Blinding Echo

by Tina Saxon

  Kase

  This is my punishment.

  I left. I was a coward. Had I stayed and dealt with the consequences of my actions, I would have known I had a son. Taking a walk has only tormented me more thinking about all the what ifs? Each scenario playing in my head, ends with me being a failure as a father. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Maybe it played out how it should have.

  As Everly’s house comes into view, Reed is out front throwing a football in the air. I step aside and lean on a tree to watch him. He grips the football, weaving back and forth, running to the end of the yard. He spikes the football and does a dance. I smile to myself; he gets that from his mom. I stroll toward him, studying his every move.

  Our eyes catch when he notices me coming. I can’t believe how much he resembles me. “You’re with my mom’s clone, aren’t ‘cha?" I smack my head. Shit, I forgot about Ellie. I’m such an asshole for leaving her. I’m not the only one to have my world flipped upside down today. Reed stares at me while I berate myself internally.

  “Is she inside?”

  “Yeah. They’re talking girly stuff,” he reports using air quotes. “If she’s my mom’s sister, I guess that makes you my uncle?” That fucking hurts.

  Running my hand through my hair, I grit my teeth. “Something like that. Can you throw?” I put my hands up, hoping he’ll forget this conversation and move on. His eyes light up as he squeezes the ball in his hands.

  “Be prepared to be amazed,” he boasts, hopping backward farther away from me. I laugh at his overzealous distance. If he can throw that far, I will be amazed. He launches it through the air. It falls a good ten feet short of where I’m standing. Nice try, little dude. I run and pick it up, throwing it back to him so he doesn’t have time to feel like he failed. He’s a much better catcher than he is a thrower. As he darts around me, I pretend to chase him to the end of the yard. He hoots and hollers, spiking the ball again to signal he made a touchdown.

  “Nice catch.”

  “Thanks. I’m trying out for the football team this year. Mom says I’m too small, but she doesn’t see my potential.” I follow him up to the porch as he keeps talking. “I could be the next Tom Brady.” I try to hide my amusement as he turns toward me. “What? I just didn’t want you to have to go running for the ball, so I didn’t try very hard.” His confidence is twice the size of him.

  “I think you should try out for wide receiver. You can catch and run fast. You’d be perfect for it.”

  “Hmm. Did you play football?” He sits on the swing, so I sit down next to him. The tips of his toes scrape the ground. I spread my fingers across my leg and glance over at his, resting in his lap. I can’t stop looking for similarities. This intense, foreign feeling inside me is making me fixate on him.

  A passing car is a welcome distraction. I’m going to scare the hell out of him if I keep staring at him and his body parts. “I did. Your—” I stop myself from spilling that his mom didn’t like me playing football either. He stares up at me, confused why I stopped. “You’re a lot like me when I was a kid. I played wide receiver.”

  His smile widens and his eyes move up and down my arms. “I have muscles too,” he says, flexing his arm up.

  I bite back my laughter. Squeezing his tiny muscle, I say, “Heck yeah, you do.”

  “Why do you have a frog skeleton on your arm?” He points to my tattoo.

  “It’s called a Bone Frog.” I stare at it wondering if I had known about Reed, would I have still gone into the military? I shrug. No matter the answer, I’m still proud as hell to say, “I’m a Navy SEAL.”

  His lips twist and he peers at me through the corner of his eyes. “I guess you like animals?”

  My whole body deflates against the swing. That’s not the response I was shooting for. Admiration. Idolization. Worship. Any of those would have been good.

  I sit up tall and turn my body toward him. “You’ve heard of the Navy? Right?”

  “Bennett’s grandfather was in the Navy.”

  I nod, even though I don’t have a clue who Bennett is. “A SEAL is an elite team from the Navy.” My explanation doesn’t do it justice, but considering it’s better than him thinking I like animals, it’ll work for now.

  “Oh,” he responds, listless. “My dad’s a police officer.” A cocksucker, too. I’m not surprised Wayne’s a cop. His father and grandfather were too. I’m sure Everly’s dad approves.

