“Sure.” I found it interesting that there would be some kind of rager on a Sunday night, but it was summer, and most college kids didn’t have to get up early for work the next day. I figured they probably wouldn’t keep me out too late. “I’ll see you then.” We hung up and I went straight for the shower. I had a list of things to do, and there was no time like the present to get started.
After a nice, hot shower I stripped my bed and loaded everything into the laundry basket. I braided my wet hair and threw on my favorite pair of jean shorts, faded and frayed at the hem, and my last clean tank top. With my basket under my arm and against my hip, I made my way to a quiet, empty laundry room. I could commandeer most of the machines and finish quickly. I filled one machine with whites, another with darks, and the third with sheets and towels. With the push of a button all three began to fill, and I leaned back against the built-in table, taking a book from the bottom of my basket. I resumed my usual laundry position, cross-legged on the counter. I was barely two pages in when I heard the door open.
“Hey Emily, I thought I might find you here.” Kyle kicked the door shut with his foot.
“Oh, yeah. I really was down to my last pair of socks.”
Kyle began to unload detergent and sort laundry next to me. I slid over to give him more room. “You’re fine. No need to move,” he said. “So how was your, um, event last night? Where was it again?”
I didn’t remember telling him the details, but whatever. “It was at the Pacific Center for the Arts,” I explained. “A benefit for cerebral palsy.”
“Wow, that’s cool,” he said as he shook out one of his tee shirts before placing it in the machine. “So did you have a nice time?”
I thought to myself for a second looking down at my hands as they toyed with the frayed edges of my shorts. “Yeah, I did.” And I smiled. A relaxed and genuine smile remembering my evening.
“You know…Emily?”
“Huh, oh sorry.” I said embarrassed I wasn’t paying attention.
“I was thinking maybe we should do something sometime. You know, other than laundry.” Was he asking me out? I had a flash of I don’t know, but then decided why not?
“Sure, OK.”
We didn’t make plans, but instead resumed a relaxing, easy conversation that I wouldn’t have thought possible for two people who barely knew each other. It was natural with him, and really nice.
After I put away the laundry, I ironed everything that needed it, then cleaned my little apartment from top to bottom; which didn’t take long. I loved that about having a small place. Getting ready for a beach party was pretty simple. I washed up, then let my hair out of my braids, leaving it wavy. I put on probably way too much sunscreen for an evening party, my bathing suit, and a sundress over the top. I never wore much makeup anyway, and it seemed ridiculous to put much on for an evening at the beach. By the time Ethan and Allison picked me up, I’d finished a very productive day.
My brother let himself in using the key I gave Allison. I had to smile when I saw them come through the door together. It was the first time I‘d seen Ethan in more than a month. I couldn’t believe how tan he was. I felt a sudden urge to lecture him about wearing sunscreen, but I refrained. Then I noticed something else. It was the first time I’d seen him and Allison together as a couple, and they appeared to really suit each other. I watched his face light up as Allison talked, and it made me happy to see how crazy he was about her. She deserved that kind of attention, and frankly, so did he.
“What, Em?” Ethan caught me staring.
“Oh, nothing. You two ready?” I asked, looking from Ethan to Allison then back to Ethan.
“Yeah.” He turned toward the door and placed his hand on the small of Allison’s back, guiding her in front of him. Just the sight of such an intimate touch made my heart hurt a little. I closed my eyes and centered myself, trying to shake momentary thoughts of Graham and his touch. Ethan turned back to me and cleared his throat, lifting me out of my little setback.
“I’m coming,” I said. He turned back to Allison, and we filed out. I dipped into the back seat feeling even more like a third wheel. I sighed to myself when I saw Ethan rest his hand on Allison’s knee. This was going to be a long night if I was going to feel this lurch in my stomach every time I witnessed an act of affection. I made a mental note to get over it, and jumped into their conversation, which took an immediate turn.
“So when were you planning to tell me that you’re dating someone at your office?” Ethan asked unexpectedly.
“What? Where did you hear that?” I was perplexed to say the least. Then Allison turned around and faced me.
