A Cross to Bear

by Julieanne Lynch

“Then make him dig it. You need to show Jackie boy that you’ve moved on. That you don’t need him, and dare I say it, his wrinkly old cock.” Jet scrunched her nose as the words left her mouth.

  “Well, he’s not—”

  “Whoa, stop right there, sister! I don’t want to know.” She held up her hand to Bree’s face. Bree got the message loud and clear.

  “Okay, I’m taking this and going to study before I talk myself out of going,” Bree said, and left the kitchen.

  “I’ll be around,” Jet shouted. “Just in case you need a little kick up the derrière!”

  “I love you, too!”

  Bree made her way back to her room. Her phone chimed as she stepped inside. She set the cup of coffee down on her desk, grabbed the phone and saw Logan’s name.

  “Hey, you!” she greeted.

  “It’s so good to hear your voice after the day I’ve had,” he responded.

  “That bad?”

  “Training kicked my ass this evening.” He sounded tired.

  “My poor baby, want me to come over?”

  “I wish. I’ve got my first essay that needs to be turned in tomorrow, so I have to get it done,” he said. “I just wanted to hear your voice before I hit the books.”

  “I feel you there. I hate deadlines.”

  “Listen, about this thing tomorrow night, I’m not sure I want to go.”

  Bree had known from the moment she’d invited him that he was going to decline her offer.

  “I know, but it will be really weird if I’m there with Jenny and Tommy, and looking like a spare part,” Bree said, doing her best to convince him otherwise. “Plus, it will score you some major brownie points with Tommy.”

  She could hear the reservation in Logan’s voice. “Will I need to wear a shirt and tie?” he asked.

  Bree fist-pumped the air, knowing she’d done her job. “No, just a nice shirt. No tie needed.”

  “Okay, fine, but I’m doing this for you, no one else.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You can thank me after,” Logan replied, chuckling.

  “Oh, are you sure you won’t be too tired?” Bree was just as good at throwing the odd joke his way.

  “Not when it comes to the magic your mouth can do,” he said, trying not to laugh.

  “Cheeky!” Bree replied.

  “That’s why you love me.”

  Lying down on her bed, Bree’s eyesight blurred. Contentment tugged at her gut. “Yes, I love you.”

  “I love you, too, baby, but I’ve gotta go now. What time do I pick you up?” he asked.

  “About seven-thirty, if that’s okay?”

  “I’ll see you then.”

  “Bye!”

  Now that everything was set in motion, Bree’s mind raced. For a girl who was so used to being in control of her life, she hadn’t truly prepared herself for the possibility of a fallout. Never mind having to stomach seeing Jack and Logan together under the same roof.

  As much as she tried to focus on her studies, there was no denying the dread creeping through her veins. This was the small price she’d pay for climbing between the sheets with the devil.

  “Fuck my life,” she mumbled before making herself comfortable on the bed, conceding to the fact that dinner would ultimately put everything she thought she was to the test.

  * * * *

  “Oh my gosh!” Jenny said, twirling around in her new dress. “I can’t wait to see Daddy.”

  Bree hid her face and rolled her eyes. “I know. You’ve said.”

  “Is it still okay with Logan to drive us?”

  “Yup, he offered.”

  “He’s so cute,” Jenny remarked. “I like how you two look together. So much better than you and Ethan. At least Logan smiles and treats you like a princess.”

  Her assumptions were correct. Bree turned around to face her and smiled.

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Jenny curtsied. Her phone chimed and she picked it up. “Eeek, they’re here. Come on!” She grabbed Bree’s hand, barely giving her friend time to pick up her bag.

  “Hold your horses!”

  Once they made their way outside, Tommy stepped out of the car. He kissed Jenny and smiled at Bree.

  “You both look great!”

  “Why, thank you, baby,” Jenny said, hugging him tightly.

  “Thanks, Tommy.”

  Bree’s voice sounded flat. She hopped into the passenger seat and kissed Logan on the cheek.

  “You look good,” Logan remarked.

  “Thanks,” Bree replied.

  “Is something wrong?” Logan sounded serious.

  “No. I’m just tired,” she lied.