  “That’s cool,” I say with a hard smile. “I bet he never jumped out of planes and swam with sharks.” I settle back into the swing with a satisfied smirk at the wide-eyed expression. That’s the response I was shooting for.

  “No way.” He jumps up, his arms widen. “You did that?” My heart rate rises the more excited he gets. Yeah, your real dad is a bad-ass. He sits back down, sitting on the edge of the swing. “Tell me more. What else did you do?”

  My smile reaches my eyes. His buzz makes me feel like I can conquer the world. I’ve never wanted to prove myself to anyone more than I do to him, right now.

  I halt my words when I hear Ellie cry, “I’m sorry I ever came here.” The door flies open and she freezes when she sees me and Reed on the swing. Tears pool in her pained stare. I push off the swing, but she shakes her head and runs to the car. What the hell happened? I glance at Everly, the same face, except anger radiates from her. My heart feels like it’s being yanked on. I don’t know which direction to go knowing there will be ramifications no matter what I do. The pain in my heart only worsens as the beat begins to pound harder.

  I flash Everly a look of regret and turn back to Reed. “Hey big guy, it was great meeting you. Maybe, someday soon, we’ll be able to hang out again.”

  The excitement in his voice from before dulls, but he says, “That’d be cool.” He walks over to his mom’s side, and she wraps her arm around him. As if to tell me, I’m making a choice by leaving. I guess I am, but I love Ellie. I am choosing her over Everly. Reed is my son though, she can’t control that. She will see me again.

  When I hop in the car and turn over the engine, Ellie lowers her head into her hands and cries. I don’t know what to say, but I need to get her out of here, so I put the car in drive and leave. The ride is silent except for the low radio noise in the background. She won’t look at me, just stares out the window.

  The hotel parking lot is empty except for a couple cars. I anticipate her move to jump out before I can turn off the car, so I grab her arm as she tries to exit. “Ellie, talk to me.” She shakes her head and I watch tears run down her profile. “It's you that owns my heart.”

  “Then why are you still lying to me?” she cries. I angle my head not knowing what she’s talking about. “Do you have money, Kase?” My belly knots. She won’t believe me when I tell her I forgot. But I did. I close my eyes briefly and sigh.

  “Yes.”

  She throws her head back against the seat. “I can’t believe this. Did we tell each other anything that was the truth?”

  “I love you. That was never a lie.”

  “How much?”

  “More than the water in the oceans.”

  She gapes at me for a beat and then shakes her head. “No, I mean how much money?”

  “Oh.” I shrug. “I don’t know exactly. Let’s just say a lot.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “In the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t important. Money’s a necessity to me, not a luxury. I don’t care how many zeroes are in my bank account. It’s never been part of my life. It’s just there.”

  “It’s not important to me either, but it’s part of you and we’re supposed to be getting married, Kase. I shouldn’t have found out by it being thrown in my face.” I can’t believe Everly brought it up. She drops her gaze and silence surrounds us again. She lifts her head and asks, “Where did your money come from?”

  I bite my lip and stare out the windshield. “My great-grandfather was Jerry Barrow.” I wait for her reaction, but when she doesn’t have one, I roll
my head in her direction. She digs in her memory searching for where she knows that name. It shouldn’t take her long.

  Her mouth falls open and I’m certain she figured it out. “As in Barrow Oil? Barrow gas stations?” I nod. “Holy. Shit. Kase. This isn’t a small revelation. Do you own Barrow Oil?”

  I shake my head. “It’s a publicly traded company. But I do own shares.”

  She stares at me. “I can’t do this right now. I’m sorry.”

  I reach for her hand to stop her. “None of this matters, Ellie. I love you. Isn’t that enough?”

  “It does matter.” She chokes back her tears. “You don’t have the whole story, Kase. It will matter.” She yanks her hand out of my grip, leaving me behind wondering what in the hell I missed. Part of me wants to turn around and drive back to Everly, demanding the whole story. What she could say to justify keeping my kid from me, or why she married Wayne?

