Blinding Echo

by Tina Saxon

  I clear my throat and say, “This next left is her street.” Ellie wrings her hands together and leans forward to read the house numbers. I’ve reminded her every day that no matter what happens, I choose her.

  I slow the car and park in front of a pale yellow brick house and glance over at Ellie. She’s staring at the house, biting the inside of her cheek. “This is stupid,” she says, shifting in her seat toward me, panicking. “Let’s go. We can call her and tell her she has a twin.”

  I grin, having thought that numerous times this week. I wrap my hand around hers and bring it to my lips. “How about I go check if she’s home. She won’t recognize me, so I’ll introduce myself and explain…” I pause, wondering what I should say. “Well, we’ll go from there. This isn’t something we can plan out.”

  She exhales loudly. “Okay. Gesture when it's a good time for me to get out.”

  I lean over, grab her behind the neck and guide her to my mouth. Her lips part and I pour the love I have for her into the kiss. “I love you,” I murmur against her lips. She nods when I find her eyes. “It'll be okay.”

  At least, I hope so.

  I hop out of the SUV and shake out my hands, taking a few deep breaths. She won’t know you, I repeat in my head. I'm a stranger to her, she'll think I'm a sales person in my khaki shorts and polo. My knuckles rap on the glass part of the door and then I stick them in my pockets. It’s afternoon, so she’s probably not even here. After a couple minutes of hearing nothing, I spin around and walk down the stairs. I glance at Ellie and shrug. The sound of a door opening stops me in my tracks.

  “Kase,” a familiar voice says from behind me. Ellie’s voice, but with a heavy southern accent. I turn slowly, cocking my head. She didn’t just say my name. Did she?

  When our eyes meet, my words get stuck in my throat. I always knew Ellie looked like her, but seeing Everly standing there, it’s remarkable how similar they are. Those green eyes I fell in love with stare back at me. My brain doesn’t seem to be functioning. I told it over and over she wouldn’t recognize me, yet she said my name.

  “Did you say my name?”

  She smiles. “I did.” I can see it in her eyes. The recognition. The love. I drop my gaze, focusing on my hands. “Kase, I remember you.” She takes a step toward me. I should take a step back, but I can’t. My feet are rooted in this spot.

  “How? When?” I respond in disbelief.

  She turns her attention toward a vehicle coming down the street and her gaze darts down to her watch. She peeks at it again and then back to me. A flicker of panic flashes in her eyes and her shoulders tense. I crane my neck around to see what has her so worried. A truck pulls up, and a boy hops out and rushes up the sidewalk.

  “Mom, I got a hundred in PE.” He flies by me, holding up a piece of paper.

  She runs her hand through his hair, her eyes flickering between the two of us. “Good job. Can you go inside, I’ll be in there in a minute.” He turns and stares at me. I freeze in disbelief.

  “Hi, I’m Reed.” He holds out his hand. I focus on his little hand. Long skinny fingers. His eyebrow shoots up when I stand there stupefied, struggling to find my voice.

  I slowly lift my hand, wrapping it around his. “Hi Reed, I’m Kase.”

  “Hmm. That’s a cool name.” My lips curl up.

  “Thanks. I like yours too.” His face brightens and I’m staring at myself almost twenty years ago. It’s hard to breathe let alone talk when all I want to do is yell. “How old are you Reed?”

  “I’m ten. I look younger because I haven’t hit my growth spurt yet. It’s coming though, isn’t that right, Dad.” My heart stops. I jerk my head up to Everly, my entire insides twisting in a frenzy. Did he call me dad? Everly’s eyes water, her hand covers her mouth, and she shakes her head slightly. What does that mean? He’s not mine, or he didn’t call me dad? I glance back to Reed but his eyes focus on something behind me. I peer over my shoulder to the man leaning against his truck, his eyes pinned on me.

  A flash of rage heats inside me. This isn’t happening. He wouldn’t do this. He’s been my best friend since we were born.

  “Kase,” Wayne says, pushing off his truck and strolling toward me. “This is a surprise.”

