He finds the test on the vanity and picks it up. He looks at it for a minute and it nearly shatters my nerves. “What does it say?” I ask.
“I… uh… don’t know,” he grunts. “Where’s the instructions for this shit?”
I find the piece of paper that came with the box and open it up. “Um…,” I say, scanning the page. “One line, not pregnant. Two lines, pregnant.”
He lets out a breath. “What do you want it to be?” he asks as he turns to face me.
I think it over for a quick second, but I already know my answer. “Positive,” I tell him.
Relief comes over his handsome face. “Congratulations, Mumma. You’re having a baby.”
“Are you sure?” I question as I grab the stick from him and look for myself. Holy cow. Two lines. I look up at Booby as a smile slowly starts to come across my face. “I’m pregnant,” I tell him before throwing my arms around him.
He gives me a good squeeze and lifts me up off my feet. “This probably isn’t too good for the baby,” I tell him.
“Oh shit,” he says, dropping me back to my feet.
We head out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where he starts making us lunch. “Fuck, that chick really wore me out,” he grunts.
“Ugh, I don’t want to know,” I tell him.
“Shut up,” he demands. “Over the last six months, I’ve had to listen to all your ‘I love Carter’ bullshit. I’ve let you ugly cry all over me and I’ve just checked your fucking pregnancy test for you, which was covered in piss by the way, so if I want to tell you about the chick I just fucked, you’re going to listen.”
“Fineee,” I groan.
“You better look happy about it.”
I slap on an extremely fake smile and look up at him. “Bobby, please tell me all about it. I’m dying to know every position you twisted her little flexible body into.”
He looks at me with a cringe. “You’re right. This is too weird.”
“Thank you,” I say in relief.
He hands me a sandwich and I gobble it down, not having realized just how hungry I was. “So, how do you feel?” he asks.
“I have no idea,” I tell him. “I’m excited and freaked out at the same time.”
“What’s freaking you out so much? We already know that you’re going to make a great mother. You’re like the baby whisperer.”
“I’m worried, I’m going to be doing it all alone,” I tell him honestly. “I’ve come to terms with the fact that Carter doesn’t want kids, but now that I’m going to have one, I don’t want him to go without a daddy.”
“Him?” Bobby questions.
“I just have a feeling,” I shrug.
He smiles as he reaches across and pulls me into his arms. “This baby is never going to go without. He’s got you and he’s got me. I’ll be there so much you’ll never feel alone.”
“Thanks,” I smile.
His eyes light up with an idea. “You can move in here,” he tells me.
“I can’t do that,” I say.
“Why the hell not?”
I give him a stupid look that suggests he should know better by now. “I can’t leave my kids and Cassie. They’re the only things that keep me sane. Besides, if I’m going to have a baby then I want to be close to mum and dad.”
His eyes go wide with panic. “Shit, what are you going to tell them? They’re going to send you to bible camp again.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. Just don’t say anything until I figure it out.”
“And when’s that going to be?” he challenges.
“Never,” I grunt.
“They’re bound to notice your baby bump knocking the plates off the table at Christmas dinner.”
“Shut up,” I groan as I realize there’s so many things I haven’t considered yet.
By the time night comes, I find myself curling up in Bobby’s spare bed. I have so many things rushing through my mind but the only thing I’m certain of is that I’m going to have a baby, with or without Carter.
I start making a mental list of things I’m going to have to do, like searching for the best doctor in Denver. But more importantly, I need to keep taking care of myself, keeping my body healthy and happy which includes actually getting some sleep.
The knowledge of having a baby depending on me to get enough rest, helps me to finally break that barrier and be able to fall into a deep sleep. I can deal with all the other shit tomorrow.
Chapter 14
Carter
It must have been at least six weeks since I saw her last and it’s driving me insane. I’ve been getting updates on her from Cassie every chance I can get and it seems like she’s actually doing really well, which honestly, is a lot harder to deal with than I thought.
For the past six months, all I’ve wanted was for her to be able to stop hurting and move on, but now that it seems to be happening, it’s killing me. Is she forgetting about me? Does she not love me anymore?
Cassie says she’s been doing yoga and taking cooking classes which sound great, but I just need something that tells me she still loves me. The thought of her heart no longer being mine is devastating.
I knew it would hurt when that day came, but I’m not ready for it to happen just yet.
That night with her was magical. It was like receiving a gift I didn’t deserve.
Fuck, I miss her.
“Carter?” Mr. Wilder’s voice calls out, breaking me out of my endless thoughts of Brianna. “Are you listening to me?”
Crap.
“Yes, I certainly am,” I tell him as my eyes flick towards him across the boardroom table.
Mr. Wilder must be the biggest pain in the ass client I’ve ever met. Waters Construction have been working with him for over a year now, coming up with a new design for his multi-million dollar home.
Only problem is his wife.
Every time we get close to completion, she makes changes and I swear, I’m so damn close to telling them to shove their house up their asses. It’s fucking ridiculous, this is the seventh time I have sat across from him with the finished plans.
