Secrets of the Weeping Willow

by Kathleen Anastasia

  Her heart jumped at the clearing of his throat, his deep voice vibrating through his chest. “About three years ago... an old navy buddy of mine decided to move from here to New York City. He said he had a proposition for me, involving a great deal of delicacy. It seemed he had been hired about six years prior by an old friend of his needing to locate a young woman and her daughter, who had seemed to vanish off the face of the earth.”

  Confused, Elizabeth shook her head in disbelief. Not understanding the significance of what Leo was saying to her, “I don’t understand?”

  Leo’s heart jumped under her hand, as he continued. “When I took the assignment I was told that the woman and her daughter had both gone underground from a man with whom the woman had been involved. Then a few months after they took their new aliases they went silent. I was told that all avenues had been exhausted but nothing was ever heard from either one of them since. He had been able to locate the house the woman had bought rather easily. But, when he did, what he found was troublesome. He then flew to New York to make his report to the man seeking the information. I guess the man had been undeterred and insisted that the case not be closed.”

  Leo’s words radiated through Elizabeth’s mind in a tidal wave of disbelief and her body became light as if she was floating away from the weight of it all. “Who? Who hired him?”

  “At first my buddy gave me limited information on the case, but after talking to the client he had reassured him that I could be trusted, so I had then flown to New York to meet him face to face and obtain what I needed to know to continue the investigation.”

  Elizabeth pushed away from Leo in frustration. “Who the hell was it?” She asked, but knowing before the words ever left Leo’s mouth.

  “Your father.” He said hesitantly.

  Elizabeth fell back from Leo in disbelief. Her mind fixated on the knowledge that Leo knew her father. He knew what he sounded like. Looked like. Where he lived and what he was like. Things she had only recently thought about yet…Leo had known all along. He had and always had the link to the knowledge she had craved. But, she couldn’t think of that now. She needed to look beyond the deception; beyond the secrets. “What’s he like?... My father?” Elizabeth asked a numbness enveloped her.

  “Determined.” Leo said, as he brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. Elizabeth flinched from the intimate contact. “When I met him and informed him of my opinion on the case, he shut down all theories. He stated that he didn’t deal with theories, he dealt with facts,” Leo said with a chuckle. “That was my first impression of your father. Although, I didn’t know he was your father at that time. It wasn’t until months later when I was able to win his confidence that he confided that bit of information with me, although, by that time, I had already concluded that fact. Anyways, he was very insistent that I look at the case with a new eye, that I may be able to see something my buddy had not seen. That without bodies you both could still be out there and need help. And then, and only then, if I was to find evidence of what happened, my theories would be considered, and then I was to find a way to make the monster who did it, disappear. When I flew back to New Orleans , I did as he asked and started to look at the case as if it was new and unexplored. That was when I obtained information that someone had indeed been searching for you both and was still in New Orleans. Determined, I sought out information on this man and found he did indeed fit the description of the man who had been after you and your mother those many years ago but little else. Not deterred, I hired an old friend to…warm up to him, find out what she could. It took her awhile but she eventually found out what I was looking for.”

  “Which was?”

  “That he indeed was in New Orleans for one reason only.”

  “Too find me!” Elizabeth said softly.

  “Yes…You.” Leo said with a nod. “He gave my friend the creeps, so I let her end the assignment before I found out why. Still curious and becoming increasingly obsessed with you both, I started to trail him. Finding out who he was had become a challenge since I found very little paper trail connected to his name.” He said with a shrug.

  “Wow, I was a challenge then.” Elizabeth said absently.

  He nodded as he continued. “Just when I thought it would be impossible to break him, I found him drunk in a bar, meaner then a caged raccoon, rambling about a bitch he had taken care of many years back and her bastard daughter who had up and vanished on him. He had stated that she had taken something from him which was very important but wouldn’t say what. But, when he found her again and regained what had been taken, then he would give her what she deserved which was the same as her mother.”

  Elizabeth groaned at the remark as she stood.

  Leo watched her as he finished. “I didn’t ask. But I knew what he felt you deserved. After seeing that side of him I knew he wouldn’t hesitate in making you disappear with nothing left to find. So I did what your father suggested, I looked at the case differently instead of finding out who Roger was, I instead decided to look into you and your mother’s past, which was easier to uncover than his. I looked beyond the public facade, attempting to see what you heard and saw, hoping the knowledge would tell me where you had gone, insight into how you thought and where you would run. I also began to admire your strength, your resilience, and your spirit. My life became immersed in what I discovered and learned about you. Your face started to haunt me because you had become a mystery I could not solve.”