  My muscles tighten and I draw my head back stiffly. I laugh without humor. You fucking think?

  Whipping back around to Everly, I wait for her to tell me what I’m thinking is wrong. When she can't look at me, she confirms my suspicion. I have a son, and my best friend raised him without telling me. I squeeze the bridge of my nose as my body vibrates with anger. There’s only been one other time anger flowed through every vein in my body and it didn't end well.

  “Reed, please go inside.” Everly’s voice breaks. Reed looks at each of us.

  “Is everything okay?” he asks, peering at me. His question isn’t directed at me, but I’m the stranger here. I manage to smile at him and relax my shoulders despite my raging pulse.

  “It is. Just go and start your homework. Do it in your bedroom,” Everly replies.

  His hands flail to the side before they flop down. “What? Why am I being grounded? I didn’t do anything this time.” Despite my annoyance, I grin at the little guy. He even reminds me of me.

  “You’re not grounded. I just need you to go in your room, okay?” She lifts his chin so he’s looking at her. He nods his head and goes inside. I blow out a ragged breath.

  "Kase, I never meant for you–"

  I hold a finger up, grinding my teeth. "Stop," I snap. I shift my attention to Wayne. "You son-of-a-bitch." I leap the three feet that separates us, slamming my fist into his face. His fist connects to my side and we both tumble to the ground, throwing punches and kicks.

  “Kase! Stop.” My back stiffens and I push off Wayne, rolling to my side. Everly gasps and I close my eyes knowing today changes everything.

  Ellie.

  “What the hell?” Wayne rasps in between heavy breathing and spitting blood.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Ellie

  I haven’t ever watched my life fall apart, from the outside, looking in. These last fifteen minutes in the car, observing has been excruciating. I’d thought about getting out of the car, many times, except each time, something new happened. Something life changing, like watching Kase’s name fly out of my twin sister's mouth. Or watching Kase see his son for the first time. My heart broke as soon as I saw the kid's face.

  When Kase jumped on the guy, I couldn't wait anymore. What he’s capable of and the thunderous expression written across his face; I knew he'd need someone on his side to help him stop.

  So, here I stand, three sets of eyes pinned on me. I didn’t think this through. The silent street fills with panting and grunts from the two guys. Kase rolls over and pushes up to stand and I rush to his side, struggling to avoid the stares from Everly and the guy.

  “This is rich, even for you, Kase. What, you can’t have Everly so you found someone who looks just like her?”

  “Fuck you, asshole,” he rasps, taking a step toward him. I lay my hand on his chest, halting him. He growls, glaring at the guy. “I’m sorry. I need to take a walk.” He whips around and stomps off.

  “That’s right, walk away. You’re good at that.”

  Who the hell is this guy? He’s signing his own death warrant and I’m not stopping Kase next time.

  “I figured you’d be happy that it was me taking care of Everly and your kid.”

  Kase’s fists squeeze, his knuckles whiten as he remains still and I can see his restraint slipping. Everly must see it too.

  “That’s enough, Wayne.” It’s the first time I’ve heard her talk. I focus on her and I can feel her pain, deep inside my body. I shiver at the trespassing emotion. Our eyes lock and I feel like I’m looking into a mirror. “Wayne, you need to leave,” she says without looking away.

  "But—"

  She shakes her head and finally looks at him. “No, you need to leave.”

  Wayne’s face tw
ists and he pleads with her. “Please don’t take away my son. You told me you wouldn’t.” He wipes his bloody lip with the back of his hand, looking at the blood.

  “I can’t do this right now.”

  “I’m so sorry, babe,” he says.

  She winces and he drops his shoulders in resignation.

  “Tell Reed I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”

  When he walks past me, I can see tears falling. It’s obvious he loves Everly and Reed. After he drives away, it’s down to two.

  I shove my hands in my pockets because things just turned awkward. She looks me up and down, her brows creased. She clears her throat. “I don’t know what to say.”

  I let out a muffled laugh. “Hi?”

  “Who are you?”

  “I’m Ellie. So, it seems we’re twins.”