  Before Logan could continue the conversation, Tommy and Jenny slid into the back of the vehicle.

  “Someone’s been a good boy,” Jenny remarked, looking at the interior.

  “Just a little something from my father,” Logan replied.

  “Your father has good taste,” Tommy remarked, obviously liking the car.

  “Thanks.”

  Logan eased out of the parking spot. The journey to The Refectory didn’t take long.

  Bree’s heart raced as Logan pulled up outside the restaurant. Perspiration dotted her palms. She wanted to tell him to take her home, to forget about the stupid meal, but Jenny’s voice pulsed through her head.

  “I can’t wait to see Daddy.”

  Her high-pitched voice reverberated through Bree’s skull. Bree wanted to punch Jenny hard and tell her to shut the fuck up.

  Composing herself, Bree was the last one to get out of the car. Her stomach churned. There was no turning back. Ashamed and embarrassed, Bree dreaded seeing Jack.

  Logan took hold of her hand, lifted it to his mouth and kissed it. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked with concern.

  “Yes,” Bree replied with a nervous smile.

  As they stepped inside, Jenny was greeted by the maître d’, who took her name and escorted the four of them to a table where Jack sat with a smug grin.

  “Daddy!” Jenny squealed, and ran into her father’s arms.

  “Hello, sweetheart.” He greeted her with a kiss and a warm hug. “Don’t you look beautiful,” he remarked, gazing at his pretty daughter.

  “Jack.” Tommy shook his hand. “Good to see you, sir.”

  “You’re looking good, Thomas.”

  Jack eyed Bree, who despised the awkwardness between them. “Bree,” he said. “It’s always a pleasure. And this must be the young man who’s captured your heart.” He greeted Logan with a handshake.

  “Nice to meet you, sir,” Logan replied.

  “Jack will do just fine, son.”

  Bree wanted to grab the knife from the table and stick it in Jack’s throat. That at least would have proven a point or two.

  The waiter approached once the group sat down. He offered them all a complimentary glass of non-alcoholic wine.

  Tommy grinned as if to say, “Where’s the booze?” but he had manners and wouldn’t dare let Jenny down.

  Logan reciprocated the gesture and sipped at the contents.

  Jack shrouded Jenny with so much attention that it made Bree’s skin crawl.

  “Your mother is sad that she couldn’t be here, but New York beckoned,” Jack said, touching the back of Jenny’s hand.

  “It’s okay, Daddy,” she replied. “I know what Mom is like when she’s in the zone.” They laughed at Jenny’s lame joke, a reference to Molly’s shopping spree.

  Every so often, Jack glanced at Bree, his eyes shining whenever he stared at the hint of cleavage that was on show.

  Jet had recommended she use her feminine wiles to make a statement. Although Bree wasn’t afraid to use her ample cleavage to her advantage, right then and there, she hated giving Jack one eyeful too many.

  “I hear you’re on the team with Thomas,” Jack said, turning his attention to Logan.

  “Yes, that’s right.” Logan shifted awkwardly.

  “I
also hear you’ve pledged for Gamma Alpha Pi.”

  “Again, that is correct.”

  “Bree seems to have done well,” Jack remarked, glaring at Bree.

  “I believe so.” Logan rested his hand on Bree’s.

  “So, how’s school, Bree? Keeping out of trouble?”

  “It’s great, thanks, especially now that I have Logan in my life. But I’m not sure what you mean about trouble, because let’s face it, I’m not the one who was busy screwing around behind anyone’s back. Besides, I think I’m owed a little happiness, don’t you think?” Bree knew her aloof manner hadn’t gone unnoticed.

  “Bree, Daddy is only being polite,” Jenny said.

  Bree raised a brow at Jenny before taking a sip of her water. She smirked, knowing Jack would be getting the same message as Jenny.

  “I know,” Bree said, looking at Jenny, then at Jack. “I’m just sick of people making assumptions about my goddamn behavior.”

  “Just calm down. No one is judging you,” Jenny said, not once looking away from Bree.

  The waiter came along and took their order.

  Bree didn’t have much of an appetite. In fact, food was the last thing on her mind.

