to enjoy the country air for a couple of days and she was able to take advantage of their babysitting services to sneak upstairs, go through her CV and mentally run through potential interview questions that might come up.
Bertie cooked up a storm all weekend, culminating in a very impressive roast beef with all the trimmings for Sunday lunch. Max slept through on Saturday night for the first time all week, which was a huge relief to Tasha, though Flora was still a bit temperamental, chatting normally to Lizzie and Bertie but monosyllabic with her mother. Tasha had been twisting herself in knots with guilt at the impact the separation was having on her children. It felt odd being at Lizzie and Bertie’s house without Charlie, despite the fact she had stayed there with just the children many times before. She noticed his absence now more strongly than ever. They FaceTimed him on Saturday and Sunday evening before the children’s bath time, his slightly pixelated face as handsome as ever on her iPhone’s screen. She wondered which colleagues were out there with him, imagining some successful young businesswoman in a power suit flirting with him over one of the corporate dinners he would no doubt be attending later that evening. The thought of him there with a hotel room at his disposal and every reason to repay her adultery made her feel nauseous. Perhaps she was being naïve to think he hadn’t already done so. He was, for all intents and purposes, single. And she had absolutely no one to blame for that but herself.
Chapter Thirty-six
Tasha’s nerves were jangling furiously as she sat opposite Amanda from Human Resources at the offices of Pearson Gregory on Monday morning. She had travelled into the City on the Tube after dropping the children off at school. She had been questioned rigorously about her career to date, what skills she had that she felt would be transferable, and what her strengths and weaknesses were. Whilst it was nothing too challenging she was grateful that she’d found time to prepare over the weekend. She was happy with the way she had handled most of the questions, despite knowing she could have done better with one or two. They had discussed her salary and the hours she would be expected to work, then Amanda had left the room, returning a short while later with one of the other PAs Tasha would potentially be working with.
As the interview came to an end Amanda thanked her for coming. She explained to Tasha that they would be making their final decision by the end of the day. They were trying to move things along as quickly as possible due to the rapidly approaching start date. Tasha couldn’t be sure but she thought she was in with a good chance of success. Rebecca, the PA who had joined in the interview towards the end, seemed like a friendly, competent person, and she felt they had established a good rapport.
Tasha had a spring in her step as she walked out of the rotating glass doors and onto the busy street. If they offered her the job she would have proved to herself that she was still worthy of employment. A shiver of excitement ran through her at the prospect. She would have plenty of things to think about other than the needs of her children and running the household. Yes, those would all still be there, but she would have a whole batch of new concerns to deal with on a daily basis, and it would all be so different from the norm. She told herself not to get her hopes up, just in case, though she now felt sure that if this role was not for her she would find one that was.
Tasha listened to the sound of her heels tapping against the pavement as she walked down the road to a nearby coffee shop. She was wearing one of her old work outfits, which she had been rather amazed to find still fitted her. She had weighed herself for the first time in ages that morning and the scales confirmed that she had indeed lost half a stone. It seemed even heartache had some small silver lining. It would certainly save her a lot of money if she could use all her old work clothes rather than buying a whole new wardrobe. She ordered herself a coffee and soaked in the hustle and bustle of being in central London during a busy working day. Deep in her core she knew this was just what she needed. A sense of purpose other than being a mum, a reason to leave the house, get dressed up in a smart outfit, try something new and rediscover the Tasha of pre-motherhood once again. Pulling out her mobile phone, she decided she had better call Charlie to let him know about the interview. She wasn’t far from his office. The thought occurred to her that she might be able to see him and her stomach lurched at the possibility.
‘Charlie?’ she said as he answered the phone.
‘Hi, Tasha. Everything OK?’
‘Yes, yes. Fine, don’t worry. Are you free? I’m actually near Bank.’
‘Bank? What are you doing there?’
‘I just went for an interview. It was all a bit last minute. Can you meet for a coffee?’
‘I’m about to go into a meeting. What was the interview?’
‘It was with Pearson Gregory.’
‘The hedge fund?’
‘Exactly.’
‘Really? What for?’ She could hear the surprise in his voice.
‘A maternity cover has fallen through and they’re looking for a replacement. I would be a PA.’
‘A PA? That’s quite different from a GP! Are you sure you’d like it?’
‘Not really. Maybe. It might be worth a try.’
‘I didn’t actually know you were looking. I mean, you did mention it a while ago, but…’
‘I know. I met with a recruitment agency in August. They sent me the job specification and something about it felt right. I’ve no idea if I’ll get the job but I think it might be good for me. I wanted to speak to you about it either way.’
‘To me?’
‘To make sure you are OK with it?’
‘Right. Well, when would it start?’
‘Really soon. The first of October.’
‘OK. What would we do about the children?’ Even the use of the word ‘we’ was music to her ears.
‘I’m going to look into childcare options now.’
‘To do school drop off and pickup?’