  Her eyes bulge and her mouth gapes open and I imagine that was exactly my expression when I found out. “We were split up when we were born and adopted to different families.” She got the better deal.

  She shakes her head fast. “No. That can’t be right. You must’ve received bad information. I’m not adopted.”

  She stares at me for a few moments and then takes out her phone. Her hands shake as she presses the call button. I hate this for her right now. At least when I found out, I was happy that I didn’t belong to my mom. She’s about to find out the parents she loves, lied to her.

  “Mom, was I adopted?” The words spill out of her mouth with no preempt. “Mom,” she snaps. “Just tell me yes or no.” She gasps and the phone slips from her hand, landing on the ground. A woman’s voice cries out of the phone, calling for Everly. I walk over, pick up the phone and end the call.

  “I’m so sorry you had to learn this way.” My voice is filled with regret. I hand her the phone when it starts to ring. She takes it and turns it off. I glance down the street to see if Kase is coming back, but he’s nowhere to be seen.

  “You must think I’m a horrible person right now,” she says.

  I turn back. “Truthfully, I have no clue what to think right now.”

  “Do you… want to come inside?”

  I understand her hesitancy. It took a few days to let this sink in before I could talk about it. Now, it feels surreal to be standing in front of someone who has your face, your voice. We shared the same space for nine months, we share pain, we share DNA.

  We share the same man.

  Yet, there is one thing she’ll always have that I can’t; a child that belongs to Kase. He’s been adamant about not wanting kids, but all of that has changed. He has one with her.

  “Please,” she whispers. “You seem to know more about us, and I’d like to talk.”

  “I'd like that.” I follow her up the steps.

  Once inside, shuffling footsteps come down the hallway. Reed walks into the living room and his eyes widen. “Holy shit!” he whoops, looking back and forth between us.

  “Reed Williams,” Everly warns in a way only mothers can.

  “Mom!” He ignores her and walks over to me, looking me up and down. “You got a clone! You said you always wanted one. I didn’t know they were real. How much was she? Does she have a turn off button? Can she clean my room?” His questions rattle off his tongue as fast as a freight train. My lips curve into a smile as he continues to observe me. He pokes my arm. “She feels real too.”

  “Reed,” she says, trying not to laugh.

  “Mom, this is so cool. How will I know who's who? I don’t want to tell her a secret when it’s not you.” The excitement in his voice is too much. Everly and I both burst out. His eyes brighten and he jumps up and down. “You can even make her laugh when you do!”

  “Reed, she’s not a clone.” Reed gives her an incredulous stare. “She’s…” she pauses, wondering how to explain. It might be easier to go along with the clone aspect. “She’s my sister.”

  His smile drops and he jerks his head in my direction and back to her. “You told me you didn’t have any brothers or sisters.”

  “Um… this is a surprise to me too.” She struggles with the words to explain. “Can you go outside and play while we talk?”

  She manages to get him outside by offering candy. He couldn’t care less what’s going on when he pops a sucker in his mouth. He runs outside, yelling he’ll be at Bennett’s. The screen door slams leaving us alone once again.

  She walks to her kitchen while I walk around her living room. The soft yellow on the walls match the outside paint and brighten the room. Pictures of Reed are all over one of the walls, black frames surround them in a patterned display. My eyes jump from picture to picture, many with Reed and the guy from outside. My heart hurts for Kase and I wonder how he's dealing with everything. I move along when my subconscious tells me it should be Kase in those pictures with Everly and Reed. My chest hurts thinking that is where he might want to be.

  Everly offers me a glass of tea when I’m looking at a picture of her and what I’m assuming is her mom. She’s a beautiful brunette. She could pass as our mom. A slight streak of jealousy rears its head. It’s not her fault you were stuck with a rotten mother. I take a large drink to swallow the feeling and my hand flies to my chest.

  “Oh my gosh.” I cough and clear my throat of the sugar cube I just drank. “I forget how sweet the tea is here in Texas.”

  “So… I guess you’ve been here before? Texas,” she clarifies.

