Dad is not gay

by N. Schwalbe

Sometimes, she was really a silly cow!

  ***

  »Jesus, how do you look like?« Sandra greeted her sister.

  Zoe pulled a face. »Normal.«

  »Normal is something different, honey.«

  »Hello sweethearts!« Pamela put down her handbag and took off her short trench coat.

  »Hi.« Sandra raised her hand while Zoe was pressing two kisses on her buddy’s cheek.

  »What is your husband up to?«

  »He’s fighting.« Zoe sat down and took a look at the menu.

  »What does that mean, sweetheart?« Snot-nosed, Pamela stowed away her hand-gloves.

  »Mediaeval spektakulum,« Zoe explained, shrugging.

  »Goodness! Where people are running around in worn-out pants? People at those times had no culture, and also no sense of taste.« Pamela got out her cigarette pack and lightened a cigaret.

  »It’s rather been a question of money than of taste,« Sandra interjected annoyed. She really liked to know why Zoe wanted her to come this evening. She was not very fond of Pamela.

  »As it may be,« Pamela said puffing away, »this stupid festivity is nothing for me.«

  A waitress came running. »Would you kindly stub out your cigarette? We have strict smoking ban.«

  »Love, do you think I don’t know? That’s the most stupid rule by some stupid would-be couch potato I’ve ever heard.«

  »Hello to everybody!« Biggi rushed in, hugged them and took her seat on the free chair next to Pamela. »Have you already heard…?«

  »No. What?« Bored, Sandra kicked away a few sugar grains across the table and hit Pamela’s neckline. She quickly looked into another direction to pretend to have done nothing.

  »Luca Steffen is in town!«

  »No,« Sandra played surprised.

  »Yes.« Biggi did not note the sarcasm in Sandra’s voice and beamed.

  Zoe pulled faces towards her sister in order to stop her. »He was seen at that knights’ festivity today.«

  »Mediaeval spektakulum,« Zoe corrected her.

  »No matter,« Biggi put her off, »Don’t we want to leave and go there right now?«

  »I’m just coming from there,« Zoe said.

  Biggi and Pamela shrilled and grabbed her arm. »Don’t tell us you’ve seen him!«

  »Yes, I did.« Zoe basked in the attention of her friends. »He fought against Tom today.«

  »Nope!« Pamela was obviously in awe.

  »God, Zoe, tell us everything!« Biggi took her hands and urged Zoe to report down to the last detail. »Your husband is coaching Luca Steffen in fencing? Incredible!«

  »Amazing!«

  Sandra rolled her eyes. »Okay, girls, I gotta go. May be Zoe can organize a little barbecue to invite Luca Steffen. Then you’re going to meet your hero personally.«

  Thrilled, Biggi and Pamela squealed until Zoe agreed.

  ***

  »Elsenhauer is watching us today,« Luca said in the locker room as they were finally on their own.

  Tom put on his tracksuit trousers. »What a pity! It feels like an eternity that we were on our own.«

  Luca looked around and pulled Tom over to the toilet cabins. There, he locked the door and pressed him against the wall, his hands next to his head.

  Their faces were only a few centimeters apart. »You’ve called me adultery!«

  Tom smirked.

  Luca was so close to him that he started sweating. His heady aroma got up his nose and befuddled his senses. He gazed at Luca’s perfectly cut mouth and secretly wished Luca would finally kiss him. »I cannot think straight right now,« Tom said in a whisper.

  Luca leaned forward so that his lips almost touched Tom’s.

  A wave of arousal rushed through Tom’s belly. Without further thinking, Tom closed his eyes and kissed Luca. It tasted like diving into a sweet hot pudding and, immediately, he felt his dick swell. He eagerly grabbed Luca’s head and kissed him. He pushed his tongue into his mouth as if he wanted to tell him nonverbally how much he was longing for him.

  Tom has never felt such joyful sexual appetite to kiss and so he relented his feeling to french Luca.

  They banged against the door and back against the wall. As Luca bit tenderly into his ear, Tom moaned with pleasure.

  »Hello?«

  Both jumped.

  Elsenhauer!

  Luca intimated Tom to keep still. »Franz? I’m coming. Please go to the training room number three.«

  »Okay, see ya!« Steps removed and a door was slammed.

