“Oh, all right.” He agreed with exaggerated sorrow.
“Big baby. What do you want for dinner?”
“Beef.”
“Take a moment, think about it, you don’t have to answer right away.” I teased.
“Okay…” He paused for a quick second. “I’d like beef please.”
“Beef soup?” I teased.
“You have an unhealthy obsession with soup, woman.”
“Woman?” I shot back, teasing.
“Can I not state the obvious?”
“Whatever. Okay, Mr. Beef. I’ll get you a steak or something. Sound good?”
“Delicious. I can’t wait.” He sighed as if lost in the thought.
“Eat your lunch and I’ll see you… when exactly?”
“Is six too late? That’s about when I could get there.”
“Six is fine.”
I began to spoon food into Chase’s open mouth and kept an eye on Javan, who was chasing a noodle with his spoon.
“I’ll see you then, Abby.”
“You too, Levi. Oh! Wait, you need my address.”
“Can you text it to me? I’ll put it on my smartphone GPS.”
“No problem. See you later.”
“Bye.”
****
The steaks were marinating in the fridge, and the potatoes were baking. Everything was ready, but I was nervous and needed something to do with my hands. After cleaning up, again, I decided to make apple cobbler. I almost used butter before I remembered Levi’s allergy and then used oil to make a crumb crust instead. Lord, please let it turn out!
Chase and Javan were thrilled we were having company. Javan kept checking the window and asking how much longer. What did I say to them about Levi? That he was my friend? This wasn’t high school. It’s not like Levi had ‘asked me out’ or anything. We were friends, true, but, friends with the hope of more? No, that seemed too casual. While Levi and I hadn’t kissed, the conversations we had were more intimate in nature than kisses. Oh well, friend it’ll be. That would have to do.
“Javan? Honey, don’t stand on the end table. You’ll knock it—“ A loud crash echoed through the living room and kitchen as Javan tumbled off the teetering table and landed in a heap on the floor. The lamp crashed after him, thankfully landing on the soft carpet and not shattering the light bulb.
“Mom!” Javan cried as I gathered him up off the floor and drew his legs up onto my lap as I sat down on the couch. There were no wounds I could see; he was more scared than anything. I doubt he’ll do that again. The tears slowed as I kissed his head and held him close. Chase toddled over to stand by my knee and laid his head on my lap and sucked his thumb. After a moment, he lifted his head and took his thumb out of his mouth and offered it to Javan. The gesture brought a smile to my lips, and I watched Javan’s reaction carefully, curious as to what he’d do. With a skeptical evaluation of the wet thumb, he leaned forward and kissed it for Chase, who in turn giggled. Javan laughed in return, his fear forgotten, and I gave him one more quick hug before setting him down on the rug.
Levi knocked once before I opened the door and let him in.
“Hi there.” I grinned a bit shyly. It was different, having him in my home rather than at Samantha’s or my parents’ house. Did he notice it as well?
“Hi, Abby.”
His warm gaze roamed over my features for a moment before his gaze settled on my lips. The intensity of his gaze lasted only for a moment before he closed off his expression, but a lingering heat settled over me.
A warm hand grasped mine and squeezed before Levi released me and bent down to see eye to eye with Javan.
I shut the door and watched.
“Hello, Javan. How are you this evening?” Levi’s tone was warm but serious, and Javan responded immediately.
“Good!” He nodded, mimicking an adult. The response was so cute I lifted my hand to hide my smile; I didn’t want him to think I was laughing at him.
“That’s great! Did you help your mom with dinner?”
“Yes.” Javan nodded again. “I helped put napkins on the plates. So we don’t get dirty shirts.”
“That’s a good job, Javan.” Levi nodded before ruffling up Javan’s hair and turning to Chase, who was hiding behind his older brother.
“Hi there, half-pint. Were you good for your mom too?”
His tone with Chase was softer, gentler, and Chase nodded, his thumb still stuck in his mouth.
“Good job, Chase.” Levi smiled at him.