The meeting always goes fine, then he goes home to his wife who decides she needs a fucking ten-foot water feature to be built into the design of her over-the-top, way too big foyer.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. I studied architecture and design in college, wanting to be taken on as a consultant in my father’s company and when he passed, the whole thing came my way.
Dad had amazing, grand designs which we still offer, but since I’ve taken the reigns, we’ve been doing much more extreme, edgy designs and to say it’s fucking awesome is an understatement.
Waters construction is now known as the go-to company for high-end clients and celebrities who are looking for luxury and extreme designs. They’re after the wow factor and something to add to their port-folios to show off to their rich friends. Not once have I let a client down, we always come through. Seeing the look of the clients’ faces when they see their designer home for the first time is fucking priceless.
But right now, dealing with these particular clients is a fucking nightmare. I mean, sure, this happens all the time. When people are paying a shit load of money, their expectations are nothing short of perfection. It’s completely understandable, but these guys are fucking crazy. They take nitpicking to a whole new level.
“So, where are we at with all the approvals?” Mr. Wilder asks.
“They’ve all come through,” I tell him. “All that’s left to do is to get your final go ahead, then we can get the build underway.”
“Excellent,” he says, leaning across the table to shake my hand. He stands up and rolls up the final plans. “I’ll get my wife to review this tonight and I’ll be in touch tomorrow.”
“Great,” I say with a fake smile that I reserve for the hardest of clients. I show him out the door and let out a groan the second it closes behind him.
“Thank fuck, that’s over,” I say to my secretary with a s
igh before handing her a pile of papers and a copy of the latest updates from the meeting.
“Can the build get started now?” she questions as she starts going through the paperwork.
“We should know by tomorrow,” I tell her. “He just wants the big ‘OK’ from his wife.”
“Ugh,” she groans. “The guy should just grow a pair of balls and tell her how it’s going to be.”
“That, he should,” I agree, “But I can’t deny that with her eye for detail and over the top taste, it’s going to be an incredible place.”
“It is,” she agrees before putting her head down and digging into her work.
I make my way back down to my office and close the door behind me. I need a fucking drink after dealing with that guy. I sit down in my chair and swivel it around to look out the massive window.
My office takes up the two top floors of one of the biggest skyscrapers in Denver, located in the heart of the city, with hundreds of employees that keep it going, and I get to be the lucky bastard at the top.
My phone beeps with a notification and I check it to find a missed call from Logan. I pick it up and call him back. “What’s up?” I say as he answers the call.
“Just checking in,” he replies. “You coming to my game tonight?” he questions.
“It’s the season final,” I remind him. “Like fuck I’ll be missing that.”
“Cool,” he says with a strange tone in his voice. “Um…”
“Spit it out,” I demand.
I can practically hear him cringing. “Cass is bringing Bri to the game,” he tells me.
Shit. I don’t know why I feel so blindsided by this. Of course, she’s going to be there, hell, I’m sure Bobby is even going to be there.
“Ok, sure,” I say, pretending like I’m fine with it. I’ll just have to have a few drinks before I see her. Or maybe, I shouldn’t. Crap. Why am I being such a fucking idiot about this?
But then, seeing her would be good. I don’t necessarily have to talk to her, but just seeing her and making sure she’s safe and happy would do wonders on my soul. I just hope seeing me isn’t going to stuff up any progress she’s made.
I spend the rest of the day with Brianna at the forefront of my mind. I find it way too hard to concentrate on work so I get the fuck out of there.
I jump in my truck, head home and wish things could be different.
Fuck, I love her.
That night I get to the arena and am surprised to see Sean here and even more surprised to see that he has Georgia with him, at a fucking hockey game. “Hey,” I say taking a seat beside him and taking the baby out of his arms. “How’s it going?”
“Not bad,” he replies. His usual charm is still missing, but I can’t blame the guy, it hasn’t been that long since he lost his wife and it’s a big adjustment, especially with a newborn around.
I look down at the baby, who in the incredible noise filled arena is fast asleep. “God, she’s precious,” I murmur.
“She is,” he tells me. “I don’t know how I’d be coping if I didn’t have her.”
I nod in agreement. It’s damn clear that Georgia has become the reason he breathes. Since the second he held her, he fell in love.
“Hey,” a chirpy Cassie says as she makes her way up the grandstand. I look up at her voice and see Bri following right behind her with her head down, probably trying to avoid eye contact.
I can’t tear my eyes off her. She looks absolutely stunning. Her hair is darker and she has this amazing glow about her. I mean, she looks fucking radiant.
Cassie walks along the row in front of us and grabs Georgia out of my hands before taking a seat. Bri looks up and gives Sean a bright smile before leaning across and giving him a kiss on the cheek. Her eyes briefly flash to me but that’s all she gives me before sitting down in the chair in front.
She leans over Cassie and gives Georgia a beaming smile before they start fighting over who gets to hold her.
The arena eventually packs out and Bobby joins the girls, but not before giving me a look that tells me to watch myself.
