So Screwed

by Melissa Marino

  “Are you leaving now?” Delilah asked.

  “Yeah we are, squirt,” Abel said. “But thank you for the cookies and tea party.”

  Her face frowned and her head hung as she stared at the patterned blanket. I didn’t know how this little girl had everyone she knew wrapped around her little finger, but she did. Me included.

  “Hey,” he said, squatting down in front of her. He lifted her chin up with his hand. “Who’s my best girl?”

  She thought for a moment before answering. “Me?”

  He kissed the top of her head and stood up. “Always.”

  And just like that, anything I thought he was keeping from me slid to the back, and I knew I was falling even harder for him.

  He took my hand as we left the room and continued down the hall toward the door. I glanced at the framed photos on the walls, various stages of life pictures of the Matthews family. One of Aaron holding baby Abel, I assumed, caught my eye and I paused in front of it.

  “Look at you two,” I said, running my finger around the dark wooden frame.

  “Yeah. I think it was the day I came home. Little dude didn’t know what he was in for by being my big brother.”

  I leaned into him, resting my head on his arm as I continued to take in the picture. Aaron, who was around eight years old, was sporting the biggest “cheese” smile as the tiny Abel screamed from his swaddled blanket. The sports-themed wallpaper behind them indicated they had to be in Aaron’s room.

  “When were you going to tell me about the bar you’re opening with Aaron?” I asked, looking up at him.

  His eyes closed as he drew in a deep breath, his chest expanding as he did. “My dad, I assume?”

  “Yeah, but in his defense, he thought I knew. I think I should’ve known as well.”

  He pulled me around, positioning me so we could face each other. “I don’t want you to think I wasn’t going to tell you. I was, but I was waiting for the right time after I figured some shit out.”

  “What kind of stuff?”

  “How much of this I want.”

  My hand pushed against his chest, as I needed some separation from whatever he was trying to say. Abel’s parents’ voices carried down the hallway as they discussed where to make a reservation for dinner later that night. It seemed like such a regular conversation to have as Abel danced around the topic of how much of this thing we had, of me, he wanted.

  “You’re mad,” he said. “And I get why.”

  I crossed my arms in front of me. “I’m not mad. I’m…wondering why you told me to come here if you weren’t sure how much of me you wanted.”

  His brows furrowed as he shook his head. “Wait. What?”

  “You said you didn’t know how much of this,” I said, waving my finger between us, “you wanted. This isn’t really the type of conversation to have at your parents’ house.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me with this?” he said, his lips gradually raising to a grin before he started to chuckle.

  “No. And quit laughing at me.”

  “I’m not laughing at you, beautiful,” he said. He grabbed my waist and jerked me back to him. “I’m laughing because what you just said is ridiculous. I was talking about going into business with my brother, not us.”

  Heat from embarrassment washed across my face. “Oh.”

  He bent down, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Crazy girl.”

  “Then what did you mean?” I asked.

  “I was talking about the whole bar thing in California.”

  “California?”

  “Yeah. Partners.”

  He should’ve been excited, but his expression was anything but. That was when I understood. It wasn’t what he wanted to do, but something he thought he had to do. Teaching was where his heart was, and with no real prospects on the horizon, he was feeling the weight of his career decisions all over him.

  “Look,” he said, holding my face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

  “I know, but—” I stopped myself, considering my words. “But I’m here for you to talk this stuff out with. It’s why we have a thing, you know?”

  He nodded. “It’s an awesome opportunity, but I’m not sure it’s the right one for me. For now, I’m going with it until I have to make a definite decision.”

  It was just like I’d thought.

  “I’m not going to say you lied,” I said. “But withholding is lying once removed. I don’t like it and promise you won’t do it again.”

  “Promise,” he said, holding out his finger.

  We intertwined our pinkies and shook on it. It was good enough for me at the moment and hopefully it was for him as well. He’d need to learn to trust me as much as I needed to do the same. It made me realize I had to say one last thing.

