Finding My Forever

by Michelle,Shevawn

  “Somebody say coffee?”

  They turned to see Katrina stretching her arms high above her head, mid yawn. “I’ll get us a cup.”

  Katrina left not long after, giving Allie and Braxton some privacy. They needed to discuss what would happen now. Allie was in the shower and Braxton thumbed through some of her school books while he waited. He thought some of his courses were tough, but looking at all the long medical words that he couldn’t half pronounce, he could see how the stress of school factored in with everything else she had going on.

  Her hair was still damp as she exited the bathroom. Towel in hand, she worked to dry it as much as possible before tossing it into the hamper, which was really nothing more than a laundry basket next to the door. Braxton closed the book and put it back on the desk in its place.

  “Thinking of changing your major to Pre-Med?”

  “Are you kidding? I don’t know how you keep up with all of that.”

  “To tell you the truth, I’m struggling right now. I couldn’t focus on that especially when I was having a hard enough time focusing on myself. You see the mess I made of that.”

  “Maybe you need to take a break.” He stood and placed his hand on the small of her back, guiding her to the couch. “Sometimes what we perceive as a mess, isn’t really that at all. If I learned anything at all from my mother, it’s that we all have a strength in us we don’t fully understand or recognize until something unplanned or tragic happens. It all boils down to how you look at it, and what you’re willing to do to come out on top. We may get knocked down, but if we give it all we have, there’s nothing that can keep us from getting back up, stronger, smarter, and with more clarity.”

  “When did you get so smart?”

  “Yesterday, about two o’clock.”

  She laughed, erasing the worry lines that had appeared between her eyebrows.

  “So, what do we do now and where do we go from here?”

  “I’d like for you to come back with me to Tuscaloosa. Maybe take some time off from school, just focus on you for a change. Let me take care of you.”

  “I don’t know. What about a place to live? How would we support ourselves? I don’t want to be the reason you put your goals on hold.”

  “You wouldn’t be and my reason is simple. Us-- you, me, and this unborn baby. I’ll keep going to college, work on my degree. When you’re ready to go back, then you can. As for a house, I can rent us a place.”

  “You can’t go to school full time, work, and take care of me. It’s too much.”

  “I won’t have to work.” He reached up and touched her cheek. “I have money. My mother made sure I would be taken care of before she died. I never had a reason to spend any of it until now. She would want me to take care of you.”

  “And you know that how?”

  “Because she told me so. I think she knew how I felt about you, even at a young age, when I didn’t fully understand it myself. In her last letter to me, she told me to protect you always.”

  Her eyes filled with tears.

  “Braxton, no, you’re already doing too much for me now. I can’t let you do this.”

  “I’m doing this, because I love you. I want a life with you. Not just a temporary life, Allie. I want a forever life.”

  Leaning in, she pressed her lips to his, mumbling, “I love you.”

  The following Monday, Allie withdrew from USC. By Wednesday, she was packed and ready to make the journey back to Alabama with Braxton. They arranged for her belongings to be shipped to a storage facility until they could find a house. Katrina drove them to the airport. With promises to always keep in touch. They shared a tearful goodbye. Today would be the first day of their new life together. A test of faith, love, and loyalty that neither of them had any intentions of failing.

  ∞ Chapter 19 ∞

  A week after returning to Alabama, they’d found a house. After going through about a dozen different ones, all of which they both agreed had too small of rooms or not enough yard, they found the perfect one.

  A cute, light blue with black shutters, two-bedroom home at the end of a cul-de-sac. The yard wasn’t very big, but it had a privacy fence around the backyard. Two huge trees provided enough shade to cover the entire yard. Braxton had been very animated about where a swing set could go, along with a hammock, and sandbox. He left all the decorating to Allie, she chose what furniture, dishes, and pictures, everything they needed to make this house a home. He’d given her the task of supervising, something she took very seriously. She sat with her feet propped up on the coffee table while directing Braxton on where to place everything.

  Later that night, Braxton made Allie her favorite dinner--tacos. It was nothing spectacular, but to her, it meant the world. Now full and relaxing on the reclining sofa, Braxton turned the sound down on the movie playing on the television.

  “We need to let your parents know before they find out through someone else.”

  Allie’s eyes were wide, “I don’t want to tell them yet.”

  “Babe, they are going to find out that you’re no longer in California. It’s best if they hear it from you.”

  Relief washed over her. “Oh, I thought you meant about the baby. I’m not ready for that conversation. Not yet.”

  “We’ll tell them about the baby when you’re ready. Preferably, before you have him.”

  “Him?” she clapped her hands and bounced in her seat. “I’m so excited for you. When did you find out?”

  “Heaven help me, you’ve turned into Katrina,” he laughed.

  “Would you rather I turned into a pumpkin?”, she asked, puffing out her cheeks and batting her eyelashes.

  “I like pumpkin.” He pounced on her, mindful of the little pooch in her tummy, and pretended to gnaw on her. Her laughter filled the room, which in turn, filled Braxton’s heart more than he ever thought possible. This was home, she was his home. It didn’t matter where, or when, as long as he had her, his life would always be perfect.

