So Screwed

by Melissa Marino

  She took a bite of her scone. “When I worked at the bar Venom, we had a name for girls like you.”

  “Slut, tramp, dirty—”

  “You know what?” She waved her hand around, crumbs from her scone falling like snow all over my comforter. “It’s probably better off I don’t say.”

  “You know what else is better off? If you don’t get food all over my bed.”

  She stood up and began brushing crumbs into her palm. “I’d think you wouldn’t be so grumpy considering how much you’ve gotten laid in the last two days.”

  “I happen to get a one-nighter here and there on more occasions. Although having a boyfriend now will have its perks.”

  She stopped the crumb removal and shook her head. “Wait. What?”

  “What? What?”

  “A boyfriend? Abel’s your boyfriend?”

  I shrugged, picking up the bag of pastries. “Ah. Yeah. Didn’t we go over this yesterday, and did you get only one apple scone?”

  “Shut up about the scone. You, the perpetual bachelorette? I mean, yesterday you said you were having a thing or something.”

  “Look, I like him. I’m not opposed to being exclusive because if I’m going to sleep with him on the regular I prefer to be the only one doing that with him.”

  “Then why call it anything?”

  “Because he wanted to…and…I don’t know.”

  She dumped the crumbs into the wastebasket. “I know why,” she mumbled.

  “What was that?”

  “I said I know.”

  “Oh, really? I get that you know me better than anyone, but I find it almost impossible you know what is happening when I don’t.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic. He’s your boyfriend because you want to hang out with him, having fun when you do, and not wanting him or yourself to sleep with other people means…he’s your boyfriend.”

  “I didn’t say he wasn’t.”

  “Yeah. Whatever. But haven’t you considered how this whole thing happened with him?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I mean, I’m with Aaron. You met Abel through us.”

  “And?”

  “And you don’t think that’s a bit serendipitous?”

  “Callie. You don’t believe in that bullshit and neither do I.”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t think I did, but sometimes things come together in ways that are unexplainable, like how Aaron and I met. We didn’t meet at some random bar or the library. We met after you suggested me for the nanny job.”

  I curled my lip and shook my head. “At a library? You are so twisted.”

  “It was a hypothetical. I was just sayin’. The fact of the matter is, you met in a very fated way. Plus, the both of you aren’t the type for exclusivity. It makes me happy because you’re finally opening yourself up again,” she said.

  “Well, regardless, I’m going to need you to keep an eye on Abel when I’m gone. There’s no telling what kind of trouble he’ll get himself into,” I said, rolling off the bed. “I need a shower. You staying for a while?”

  “When you’re gone? Where are you going?” she asked.

  “Oh my God. With all the boy business, I forgot to tell you! Bridget is sending me to Charleston for three months!”

  “What?” she shouted. “Three months? I can’t be without you for three months!”

  My phone on my nightstand buzzed with a text, and while I wondered if it was Abel, I needed to take care of Callie first—sisters before misters.

  “Way to be selfish, you twit,” I said. “It’s huge. Bridget is opening a By Invitation Only in South Carolina. I’m going there to help get stuff together while she stays here.”

  “But why can’t she go to Charleston?” she pouted.

  “Because she has weddings booked through the summer and fall she needs to be here for.”

  She looked disappointed, turning her attention to those ratty, pink Toms I hated, but did her best to hide it. “This is fantastic. It really is, Ev. You’ve worked so hard.”

  I glared at her, continuing to ignore my phone buzzing again, because she wasn’t getting off that easy. “You’re being a brat. I’m going to miss you, too, but it’s only a few months.”

  “Three is more than a few,” she mumbled. She shook off her funk with a shake of her head. “This is great. It really is.”

  She took me in a hug, and it was the first time I realized I was being selfish as well. Our friendship bordered on codependency. If the situation was the other way around, I’d react the same way. In fact, I was sure I did at first when she told me she was moving out to nanny for Aaron, even though I recommended her for the job, and then the second time when she moved back in after not being the nanny anymore.