As the game begins the atmosphere in the arena picks up. Cassie, Bri, and Bobby are all on their feet cheering while Sean and I sit back, both of us really not in the mood. But the second Logan looks up here, we’ll both be sure to slap on a smile.
As Bri sits back in her chair, her long hair flows over the back of her backrest and I try my hardest not to reach out and run my fingers through it.
I can’t stop thinking how good she’s doing. There’s no pouting or secret tears. She must be doing heaps better. I’m happy for her. She’s put the weight back on that she lost when we first broke up, she’s laughing and looks strong. She’s drinking a bottle of water rather than soft drink, she ignores the guy walking around selling hot dogs and the way her ass sits in those jeans also doesn’t go unnoticed.
She reaches down into her bag and pulls something out. Curiosity takes over and I find myself leaning forward and peeking over her shoulder. She opens a little bottle of pills and pours one into her hand before throwing it back and swallowing it, without water, might I add. What the hell are they for? I look further and try to find the label on the bottle, but her hand is covering it.
Damn it.
They’re probably just vitamins. She literally would have absolutely no need to be taking medication and even if she did, I’m sure Cassie would have told me if she was sick. Yeah, definitely vitamins to go with her whole healthy living thing.
I sit back in my chair, satisfied with my conclusion on the pills, but it doesn’t really stop the need to dive over her and run away with her handbag until I can uncover all her secrets. But I gave up the right to know about her as Cassie continues to remind me.
Bri finally gets to steal Georgia away from Cassie and in the move, wakes her up. Her little blue eyes look up at Bri and a smile instantly lights up her beautiful face. “Hi, princess, did you have a good sleep?” she coos “You’re so beautiful. I can’t wait to have one of you.”
I watch in adoration as two of the world’s most beautiful creatures come together. “You can’t tell me you don’t want that,” Sean murmurs quietly beside me.
“If I did, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
“Quit lying to yourself,” he scoffs in a tone that suggests the topic really pisses him off. “Since Georgia was born, you’ve been different. You do everything for that baby and it’s freaking you out that you love her so much.”
I let out a breath. “I don’t know, man,” I say.
“Look, I’ve kept my mouth shut hoping you’d figure it out on your own but you’re being a fucking idiot,” he growls under his breath. “Surely Sara’s death has shown you that life is short. It’s unpredictable and you’re throwing it all away. Stop being such a scared prick and take a chance. I was terrified when I found out Sara was pregnant, but having a child is a fucking gift and now my wife is dead and I’d do anything to get that back.” He takes a quick moment to compose himself before continuing. “You’re missing out on a chance to find the greatest happiness known to man because you’re too busy being a fucking pussy.”
I sit in silence as I listen to what he has to say and to be honest, it hits me hard. Could he be right that I’m throwing away a chance to have a happy and complete life with Bri because I’m scared? I’ve never thought of it that way, but maybe he’s right.
The thought of committing to a marriage freaks me out. Before Bri, I’d never even had a long-term relationship before. My life was all about fucking around and getting laid. How do I know I won’t revert back to my old ways and destroy it? The thought of doing that to Bri, especially if we had kids is just too much. Shit, I wouldn’t even know the first thing about being a father. It’s best to just avoid that ship altogether.
“If I go down that road I’m just going to end up hurting her,” I tell Sean.
“Yeah, well you’ve already done that,” he scoffs, managing to make me feel like an absolute dick again.
I let out a breath. “I need some air,” I say, getting up and making my way down the grandstand. As I walk around the arena, I look back up at my family and see Bri looking back down at me with that baby in her arms. In that moment, I see the future I gave away.
Shit. Sean’s right. I’m pushing her away because I’m scared, and it’s taken me way too long to realize it.
The knowledge of what I‘ve done and the unnecessary hurt I’ve caused us both is almost too much to bear. She’s moved on and is finally in a good place. She’s happy in her new life without me. I’ve destroyed us.
I exit the arena feeling like an absolute prick for doing this to Logan and Jax, but I can’t be here right now. I dig my keys out of my pocket, climb in my truck and get the fuck out of there.
As I’m driving, I pass a bar and bring my truck to a screeching halt.
Chapter 15
Brianna
I did it. I saw him and I didn’t freak out. I was strong. I mean, I was dying on the inside, all I wanted was to turn around and throw myself at him just to feel his skin on mine, but the important thing is that I didn’t.
I kept my shit together and honestly, I think it’s this tiny little baby inside me that gave me the strength. Everything I do from now on is for this baby and I need to make sure I do what’s best for his future... or hers.
Something was going on with him though. He was way too quiet. I don’t think he even said a single word the whole time he was there and then he got up and left, leaving me desperate to figure out why. I managed to push the feeling away, it’s none of my business what’s going on in his life anymore and besides, if it was something ridiculously crazy, he knows he can come to me… well at least, I think he knows that.
I’ll always be there for him, after all, this baby is going to keep us connected for the rest of our lives.
I nearly lost my shit walking up the stairs of the grandstand. I had this strange feeling that he would just know I was pregnant which clearly is ridiculous, but he has always been so in tune with me so I’m glad nothing came from it.
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