  Tom blushed and looked at Luca with beaming eyes. He caressed his designer stubble and kissed him for the last time. He wanted to be near him, to creep into him and to give in to his desire.

  Breathless, they separated.

  »I guess, we gotta go,« Luca said with a harsh voice.

  Tom cleared his throat. »I gotta go otherwise I cannot guarantee anything.« He opened the door and tried to pass Luca, but Luca stopped him to french him one last time. With this, Luca did not miss to grab between his legs. »My rampant stallion!«

  Coquettish, Tom wagged his brows. »The rampant stallion is going to give you a good going over, my dear!«

  »I’d prefer it after the training,« Luca joked.

  They left the cabin softly laughing and took their swords.

  Elsenhauer was already waiting in the training room. Piqued, he looked at his watch. »Nice that the gentlemen are appearing here finally.«

  That man was worse than his wife, Tom thought angrily and left his towel on the bench.

  »Cool down, Franz! You’re paid for sitting around after all,« Luca said with a nonchalance which let Tom look up.

  Luca sniffled and threw his towel next to his manager. Then, Tom and Luca warmed themselves up by running a few rounds circling their arms.

  Finally, they started fighting.

  At the beginning, Elsenhauer was watching them with interest, but the more complicated their slugfest got, the more he seemed to be bored.

  After one and half hours, his head sank.

  Immediately, Luca came to a halt. »Do you see, what I’m seeing?« he asked and pointed at his manager who sat on the bench, snoring.

  Tom grinned. »Your manager seems to be overtired. Our training is anything but soft. Shall we have a break?«

  »I’d love to. Do you think I’m fit enough for the shooting?«

  Tom studied him with a frown thinking how much time was left until he had to go to Egypt.

  »Well, I guess that means I can’t have any break,« Luca said. His voice had overtones of desperation.

  »Pardon?« Dazed, Tom shook his head. »No break? But yes, we’re having a break right now. Let’s go to the bar and drink some fruity cocktail.«

  Not even five minutes later, Elsenhauer stormed out of the training room. »Luca, why are you sitting at the bar having a good time?«

  Luca screwed up his face. »Do you also want to have a cocktail?«

  »A cocktail with alcohol?« Elsenhauer screamed shocked.

  Annoyed, Tom turned away.

  »No, Franz, without alcohol. Since you’ve been sleeping we didn’t want to disturb you and got something to drink,« Luca explained calmly.

  Elsenhauer sat down and rubbed his face.

  Luca patted his shoulder, but his manager flinched. »What’s wrong with you?«

  »I’m sorry!« Elsenhauer took his drink and almost emptied it. »Guess I’m overworked.«

  »Really? Well, then drive home and relax!«

  Elsenhauer nodded, emptied his glass and left, patting Luca’s shoulder and giving a nod to Tom.

  Tom looked at Luca meaningfully, but Luca rejected with a gesture. »Don’t say anything! I know he’s deteriorating.«

  ***

  »Why are you pulling faces?« Without waiting for Zoe’s answer Tom went to the fridge and got a cold beer. He noisily opened the bottle and drank. »Ah, that’s what I need!« Tom went to the pantry and got some chips.

  »You’re having dinner?«

&
nbsp; »Yes.«

  »Super.«

  »Anything against it?« Tom stopped and studied his wife. »That’s not the reason why you’re angry?«

  »Nope.«

  »Come on!« Tom sat down with his beer waiting for an answer.

  »You’re almost never home. Finishing time was three hours ago. Where have you been? And don’t tell me you’re not having another woman.«

  Tom rolled his eyes. »For goodness‘ sake! How often do I have to tell you? I don’t have another woman. One goat is enough for me.« Tom smiled charmingly, but Zoe did not care.

  »You think that’s funny, isn’t it?«

  »Yes.« Tom squinted against the setting sun.

  »So?«

  »What?«

  »Where have you been?«

  »In the club. You know I’m training with Luca after work.« Tom sucked at his bottle and flushed his teeth with the beer.

  »Is that really necessary?«

  »What?« Tom frowned.

  Zoe was speaking in riddles.