“Come on Emily, it’s not like I had to make a huge leap.”
Damn! I was cornered. “I’m not dating anyone. No one at my office, or anywhere else for that matter.”
Allison smiled at me. A mischievous smile: this conversation wasn’t over yet. “Then who did you have fun with at the benefit the other night? And don’t say just a bunch of friends. I know you, Emily.” Allison had me there.
I paused and looked down at my hands for a second. “I don’t think there’s anything to tell you, guys. I made a friend, but that’s as far as it’s gone. Really.” Allison turned around to face forward and Ethan gave me a smug look in the rearview mirror.
“A friend, huh?
“Yeah, really.” They were content with my answer for the time being, anyway.
When we got there the sun had set and the sky was fading from orange to purple where it was darkest. I decided I didn’t need to bring anything with me, and pushed my purse under the passenger’s seat. I watched Ethan help Allison out of the car, draping his arm around her as I struggled out of the back seat with no help. How do you like that? I thought to myself. I shut the door, and moved behind them as we walked to the beach. The breeze was starting to kick up. I rubbed my hands along my upper arms and regretted not bringing a sweater.
I slipped off my sandals and trudged along, sinking into the still mildly warm sand with every step. I heard a low rumble of voices blend with rolling waves before I could actually see the bonfire. When it came into view, I sighed again. But this time, at the scene. There was a car pulled onto the sand with all the windows down giving a gift of music. I say “gift” generously. The music was loud, and with every boom the tiny car vibrated. The bonfire blazed in a concrete pit, and groups of guys in tee shirts and shorts and girls in ‘way too revealing’ sundresses surrounded it. It crackled and shot tiny sparks into the darkening sky above. I looked at each of the faces glowing orange from the light of the fire. I didn’t recognize anyone and felt my shoulders slump with disappointment. I rubbed my eyes, irritated from the smoke as it drifted my way. It passed by me as quickly as it came and I could see again. A girl let out a high pitched squeak when a guy dropped an ice cube down her back. She hopped and reached to fish it out, laughing and cursing at him the whole time. Back to her group of girls she went. Then I noticed something notable. In each person’s hand was a signature red cup, indicating there must be a keg somewhere, and that little observation perked me right up.
Just as I was resigned to be a third wheel, I saw him. He looked over his shoulder and in mid-conversation lifted his head in my direction with a broad smile. I smiled back, a confident smile. He looked back toward the guy he was talking to, ended his conversation and walked over.
“Hi,” he said. I noticed Allison and Ethan were both missing. Looks like it took them no time at all to bail on me.
“Hi Joel, I didn’t know you’d be here. How are you?”
“Good.” He paused. “Yeah good. Who are you here…? Oh, you came with Ethan.” He answered his own question.
“Yeah, but it looks like he ditched me already.” I half-sighed. Joel just smiled; moving closer to me in what I guessed was his way of hearing me better.
“Want a beer?” He lifted his red cup in the direction of the bonfire.
“Sure, I’m not driving.” Then off he went, leaving m
e there again standing alone on a beach full of strangers. I know how that sounds. How can you be alone surrounded by people, but somehow I felt that way. I looked around for a few seconds, still recognizing no one, then felt content to draw a figure-eight with my toes in the sand.
“Here ya go,” he said in his deep Louisiana voice as he handed me a red cup of foamy beer. “What’s that? Sand art?” His eyes at my feet. I took a sip of beer feeling a little embarrassed and trying not to answer. “I want to show you somethin’. You game?” he asked, nodding in the direction of the pier.
“Sure.” I looked over my cup at him, curious about what it could be. He picked up my sandals for me with two fingers. With one stride he was beside me and we walked along following a now dark purple sky at the water’s edge. The waves were quiet, spilling onto the sand instead of crashing. The water was dark, and as we walked under the pier everything grew darker. Usually the darkness would’ve scared me a little, but I felt safe around Joel. I don’t know why. I didn’t know him that well, but I wasn’t scared. Then I heard the strangest sound. Like sloshing but with little flurries of splashes. We got closer to the water and Joel reached forward pointing to a pillar where it met the water.