  “And for the record,” she said, pulling out of our hug. “Abel isn’t going to need any watching over. It’s going to be made very clear to him if he screws this thing up with you that he’ll be walking funny for the rest of his life because I’ll be ripping him a new one.”

  “I’d expect nothing less. I think Aaron is still in recovery from when I busted his balls so hard-core when he messed up.”

  “Also,” she said, “you’re going to have to trust him. The good, the uncomfortable…whatever. Learn from my mistakes. If you don’t trust each other, there isn’t any point in having…a thing.”

  My phone vibrated for the third time. I leaned over and retrieved it from my nightstand. It was Abel.

  Abel: Lunch? Dinner? Both?

  I smiled at my phone, recognizing the familiar butterflies.

  Callie snorted. “Abel? Never mind. You don’t have to answer that. It’s written all over your face. You two are definitely in the gooey stage. It’s so weird.”

  “It is so weird. You going to hang out for a while?”

  “I can’t,” she said, slipping out of her Toms. “Aaron and I have to go grocery shopping and to Home Depot before we pick up Delilah. She spent the night at his parents’.”

  “Boy. You two live the wild, crazy life, don’t you?”

  “It can’t all be sexcapades and sugar,” she said.

  I followed her out of the room as my phone buzzed in my hand again. I glanced down at it.

  Abel: Or you can just get your sexy ass over here, get in my bed, and let me fuck your brains out for the entire day.

  Callie was wrong. For right now, it was all sexcapades and sugar.

  I waited until she was gone to respond to Abel. I wanted to tell him yes, I wanted it all. In fact, I wanted it all and then some. I wanted to spend every waking moment with him because I couldn’t get enough of him. The bar bathroom romp was one of the sexiest moments of my life—the way he wanted me, commanded me, and took me. I’d never felt so desired nor had I ever had such desire for someone else.

  I returned to my text messages, grinning again like a high school girl whose crush just asked her to prom.

  Me: This is quite an offer. Can you be more specific with the terms?

  Abel: Hang out, fuck, cheeseburgers, drinks, fuck.

  No need to be coy.

  Me: Offer accepted. Meet at your place in a couple hours?

  Abel: Cool. Need to check in at my parents’ for a few, so if I’m not at my place, I’ll be there. 4946.

  Wait. His parents? Does this mean they knew? I mean, it wasn’t like it was a secret anymore or that I hadn’t even already met his parents, but this was different. It was like meeting his parents for the first time as someone completely different.

  Me: Are you sure you want me to?

  Abel: What’s the big deal?

  Me: It seems so…official. Meeting your parents. Again.

  Abel: It’s cool. I was going to hang out with Delilah for a bit, but I don’t want to make it weird if you aren’t ready for any of that. See you at noon AT MY PLACE, beautiful.

  I headed into the bathroom to take a shower, along with the nagging sense I was doing exactly what Abel said I was. The parent thing? Making a big deal ou
t of nothing really? I looked to my reflection in the mirror, staring at the remnants of mascara under my eyes that didn’t quite wash off when I removed my makeup from the night before.

  I considered what Callie said—if I was going to be with Abel then I was going to have to trust not just him but myself. I’d have to trust that letting go meant going into scary things, like seeing his parents as his girlfriend. There was more unexpectedness than I was prepared for, but the feelings I had for Abel were overriding that.

  I leaned over and turned the shower on, knowing anything worth doing was worth doing right.

  Message received. Loud and clear.

  My excitement got the better of me, and I was ready to go in record time. By the time I arrived at Abel’s building, I was over a half an hour earlier than expected.

  Rob was outside when I arrived and nodded his head at me. “Nice to see you again, Evelyn.”

  “Thanks, Rob,” I said. “Thanks again for your help the other morning.”

  He shrugged. His navy raincoat didn’t have a wrinkle in it, and it made me wonder if he steamed it every day. “It’s what I do,” he said.

  “Well, you won’t have to anymore,” I said.

  “That’s too bad. So, things are ending?” he asked.