  “Your mother and I were discussing the holidays.” Jack gave Jenny his undivided attention. “I think it’s high time Thomas and his family join us for the festivities.”

  Bree sat there, listening to the way Jack talked to Jenny, even the way he addressed Tommy so formally. Bree saw the kind of man Jack was for the first time. A jackass would have had more class. It had only taken half her life and a summer of fucking to realize what an arrogant bastard he really was.

  She relaxed a little. Logan was being attentive, making sure she was fine, which added to her sudden influx of confidence.

  “Jenny told me you’d treat us all to some real booze. So how about it, Jack? Why not go all out for us?” Bree said, tilting her head to the side, waiting for Jack’s response.

  Jenny kicked Bree’s foot under the table, giving her a look that told her to calm down.

  She had no intention of doing what any of them wanted.

  “I’m afraid that won’t happen,” Jack replied. “Surely you understand that, Bree?”

  Bree glared at Jack. She was pissed. How could he sit there and treat her like a child, considering how he’d fucked her? “Then I guess this is just one big let-down, Jack,” Bree remarked, staring at Jack. “I was under the impression you were a worldly man?”

  Jack raised his eyebrows and nodded his head. “Indeed, but given your age, it wouldn’t be my best move. Or would you prefer to cause a scene, Bree?”

  “I guess a screw-you is in order.”

  Jack was served wine, along with hors d’oeuvres for the table. Everyone else settled for water. Bree picked at her slow-braised rabbit feuilleté.

  Everyone else ate and seemed to enjoy their food.

  Bree moved her food around on her plate, hardly touching anything. She frowned, listening to the happy conversations between Jenny and Jack. She couldn’t help herself. She really wanted to hurt Jack, regardless of what everyone thought. “Does Molly ever worry about how much time you spend away from home? Or do the two of you have some kind of arrangement?” Bree asked.

  Jenny stopped eating and looked at Bree with horror. “Oh my God, Bree, what’s gotten into you?”

  “It’s okay, sweetheart. I think Bree is just a little tired,” Jack said, tapping Jenny on her hand.

  “No, Daddy, it’s not all right. Apologize right now, Bree,” Jenny insisted.

  Bree burst into laughter.

  “Maybe we should step out for some air?” Logan suggested, holding on to her arm.

  “No,” Bree said in a loud tone. “I’m fine. Just stay and eat. I am sure I can find the little girl’s room all by myself.”

  Bree got up and strolled off to the bathroom, not seeing Jet appear from the side.

  “Well, I guess you’ve made your point,” Jet whispered, poking Bree in the forehead. “Way off course, idiot.”

  “Well…what can I say? I’m the original fuck-up,” Bree said, and giggled. “You should see Jack’s face.”

  “I have, and from where I’m sitting, he’s winning.” Jet was cold and to the point.

  “Whatever!” Bree was loud and obnoxious. “I’m going to take a piss, then get the hell out of here.”

  Pushing past Jet, Bree slipped into the bathroom. The effects of her terrible mood threatened to overcome her, and she didn’t see Jet follow her inside.

  Jet closed the door of the next cubicle and waited for Bree to finish. The door to the bathroom opened as Bree stepped out of the cubicle. Her eyes widened as Jack strode inside.

  “Quite the show you’re putting on out there,” he remarked, and licked his lips. “Poor Jenny is very upset with you.”

  “Fuck off, Jack. Just leave me alone.” Bree washed her hands.

  “Is that what you really want, Bree?” he asked. “I’m not convinced you know what you want.”

  “Jack, you may think you have some kind of hold over me, but hear this, loud and clear, you and I—this,” Bree said, pointing at him and her. “It’s over. It ends now.”

  “I’m not sure you’ve thought this through,” he said.

  “I don’t care. Don’t you get it?” Bree’s voice rose several octaves.

  “Bree, you need to calm down,” Jack said, and approached her.

  “Don’t tell me what to do. Who gave you any authority over me?” Anger swirled around inside her, making her dizzier by the second. She hated the emotions roiling inside her. She despised him and never regretted being with him more than she did then and there. “I told you to leave me alone, but you kept pushing. Continuously insisting on being with me, and never actually listening to me. You hunted me like I was a piece of meat. I’ve never hated anyone more than I hate you right now.”