‘Yup, that’s all I’d need.’
‘Sounds good. I can ask around at the office, see what agencies my colleagues have used?’
‘That’d be great. I’ll put my feelers out too. Though let’s wait and see if I get the job first! After all this talk I’ll probably find that they’ve said no!’
‘Well, if they offer it to you I think you should go for it, if that’s what you want. If you don’t like it, you can always leave.’
‘Thanks, Charlie. I appreciate the support.’
‘Right, I’ve got to go. Let me know what they say.’ He ended the call all too abruptly. He had been unexpectedly supportive. It made her question why she always doubted him.
*
Later that evening her telephone rang. She ran into the kitchen to escape the racket the children were making before accepting the call.
‘Is that Natasha speaking?’
‘It is,’ Tasha said.
‘Oh, good evening. It’s Alice calling from Time Recruitment.’
‘Hi, Alice.’ Tasha caught her breath.
‘I’ve just had a telephone call from Amanda at Pearson Gregory, and I am delighted to inform you that they would like to offer you the job!’
‘Oh, that’s wonderful!’ Tasha sighed as relief coursed through her, coupled with a bubbling of excitement that she hadn’t felt for a long time. This was really happening!
‘They need to know as soon as possible whether you are in a position to accept.’
Tasha told her that she would be delighted to accept, and Alice explained the next steps, leading up to a start date of October 1st. Having hung up the phone, Tasha called Charlie, leaving a voicemail with the news that she was soon to be gainfully employed, and explaining that she would start looking into childcare as soon as possible. She sent out a mes
sage to various local groups of friends and fellow mums, explaining that she was on the lookout for wrap-around childcare starting from October.
The following evening, having made several phone calls to follow up various leads in response to her cry for help, she arranged to interview a friend of a friend’s daughter. She was called Emily and she was a student at University College London. All her lectures were late morning and she was looking for tutoring or similar work to earn some extra cash. Tasha spoke to Emily on the phone and decided that she sounded ideal. On Wednesday evening Emily came over to the house for her interview. Charlie had arrived earlier, in time for the children’s bath time, making the most of being at the house on a weekday. He had insisted on a joint interview, not wanting to be left out of the decision-making process.
Both Charlie and Tasha warmed to her immediately, deciding then and there that she would be a perfect fit. She was bubbly, intelligent and seemed full of common sense, asking all the right questions. They agreed an hourly rate and went through exactly what would be expected of her. It was all happening so quickly but it felt as if it was falling into place exactly as it was meant to.
*
‘Bloody hell!’ Rosie exclaimed as Tasha informed her that she was going back to work. ‘Good for you!’
‘I know!’ Tasha could hardly believe it herself. ‘I’m so excited. I’ve just been going through my wardrobe salvaging all the long-lost outfits from the back of the cupboard. I’m terrified, don’t get me wrong. But it feels like the right time.’
‘How awesome that you’ll be in the City, too. Do you think we’ll be able to go for lunches?’
‘Hopefully. Unless I’m so busy I only have time to eat a sandwich at my desk. I guess it all depends on my boss, Katherine. I hope she’s normal.’
‘Fingers crossed. Perhaps I can get you a PA job here at the paper if not?’
‘God, now you’re talking. Wouldn’t that be fun? I’ve suddenly realised there’s a whole world of different industries out there I’d like to explore.’
‘Endless opportunities!’
‘How’s Josh?’
‘He’s great, thanks! He loved meeting you. He thinks you’re amazing.’
‘I’m glad to hear it. That was a lovely weekend.’
‘When is your next weekend off? You are always welcome to stay, you know.’
‘Thanks, Rosie. You are a legend. Charlie’s got them this weekend, but they’ve begged to stay at his flat. He’s picking up a camp bed for Max on Friday. Apparently the two girls are going to share his bed and he’s going on the sofa.’
‘Sounds squashed!’
‘It’s Bella’s birthday on Sunday and her one request is that we all spend it together.’
‘Is that going to be OK?’
‘I hope so. We’re going to Harry Potter World. The tickets have been booked for months. It’ll be nice to spend the day as a family, for once.’
‘Do you think Charlie will be all right with it?’
‘He’s usually pretty good at putting on an appearance of normality in front of the kids. Perhaps he’ll realise just how much he misses me and come home.’
‘I hope that’s exactly what happens.’
‘Wishful thinking.’
‘You never know. There’s no way he doesn’t miss you. He just needs to let the Javier thing go.’
‘Hmmm. That’s the problem. He’s never going to forgive me for that.’
‘Never say never.’
‘I know him.’
‘There’s always hope,’ Rosie reminded her before making her apologies and ending the call. She was running behind on a deadline for an article on psychic matchmaking; apparently it was the latest trend. Her blog was doing better than ever having taken its new turn and her paper had even jumped on the bandwagon, commissioning articles off the back of blog posts. It seemed likely that she would never have to write her singles column again, which was lucky given how well things were going with Josh.
