Dark Heart Forever

by Lee Monroe

  ‘Luca,’ I said seriously. ‘Tell me the truth. The whole truth.’

  He pursed his lips, closing his eyes for a second. As he opened them again, he started talking.

  ‘I told you I was immortal,’ he began. ‘But that I am more or less, to all intents and appearances at least, human.’

  ‘Yes. And?’

  ‘Well, there’s something else. Something that I don’t like, but I can’t help.’

  ‘What?’ I said, my breath quickening.

  ‘I am also a member of a breed of wolf. The Hunter Wolves.’ He sighed heavily. ‘We’re werewolves.’

  And then, there it was, a picture in my head of Luca, like an animal, writhing and wild in the woods.

  I stopped breathing for a second. ‘I see,’ I said lamely. ‘It makes sense.’ I turned to him and it was then it dawned on me. ‘It was you. The night of the accident. You were the wolf.’

  Luca nodded. ‘I was on mortal Earth when I realised it was too late, the moon was full and I had to turn. But the trees were so thick and my wolf form had to break free. I just ran and, before I knew it, I was crossing that mountain road, and then I saw the car …’ He paused, dropping his head. ‘But I was going so fast, I couldn’t stop.’

  I stayed silent, still trying to take this in. Gentle Luca, a vicious … beast?

  ‘Once a month I am unable to stop myself turning. It doesn’t matter where I am, as long as it is the day of the full moon.’

  I stared, then laughed, frightened, wanting none of it to be true. ‘You’re serious. This isn’t a joke?’

  ‘You didn’t think my being immortal was a joke,’ he said quietly. ‘Why are you so surprised that I’m a werewolf?’

  I looked at him, slightly hunched over, still in his black coat. ‘You’re so serene … and elegant. I suppose it’s hard to believe you could be something so brutal.’

  ‘Brutality is not encouraged here,’ Luca said. ‘This is a place where people like me, and the others that live on Nissilum, restrain our most violent impulses.’ He paused. ‘At least, we’re supposed to.’

  ‘Others? Other wolves?’

  ‘Other creatures from the dark worlds.’ He gave a short humourless laugh. ‘The kinds of creatures you mortals only read about in books.’

  ‘You mean vampires and wizards?’ I blinked.

  ‘And angels and witches,’ he said, utterly straight-faced.

  ‘Wow,’ I said, because it was all I could come out with.

  ‘I didn’t think it through,’ said Luca apologetically. ‘That all this might be really frightening for you.’

  ‘Maybe it hasn’t properly sunk in yet,’ I said carefully. ‘But I don’t actually feel that frightened. Not now anyway.’

  ‘Really?’ He peered at my face.

  ‘No. I mean. It just feels like one more layer of weirdness.’ I laughed. ‘And I’ve met scarier people than you.’

  ‘Oh?’ He looked almost disappointed.

  ‘There was somebody at school …’ I began.

  ‘She hurt you,’ he abruptly finished for me.

  I stared at him, not blinking. ‘How did you know that?’

  ‘I told you. I’m very perceptive.’

  ‘You are.’ I held his gaze a moment before looking away. We sat in comfortable silence.

  ‘It’s a peaceful place,’ he said at last. ‘Nissilum.’

  I glanced about me at the sharp greens and browns of the trees, hearing the birdsong and the soft bubble of the river, and a stillness that made me feel safe.

  ‘Yes,’ I agreed. ‘It is.’ I had so many questions I didn’t know where to start. But Luca, intuitively, started talking.

  ‘We live pretty much like you do,’ he began. ‘We work, we provide for our families. We socialise …’ He hesitated. ‘And we have learned to live with our natural enemies.’

  ‘Vampires,’ I said, remembering from somewhere that werewolves and vampires were rivals.

  ‘Yes … and the witch community.’ He laughed. ‘They are not violent but they are sly and insidious. They can do harm by just talking to you. The laws here state that any malevolent behaviour is severely punished, and most species abide by it. But there is the occasional renegade.’

  ‘But who’s in charge? Who rules this world?’

  ‘The angels.’ He smiled. ‘The Seraphim. They are a little self-righteous, as you might imagine. But they do a good job. Because they are made with no evil inherent in them, they are the natural governors.’

  ‘Do they have wings and, you know, harps?’