Chase watched Levi rise and shrug out of his coat. His eyes were taking in every one of Levi’s movements. When Levi turned around, he glanced at me and held his arms out to Chase, waiting for me to give the okay before he reached down to Chase’s already outstretched arms. I nodded and Levi scooped Chase into the air and earned a delighted laugh.
“Me, me, me!” Javan shouted as Levi pretended to drop Chase to earn another laugh.
“Okay, Javan, give me a moment.”
He put Chase down and out of the way before he did the same maneuver with Javan. The loud giggles were a welcome noise and my face began to ache from the huge grin I was wearing.
“All right, you guys, who’s hungry?” I called as I made my way into the kitchen.
“Me!” Javan shouted and raised his hand, jumping up and down.
“Me!” Levi laughed as he raised his hand as well, sharing a smile with Javan.
Chase followed suit and offered up a hand as well, with a curious expression on his face.
“Give me ten to fifteen minutes and we’ll be good to go.”
****
The boys were tucked into their beds when I came into the kitchen and saw Levi loading up the dishwasher. The sight was alluring, and I leaned against the doorjamb and watched for a moment. Nothing more attractive than a man doing dishes.
“You’re acting as if you’ve never seen a man operate one of these before.” He glanced back at me with a wry expression.
“I must say I’m impressed,” I drawled as I walked closer.
“I don’t know whether that’s a good thing or if you just insulted my intelligence,” he commented with a smirk as he flicked warm water on my face.
“Oh really?” I remarked dipping my fingers into a stray water glass and flicking them, spraying much colder water on his face.
“Oh, Abby, darlin’, you don’t want to start anything with me.”
He spoke with a fierce gleam in his eye that both enticed and challenged me.
“Oh, okay.” I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to the other side of the sink. He watched me for a moment before he made a mistake and took his eyes off of me, reaching for a towel. I struck. With quick motions, I turned on the cold water, while simultaneously reaching for the spray part of the faucet, and hosed him down. For a moment he just stared at me, and I wondered if I had pushed him too far, but it was better for me, for us, to know now if he couldn’t handle a joke. I waited. After that stunned moment, his eyes took on a wicked gleam as he leaned in close to me and whispered.
“You just declared war.”
His eyes captivated mine, and I could smell apples and cinnamon on his breath. Involuntarily I leaned forward, inhaling and drawn in by his warmth. The deep blue of his gaze went from challenging to smoldering all within a moment, and my belly clenched, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Frozen, I paused, waiting for him to make the next move. The question in his eyes was lost when he closed his eyes for a moment and then drew back slightly, offering me a challenging grin.
He held one hand up and over above his head, and I watched it, curious. But before I could glance back at him and question his actions, his other hand reached around and took a rag and pressed it into my side.
The wet fabric of my shirt clung to my skin, and I glanced down at my side and back at Levi with my mouth still open in shock. The triumphant grin on his face provoked me, and I recovered from my shock. The half empty glass of ice water captured my attention and I re
ached for it, but Levi saw my intent and tried to stop me. The glass was slippery from condensation and I tried to hold on, but Levi’s grip was stronger, so I resorted to lower methods. With my free hand I reached over and tickled his side, hoping it would work. With a loud yowl Levi jumped at my touch, loosened his hold on the glass, and I quickly tossed the contents at his shirt. He hissed at the icy water as it hit him, and he offered me a glare. I couldn’t bite back my grin over the victory.
“That’s it.” He lunged forward and effortlessly took both of my hands within one of his own and with his free hand took another glass of water and held it over my head. “You asked for this, missy.”
I struggled to get free but my laughter had made me weak, and I was useless in trying to loosen his grip. Not for a moment was he holding me too tightly, but his grip was solid, and I had no chance for escape. The water was frosty as it cascaded down my hair and into my face, dripping from my clothes to the floor. My eyes, which had closed as he poured the water, now glared at him, and he chuckled at my open contempt.