  »You’re flushing the beer through your teeth just as Anton is doing with his jelly.«

  »I’m sorry that I’m almost never home at the moment. Next week, our sauna will be delivered. You’ve been waiting for it for years now.« Tom hoped to propitiate her, but Zoe only shrugged. »I don’t care. I’ve been lumbered with all the work. I take care of the kids, I study, I run the household and I go shopping. That’s too much, Tom. And then, you’re not even coming home after quitting time.«

  »There are only two weeks left, baby! Ten tiny little days. And tomorrow, I’m going to bring the kids to school. And I also bring Penny to the kindergarten.« Tom stood up to get a bowl for the chips. »You want some?«

  »No, I got to learn.«

  »I see! I haven’t known that chips are stopping someone from learning. Very interesting!« Tom poured the rest of the chips into the bowl and plonked himself down on his chair.

  At the same moment, Zoe threw a magazine at his head. »Ouch! Are you crazy?«

  Zoe laughed. »I’m sorry! That was really tempting.«

  Tom touched his forehead. »I’m bleeding!«

  »Then you might remember to come home in time tomorrow,« Zoe said sarcastically.

  Tom opened his mouth. »You treated me more tenderly before you started to study.«

  »Well, at that time my agenda was within limits.«

  »You’re really unfair. I nearly kill myself earning money to be able to buy your loved sauna and you’re throwing that shitty magazine at my head.«

  »Stop howling!«

  Tom stood up. »You know what? The way you’re treating me is so nasty that you needn’t wonder if I had an affair. Probably, she wouldn’t be so crude with me.« Ignoring Zoe’s protests, he left the kitchen, put on his sports shoes and banged the front door.

  On his way to the car, he got out his cellphone to call Luca.

  »Tom?«

  »Hi, yes, it’s me.« Tom breathed in. He had no idea what to say. He just wanted to flee. »Do you have time?«

  »Yes. Do you need fresh air?«

  »Yes.«

  »What do you think about a romantic walk around the Alster?«

  Tom thought about it. »I think I need some more diversion. Do you know for how long I haven’t been in the cinema?«

  »Then we should change this. Do we meet in the city?«

  »I could come and get you,« Tom proposed. His heart leapt. »But I rather do not come in…«

  Zoe opened the door and slung his keys at him. »You’ve forgotten these.«

  Tom picked up his keys and went to the car. »See you in a bit,« he said to Luca.

  When Tom arrived, Luca was better looking than ever. He was wearing snow-white tight pants and a white shirt with a black placket. His hair was perfectly styled and his smile was so seductive that Tom would have liked to turn.

  What did he do here?

  He was really going mad!

  Nobody could disturb them here.

  No-one would stop him.

  What did Theo say about forbidden carnality?

  »Do you wanna come in or shall we go now?«

  Though, Tom’s sense wanted to go, his tongue was speaking another language. »I’ll come in.«

  Luca opened the door, but before Tom could enter the apartment, Elsenhauer came walking up the stairs.

  »Oh…hello!« He was looking back and forth as if he could read in their minds what they were up to.

  Luca grabbed for his front door key and his jacket and banged the door. »We just wanted to go to the cinema!«

  »Really?« Elsenhauer focused on Luca, than on Tom.

  Tom turned and passed Luca’s manager. »I’ll wait downstairs.«

  Five minutes later, Tom had just thought of driving home, the passenger door was opened and Luca came in.

  »Shall I start?«

  »Yes.« Luca stared out of the window.

  Tom had the funny feeling that Luca’s change of mood was due to Franz – or to him.

  Nevertheless, he started the car and headed for the main street. »Did I do anything wrong?« He secretly prayed that Luca would negate, but Luca did not answer at all.

  Tom crossed a red traffic light and almost crashed into another car.

  Good Lord, Tom, get a grip!

  You’re grown-up.

  In case, Luca had any problem with you, he’d say this to you.

  They drove into the city in silence and, finally, Tom parked the car at Dammtor, a big railroad station. »Okay!« He turned to Luca. »Come on now! What’s wrong?« Nervously, he wiped his hands.

  Would Luca tell him now that he does not want to have to do anything with him anymore before they could come together?

  He was in a sweat about it and looked for an answer, but Luca played his cards close to his chest.