  He laughed. ‘Wings I have never seen. And harps are something you mortals have made up I think. But they do have spectacular powers if they choose to use them. Shapeshifting, telekinesis. Super-strength. All-seeing, all-knowing. But they are strict with themselves about that. Trust is a huge part of their philosophy. Trusting each other and all of us who live here on Nissilum, to behave. Not to abuse our gifts. They live in the Celestial Palace and its grounds.’

  ‘And what about your family?’ I asked him.

  ‘My immediate family is my parents and my younger sister and brother.’ He rubbed at his knees. ‘They are good people, and they abide by the laws of Nissilum. I wish I could do the same.’

  ‘You are a good person,’ I said softly. ‘I know that.’

  Luca took my hand then and held it in his. His fingers were long, elegant and strong.

  ‘This is my favourite place,’ he said, letting go and looking around us. ‘It’s known as the Water Path. It’s where I found the notebook.’

  ‘I read some of it. It made me sad.’ I puffed out my cheeks. ‘Who’d fall in love? It sounds so painful.’

  ‘When the love is taken away it is,’ he said, stretching his long arms. ‘Or if you fall in love with the wrong person.’

  ‘I suppose.’ I looked around us. ‘So how did I get here, to the Water Path?’

  ‘I brought you.’ He smiled. ‘I didn’t know whether it would work, but when I found you lying in the wood, I just picked you up and here you are.’ He hesitated before adding, ‘I think it was a joint effort, actually. You must have wished it too.’

  Beside us the water rippled and spat, and I saw a frog, its chest puffing and receding, watching us from a small rock. A breeze caused the tops of the trees lining the riverbed to sway gently. It was so calming.

  ‘Hmm. Maybe.’ I shook my head slowly. ‘But I’m beginning to think Eric was right. You really are a superhero.’

  ‘Eric?’ Luca looked lost.

  ‘Just a kid who works in the town shop.’ I smiled. ‘I made him feel like an idiot for even saying it. But he was right.’

  ‘I’m not a hero. Far from it. I caused the accident that put your dad in hospital.’

  ‘The truck was a death-trap. It was an accident waiting to happen.’

  ‘That’s very gracious of you,’ Luca said, sombre. ‘But I am to blame.’

  I turned to him and took hold of his hand. ‘Without your help my dad would have … Well, I couldn’t have done that on my own.’ I squeezed his fingers.

  ‘You’re embarrassing me.’ Luca’s lips twitched. He took off his coat, and for the first time I saw properly his lean, lithe body in sweatshirt and jeans. I stared until I felt his eyes on me and I turned away quickly to look at the river.

  ‘What’s it like?’ I asked, not looking at him. ‘Turning into a wolf?’

  ‘Painful.’ Luca grimaced. ‘As though every organ inside of me doubles in size.’ He put his hand on his chest. ‘And my heart literally feels like it will burst. It only lasts a few minutes, but my body changes shape and my human form has to adapt too quickly – it carries risk of a heart attack.’

  ‘God.’ I put my hand where my own heart was beating. ‘It must be terrifying.’

  ‘Yes. Which is why it is only supposed to happen once a month.’ He paused. ‘Werewolves cease to exist if they abuse their power.’

  ‘Why would you want to turn any other time?’

  ‘To
protect loved ones. Or if you are angered beyond human limits.’ Luca shook his head. ‘Or in extreme situations.’

  ‘Poor you,’ I said.

  ‘It has its advantages,’ he smiled. ‘The speed, for example. That is always there, even when I am human. And the strength.’ He lifted his arm. ‘It doesn’t look much, but the power in this could destroy a brick wall in seconds.’

  It was such an unremarkable arm. It was long and lean, but it didn’t look anything special. Without thinking I reached over and with my fingertip stroked along the underside, where the veins ran down to his palm. I had never touched anyone like this. And a month ago, I would never have believed I would be doing something so intimate. I took my hand away and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

  ‘You can heal, too, can’t you?’ I said. ‘You touched my scratch and it disappeared soon after.’

  He nodded. ‘There are other things, too … You’ll learn about them in time. But I brought you here to show you that I am not delusional, that I was telling the truth,’ said Luca eventually. ‘And so that you would be less afraid.’

  ‘I’m not at all afraid. In fact, apart from my family, I feel safer with you than with anyone.’

  Luca looked at me. ‘Even your boyfriend?’

  I flushed. ‘How do you know about that?’

  ‘I saw him,’ he said flatly. ‘The night we met on the track up to your house.’