  I stood up on my tiptoes and kissed him. “And I think it’s amazing, you taking this on. If you decide not to because you want to make the teaching thing work, well, I think that’s just as amazing.”

  “Come on,” Abel said, tugging my arm. “Cheeseburgers and…other things await.”

  His parents were nowhere to be seen as we headed toward the front door. As Abel opened it, he shouted, “We’re heading out. See you later.”

  “Bye, Evelyn!” Mr. and Mrs. Matthews said simultaneously.

  “Bye!” I said as Abel shut the door.

  As the door clicked shut, I found myself pushed up against it, Abel pressing his body into me. He swooped down, pressing his lips tightly to mine before opening his mouth and allowing his tongue to find mine. Deep kisses, his hands in my hair and mine gripping the back of his neck, led to a now-familiar sigh falling from his lips.

  “That’s more like it,” he mumbled against my mouth. “I missed you.”

  The words, along with his beard, tickled me inside and out. He missed me. It was like Callie had said—we were gooey. He smiled and rested his hands on my hips. His fingers fumbled around the middle of the jumpsuit I was wearing before he reached around my back, his hands smoothing across to my ass.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Trying to find your skin so I can touch you.”

  I stifled a moan because it was the exact thing that made me weak. His moves in bed were amazing, but he had perfected his art of words very well. I would’ve liked to have attributed it to his English major background, but I knew better. He had a lot of practice.

  “You can keep trying,” I said. “But it’s a jumpsuit. It’s all connected.”

  He grabbed my ass, giving it a squeeze. “That’s too bad. What else is too bad is I’m pretty sure you’re not wearing underwear.”

  “That’s for me to know and you to figure out.”

  “It’s not going to be all that I’m trying to figure out. Now. Back to cheeseburgers. Kuma’s?” he asked.

  It was a perfect May day, crystal blue skies and a hint of warmth coming off the mid-sixties temperature. The frigid Chicago winters turn everything gray and dirty. We see the city start to emerge as the snow all melts, and the temperatures begin to rise. It was why it wasn’t uncommon to see locals wearing shorts and sandals this early on, which we did as we walked, hand in hand, to the “L.”

  The train was crowded for a midday Sunday and was standing room only. I wrapped my arm around a steel bar, leaning against it for balance. Abel, with no place else to go, lifted his arms above me for a grip, trapping me under him.

  I looked up at him, and it took everything in me not to jump his bones on public transportation with children and clergy present. His turquoise T-shirt made his panty-dropper eyes appear bluer than normal while muscular arms held me so I didn’t fall. He made me feel safe. It wasn’t something I’d ever thought I needed or wanted, but a sense of safety was surrounding me. It wasn’t just physical. I was beginning to trust him. Giving someone else your heart was the ultimate act of trust, asking them to keep it safe, and I was slowly allowing him to do that.

  “You’re locked in pretty hard there, beautiful,�
�� he said, looking down at me and smiling deep dimples.

  Embarrassed I got caught staring, I shook my head. “Just thinking about cheeseburgers.”

  He laughed. “Mm-hmm.”

  He wasn’t buying it and who could blame him?

  * * *

  Kuma’s Corner, a heavy metal bar where every burger was named after a metal band, was always packed. The lines start forming an hour before they even opened so people knew they’d get a seat. It seemed ridiculous to wait so long for a burger when Chicago had tons of other amazing options, but there was an easy answer: the Lair of the Minotaur. A burger topped with Brie, caramelized onions, and a bourbon-soaked pear.

  For Abel, I found out, it was the Black Sabbath, a chili-and-pepper-jack cheeseburger.

  “This is the best thing I’ve had in my mouth in ages,” I said. I held my massive burger in front of me and took the most ladylike approach to taking another bite. When I tore my eyes away from the meat in my mouth, I noticed my man meat was stifling a laugh.

  I covered my mouth with a napkin. “What?”

  He ran his hand down his beard before lifting his beer bottle to his mouth for a sip, his lips still turned upward in a smirk. The longer he didn’t answer, the more paranoid I got. I wiped at my face, looked down at my shirt…anything to figure out what he was laughing at.