“You kind of remind me of a wet kitten. You think you’re fierce, but you’re really, well. Not.” He teased, raising one eyebrow as he watched me try to struggle to gain my freedom once more as his hands still held mine firmly.
“Easy, there, don’t want to hurt yourself.” He joked.
The realization that we just had an epic water fight in my kitchen caused me to begin to giggle. The giggles turned into loud laugher and then I snorted.
“There it is. I was waiting for that,” Levi teased between bouts of his own laughter.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes and reached for a towel when he released my hands.
“I told you it was war.”
“Yeah, but you have the advantage of years of practice with your siblings. Willi would have killed me if I got her wet. She’s like a cat.” I joked as I opened up a drawer and offered Levi a dry kitchen towel.
“I’ll give you credit, you had me for a minute with the tickling thing.” He grinned as he rubbed his soaking shirt.
“I was hoping it would pay off,” I said. “I’m glad you’re not one of those crazy ones that aren’t ticklish, it’s just somehow wrong. How can someone not be ticklish?” My words were punctuated by my tossing the wet towel at his face.
“Do you really want to start this again?” Levi asked with a smile as he tossed the towel back.
“Hmm, maybe later.” I winked, then blushed at how my words could be taken.
Levi’s eyebrows shot up at my words before he seemed to notice my blush.
“Hmm, don’t tempt me, Abby, at least don’t tempt me more than you already do.” He spoke lowly.
The smoldering quality in his eyes couldn’t be masked by his playful tone.
I shook my head and asked him to wait a moment. The hallway creaked as I checked on Javan and Chase before running into my room to change into dry clothes. For a moment I was sorry that Levi had to stay in his wet ones, but there was nothing I could do about it. Even if Jack had left some clothing here, it wouldn’t have fit Levi, as he had about three inches on Jack and was much broader. Comfortable in my yoga pants and cami with an oversized shirt, I padded into the kitchen. Levi was sitting at the table and grinned as I entered.
“I like this look on you.”
“The drowned rat look?”
That earned a chuckle.
“No, the relaxed look. This is probably what you look like, minus the wet hair, when I call you and you’re chasing around the boys or cooking or something. I like that I have a picture now.”
“Oh, well yes, you’re right. I don’t exactly dress up each day.” I nodded and raised an eyebrow. “I need to wear clothes that are very forgiving and very, very washable.” I teased.
“Practical, I like that.” Levi grinned as I went to sit down.
“Hold on just a moment, I’m going to grab some clothes from my truck. I don’t want to keep dripping water all over. Plus wet jeans are miserable.”
I nodded as he left. After a moment he came in, and I pointed to the bathroom. He emerged in jeans and a grey sweatshirt, the faint smell of diesel fuel surrounding him.
“I keep an extra set in my truck because, well, I work on a dairy and let’s just say I get dirty more often than not.” His expression said he was downplaying it, a lot, but I didn’t ask questions.
“So…” Levi began as he pulled out his chair and sat down. Tightness in my chest began to throb. Though I knew Levi wouldn’t judge me, I didn’t want to dive headfirst into my miserable ex-marriage. Part of me wanted to pretend it didn’t happen; yet I knew I had two irreplaceable blessings through it. With a fortifying breath, I focused on Levi’s face.
“So, before we even start, I want you to know about me.”
The words surprised me, and I waited for him to continue, hoping I didn’t look as shocked as I felt.
“As you know, I’m a PK, pastor’s kid, but don’t let the tag line fool you.” He offered me a wry grin before continuing. “My track record is far from perfect, Abby. That’s why I’m so careful now.” His blue eyes searched mine for a moment before he continued. “When I was seventeen, I thought I was in love with this girl. She was a few years older than me, and after I graduated, we had planned on getting married, someday.”
The thought of Levi belonging to another woman shot pangs of jealousy straight through my gut. He doesn’t belong to you, Abby. I reminded myself, but the pain didn’t subside.
“Well, suffice it to say that I thought I knew better than God, or my parents, and when I graduated, I left my parents and moved in with Jaymie.”