  Drawing in a ragged breath, I push myself out of the car. I grumble when I see a police cruiser in the parking lot that wasn’t there five minutes ago. I tense immediately. Come at me, asshole. Wayne and another guy sit in the front seats. He brought his friend. I’d like him to meet a few of mine. He wants me to engage. Earlier was a knee-jerk reaction. It won’t happen again. I’ll wait for the perfect opportunity and now isn’t it. I glare at him until I hit the front doors, not giving him the time of day once I pass through the entrance.

  I fucking hate small towns.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Ellie

  I’m a placeholder.

  Thinking I could be anything more to Kase was foolish. I haphazardly stuff my clothes into my duffle bag and quickly grab all my bathroom accessories. Once he comes into the room, he’ll challenge my decision to leave and I’m not certain I'm strong enough to fight him. He doesn’t know how this story ends.

  I do. It’s not me who ends up with a happily ever after.

  I pull at the zipper, forcing it closed. Snatching my phone off the bedside table, my phone lights up and I search for the Uber app. Not having used it in forever and the fact that my mind is on the verge of breaking down, I can’t find the freaking app. My fingers halt at the sound of Kase clearing his throat.

  I sigh, not surprised I didn't notice him. “What are you doing?” His voice is raspy laced with anger and hurt. I glance up and he’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed and flexed.

  “What does it look like?” I respond, dropping my arms to my side. It comes out more snidely than I meant. This situation sucks. For both of us. He found out he’s a dad, and he’s having to deal with that surprise, but at least he’ll have something to look forward to after the dust clears. I’m choking on the dust, only I'll be left standing alone in the end. It’s not like I haven’t been here before. I’ve become a pro at picking myself up off a dusty floor and moving on.

  “Tell me what happened in there,” he demands.

  Rolling my lips between my teeth, I close my eyes for a beat and shake my head. “It’s not my place to tell. You need to hear it from her.” I grab my bag and walk around the bed. “We weren’t meant to be,” I whisper. The words are like broken glass, shredding my insides as they come out. He stands tall as I pass him and I glance down to avoid his dark eyes. He mutters a curse word under his breath.

  His hand grips my arm pulling me back and I shriek as he pins me against the wall. Panic bleeds from his eyes. He doesn’t hesitate in taking what he wants. His lips slam down on mine. I resist as his tongue searches for entry. He hoists me up, pushing himself into me. My body warms instantly with him in between my legs. A gasp escapes my lips as he bites down on the bottom one–hard. Using the opportunity of my surprise, his tongue dominates my mouth, showing no signs of mercy, weakening my resolve as he devours my mouth. My bag slips from my fingers, making a loud thump as it hits the carpeted floor. I wrap my legs and arms around him and turn off my mind screaming at me to walk away.

  It’s in this fractured instant that hope lives where it’s only us. He presses more firmly into me and a moan slips from my lips. His hands grip my ass hard enough I’ll have bruises later. “You won’t walk away from me,” he mutters against my lips. “You are mine.”

  I am, but you’re not mine.

  The wetness behind my closed eyes escapes. Tasting my salted tears, Kase stops kissing me and leans his forehead against mine. His chest rises and falls as silence hangs between us.

  “You’re still leaving, aren’t you?”

  I take in a deep breath and nod. He mutters a few more curse words as he puts me down and walks away. “You were her blinding echo. My eyes might have deceived me, but my heart and soul felt you. I’ll admit, in the beginning you were masked by the idea you were someone else, but everything that makes you different, made me want you more. I fell madly in love with Ellie. Can’t you see I love you and I chose you. I don’t know what else I can say.”

  “There's nothing you can say right now. I already told you, you need to hear what happened.”

  “Okay! Stay here and I’ll go talk to Everly and then we can figure this out together.” He looks down at my ring finger. “Together, like a couple who is getting married.”

  “Kase,” my voice breaks. “You have a son.”

  “Do you think I don’t fucking know that already,” he says, getting frustrated. “Is that why you’re leaving?”

