Family Secrets

by Michaels, Leigh

  “Leave the inn, you mean?”

  “Leave Springhill.” She hadn’t consciously thought about it before, but the words, once spoken, seemed to have a life of their own. “Maybe it’s past time. I only came back here because my father was ill – and I did that grudgingly. I’m not sorry, of course, because we settled our differences before he died.”

  “You mean he actually apologized?”

  “In his own way. He was unenlightened and painfully conservative and old-fashioned, but he wasn’t deliberately cruel.” She swallowed hard. It had not been easy to put those ghosts to rest. “And I’m glad I stayed. At least I was here to get to know Nicky.”

  And Chase, of course – though she couldn’t bring herself to say his name. It was one thing for Stephanie to know about Nicky; it would be something else altogether to bare her heart and expose the hopeless, helpless love she felt for Chase.

  Nevertheless, she was glad to have had him in her life for this short while – even though at the moment her heart felt as if it had been assaulted with a dull dental drill. The hurt would ease with time; she of all people knew that. And after a while, when the worst of the pain was past, she would treasure the memories of that single night with him – one brief night in which she had been certain that she mattered, that he truly cared just a little for her...

  Jordan Kendall had been so quiet that Amanda had almost forgotten he was there. “If you decide to make a change,” he said, “let me know. I could use you myself in personnel. Or if you really want to leave Springhill, I’ve got a lot of contacts, and someone’s sure to need a businesswoman with lots of experience in managing people.”

  Amanda nodded. “Thanks, Jordan.” She felt better just to know that there would always be possibilities.

  But she didn’t have to do anything just yet. She couldn’t simply walk out, anyway; she owed it to the absentee owners of the inn to give them proper notice. She’d have to stay until the rush was over, until the movie was finished...

  Until Chase and Nicky were gone.

  *****

  Though Amanda saw Chase occasionally over the next four days, she didn’t come face to face with him. In the limited space of the inn, with all traffic intersecting in the lobby, that wasn’t easy to do – which simply meant that he was being as careful to avoid her as she was to stay out of his way. That, of course, was no surprise at all.

  She caught only glimpses of Nicky – mostly from her sitting room window in the early mornings, as he left the inn with his father on the way to day care. She told herself that she shouldn’t watch for him, but she couldn’t seem to help herself; she started to take her coffee onto the tiny terrace every morning, sitting there till she had seen them safely on their way. Sometimes, when she missed them, the dregs in the bottom of her cup were cold and bitter before she gave up the wait.

  She had a good excuse for her vigil, of course – she was watching solely to avoid the consequences of running headlong into Nicky some morning in the lobby. It would be better for all of them to avoid that kind of embarrassment, and so she waited till she was certain he was safely out of the way before she left her apartment.

  The truth was she didn’t want to think about how she would feel if she bumped into Nicky and he didn’t seem to care.

  She thought he looked tired and cranky as he dawdled along beside Chase, dragging his stuffed rabbit by the ear. Not that she could really tell, from such a distance and from that angle; all she really could see was the way his head drooped sometimes. Of course, there were many explanations for that – all of which her imagination insisted on embroidering.

  And, of course, there were the tantrums.

  Amanda didn’t hear Nicky’s tantrums first hand, but she heard all about them – from chambermaids, from John the bellman, even from Katie Kendall, who gave her an account in minute detail of how Nicky had screamed one entire afternoon at day care, until he made himself too hoarse to yell any more and finally slept from sheer exhaustion.

  Amanda told herself that she had no reason to feel guilty for his behavior, no matter how terrible it was. She had not provoked this protest; she had not led Nicky to believe he might have her always. Indeed, to be brutally honest, she had no reason to think his bad temper had anything at all to do with her; it was no worse than what he had done before she ever got involved.

  But she quickly learned that guilt didn’t have to be logical, and every time she heard another tale, one more tiny piece of her heart was carved away. If only she hadn’t made things worse...

  She ought to have had no trouble keeping her mind occupied, for she had plenty of work to do. The unseasonably cool summer had given way to an old-fashioned Iowa heat wave, and the inn’s air conditioning was working at capacity and barely keeping pace. The heat and humidity told on personal relationships as well as on mechanical systems. The guests bickered at the chambermaids and each other, and Jessamyn Arden growled at everybody.

  “She told me yesterday that she considered going to work a blessing compared to staying upstairs in her private sauna,” Tricia told Amanda one morning, and pushed a stack of mail across the registration desk. “You know that sweet way she has of sticking a knife in and then twisting it?” She gave Amanda a sidelong glance. “She also implied that she was seeing a great deal of Chase off the set as well as on.”

  Amanda wasn’t listening. She was staring at the top envelope on the pile – a pristine white linen, expensively engraved with a return address in a businesslike block-style type. Baxter and Bain, Attorneys at Law...