“Look there. See?” he looked down his arm. I couldn’t see a thing, so I moved until my head was practically resting on his arm and looked where he was pointing. Then I saw it. The water wasn’t splashing up on the pillar; it was hundreds of tiny little fish. It was so dark you could barely see them, but sure enough, they were everywhere on the surface.
“What are they? What are they doing?” I asked in a whisper, enthralled by what I saw.
“No idea,” he whispered back still standing with his arm out and my head hovering above it. “But I come watch em’ this time of year.”
“It’s mesmerizing,” I said moving even closer to him so he could hear me.
“Yeah,” he agreed. We watched those fish for I don’t know how long. Then from the fatigue of holding it up, I’m sure, he dropped his arm, shaking me out of my trance. The fish continued their jumping routine, not at all disturbed by us.
“Cool, huh?” Joel asked turning to look at me.
“Uh huh.” I pulled back and looked up at him thinking, how cool indeed.
“It’s pretty chilly. Ya cold? Want to head back?” He asked looking around under the pier.
“I guess, sure.” We turned back toward the party. I paused for a second watching the sparks fly off the bonfire and listening to the girls’ laughing shrieks. “Actually, how would you feel about staying down here?” I asked. It wasn’t a romantic move on my part, just a desire to stay away from the party hysteria. I was so calmed by the fish that I really didn’t feel the party bug anymore.
Joel seemed happy to stay by the water. As we sat down, I briefly crossed my arms and gave them a warming rub. I wasn’t really cold but the breeze was starting to pick up and little goose bumps appeared on my upper arms. Without saying a word, he unzipped his sweatshirt and draped it over my shoulders. We sat there, me hugging my knees to my chest, and he with his arms behind him and legs out straight, feet in the sand.
I hadn’t spent much time with Joel. There’d been the relatively uncomfortable dinner when I introduced Graham to my mom. Joel was there with my brother, and although there were moments when I could have strangled my brother for making embarrassing comments, Joel never jumped on that bandwagon. As we talked, I thought back to that day as well as the day I ran into him at the library and he asked me if I wanted to partner-run with him. I remembered how Graham put the kibosh on that. And how I let him. Joel had been nothing but nice to me, and I only pushed him away. It seemed ridiculous now. There was nothing sinister about him; he was genuine and I had been stupid. I couldn’t believe how I had moved away from everything that was good for me and toward someone who obviously wasn’t. I was really disappointed in myself, which confirmed that I needed to concentrate on making better decisions from now on. I managed this inner dialog during quite a nice conversation with Joel.
I learned that he came from a big family in Louisiana, loved to cook, and turned down a football scholarship to LSU for an academic one at CWU. Why I was surprised, I don’t know, but I was. I guess maybe because he seemed so different from Ethan. But Ethan was a genuine person and I could see Joel was too.
“You know I really miss home,” he said. “In Louisiana there’s history. Everything here is brand spankin’ new.”
“Yeah, I noticed that too. And I’m from California.” He looked at me then, a long look. And I noticed something I hadn’t before. He was soulful. The way he talked and the meaning behind each sentence. We heard something behind us at the same time and turned to see two figures approaching.
“There you are, Emily.” Allison said. Not alarmed or worried, but playful.
“Have you two been down here the whole time? I was a little concerned, Emily.” Ethan, never really taking a night off from being my protective brother.
“Sorry, I should’ve brought her back. We just…well we got to talkin’.” Joel looked directly at my brother.
“No problem dude, I’m glad she was with you. Too many guys around here, you know?”
“Um, hello? I’m right here. I can take care of myself.” I looked from Ethan to Joel, touched by their protectiveness even though it was a little annoying.
“Are you two ready to go?” I asked Allison.
“Yeah, you ready, Sis?” Of course Ethan had to answer. I nodded and turned to Joel to say good night.
“You heading out too, Joel?” Ethan beat me to it.