  “What?” I snapped. “What are you laughing at?”

  “The best thing in your mouth in ages?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “I’m offended.”

  “God. Do you guys ever not think like thirteen-year-old boys?”

  “Not that I know of.”

  I stole a fried pickle from the basket next to him. “Okay,” I said. “Second-best thing, okay?”

  “Now I don’t know if you are talking about the pickle or me.” He gave me a fake pout, looking for reassurance.

  Men were so stupidly predictable. Everything about their egos was wrapped up in their penis—whether they disguised it as a joke or not.

  “Your pickle euphemism isn’t lost on me, handsome,” I said.

  “I’d expect nothing to get past you. You still didn’t answer my question.”

  I picked up my beer and chugged the last half, placing the empty bottle on the table.

  “Nice,” Abel said with approval.

  I wiggled my finger, motioning for him to come closer. He leaned across the table, and I whispered in his ear, “Palate cleanser.”

  “Meaning?”

  “I want the best thing ever, your cock, in my mouth so I can suck you so hard you come in my mouth and I can swallow every single bit of it.”

  His jaw dropped as he gradually eased himself back in his chair. “Fuck. Me.”

  “I plan on it,” I said with a wink.

  Chapter Fourteen

  ABEL—

  I almost took her in the bathroom and fucked her right there, but since our last go was in WET’s bathroom, I decided to be a gentleman. Yes. I was the gentleman who waited until we were back at her place.

  One of these days I was going to try the slow, seductive sex thing with her, but we couldn’t control ourselves long enough to get that far. We tumbled into her apartment and down the hall to her bedroom, tearing at each other’s clothes while our mouths never separated from our kisses. She lifted my shirt over my head and yanked me back to her with her fingers slipped into the top of my jeans. Her fingers began unbuttoning them as the palm of her hand started stroking my dick.

  “How the fuck do you get this off,” I tugged at the jumper-onesies-whatever-the-hell-she-was-wearing thing.

  She giggled and reached behind her head, unbuttoning a tiny hook hidden behind her hair. It loosened the top enough for me to yank it over her shoulders and down her arms. Even though I was a master bra unhooker, I wasn’t going to fuck around with her bra. I pushed the lace cup down and leaned down, taking her breast in my mouth.

  She leaned against the wall behind her, digging her hands into my hair, and pulling me to her. I sucked and bit and did everything I already knew she liked. And the way she kept repeating my name, “God, Abel.” Over and over, I knew she liked it a lot.

  I pushed the rest of her outfit down before it fell to the floor and she stepped out of it. Just as I suspected, no panties. I tore myself away from her breast, running my tongue up through the center of her chest to her neck. Taking a handful of her hair, I pulled her head back.

  “I fucking knew it,” I breathed into her ear. “Now, get on your knees, Evelyn.”

  She yanked her head from me. “Take your pants off, Abel.”

  Toe. To. Fucking. Toe.

  She sank to her knees as I unzipped my jeans and pushed them down along with my boxers. A tiny smirk emerged at seeing me so hard and ready for her. Her hand wrapped around my shaft, and she started pumping, twisting, up and down. It was good, but it wasn’t what I wanted.

  “Look at me, Evelyn,” I said.

  I waited until she obeyed, noticing her lips free of her lipstick, slightly (swollen) from all our making out.

  “I want your mouth on me,” I said. “Show me like you promised.”

  The words were barely out before she fucking took every inch of me in. She paused, looking back up at me, and brought her mouth back up to the tip. Her tongue ran round, round, before bringing me back in deep. My hips met the beat of her head, her mouth, her hands. Her hair fell into her face, so I brushed it away, holding it away from her face so I could watch her.

  “That’s my girl.”

  I moved, I moaned, and she got every cue. I tried to hold off, so I could finish by getting inside her, but the girl knew what she wanted.

  I dragged my finger along her cheek, “It’s time, beautiful,” I said.