  It was like a voice from the grave. It was well over a year since she had attended Luther Bain’s funeral, but of course his firm was still in existence. That was where Chase would have gone with any unfinished business about Nicky’s adoption – back to the firm which had arranged it. If he wanted to ask questions, or issue warnings, or make threats, he would have contacted Tom Baxter, the remaining partner.

  Her hands trembled as she picked up the stack of mail and carried it into her office.

  She wasn’t exactly surprised, though she wouldn’t have expected Chase to do anything so clumsy as putting warnings or threats in writing. Of course, he could simply be preempting any move she might be considering, by making certain she understood how little right she had to interfere in Nicky’s life. But he’d made himself perfectly clear in person...

  She slit the envelope and unfolded a polite note from Tom Baxter asking if the inn’s facilities would be available on the first weekend in October for a local bar association meeting.

  She had worked herself to such a pitch that she stared at the letter for a couple of minutes before she tossed it onto the desk blotter and put her head down in her hands. What an idiot she was, anyway! After that jibe about selling her story, why on earth would Chase give her anything else to sell?

  *****

  The heat was getting on everyone’s nerves. Even in the coffee shop, it had its effect; every time the street door opened, a wave of blistering hot air rolled in. Kathy’s smile had lost some of its eagerness and her uniform much of its starch, and Amanda’s coffee wasn’t waiting for her as usual when she took her late-afternoon break.

  “I knew we should have put in the deluxe cooling system,” Amanda muttered as she took a stool at the counter.

  “On days like this, nothing makes much difference.”

  A few minutes later the door from the lobby opened again, and Amanda groaned as she saw who was standing there. Joe Smith smiled a little and put his hands in his pockets as he crossed the restaurant. “May I?” he asked, and didn’t wait for an answer before he took the stool beside hers. “I’ve been trying to catch you for several days, Miss Bailey.”

  “Well, obviously you haven’t found the right bait yet,” Amanda said coolly. She picked up her coffee mug. “Talk to you later, Kathy.”

  “Want me to sweep him out of here?” Kathy asked.

  “Wait a minute,” Joe Smith said. “You can’t evict me. I’m wearing shoes and a s
hirt, I’ve got money, and I’d order something if there was a decent waitress in the place.” He gave Kathy a toothy smile. “Lemonade and a piece of rhubarb pie.”

  “Rhubarb?” Kathy sniffed. “Where’d you acquire a taste for that?”

  “I always make it a point to sample the native delicacies wherever I go. Such as they are.” He turned to Amanda. “You might be interested to know that I’ve talked to Chase Worthington’s ex-nanny.”

  “Oh? Which one?” Then she bit her tongue. There was no need to give him any information.

  “The last one, naturally. She’s by far the most interesting, too.” He cut the tip off the wedge of pie Kathy had set before him and impaled it on his fork. “Also, I heard a very interesting speculation the other day.”

  “I’m sure you hear a lot of rumors. It doesn’t make them reliable.”

  “Very true. But the speculations I hear aren’t usually quite this interesting.”

  “Thanks for the tip. I’ll keep an eye out for your paper next week. If a copy turns up in the garbage bin, I can read all about it.”

  He smiled sweetly. “The nanny says we were right four years ago about the little boy being adopted.”

  Amanda settled back on her stool again. The story of the chosen child, she thought. Of course, Nicky’s nanny would have heard all about it. And it was equally certain that once the woman had been dismissed she would have told everything she knew, for a price.

  Joe Smith looked satisfied. “I thought that would get your attention.”

  Amanda shrugged. “That’s old news.”

  “Ah, but there’s a twist which brings it right up to date. If he was a love child, and not Desiree’s after all, then who was his mother?”

  “Why ask me?”

  “Because I think you might know, Miss Bailey.”

  Amanda tried to pretend that cold shivers weren’t playing tag up and down her spine. “Sorry. I can’t help you.”

  “That’s where the interesting speculation comes in – about how attached you and the little boy are to each other, and how cozy you are with his daddy. And just how long it’s been going on. A few weeks? Or maybe a few years?”

  “If you’re threatening to publish a story about Nicky and Chase and me –”

  “Just one happy little family.”

  “It’s not true.” At any rate, not all of his implications were true, she thought. And even if what she said was on the margins of telling a lie, at least she had good reason.

  “It’s still a good story,” Joe Smith said pensively. “We could put together a photograph of you and the boy and airbrush it till it would make you believe he’s really your kid.”

  Amanda’s smile held a trace of real amusement. “What talent!”

  There was a thoughtful pause. “Of course, I’d be willing to keep that one to myself.”

  “For a price, I’m sure?”

  “Oh, not money. You could tell me what really happened instead.”

  Amanda’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “You’d be interested in the truth? Now that’s incredible news.”

  “Who was it, Miss Bailey? You can trust me.”

  The desk clerk came in. “Amanda, the elevator’s stuck on three, and John’s inside it.”