  Jack frowned. “Stop behaving like a spoiled child. You knew exactly what you were doing the moment we started this. And if my mind serves me right, you didn’t exactly protest.”

  Jet opened the cubicle door and stepped over beside Bree. “I don’t think you’re hearing Bree, Jack.” She said his name with so much hate that a knife could have sliced through the atmosphere.

  “Ah, I see you’ve enlisted some allies,” he remarked, and nodded.

  “I told you it’s over, Jack, and you’d better respect my decision,” Bree said, pushing past him to open the door.

  Outside, Logan was waiting for Bree. The look of concern on his face tore at her heart. He reached out to take Bree’s hand.

  Jack strode out of the bathroom with a sly grin on his face. Jet slipped out behind them, her presence unnoticed.

  “What’s going on?” Logan asked, confusion spreading across his face.

  “Nothing,” Bree said, panic setting in.

  “No, something’s going on here. I’m not stupid.” Logan crossed his arms over his chest and refused to move.

  “Please, Logan, just take me home.” Bree’s pleading eyes met his.

  “Do as your girlfriend says,” Jack said.

  “Bree?” Logan said her name as though it hurt him even to say it.

  A lump formed at the back of her throat. Her anguished moments rose to the surface. Not wanting to spend another second standing there, she ran out of the restaurant. Once outside, she strode down the sidewalk, unsure of where she was going. She had to get away from there as fast as possible.

  “Bree!” Logan shouted. Running up behind her, he reached out for her, grabbing her arm. “Bree! Just stop, please.”

  Bree spun around. She could feel her tears trail down her cheeks. “I told you I’m a bad person. I warned you the first night I met you. You made me fall in love with you. How could you?” she screamed.

  “Bree, you need to calm down,” Logan said.

  “No! You’ve no idea what kind of person I am,” she cried. “I’m the worst kind.”

  Jenny and Tommy soon appeared. Her
best friend’s eyes blazed with fury. She didn’t understand what was happening. “Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?” she shouted.

  “Jenny,” Tommy said, trying to hold her back.

  “No, let me go, Tommy. I’m not stupid. Something is going on here.” Jenny’s voice grew louder.

  “Jenny, stop!” Tommy said, holding her in his arms.

  “Bree, if this is what I think it is, you’ll regret it! You know there are some indiscretions that can’t be ignored.” Jenny’s eyes filled with tears.

  Bree reached out for Logan’s arm. The ache in her chest made her feel as if she was about to pass out. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  “Bree, you’re scaring me,” Logan said.

  Bree looked at Jenny. Her eyes burned, the tears flowing like an endless storm. “I’m sorry.” She shook her head before turning her back on them all.

  Logan touched her shoulder. “Come on,” he said, wrapping his arm around her. “I’m taking you home.”

  Logan stared at Tommy. Tommy nodded, and Bree knew that he and Jenny would make their own way back to campus. Tommy took hold of Jenny, trying to calm her down.

  Logan opened the car door and helped Bree inside.

  Bree’s mouth was dry. The realization that her world was about to change was a sobering moment and one she hated herself for. She’d envisioned ending things with Jack in her mind for so long, but nothing had prepared her for the aftermath. Sometimes, her own regret destroyed more than she bargained for.

  Chapter Nineteen

  As I played everything over and over in my head, there was no changing the fact that Bree was hiding so much from me. I sat on the floor of my room, too disappointed to not only acknowledge her pain, but accept it.

  Spence had known something was wrong the moment we came back and he’d immediately left. He said he would crash at Drake’s. I couldn’t have thanked him enough.

  Bree sat on my bed, sobbing. Every morsel in my body wanted to console her, but my head overruled every beat of my heart.

  “Were you sleeping with him?” I asked in a flat tone.

  “Yes.” Her voice was soft and full of sorrow.

  To hear her admit to the affair was like sticking a knife into my own heart.

  “Did you love him?” My voice sounded as if it was about to break.