  “No. Yes… no,” I finally spit out. “It’s part of it, but it’s not what you’re thinking.” I wish he could see I’m giving him a way out. When he finds out the truth, he’ll want to make it right with her. He bleeds loyalty, and his loyalty should be with his true love and their son. Not me.

  “Fine,” he grates. “I’m taking you to the airport.” I nod in defeat and he sweeps up my bag. “Ellie, we aren’t over. Not by a long shot.”

  You’ll change your mind, Cowboy.

  “Don’t let that bitch take your man.” Tori’s been yelling at me for the last half hour. I’m tired of explaining myself. “She might have the same DNA as you but she’s not you, and Kase loves you.”

  I moan, running my hands through my hair, hiding my face in my arms. My life was complicated before, but this is like a puzzle that took months to put together only to find out there’s a missing piece. That piece is Everly.

  “And don’t even get me started about how pissed I am that she blames you for all of this. Seriously?”

  I lift my head, watching Tori walk back and forth in front of me. “I think it was a knee-jerk reaction. In her defense, she had just learned she was adopted, has a twin sister — who was with the love of her life — and by some weird twin thing, she felt when I almost died. It’s a lot to take in.” I don’t blame her even though it hurt my heart.

  She rolls her eyes. “I guess we’ll give her a pass there. But I’m not budging that Kase belongs with you. Even if you're twins, you’re still two different people. She might have been his past, but you’re his present.”

  “You sound like him.”

  “See. Maybe now, you’ll listen to both of us.”

  I don’t want to tell her how inadequate I feel that I can’t give him a child. Even though he swore he didn’t want kids, his eyes lit up talking to Reed. What if he decides he wants more now? I can’t give him a baby, but she can.

  She can give him everything.

  I fall back against the couch, the tears starting again.

  “Why did two hearts have to choose the same one to love?” I cry.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Kase

  Someone fills the empty shot glass in front of me to the brim. I cast my eyes up and nod in appreciation. The older woman smiles. I glance at her name tag. “Thanks, Karen.”

  “I figured you needed another one. That one’s on the house.” Need another one? I chuckle to myself. I need the whole fucking bottle. “If you need someone to talk to, I’m your girl.” She looks up and down the empty bar. “Got nothin’ better to do.”

  Picking up the amber liquid, I swallow
the heat in one gulp. “I’m tired of talking,” I murmur, slamming the glass down. Talking didn’t keep Ellie here. She left me. I should’ve gone straight to Everly’s house and demanded she tells me everything, so I could leave and fight my way back into Ellie’s heart. But a part of me is afraid to hear the truth.

  “Hey there, Sheriff,” Karen says to someone standing behind me. My head lolls forward and I groan. Can’t he give me some fucking space? His eyes burn a hole in my back. Right where the knife is that he put there years ago.

  “Hi Karen. This guy causing trouble?”

  She looks at me and I roll my eyes, dragging my hand across my cheek.

  “Not at all. But if you’re here to create some, I’m asking you to leave my bar.” She stands tall and stares him down, not the least bit afraid of him. A smile creeps up my cheeks. Wayne’s a pussy. He can’t even get respect wearing a cop uniform.

  I twist my neck, looking back when he doesn’t answer. His jaw ticks. “I’m not here to cause problems. We need to talk, Kase.”

  I return to looking forward and whistle through my teeth. “Not sure anything you say will help me not want to kill you right now.”

  “You boys better cool your shit. I mean it.” Karen looks at me with a side eye, reminding me of my momma when she’d do that to me and Wayne when we were doing something we shouldn’t have been. I scratch my jaw, still wondering how my friend screwed me over?

  I spin around on the stool. “You’re right, we need to talk,” I snap, standing and walking to a corner. We both sit and glare at each other, waiting for the other to go first.

  “Why?” I finally ask.

  “That’s a loaded question. I could ask you the same thing.”

  My eyes widen. “Me? You’ve raised my son and you’re sitting there asking me why?”

  “You left us to clean up your mess when you ran,” he seethes.