  ‘Oh.’ I felt a twinge of disloyalty. Whether to Evan or Luca, I wasn’t sure.

  ‘It’s OK,’ said Luca. ‘It’s inevitable I suppose.’

  ‘Never was for me.’ I picked at some long grass, growing between the rocks. ‘And he’s not even my boyfriend.’

  ‘What’s he like?’ asked Luca, ignoring that.

  ‘Older. Attentive. He’s been living in Australia.’

  ‘So he’s tanned and fit?’ Luca said wryly. ‘Good for him.’

  My lips twitched. ‘But he can’t break a brick wall with his hand.’ I looked half smiling at Luca. ‘He’s not a superhero.’

  He shrugged. ‘But he’s mortal. He’s not as complicated.’ ‘Suppose not,’ I said, wondering if that was true. ‘I know nothing about him really.’

  A silence fell between us.

  ‘Anyway,’ said Luca at last. ‘It doesn’t matter, you and I are friends.’

  ‘I hope so.’ I held on to one of his slender hands. ‘I’ll never forget what you did for me.’

  ‘I’d do it again in a heartbeat,’ said Luca, though he didn’t look at me.

  I swallowed, confused at how I felt. Feeling so close and peaceful and safe with the boy sitting next to me, but wanting Evan to want me too. Was that all it was? That I wanted a boy like Evan to want me?

  ‘You should pursue this Evan,’ said Luca, reading my thoughts. ‘Mortal girls are nothing but trouble.’ He sighed. ‘And then there’s the long-distance thing.’

  I laughed. ‘Now that’s not really a problem, though, is it?’

  ‘No.’ He grinned. ‘But it’s what I’m going to tell myself.’

  The sound of footsteps startled us, and I quickly turned to see a long-limbed girl of about twelve, hair in two thick, straight, dark plaits, coming towards us. She kept her eyes on me as she came, then spoke to Luca.

  ‘I thought I’d find you here,’ she said. ‘Ulfred needs you to clear out the barn, Luca … Who is this?’

  ‘This is Jane. Jane, this is my sister, Dalya.’

  ‘Is she a Hunter?’ said Dalya, looking me up and down. She dropped on to the grass next to us.

  ‘She’s … a mortal,’ said Luca cautiously.

  Dalya’s eyes widened. ‘You’ve been back to mortal Earth?’ She shook her head, disapprovingly. ‘You’re not supposed to—’

  ‘No, and you won’t tell anyone, Dalya,’ he said, sternly. ‘It’s under control.’

  I looked from one to the other. ‘Under control?’

  Dalya smiled impishly. ‘He means he won’t fall in love with you.’ She looked almost triumphant. ‘He can’t, or he’ll—’

  ‘That’s enough.’ Luca grasped her hand tightly. ‘Now be nice to Jane. She’s my friend.’

  ‘Luca hasn’t got any friends,’ Dalya told me, flatly. ‘He’s antisocial.’

  I bit my lip to hide a smile; Dalya and Dot were like two peas in a pod. ‘Makes two of us. Luca and I have a lot in common.’

  ‘He just reads all these mortal books that he took from Earth one time,’ she went on. ‘Huckleberry Finn and White Fang and Franny and—’

  ‘Zooey,’ I finished. ‘I’ve read those too.’

  ‘How did you get here?’ Luca asked her. ‘You ran?’

  ‘No, I came on Sabre.’ Dalya gestured behind her. Further in the trees a small black horse was tethered to one of the trunks. ‘I brought India with me too, but I left her further back. She won’t come through the trees.’

  Luca looked at me. ‘I wanted to show you the Celestial Palace, but there’s no time now.’

  Dalya hopped from one foot to the other. ‘That’s what I came to tell you. Mother is on the committee for the Great Ball. She said we all need to help with the arrangements. She’s calling a family meeting.’

  Luca rolled his eyes. ‘I’d forgotten about that.’

  ‘What’s the Great Ball?’ I asked.

  ‘The annual Nissilum celebration of peace,’ explained Luca. ‘The angels host it at the Celestial Palace to keep good will amongst the species.’ He paused. ‘It’s where angels, vampires, witches and wolves all meet and pretend they don’t hate each other. It would be amusing, if one wasn’t required to wear a suit and be polite for hours on end.’