  I stepped into the revolving door, shouting behind me, “Nope. Just beginning.”

  I crossed the two-story lobby, the dark marble floors and matching decor shined to perfection. The shiny, gold buttons next to the list of apartment numbers lined the wall, and I scanned with my finger until I pressed firmly on the one marked 4946.

  “Hello?” said a soft voice.

  “Ah, hi. It’s…Evelyn. I was wondering if Abel was there. I was supposed to meet him but was early. He told me he was going to spend time with you this morning, or well, I guess it’s afternoon now, so I thought I’d check in.”

  Pause.

  “I hope I’m not disturbing you. I can come back if he’s busy, or if…I don’t know.”

  Pause.

  I looked at the buzzer and then my phone to make sure I had the right number. Yup. It was right.

  “Um. Okay. Thanks. I’ll go get a coffee and check in with him. At his place. If—”

  A laugh, one that I recognized, cut me off. “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Have you been listening to me this whole time making a fool of myself?”

  “Yes. You sounded so adorable being all nervous and awkward,” he said, chuckling again. “I’ll just go get a coffee.”

  The door buzzed me in, and I briefly thought about ditching him to teach him a lesson. I pulled the door open before I lost the chance as I fished out a lip gloss from my purse. As I stepped in front of the elevator, I used the reflection to apply the gloss, smiling as I did.

  “Yeah, right,” I said to my reflection. Like I’d ditch that guy now. He was so close, and it was like my body knew it.

  Or maybe it was nerves. Or annoyance. It was something because as I took the elevator up to the forty-ninth floor the realization I was going to the exact place I said I didn’t want to go was happening.

  What was I so nervous about? The parent thing? They thought I was delightful. His mom was always so kind to me as well. Then it hit me. All of the anxiety I had wasn’t about Abel’s parents knowing about us, but how they’d feel about us. Mr. Matthews did not have a good reaction when he found out about Callie and Aaron. In fact, the whole thing got ugly before it got better. The good news was Mr. Matthews knew he acted like a jackass and admitted it soon after. Both he and Mrs. Matthews adored her now. Under those circumstances, I had reason to be concerned.

  The elevator stopped, and the doors opened to the same burnt-red carpeting that lined the halls of Abel’s floor. My footsteps slowed as I approached the numbers on the doors raising to 4946.

  “Cut it out,” I whispered to myself. “You don’t do this. You don’t do nervous. You’re being ridiculous.”

  Deep breath. Knock.

  The door opened to Leslie Matthews, Abel and Aaron’s mom, and her warm smile was enough to take the edge off my nerves.

  “Come in, Evelyn,” she said, stepping aside. “Abel is saying good-bye to Delilah. It’s so nice to see you, dear.”

  She was so lovely with her ivory cashmere cardigan and the eyes so blue she had enough to pass some on to her boys.

  “Oh, thank you. You, too,” I said, walking into the home and taking it all in. It wasn’t only the gorgeous home I was taking in, it was the fact she wasn’t exactly surprised to see me. It meant he’d told his parents. About us. Mrs. Matthews looked at me kindly, her hands held close to her chest.

  She placed her hand on my arm and guided me farther inside. “Can I get you anything to drink? I heard you saying you were going to get coffee, but I have a pot all ready here.”

  “No, no. That’s okay. I was only making excuses because your son was giving me a hard time.”

  She shook her head. “Well, that’s Abel for you.”

  “Is that Evelyn?” Mr. Matthews shouted from another room.

  “Yes!” Mrs. Matthews said. “Come say hello!”

  “That’s okay. I don’t want to disturb him if—”

  “Well, Evelyn!” he said, entering the room, his loud voice only preceded by his personality. “I knew I saw a love connection with you two!”

  “Dad!” Abel yelled.

  Mr. Matthews waved his hand in the direction of Abel’s voice. “Don’t mind him. He hates to admit when he’s wrong.”

  Here I was, worried sick with nerves about how they’d receive the news about Abel and me when I should’ve been concerned about the reverse of the situation.