  And suddenly, it dawned to Tom.

  Luca had something with his manager!

  Franz Elsenhauer was his lover!

  He nearly had a heart attack and gasped for breath. »You and Elsenhauer…are lovers!«

  Luca dropped his gaze.

  »Hallelujah!« Tom opened the window and fanned the cool air. »I’m grazing on a foreign lawn.«

  Luca laughed out. »Interesting view.«

  Tom turned. »Why?«

  »It’s you who is married, not me.«

  »Does it sound crazy when I’m saying that I don’t have the feeling that I betray Zoe with you?«

  Luca was thinking about it and, finally, shook his head. »No, it doesn’t.«

  Tom smiled. »Everything with you is…so different. I can’t compare it. It’s like salt and soup.«

  Luca leaned forward and took Tom’s hand. »There’s nothing between Franz and me for a longer time now. Five months ago, I told him that he is not the right one for me, but he is still very jealous.«

  »And he still has got a key for your apartment!«

  Luca pulled something from his pants pocket. »Not anymore.«

  Tom rolled his eyes. »God, that’s complicating things, isn’t it?«

  Luca contorted his face. »No. I told him clearly enough that he should stay out of my private affairs if he wants to stay as my manager.«

  »Does he know about us?«

  »I guess, he suspects.«

  »Great!« Tom closed the window. »Do you still want to go to the cinema?«

  »Yes. There’s to be shown an amazing action film. Do you like action films?«

  Tom laughed softly. »I love action shit!«

  ***

  »Oh, my God, I can’t believe it…you’ve invited Luca Steffen to our barbecue and he has agreed?« Zoe was very pleased and so Tom had the opportunity to hide his emotional chaos behind the preparations for their party.

  It was twenty hours ago, that he kissed Luca.

  This morning, they trained – much to his regret – in the presence of Mark and Elsenhauer who wanted to know whether their star has made progresses.

  Tom suspected
that Elsenhauer wanted to control what was really going on between him and Luca. Tom had the impression that Elsenhauer was an extremely control addicted manager – and ex-friend.

  Tom ran across the terrace to the barbecue area and put the coals on the giant swing grill. Than, he took the barbecue lighters and kindled the fire as the first cars arrived in front of the house.

  Frederik left his car and came right through the garden to the grill area, followed by the giggling Pamela and Biggi. Then, Maik and Hans came with their families and, finally, Luca.

  The ladies of creation immediately strolled around like scared chickens, Maja got her fan book and, with a red face, asked for an autograph.

  As soon as Luca had given an autograph to each female guest he joined Tom. »Hi.«

  »Hi! I’m really sorry that you’ve been besieged like that,« Tom said softly.

  Hans and Maik were sitting far away enough on the benches, talking, and so nobody could listen to their conversation.

  »For you, I accept,« Luca replied with such a hoarse voice that Tom was glad that he was wearing a barbecue apron around his belly. The fire was hot enough to whitewash his reddened cheeks. No-one became suspicious, not even Zoe, who came out of the house, broadly grinning, carrying a big plate with meat.

  »I get crazy…I just can’t get you out of my mind,« Tom said as inconspicuous as possible.

  Luca let his gaze wander. »I’d like to repeat it, deepen it.«

  Tom cleared his throat and looked bashfully at the barbecue. He took the barbecue tongs and poked around in the red-hot coals. »Sounds luring, but I’m in a kind of Bermuda triangle.«

  Luca’s head turned. »What do you mean?«

  Tom looked at him, trying not to look too deep into his eyes, because Frederik was watching them. Thus, his gaze wandered while he answered. »I die of bad conscience…« He breathed in, but Luca interrupted him. »I’m so sorry that I’ve seduced you. You’ve betrayed your wife because of me.«

  Tom shook his head. »I didn’t mean that. I rather meant that I’m feeling lousy because…« Tom leaned forward to be able to whisper, »I had sex with a man. I’m not queer, you know!«

  Luca smiled empathetically. »Don’t fret about it! I’m going to tell you something about the origins of homosexual likings.«

  »I don’t have any homosexual likings,« Tom choked before Zoe was reaching the barbecue area, smiling at Luca. »Is everything alright with you men?«