  He sat up when she let loudly told him she was about to pee on him. Apparently she wasn’t kidding and she took off jogging to the bathroom. When she returned, she dropped down onto the couch and curled into his side.

  Pretty sure she was stalling, he picked up her phone from the end table and held it out for her.

  “Can’t I wait until tomorrow? I just want to go to bed and have you hold me tonight. I don’t feel like a long conversation, and it’s too late for me to answer a ton of questions.”

  “Tomorrow, then,” he said, setting the phone down.

  Braxton had quickly become used to holding Allie at night. It was blissful and he was intoxicated by her. It was something that would never get old, loving her. He knew she was putting off telling her parents for as long as possible. She was scared of their reaction, although Braxton was sure they would be okay with her choice. They would question her of course, what parent wouldn’t? One thing that they would be happy about, Allie being closer to home and not out in the expanse of the world alone. Amy had told him not too long ago that she was worried about her. She would never try to hold Allie back from her dreams, but secretly, he knew she wanted her baby girl home.

  When the morning light filled the bedroom, Braxton opened his eyes to find Allie sitting up in the bed watching him. He smiled at her, thinking of how even with her hair in disarray, sleepy eyes, and face free of any make-up, she was still a very beautiful woman. She placed her hands on either side of him, her face grew serious as she leaned down to hover over him.

  “Thank you for saving me,” she whispered, lowering her forehead to his, her eyes closing. “I made a lot of wrong turns, got in with a crowd I shouldn’t have been with. I started drinking to fit in. Soon, it became a nightly thing. I started missing classes and fell behind. I was hungover more than I was sober and then that one night I was so messed up I don’t remember anything that happened. You saw the results of that. Thank you for never giving up on me. I never want to go back to the way I was.”
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br />   “You never have to. I’ll never let that happen.”

  Braxton traced his fingers up her arm, bringing them to rest on her neck. He claimed her mouth with every ounce of love, happiness, and gratefulness he felt. His heart loved her unconditionally, his soul was bound to her eternally. Pulling back, he kissed her cheeks, her closed eyes, ending with the tip of her nose. When she opened her eyes, Braxton could see love reflecting in them. For the first time, he knew she truly felt the same. He had finally completely won the girl he’d been chasing and waiting for.

  “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” Rolling to the side of him, her stomach let out a loud grumble. “I need food, and I have a phone call to make.” She made a face, scrunching her nose. Braxton laughed, kissed her once more on the cheek then rolled out of bed.

  Allie pushed her plate aside and leaned back in her chair. She picked at her fingernails, a sign of nervousness. Reaching over, Braxton closed his hand over hers.

  “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”

  “What if I slip up? I don’t want to tell them about the baby yet and definitely not by accident, or over the phone.”

  “You won’t, but if you do, we’ll handle it.”

  “You are always so sure of yourself.”

  “And of you.”

  Nodding, she pushed the chair back scraping it across the floor as she stood. “I should clean this up first,” she said, fanning her hand around at the breakfast mess still on the table and in the kitchen.

  “Stop making excuses. I’ll clean up, you go make your call.”

  Braxton cleaned the kitchen while Allie was in the bedroom on the phone with her parents. It must have been going well since he couldn’t hear any yelling or crying. He tried his best to wait, give her the privacy she deserved, but it was getting harder as the minutes steadily ticked by. He paced the floor, counting his steps just to have something to focus on, then he’d sit for a spell before he became too antsy and had to start pacing again. On about the third time of pacing, Allie returned, her face revealed the confusion she felt. Stopping in front of her, his eyes questioned her.

  “I thought I would be letting them down,” she said, dropping her eyes to the floor before bringing them up to meet his.

  “You could never let them down.”

  “You say that now, remember they still don’t know about the baby or my actions that led me to be here in the first place. I’m pretty positive that won’t make them happy.”

  “We’ll worry about that bridge when we come to it. I still don’t believe they’d feel let down, disappointed maybe, but never let down. Come on,” he said, taking her hand and pulling her along behind him the few feet to the couch. “You want to explain why you look so confused?”

  “Well, when I told my mom I needed to talk to them about something, she put my dad on the phone too. I was scared and so I let it all come out in a rush, starting with how much I missed them and needed to be closer to home and ending with my decision to come back to Alabama. Then I waited for the questions to start, or maybe some yelling about how I’m giving up on my dream, but it never came. They only asked when I was leaving California and if I needed any help with the move.”

  “I told you they wouldn’t be angry,” he said, rubbing his hand down her back.

  “I know, but I’ve shut them out, too,” her mouth turned down, sadness, visible in her eyes. “I know I hurt them, yet they didn’t even seem the least bit upset. I guess I expected more emotion from them, something, anything that confirmed just how much I broke their heart. It was almost as if they knew I had good reason to distance myself from everyone, but they couldn’t have. My mom even seemed okay with me taking a break for a while, even when I couldn’t tell her a definitive date I would start back.”

  She looked out the front window and when she looked back to Braxton, her eyes were bright, all sadness removed, and a small smile played on her lips. “When I told them about us, that’s when the question started. Nothing bad, just the typical how, when, and it’s about time. Apparently, they’ve been waiting on this to happen for as long as we have. As matter of fact, they were ecstatic to have me so close to home, but above that, they were glad that I am with you.”