  She increased her speed and grip just so, and I gave in.

  And she did as she promised.

  Every. Last. Bit.

  She sat back against her calves and winked at me, clearly proud of a job well done. “That’s my guy.”

  I was pleased with her performance as well, but my mind, my body, had already moved on to what I wanted to do to her.

  “Stand up,” I demanded.

  She shook her head. “Remember last time? I told you I was going to be the boss this time. I let you get your kicks, now it’s my turn.”

  Christ.

  “On your knees, Abel,” she said. Her eyes backed up her demand, meeting mine as I did what she told me.

  There didn’t need to be any further instruction. My mouth was on her, tonguing where she was so fucking wet from me that my dick was already in recuperation mode. I loved that I turned her on so hard. I loved that her giving me head made her so ready for me.

  Her hand on the back of my head, her back arched into me. I slipped a finger inside, and with a few strokes as I tongued her clit, she cried out, coming against my mouth. I kept moving until she halted on her own. I was nothing if not a gentleman in the oral department. You don’t stop moving until she does. Then when she pulls away, you stop. It was basic lady head protocol.

  As I began to stand, I wrapped my arms around her legs and threw her over my shoulders, slapping at her perfect ass. She giggled as I dropped her onto her unmade bed. We crawled under the covers, and she tucked herself into my side. We lay quiet, both of us catching our breath after such a hard-core romp.

  “Can I ask you something?” she said after a few minutes. “And if it’s none of my business, you can tell me to buzz off.”

  “Evelyn, you’re amazing, but even I need some downtime.”

  She lifted her head and playfully slapped my chest before returning to next to me. Her blond hair spread out, laid out across me. As I waited for her question, I raked my hands through it, dragging my fingers to the curled ends and repeating.

  “Go ahead,” I said.

  “What did you mean earlier when you said that Aaron had no idea what he’d be getting himself into having you for a little brother?”

  “Nothing.” I shrugged. “I was joking, I guess.”

&nbs
p; Her head lifted, and she sat her chin on my chest. “You guess?”

  “Well, I’m sure it’s no secret that I’m a fuckup, and luckily for Aaron he’s the one to bail me out a lot.”

  “Define fuckup. I mean, making some dumb choices doesn’t mean you’re a fuckup necessarily.”

  I sighed because I wasn’t sure how much I wanted to tell her. It wasn’t like I was an ex-con or anything, but it was humiliating.

  “Let’s just say, I’ve found myself in a sticky situation or two, and Aaron has always been there. Why are you asking?”

  “Your dad said something odd to me, and I wasn’t sure how to take it.”

  “Something more odd than spilling the beans about the California bar? He doesn’t waste any time,” I said, shaking my head.

  “It was more what he didn’t say. I’m sure it was innocent enough, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

  “It wasn’t some dirty old man talk was it? Because he still thinks he’s a player and can flirt, but it usually turns into him looking like a jackass.”

  “No, not dirty. He told me I’d be good for you, and he was proud, but you had some growing up to do.”

  A rush of anger came through me, knowing what he said, but as soon as it came, it was gone. When you’ve been witness to an older brother constantly being put on a pedestal, you’ve been viewed as nothing more than the prodigal son.

  I sighed. “It’s a not-so-subtle dig that I still haven’t found a teaching job, work at my brother’s bar, but now while still riding Aaron’s coattails, I’m going into business with him.”

  Her nails lightly grazed across my lower stomach, circles and zigzagging across the skin. “It’s not like you’re not trying, right? Sometimes the right job isn’t as easy to find as people would expect.”

  “It’s not that. They know I’m trying, but it was my choices that led me here.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “If I had the business sense and was savvy enough like Aaron was, I wouldn’t need to rely on them. Aaron has fronted most of the money for the California bar and is allowing me to pay my way in a little at a time. The whole thing makes me feel like I still can’t measure up because it’s not what I want for myself. I chose to be a teacher, and as anyone knows, it’s not exactly a profitable career. Rewarding yes, but moneymaking no.”