Being Diane

by Dennis Adkins

  Chapter 17

  When it came time to leave Mrs. Givens lined us all up and inspected us from head to toe. What she didn't like we had to change. Mr. Givens was standing to the side looking at his watch. Mrs. Givens got through with us and walked up to him and started looking him over also. “Miranda, we don't have time for this.” he complained.

  “Make time.” was all she said as she straightened his tie and made sure his belt was in the right place. Then she proclaimed that we were all up to snuff and off we went.

  Since there were seven of us. Julie said she would take her car. But Mr. Givens nixed that and told Robert to take his instead and the three girls could ride with him. We were excited about it since it was a Mustang. I drew the front seat. Annie groused that I had cheated, but I couldn't have since I threw rock in rock paper scissors. Robert told us to buckle up and took off.

  At the church, we met up with the others and Mrs. Givens orchestrated our walk into the church like a drill Sargent. Robert leaned in close and said I dare you to salute. I declined and took my place in the line. This had been the first time in a year since I had been a church. The last time was disaster. Mrs. Givens had us sitting about middle way down on the right. She talked to everybody around them greeting them and introduced us. Then when the organ started playing I nearly jumped out of my seat. I wasn't ready for that since the church I had attended didn’t allow musical instruments. All in all, it was an inspiring sermon and an inspiring experience. No one called me names and I wasn't attacked by the deacons in the church. I really enjoyed it. They really liked to sing because we sang about six songs during the service. This was a truly uplifting experience.

  You see about a year ago I went to a rather conservative country church. The preacher was a hell fire and damnation type that absolutely did not like nor want any of the males in his church to have long hair and he didn't want the females to wear pants. It was his way or the highway. I had been letting my hair grow for about six or eight months and one Sunday, I was sitting in the back and he brought out a chair and set it in front of the pulpit. Then he started preaching on the sins of feminism and how it was wrong for the boys to have long hair and the girls to wear pants and shorts. Then he said that it was the duty of each parent to make sure that their kids were brought up in the bible. I had a bad feeling about what was going to happen and I was right. Two fathers brought their sons down to the front and made their boys sit in the chair. They didn't have really long hair at all and the preacher took a pair of hair clippers and shaved their heads. Then he turned his attention on me and told me to come to the front to repent. I stood and told him I didn't have anything to repent for, but he said I did. I said “Judge not for as Yee judge so shall Yee be judged.” and started to leave. He started to rant about me being a demon and that I needed to be more repentant I was about out the door when one of the deacons that I really didn't like caught me by the arm and started to drag me down the aisle to the chair. I kicked him hard on the shin and bit his hand and he let go. I took off and walked home madder than an ole wet hen and have never been back.

  At the end of the service, I was putting on my coat and a guy about my age came up behind me and helped me put it on. He was blond and tall and muscular and he had braces on his teeth. I thanked him and was trying to figure out what else to say. Then he spoke. “Hi my name is Albert what's yours?”

  Sally saw that I was unsure of what to do so she intervened, “Hi I'm Sally and my very shy friend here who has never been kissed by a boy is Diane.”

  “It's a pleasure to meet you, Diane.” he said. “I have been watching you all during the service and I was trying to figure out a way to meet you.” When I didn't say anything he went on, “So are you visiting I don't think I have ever seen you here before.”

  I decided he wasn't going to go away so I answered his question. “Yes, I am visiting. I am staying with the Givens family.”

  “Really so where are you from?” he asked.

  “I am from Salem. So where do you live?” I said relaxing and started to talk.”

  “I live about two blocks from here. When are you going home?”

  “I think we are leaving this afternoon.” I replied.

  “Are you doing anything this afternoon?” he asked.

  “I really don't know right now. I think we are going to a movie and then heading back home.” I said hoping he would take the hint.

  “Albert what a pleasure. How's your mother?” interrupted Mrs. Givens.

  “She's just fine, she is around here somewhere. I was just talking to Diane.” he said nervously.