  Amanda didn’t bother to excuse herself. She also didn’t bother to scan the lobby before she dashed across it toward the grand staircase, and so for once she didn’t see Chase in time to turn her back and escape into her office. In fact, she almost ran straight into him.

  He let go of Nicky’s hand in order to steady her. He had just come in from outside, and he was still wearing sunglasses, so she couldn’t see the expression in his eyes. The set of his mouth, however, made it clear enough that he wasn’t precisely tickled to see her.

  At least, she thought, he hadn’t spotted her with Joe Smith. Seeing her talking to the reporter would have really been the last straw.

  “Sorry,” she said breathlessly. “I didn’t mean to bowl you over. The elevator’s stuck.”

  “Mandy!” Nicky’s voice was almost a wail, and he flung himself against her, his arms clutching her waist, his head buried so tightly against her diaphragm that she couldn’t draw a full breath. “I missed you!”

  Despite her best intentions, her fingers smoothed his hair. In just these few days it had already started to grow back; even the bare spot Zack had created behind his left ear was decently covered now. “I missed you, too, Nicky.”

  He raised his head and looked up at her, his big hazel eyes tear-drenched. “Daddy says you’re too busy to have time for me.”

  She was furious – and yet what other story could Chase have concocted? None which would have made things any easier. None which could have been explained to a four-year-old. And at least the story he had chosen had the veneer of truth.

  “Oh, my darling,” she said helplessly.

  Chase put both hands on Nicky’s shoulders. His fingertips brushed Amanda’s waist, and she shivered just a little at the contact. “Come along, Nicky. Amanda has to take care of the elevator.”

  She’d forgotten for a moment that the bellman was stranded.

  Nicky sobbed once more, but he allowed himself to be peeled away. With his warmth gone, icy cold settled into Amanda’s bones.

  “I don’t know how long it will be before it’s back in service,” she apologized. “And I’m afraid the freight elevator isn’t available at the moment either. John’s the one who usually runs it, and since he’s stuck –”

  Chase didn’t bother to answer. He led Nicky toward the grand staircase and paused at the bottom, looking up with a sigh. Amanda didn’t blame him; six flights was a long way, and he’d probably end up carrying Nicky.

  Amanda went to her office to telephone the repairman. When she came out, Joe Smith was leaning on the reception desk, chewing on a toothpick.

  No doubt he’d seen the whole episode in the lobby, she thought. Why on earth had she thought putting glass walls in the coffee shop was such a brilliant idea?

  “My editor would happily pay for that story,” he said.

  “He couldn’t afford it,” Amanda snapped. She headed for the service stairs and took the first two flights at a run. By the time she got to the third floor, the inn’s handyman had the foyer doors unlocked and the shaft exposed to show the bottom third of the elevator car. But John was still inside, and the doors of the car itself stubbornly refused to move.

  The fireproof doors to the stairwell were propped open, and she heard Nicky before she saw him. “I don’t want to play that I’m climbing a mountain,” he complained.

  “Then we’ll pretend we’re rockets shooting off toward the stars,” Chase said.

  “Rockets don’t get tired, Daddy.”

  “I wouldn’t bet on it.”

  Nicky spotted Amanda and his fatigue seemed to vanish as he ran toward her. “I don’t want to walk, Daddy. Why can’t I just go to Mandy’s instead?”

  “Because Mandy’s here, and she’s too busy to look after you.”

  Nicky started to look sulky.

  Chase waved a hand at the bustle around the elevator door. “How long is this likely to continue?”

  “I don’t know,” Amanda admitted. “The repairman’s on his way, but he’ll be a couple of hours getting here. So unless we can get it running ourselves –”

  “A couple of hours? I thought you worked miracles with repairmen.”

  “That is a miracle, Chase. Springhill doesn’t have enough elevators to keep a repairman occupied – or hadn’t that occurred to you? Sometimes when it isn’t an urgent matter, it’s days before he gets here.”

  “Oh, that gives me great confidence,” Chase drawled. “Break’s over, Nicky. Let’s go.”

  “I don’t want to go,” Nicky protested. But their footsteps retreated up the stairs, and Amanda pressed her hands against her temples and tried to reason herself back to some sort of calmness. The sarcasm in Chase’s voice had torn at her just as sharply as if it had been a personal
attack – and perhaps, even if he hadn’t realized it himself, that was exactly what it had been. She didn’t blame him, exactly – his life must have looked very simple, before he came back to Springhill.

  It was almost an hour before they managed to force the doors open enough to let John slide out of the car and down to the foyer, and once he’d had a drink of water and a few deep breaths, Amanda said, “I hate to ask you to do this, John. But the only way to get people up and down is the freight elevator, and since it’s not exactly self-service –”

  John, who hadn’t gotten his normal color back, turned yet another shade paler at the idea of getting straight into another elevator. “All right,” he said gamely. “Just let me sit still a minute first.”