*
As always it felt strange waking up to an empty house on Saturday. Tasha spent the day catching up on laundry, changing the sheets, tidying and sorting through the endless piles of clutter that always seemed to accumulate no matter how much she tried to whisk things into their rightful place during the course of the week. She got sidetracked from her task mid-afternoon, finding herself knee-deep in a pile of photo albums. She had always been efficient at making albums, originally sticking photographs in by hand and lately creating big photobooks online. She poured through them, pausing at particularly fond memories of the children, of her and Charlie. Her eyes filled with tears of happiness swiftly followed by tears of heartache. Tearing herself away, she set about baking Bella’s birthday cake. She tried not to think about the fact that, for the first time, her little girl would wake up on her birthday without her mother.
The next morning, she met Charlie and the children outside the entrance to Harry Potter World.
‘Happy birthday, darling!’ she cried as Bella ran over and jumped into her arms. Tasha laughed and spun her around. ‘Has it been a good one so far?’
‘Amazing, thanks!’
‘Hi, Mum.’ Flora hugged her, closely followed by Max. Tasha tried not to show her surprise at this show of affection from her eldest daughter. Perhaps she was slowly coming to terms with the separation? Or maybe she had decided to stop blaming her mother quite as much? Tasha wondered whether Charlie had said something to her the night before.
‘Dad cooked us pancakes for a birthday breakfast!’ Max announced.
‘Sounds yummy!’ Tasha smiled at Charlie. He was wearing a chunky-knit navy jumper that she had given him a few years ago. Dark stubble shadowed his jaw; he obviously hadn’t shaved since Friday. His bright blue eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. Only she would notice that it wasn’t a truly happy smile, see the shadows under his eyes and know how rare it was for him to have troubled sleep. The photographs she had been looking at flicked through her mind like a slideshow, all the wonderful memories they had shared. She wished she could show them to him.
‘Right, who is ready to go in?’ he asked.
The children responded with a chorus of ‘Me!’ as Tasha produced the tickets from her handbag. They filed in through the gate. Bella was in seventh heaven as they visited the magical sets, admired the props and costumes, and learnt about some of the special effects that had been used in the Harry Potter films.
Later that afternoon they arrived back at Havers Street with arms full of Harry Potter merchandise from the gift shop. Bella was amazed at the incredible cake Tasha had baked. It was a beautifully iced golden snitch, complete with rice-paper wings and a sprinkling of edible gold dust.
‘Mum, you are so clever!’ Flora announced, no sarcasm detectable. It seemed she was still on her best behaviour. Tasha was beginning to suspect that it might have something to do with Charlie’s presence.
‘You do make the best cakes,’ Max agreed.
‘We are so lucky to have you,’ Bella declared.
Charlie nodded. Feeling awkward, Tasha declared it was time for Bella to cut the cake. She opened her presents and they watched as she jumped around the room in excitement with the revelation of each new gift. There was nothing quite like watching your children’s sheer joy as they celebrated each birthday and Christmas. Tasha reminded herself to treasure each second. There would be a time when such innocent abandon was a thing of the past.
‘Daddy, please will you stay for bath time and bedtime?’ Bella asked. ‘I want a birthday story.’
Charlie agreed and, after their bath, he sat on the bed with the children piled around him. Tasha, at the birthday girl’s request, sat on the end of the bed too. He told them a wonderful story about a beautiful princess called Bella whose parents, the king and queen, threw her a magnificent birthday ball. The story had the desired effect as the children’s eyes began to close; they were exhausted from their busy day. Soon enough they were all tucked up in bed, dreaming of Harry Potter.
‘No, it’s all right. I’ll find something,’ Charlie said. He was hovering awkwardly in the hall, his hands thrust into the pockets of his jeans.
‘Seriously, it’s no bother. I’ve got some left-over lasagne in the fridge.’
Charlie looked as though he was contemplating his options. ‘Actually, a quick bite would be great,’ he said. ‘Thanks.’
Tasha’s heart soared as she went into the kitchen. She told herself not to get her hopes up. It had been a long and exhausting day, and he probably just wanted an easy dinner, rather than her company. They sat at the kitchen table, drinking red wine and eating lasagne, laughing at the children’s antics earlier in the day.
‘I was looking through some old albums yesterday,’ Tasha said. ‘Do you remember that holiday we had in Mykonos?’ she asked.
‘Of course I do.’
‘That old taverna overlooking the sea?’
‘God, that was amazing, wasn’t it?’
They looked at each other, each one lost in their memories.
‘Right,’ Charlie said, standing up and taking their plates over to the dishwasher. ‘I’d better get going. I’ve got an early start tomorrow.’
A wave of disappointment settled over Tasha.
‘Thanks for the lasagne, it was really good. And for making such an effort with the cake. You always do. It must have taken you ages.’
The Distance Between Us Page 20