  “I grew up in El Paso.” Twirling my ice around, I glance down to my glass. I can sense she has more questions. “You have a nice home,” I say, looking around, avoiding her gaze. I pick up a picture sitting on her TV stand. It’s Everly, Reed and the guy from earlier. They seem happy.

  “That was taken right before I got my memory back.”

  “Oh.” My eyebrows rise in surprise. Reed isn’t much younger in the picture.

  “It was taken last year.” She's only had her memories back for less than a year? She walks over to the couch and sits.

  “Who’s the guy?”

  “Wayne. Kase’s best friend from school.” Wow. That explains a lot. No wonder he attacked him. “It’s a long story, but until last year, I thought Wayne was Reed’s father.”

  I do a double take. “Did he know Reed wasn’t his?” I ask, trying to give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I take a seat on the cushioned chair, opposite the couch.

  She takes a deep inhale and blows it out. “Oh yeah. Look at him, he’s a tiny version of Kase. Wayne isn’t a bad guy, he truly loves me and Reed. We had a great life. He was the perfect husband, the perfect dad. It was all just based on the perfect lie. Until I hit my head from trying to use a skate board. I blacked out and when I woke up, it was the oddest thing. My memories were all there. Old and new. My body was waging a war inside itself. The love I had for Kase was there like it never went away, yet the love I had for Wayne was there too. It was a confusing couple of months,” she says, sarcastically.

  “Wow,” I say, trying my hardest to ignore that she still loves Kase. Her eyes travel down my arm. They stay on my scar for a few moments and then move down to my ring finger. My fingers tingle, and I nervously cross my legs and shove my hand in between them.

  “What happened?” She runs her fingers over her arm where my scar is.

  How do you tell someone that the bond you share with them is so deep, it’s life altering? “I was… someone attacked me.” I’m an advocate for the abused. Using my voice and my skills to help women who have been through the same thing I went through is important to me. But in this moment, I’ve never been more afraid to admit it. Her breath hitches and her fingers touch her parted lips.

  “I’m so sorry,” she mutters through her fingers.

  “It’s okay. It’s been years since it happened.” I wince when I realize my mistake.

  “When… did it happen?”

  “Um…” I pause, sweat drips down my back and I'm about to excuse myself for the bathroom, but decide it's best to get it out. “When I was eighteen.” Her eyes dart around the roo
m. With a slight shake of her head, she’s telling herself it can’t be possible. But it is. “It was August twenty-fifth.”

  She pushes off the couch, her breath quivers as she passes me, walking out of the room. I drop my head into my hands. Please don’t hate me. I already carry the guilt that this is all my fault. I hear her come back into the room, so I look up. Her eyes are glossed over and she’s holding her arms across her chest.

  “I just want to make sure I understand this. You were attacked on the same day I was in a car accident where they thought I might have passed out because there was no other explanation.” I bite my lip and nod. She clears her throat. “And then you come here… to what? Show me you’re getting what I should’ve had?” Her voice turns to ice and the coldness shoots straight to my heart. I stand up, shaking my head.

  “No, that’s not it at all. I wanted Kase–”

  “Kase was mine. He’s not yours. He’s only with you because you have my face,” she snaps. She throws all my fears at me, each word like heavy bricks, hard and damaging. Coming out of her mouth, they dig deeper inside my heart, leaving a hole that might never heal. I try to hold back my tears, hiding the hold she already has on me. I can’t form the words I want to say. They’ll all be lost in her hurtful words. She won’t hear that I never meant to hurt her. I came here to meet my sister. I came here to see if Kase was over her. I didn’t think I was coming to lose him to her.

  "Or are you with him for his money?"

  I stand up, clutching my arm as my mind races to understand what she's asking.

  "You don't know, do you?" She scoffs, glancing down at my ring as if minimizing Kase's and my relationship.

  When the first tears fall, I know I need to leave. “I’m sorry I ever came here.” Running out of the house, I catch Kase sitting on the swing with Reed, laughing.

  The coldness left in my heart from Everly’s words, snaps and shatters in a million pieces.

  I have the answers I needed.

  This is where he belongs.

  Chapter Thirty-Three