  He touched the tip of her nose with his finger.

  “I’m glad you’re with me too.”

  ∞ Chapter 20 ∞

  Allie had been back in Alabama for over a month now. She’d found a new doctor. She and Braxton went to her first appointment with Dr. Brimwell together. She was amazed at how enthusiastic and interested Braxton had been, even asking the doctor questions when he didn’t quite understand something. They were now back at the doctor’s office for their second visit. This time, an ultrasound was scheduled and hopefully they could find out the gender of the baby. Braxton sat beside her, knee bouncing with nervousness and excitement. It still amazed her how he could be so happy and so involved with a baby that wasn’t even his. A miracle is what he was, her miracle and her saving grace. Allie’s stomach turned with butterflies in anticipation. When her name was called, they stood as one and followed the nurse to a small room decorated in pale yellows and greens.

  Dr. Brimwell entered the room a short time after with the ultrasound machine in tow, followed by the technician.

  “Good morning,” the doctor started, then asked how she was feeling and if she’d had any problems since she had last seen her. When all the usual questions were done, Dr. Brimwell measured Allie’s belly and scribbled the results in her chart. “Alright then, everything is looking great and right on target. We’ll get this ultrasound done and then you two can get out of here.” Stepping aside, the technician took her place.

  The gel was cold and Allie shivered as it landed in a clump on her tummy. She and Braxton watched the screen intently as a little form appeared. Allie’s heart could have exploded with as much love and tenderness she already felt toward this little being. The quick fluttering sound of her baby’s heartbeat brought her to tears. Looking to Braxton, he was staring at the screen. There in his eyes, she could see the salty water pooling up, ready to spill over. He held them back as he watched. He’d never experienced anything like this. How can something so small bring so much joy and astonishment, it wasn’t a question just a statement, because he already knew the answer.

  “Looks like we have a cooperative one here. Are you sure you want to know the sex?”

  “Yes,” Allie said, and Braxton nodded his agreement.

  “Congratulations, you are having a boy.”

  For the first time, Braxton let the tears spill over while Allie watched, her own tears of joy flowing from her eyes. He looked to her with pure adoration, smiled, and kissed her lightly on the lips.

  “A boy,” he whispered, overcome with happiness.

  Allie smiled, “You were right.”

  The technician printed out several copies of pictures she had taken and handed them to Allie. Allowed to get dressed, she did so and then with smiles as big as their faces would allow, they walked hand in hand out of the doctor’s office. There was a taco place around the corner from the office and Allie wanted that for lunch. Groaning at the thought of tacos again, he went through the drive-thru and ordered enough for lunch and extra for Allie later. That’d had been her craving. Braxton liked them, but not enough to want them every day. Of course, he’d suffer through it for now. After all, he would do anything for her.

  Allie talked non-stop all the way home and through each bite of her tacos about decorations for the baby’s room. Braxton enjoyed seeing her finally excited and carefree. He knew the time was coming they’d have to tell their parents. This would be the hardest, most fearful moment for her so far. Her fourth month of pregnancy had just begun, and there was no longer any way to hide the obvious bump. Now was as good a time as any to bring it up.

  “Spring break is in a few days, so I was thinking maybe we could go home.”

  Allie looked at him as if she’d seen a ghost.

 
“But, they’ll see this,” she said pointing to her stomach.

  “That’s kind of the point. We need to tell them. We can’t wait any longer.”

  Knowing he was right, she straightened her spine, a look of determination on her face.

  “I’ll call them and let them know when we’ll be there.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Three days later they were standing at the door, ready to leave on their way back to Gardendale. Zak and Hannah were going to meet them at Shane and Amy’s house for dinner. Allie was completely terrified, but grateful for Braxton’s presence; she didn’t have to do this alone. He would be there protecting her as he always had.

  “You don’t have to worry, babe. There’s no storm we can’t get through together.”

  Reaching over, he pushed her hair away from her neck and placed a gentle, comforting kiss to the tender skin at the crease of her shoulder.

  “I’m still scared. Worried of what my mom and dad will think of me. I know this will disappoint them. I’ll disappoint them. I don’t think I could stand to see that in their eyes every time they look at me.”

  “They may be disappointed. What parent wouldn’t be, but they would never turn their back on you. Disappointment only lasts but for a brief moment. Love lasts forever.”

  “I don’t even know how to tell them. What do I say? Do I just storm in there and blurt out, ‘hey mom and dad, I got drunk, knocked up, and I don’t even know who the father is’? Welcome to grandparenthood! I’m sure that’s a one-way ticket to a double heart attack.”

  Braxton laughed at her dramatics, and she turned away from him.

  “You don’t tell them anything.”

  Allie quickly spun around to face him again, her hair swinging forcefully behind her. “What do you mean don’t tell them anything? That’s kind of the point of this trip and this dinner, isn’t that what you said? Besides, look at me, how well do think I’ll be able to hide this? I’m pretty sure this isn’t something they won’t notice.”