  ‘Luca always gets roped in to serve drinks and usher people about,’ Dalya told me. ‘It’s because he never has anyone to take.’ She looked at me, her brown eyes bright and mischievous.

  Luca frowned. ‘Stop it, Dalya. The Great Ball is not for mortal girls.’

  ‘She could pretend. Mother would be overjoyed that you have a mate.’

  I raised an eyebrow.

  ‘That’s “girlfriend”, in mortal terminology,’ said Luca firmly, giving Dalya a gentle prod in the arm.

  I chewed my lip. ‘It sounds kind of … interesting,’ I said slowly. ‘Fun, even.’

  ‘Really?’ Luca stared at me. ‘Are you saying you’d like to come?’

  ‘I don’t know …’ I threw up my hands. ‘I mean, it’s no more weird and frightening than anything else right now.’

  ‘True.’ Luca looked down at the grass.

  ‘I’d have to wear a dress, right?’ I said, warming to the idea. ‘Only I’m not a dressy kind of girl.’

  ‘That is the custom.’ He looked serious for a minute. ‘Jane, I don’t think this is a good idea. If anyone found out that you were mortal …’

  ‘She could be one of our southern cousins,’ said Dalya excitedly. ‘There’s so many of them, and nobody knows them very well.’

  ‘When is this ball?’ I asked.

  ‘A few weeks’ time,’ said Luca.

  There was a moment’s silence before I spoke.

  ‘I suppose I could come.’ I picked up a tiny stone and threw it into the water. ‘If you want me to. After all – in for a penny, in for a pound.’

  Brother and sister looked at me blankly.

  ‘That’s “What the hell!” in mortal terminology,’ I said, tongue in my cheek.

  Luca raised an eyebrow then turned to Dalya. ‘Well, if this one can keep her mouth shut long enough, then … we’ll see.’ He got to his feet. ‘Now it’s time for you to go back to the land of pennies and pounds.’ He lifted his arms and stretched, his T-shirt rising to reveal a firm, olive-skinned stomach. ‘You’ll need to close your eyes and tell yourself to go home.’

  Like Dorothy, clicking her red shoes together.

  ‘Is that all?’ I asked.

  ‘That’s all.’ He picked up my parka. ‘Here, I’ll help you with your coat.’

  I pushed my arms through while he held it. A
s I zipped it up I felt the underside rip noisily.

  Luca and Dalya regarded me, amused.

  ‘You need a new coat,’ said Luca, laughing. ‘You’ve grown out of that one.’

  ‘What are you, my mother?’ I grinned.

  Dalya rolled her eyes impatiently. ‘Come on,’ she whined. ‘I want to watch her go.’

  ‘Close your eyes,’ said Luca softly. ‘And give yourself the instruction.’

  I did as he said and pushed all thoughts out, except for one.

  Take me home.

  And the sounds of the water and the trees faded until there was nothing, except for the voice in my head.

  CHAPTER NINE

  I arrived back exactly where I had left, lying at the base of a tree. I opened my eyes slowly to see a familiar dusting of snow over the winter leaves and sat up, stiffly. I looked up at the sky, wondering if I had fallen straight through the universe from Nissilum. Did it exist in the universe? I shook my head. It wouldn’t help to analyse anything too much. None of it would make sense.

  I imagined my mother had been pacing the kitchen for hours by now, worried witless about where I’d got to, but when I walked through the back door, she was standing doing the washing-up, humming softly. At the sound of my footsteps, she turned and smiled at me.

  ‘Hello, darling. Nice walk?’

  I looked up at the clock. It was eleven-thirty. I’d left for my walk at a quarter to. I blinked. It wasn’t possible … Maybe time stands still in Nissilum.

  ‘Bobby’s in a strange mood.’ She peeled off her gloves and hung them over the tap. ‘Was he chasing after birds or something? He was all worked up.’

  I shrugged. ‘He was a little overexcited, that’s all.’

  ‘Hmmm.’ She looked at me. ‘Lunch will be ready in an hour. And Dot’s over at Cassidy’s house. Why don’t you go into the living room and talk to Dad.’

  It wasn’t a question, it was a sugar-coated order. Mum doesn’t like company while she’s cooking.

  ‘OK.’ I got up, unzipping my parka. ‘But I need to change first.’

  The living room door was closed as I went past to the stairs, and I heard a low voice and figured Dad was on the phone. In my bedroom, I quickly changed, putting on the first things I found on my chair.