  “Yes, she's one of Julie’s students. She brought her up for the weekend. Say would you like to go to a movie with us this afternoon?” asked Mrs. Givens.

  “Oh Lord!” I thought, please say no. I really didn't need a boy mooning over me. My life was complicated enough without him.

  “I would love it, but I have to ask my Mom first. Excuse me. I'll be right back.” and he took off like he was shot out of a cannon.

  “Don't worry honey it will do you some good to see what it is like to be out with a boy.” said Mrs. Givens with a, “I'm just an innocent match maker look”.

  Sally spoke up and said, “Don't worry I will be right with you so he won't molest you.”

  “I'm more worried about you molesting him.” I teased.

  “That would be alright too.” She said and giggled.

  He came back and his mother was with him. “Hello, Miranda, Albert here says you have invited him to go to the movies this afternoon. I don't see why not, so who is going?”

  Mrs. Givens, said. “I am taking Julie and her three young charges to the movies. Let me introduce you to, Annie, Sally and Diane.”

  “Hello girls. I take it Albert has already introduced himself. I think it would be a marvelous idea for him to go with you. If you would give me a call when you are through I will come and get him.” Albert's mother said.

  “Nonsense I will drop him off after the movie. There's no need for you to get out again. As a matter of a fact why don't you let us take him now and he can eat lunch with us and then go to the movie.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “That would be nice. Then I will leave him with you then. Albert you need to be on your best behavior.” said Albert's mother.

  “Yes mam I will.” he said.

  I love Mrs. Givens but I was writing her out of my will, whenever I got one. Although I may need one soon I was thinking.

  We went and had lunch and Sally and Annie kept Albert answering questions about himself. I tried to sit between Sally and Julie but that wasn't going to happen. They maneuvered me to the seat next to Albert. He seemed really nice and was just as shy as I was. Annie was sitting on the other side of him and she was talking his ear off. It seemed as though he also was in the band at his school, St. Something or another, and he played the saxophone also. The school was an all-boys school but they had a sister school that was all girls. He wasn't a jock because he had balance problems caused by his ears. He had two sisters, both were older than him. I noticed that his finger nails were polished with a clear polish and a little on the long side. He also had long hair although not as long as mine. That was when I saw the faint color of a skin tone eye shadow. I warmed up to him instantly.

  I asked him what kind of music he liked to play and what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. I giggled at some of his answers and looked into his eyes like I had seen Ted and Julie do. I played coy and shy. I liked playing the girl games. He turned all of his attention toward me. Annie and Sally stopped trying to get him to talk to them. We had finished with the meal when Ted came up.

  “Hello Mr. and Mrs. Givens, Julie. I hope you don't think I am following you or anything. I am here with my parents and saw you sitting here as we were leaving. We had been to church and came to eat lunch.” He said.

  “We didn't see you in church.” said Mr. Givens.

  “We were sitting in the balcony. I really loved the sermon today. J
ulie you look beautiful today. Well you look beautiful every day so today isn't any different.” he stammered.

  “Down boy.” said Mr. Givens.

  “Roger he was just being nice paying Julie a compliment.” said Mrs. Givens.

  “Hmm, I am going to have to make sure that the roses are thriving I guess.” said Mr. Givens and I giggled at that. He gave me a 'don't say a word look'.

  Mrs. Givens was in rare form and spoke right up. “Ted we are going to the movies this afternoon and I was wondering what you were doing?”

  “Nothing that I know of. I need to see a patient of mine before she leaves town. That's all.” he replied.

  “Great then you can come with us.” she stated. “Now if you will excuse me I want to see your Mother.” and she got up and walked away.

  “I guess that I need to make sure that they don't get into one of their long winded conversations. So I will see you at the movies. Julie, Girls, Mr. Givens, Robert.” and he left.

  Julie was staring at him as he left with a rather starry eyed expression on her face. “Earth to Julie. Come in Julie.” said Mr. Givens. “I don't know which one is worse Ted or Julie.”

  “Well just make sure he isn't allergic to Roses.” I said.