“Yeah.” Joel handed me my shoes and got up dusting off the back of his shorts. He gave me his hand to help me up and I think I saw a tiny smile from Ethan. I dusted off my dress, and fell in line behind Ethan and Allison. As we walked, Joel and I exchanged several silly little smiles, trying to conceal them from Ethan. I don’t know if we were successful, but it was fun.
When we reached the cars, I remembered I was wearing Joel’s sweatshirt and reached to pull it off.
“Thank you. I hope you weren’t too cold,” I said.
“Not at all, Em’ly.” He took a step back and directed his attention to all of us. “Y’all have a nice night.”
“You too. Good night.” I said as I dipped behind the seat into the back of my brother’s car. The silent looks between Ethan and Joel, Ethan and me, then Ethan and Allison, were priceless. I chuckled to myself.
TEN
The Contenders
Morning came too early. I woke up on time, but clung to my pillow for a minute. Then I remembered the building I was working on at the office and I sprang up and hopped in the shower, excited about the day ahead. I was sure everyone would be talking about the success of the benefit, and if the past few weeks were any indication, no one would have noticed or even cared that Colin and I spent the evening dancing together.
As I washed my hair, I took a quick inventory of my summer so far. I’d met three really great guys – scratch that – four, and I wondered what I was going to do about it. I started my summer off in despair, thinking I should just be alone to figure things out. But I really didn’t have to be alone, did I? Ah, the question that always seemed to plague me. To be alone or not? To me “alone” equals lonely, and I didn’t like that idea. But, as I stepped out of the shower, I still felt the weight of Graham. I wondered how long that was going to last.
On my way out the door, I noticed the light on my answering machine blinking. I didn’t remember hearing the phone ring. I pressed play and heard Trish’s voice. I hadn’t seen or heard from her since that day at the beach before I left to go home.
“Emily, I’m back. You and I have a ton of catching up to do. How about dinner?” It sounded great. I picked up the phone knowing it was early, but Trish pointed out ages ago that she was a morning person. So, what the heck. She answered on the first ring.
“Totally.” Was all I had to say, and she knew it was me.
“So, tonight at Knorwo
od’s, at eight?” she suggested.
“I’ll see you then. And Trish, thanks for calling.” I felt bad that I hadn’t called her, and I did really miss her. I made another mental note to concentrate more on my friends and less on my Graham misery.
Work went by quickly. I ate lunch at my desk, continuing to be completely engrossed in my project. There was little talk about the benefit. Either that or I just didn’t notice because I was concentrating on my project. I didn’t see Colin at all. As I cleaned up my desk before I left, I realized I wished I had.
“Emily?” I looked up, startled that I hadn’t heard anyone approach. Sharon had a roll of drawings in her hand and moved around my chair smoothing them out on my desk. I watched intently, wondering what project it was. “Colin’s gone to the Bay Area office to help with the final push on the Levi building. He suggested you help with the elevations of this project.” She turned the sheet revealing half-completed elevations.
“I’d be happy to. Who should I talk to in Colin’s absence?”
“Oh, I’ll get you started this week, then Tim in Colin’s group can field any questions you have.”
“When will Colin be back?” The question fell out of my mouth before I had a chance to think about it.
“It might be a few weeks. I’m not sure. The Levi building has fallen behind. We’ll have to see,” she said with concern.
I nodded, and decided any more questions about Colin were probably inappropriate. On the way down to my car, I realized I was sad. I didn’t know I’d miss him. Who knew? I shook my head to dismiss the thoughts and feelings, and climbed into my car, ready to meet Trish. When I arrived at the restaurant she was already enjoying a drink at the bar. I joined her, ready for a fun evening.
“So how are things, Emily?” I knew she was asking about Graham or the lack of Graham.
“Fine.” Yes, I was being vague.
“Have you seen him?” she asked, taking a sip.
“No. I mean he stopped by a couple of weeks ago, but I haven’t seen him lately.” I hoped my response was boring enough to move on to the next subject.
Emily Calls It (The Emily Series) Page 6