He watched my face for a moment before continuing. “She died about six weeks later from complications with an ectopic pregnancy.”
Levi closed his eyes for a moment before leaning back in his chair and waiting for me to respond. All I could think of was how much it would hurt to lose a child.
“I can’t imagine how that would hurt… to lose a child, Levi.”
“Me either, Abby, because it wasn’t mine.”
“What?” I asked, completely confused.
“Oh, I thought it was. She had told me it was, but a few months after the funeral I was told the truth by her parents and the real father of the baby. Needless to say I felt like ten kinds of fool.” He shook his head and thumbed his nose. Sniffing, he turned his attention back to me. “It took me a while to not only forgive myself for being such an idiot, in many ways, but also to forgive Jaymie for betraying me and for lying. It’s not been an easy road for me, Abby, but God has pulled me closer to Him through it, and the ashes that once were my life now are filled with new promise.” His eyes searched mine, willing me to understand. And I did.
“How did you heal?” I asked, quietly.
“Time, prayer, and a lot of stubborn people telling me to get over my pride.” He chuckled a bit. “Two of them being Frank and Sam.”
The thought of Sam and Frank cornering Levi brought a smile to my face. Yeah, he’d get the gun with both barrels aimed at him with those two.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that, Levi. There is nothing worse than betrayal.”
Levi laughed without humor at my honest statement. “You’re absolutely correct.”
“My turn?” I asked quietly. But what did I have to be afraid of when Levi just laid out his whole past for me to see? With a determined spirit I began.
“I met Jack in college, we dated, and I thought the world of him. He was studying to get his Master’s in Theology at the time. After about six months, he asked me to marry him, and I accepted readily.” I took a deep breath and continued.
“Jack graduated and we married shortly after, but he got a job at a small university a few hours away. Education was really important to him, so he wanted me to stay on campus to finish up my undergrad, and I’d drive to be with him on the weekends. We did that for about a year when we found out Javan was on the way, and I barely graduated before he was born. Jack was fired from hi
s job a few months later because of allegations against him from a female student.” I paused, watching Levi’s reaction. He closed his eyes for a moment as if feeling the betrayal for me.
“He said they were false, and they probably were. The female student had a track record for lying and trying to use manipulation to get her way. Either way, we moved here, my hometown, so that I’d be next to my parents. Jack floundered for a job, then was hired by a local engineer, effectively using his undergrad minor. As time went on, Jack began to be more and more angry, demanding, and worst of all, demeaning. It got to the point where I wrote lists of things I could and couldn’t do so that I wouldn’t forget and mess up. When I found out I was expecting again, the morning sickness compounded everything. I don’t need to go into detail, but it was bad. About six months before Chase was born, Jack came home and after dinner spoke with me for about three hours, telling me he wanted out, had never loved me, just lusted after me, and now didn’t find me attractive any longer. He wasn’t happy, didn’t like the responsibility of coming home to a family, and didn’t see any reason to say. I promised to work harder and begged him to stay, to think about what he was saying, and how his children needed him. Nothing seemed to faze him. It was like his mind was already made up, and he was just giving me the courtesy of telling me before he did it.”
I shook my head, and the movement caused a building tear to sweep down my face, leaving a warm salty trail on my skin. Though I didn’t love Jack like that anymore, the hurt, the raw pain of someone saying those things, wasn’t easy to forget. The kitchen was silent, and I glanced up at Levi, who was crossing his arms. The veins in his forearms stood out against his skin with his sweatshirt sleeves pushed up. His expression was carefully neutral, but his posture gave away his anger.
“Frank and Samantha were the reason he stayed as long as he did. I don’t know what happened, or what Frank said, but I do know that Jack turned around for a few weeks before things went from bad to worse.” With a deep sigh, I finished my sad tale.
“He left shortly after Chase was born, at least officially left. He had been here and there for about two months before that.” I paused. “But when he left, it was the worst day of my life, trumped only when he told me he had been having an affair during our now non-existent marriage.” I released a deep sigh and leaned back.
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