  We left and went to the movies. I was sitting in back with Albert and Annie. Julie put Sally up front with her and Mrs. Givens. She said to keep her away from Albert. I think she wanted her to not interfere with the two of us. Nothing was going to happen anyway. I suspected that he was just like me only he didn't have the opportunity to express himself like I had right now. I guess that I was lucky in that aspect. The only thing I was concerned about was that I was going to have to go back to being Dennis this afternoon and I didn't want to.

  At the movies, Mrs. Givens put Albert next to me at the end of the row. Albert was very shy and didn't say anything until I leaned in close and asked. “How long have you wanted to be a girl?”

  He looked at me and I sensed that he was going to bolt any minute now. I reached over and took his hand in mine and he relaxed some. “How did you know?' he whispered.

  “I saw the eye shadow and the nail polish. I think that you did an excellent job of applying it. And I love the color.”

  “Don't tease me. It's not nice.” he replied.

  “I'm not teasing you. I have the same problem.”

  He looked at me in surprise. “You are a girl that wants to be a boy.”

  “Not quite, but close. So how long have you known about it?” I asked.

  “All my life. At first, my mom thought it was cute but now she watches me all the time so I won't act on it. Dad makes me play sports and I am not good at them. Mom searches my room almost every day looking for my girl things and dad refuses to let me out of the house except to go to school. I was surprised that they let me come here with you.” he said.

  “I won't say anything to anyone about it. I am glad to meet you. I'll bet you would look good in a dress with your hair fixed.” I said.

  We watched the movie and enjoyed each other’s company and when it came time to go home I saw a familiar sadness in his face. It was just like the one that I had a lot. I held his hand and walked with him. When we dropped him off, his father was waiting for him at the side walk and immediately put his arm around him and walked him straight to the house. I felt so bad for him. I saw his father practically throw him through the door and slam it behind them.

  Mrs. Givens said. “I wonder what that was all about? Diane did he say anything to you?”

  “Yes mam. He's just like me.” was all I said quietly so no one could hear me.

  We packed up and got ready to leave. Mr. Givens hugged us all and told us he was so glad that we had come. Mrs. Givens did the same but she hugged Julie really tight and when they separated, she was crying.

  “Mom, I'm just down the road so don't start crying because I'm going home.” exclaimed Julie.

  We loaded up the car and left. Sally was sitting next to me. “Diane, is something wrong?” she asked.

  “I was thinking about Albert. I saw a look of fear in his eyes when we pulled up to his house and his father was waiting for him. Something is wrong there, bad wrong. I can feel it.” I said.

  Sally let it drop and started talking about the upcoming basketball season. Annie joined in and the two of them talked for a while. I laid my head back and fell asleep. I woke up at Annie's house. I helped her get her suitcase out of the trunk and hugged her good bye. The we dropped Sally off at her house and I got out again and helped her get her suitcase out and hugged her good bye. Sally sneaked a kiss though right out in the open and grabbed up her suit case and ran inside.

  “So are you glad to be home?” asked Ms. Givens.

  “I guess so. I really want to be back in Memphis where I can be who I really am, but that isn't feasible, so I might as well be happy.” I said sadly.

  “So what did you think of Albert? I thought he was really nice. I have known his parents for years now, but I just don't understand why his father threw him into the house like that. That was strange.” she said.

  “Ms. Givens, if I told you something in confidence would keep that confidence?” I asked.

  “Of course honey.”

  “Albert is like me. He wants to be a girl. I saw that he had a very lite colored eye shadow on and he had polished his nails. He said his parents didn't understand and were trying to make him into a 'man'. He said his parents search his room all the time to find his girl things and he has had to find places to hide them. He didn't say it but, I think they beat him when they find his things.”

  “I see now. I was wondering why his parents acted the way they did. I was standing behind them when he asked his mother and she wanted to know if you, Annie and Sally were normal. I thought that bordered on rude, but I was glad to see that you two got along so well. I'm sure he will be alright.” she said unconvincingly.