  “He’s down the hall. The first room on the right,” Mrs. Matthews said. “There’s a tea party in progress.”

  “This I have to see,” I said, stepping away.

  Mr. Matthews stepped in front of me, placing an arm around my shoulders and guiding me into the nearby kitchen. “You’ll be good for him.”

  It wasn’t a question, but it should’ve been. I knew he meant well and that his heart was in the right place, but based on his response when Callie and Aaron started dating, I was leery. While Callie hated confrontation, I wasn’t afraid of it when I thought someone was being disingenuous.

  “I think he’s good already,” I said with a smirk.

  “Oh, but you don’t know him like I do. My youngest needs to grow up a bit, and he’s on his way with the bar he’s opening with Aaron, but you’ll be a help. I’m proud of him for how everything is lining up.”

  What was he talking about? A bar? With Aaron?

  “What bar?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

  His arm dropped from my shoulder, and he took a step back, pressing his lips together like he knew he said something he shouldn’t have.

  “Did I mention my son also needs to learn to handle his own shit without leaving it to others?” He laughed.

  He was a handsome older gentleman. His sons took after that part of him. I hoped that was where the similarities ended. My annoyance was measured in uncomfortable silence with the occasional giggle from Delilah down the hall until Mrs. Matthews showed who I knew the boys took after in other aspects.

  “For crying out loud, Daniel,” she said. Her kind eyes turned to death stare in seconds, proving she had the wife-mom superpowers. “Mind your own business.”

  “It is my business,” he mumbled.

  “Yeah. Well, look where it got you last time you stuck your nose in where it didn’t belong. Need I remind you, dear, that unsolicited advice is still unsolicited.”

  “But—” he said before Mrs. Matthews cut him off.

  “And we are always proud of both of our sons.”

  “Leslie, all I wanted to say was—”

  “And furthermore, darling, shut up.”

  Her death stare turned to ice, and it caused Mr. Matthews to close his mouth that had words on the tip of his tongue.

  “Evelyn, you go on ahead. I know Abel is waiting for you,
” she said.

  I tried not to be too obvious about how fast I wanted to escape, and when I hurried off, I was sure my pace came across as a sprint. An uneasiness swirled around my stomach about what Mr. Matthews had said. It wasn’t that he was going into business with his brother, but the fact that he didn’t tell me. As I followed the sound of Abel’s voice, I concluded that there probably was, in fact, a reason why he didn’t. My mind jumping to a conclusion fraught with deception wasn’t fair to him.

  I hesitated outside the first room on the right, pausing to take it all in. Abel was sitting on a flowered blanket on the floor, his legs tucked into his sides as he tried to fit into the square. Across from him was Delilah, Aaron’s daughter, who had to be one of the most beautiful little girls I’ve ever seen with white-blond hair and a bob of tight ringlet curls. Every time I saw her I couldn’t get over what a sweetheart she was, inside and out. While there had been times I might have had some negative thoughts about Aaron, he’d done such an amazing job raising her on his own when his wife took off.

  He turned as I leaned against the doorway; he smiled, dimples deep. Mini teacups and saucers surrounded him, along with tiny cookies stacked atop a china plate. “I had to finish the tea party Delilah set up for us.”

  “No worries. I’m sorry for being so early. I hope I didn’t ruin your party, Delilah,” I said.

  She shook her head before picking up a small, pink-frosted sugar cookie and holding it out to me. “Want one, Evelyn?”

  “Of course,” I answered, taking the cookie from her.

  I joined them on the blanket and popped the entire cookie in my mouth. “So yummy, right, Delilah?”

  She nodded. “Can I have another one?”

  I picked up a yellow frosted cookie and handed it to her.

  “Nothing wrong with a little bit of sugar, right?” I said to Abel with a wink.

  He leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You can’t talk to me like that in front of a child.”

  He stood and held his hand down to me to help me up. Once standing, he took my face in his hands and kissed me. It was chaste, very unlike the passionate ones I was used to. It was expected considering our audience.