  “I was a mystery you couldn’t solve,” Elizabeth said in disbelief. She turned back to the bed, where Leo now sat on the edge, her mind still unable to completely understand what she was hearing. Confused by everything. “So, if I’m understanding this right and I’m pretty sure I am. Way back when…when you just happened to notice me at the bar. You knew who I was back then?”

  “Yes,” Leo said hesitantly, his eyes pleaded for understanding. “As I said, you had become an obsession for me. But obviously, you looked a lot different than that picture I had of you, but your looks could not be mistaken, you had grown to be the splitting image of your mother.”

  Elizabeth felt her tears catch in her throat as she turned her back on Leo, her arms wrapped around her midriff. Not wanting to believe what Leo was saying. “Why?”

  “Why? It’s complicated. There isn’t one definitive answer to that question.”

  “Why. Don’t you just start with just one.”? Elizabeth said sarcastically. Anger flashed through her in a rush of poison, as she swung around to look at Leo. The emotion quickly covered her confusion as she felt her heart jump with adrenalin. “Why don’t you start with what gave you the right to play this mind game with me?”

  “It wasn’t like that.”

  “Then you tell me what it was like?”

  “You had lived under the radar for the last nine years. Then all of a sudden, you show up out of the blue almost exactly where you had vanished. So, to say the least, I was a bit apprehensive in letting you know that I knew who you were, or appeared to be. I needed to know what would bring you out of hiding after so many years before I told your father.” Leo said as he stood, stepping closer to Elizabeth as he reached out a hand to stroke her cheek gently as if to soften his words. “I had learned to respect your father over the years and I didn’t want to give him false hope.”

  Elizabeth stepped back out of Leo’s reach as she caught her breath. Surprisingly hurt by the words, but still understanding his reason. Wouldn’t she have done the same if the situation were reversed? But it still didn’t explain the weeks of deception as he played the game of shock and confusion every time she discovered something new. As he helped her find what he already knew. Elizabeth began thinking back to all the weeks they had been together, attempting to see the one thing she had missed, the many times he could have told her who she was and ending her pain. “I understand that. Don’t you think I would understand that? But, what I don’t understand is later. Whe
n you learned that I was desperate to learn who I was. When you learned that the monster who took my mother was hooking up with my friend Aurora.”

  “When I found out you had lost your memory...” Leo said as he reached over to pull Elizabeth back into his arms.

  ”Don’t. Don’t touch me,” Elizabeth said as she stepped back from Leo, lifting her hands in front of herself to keep him back, stepping out of his reach. “You can’t just pull me in your arms and make this all better. It doesn’t work that way.”

  “When I found out you had lost your memory,” Leo continued, his voice full of controlled patience. “I needed to then know who had kept you away from the authorities and for what purpose. Because it became very obvious you had been fed lies to make you believe you were someone else.”

  Elizabeth looked at Leo in disbelief, laughter pooling up and out of her, the sound filling the room. “So, you were trying to protect me?” Elizabeth said when she was able to gather her composure. “Is that what you’re trying to tell me? You kept the truth from me to protect me? Well, isn’t that just grand how everyone has kept things from me for my own good? I feel so warm and cozy with that little bit of information,” Elizabeth said sarcastically.

  “I didn’t tell you the truth because you believed what you were told. And if I was to tell you, I was afraid you would tell the person that had been keeping your identity from you. I wanted to know who I was dealing with.”

  “Oh this just keeps getting better and better. So what kept you from telling me once I found out that I wasn’t Elizabeth Jonas but rather, Julia Glass. Because I was under the impression I hired a private investigator to figure out who I was,” Elizabeth said impatiently. “But then again, once I think about it, that same private investigator didn’t find out much for me. Did you? I really never thought about it then, but now I can see how you just kind of encouraged me to tell you what you didn’t know.” Looking around the room, Elizabeth could see it so clearly now how Leo always helped her to remember and share with him her returning thoughts. But he never gave her any information himself. “How could I have been so blind, so stupid?”

  “Elizabeth, please don’t be like this.”

  “Like what?” Elizabeth asked as she stepped closer to Leo. “How do you want me to be? Because, if you expect me to be all soft and mushy telling you I understand and I forgive you, I can guarantee you that will not happen. I have had it up to my eyeballs with being protected and lied to. I’m not saying I don’t understand somewhat where you are coming from. But, the continuous deceit after you could have told me, is what I really need to consider. I need time to sort it all out,” Elizabeth said, as she started to walk out, not yet ready to hear the rest, wanting to instead absorb what she had already learned. She paused just within the doorway as she thought of her father. Asking over her shoulder. “Did you ever tell my father I was still alive and back in New Orleans?”

  “Yes. He agreed with my decision to hold off telling you until you got your memory back…We didn’t want to force the memories and possible harm you further.”

  “Was that your professional opinion?”

  “No…Sara warned me against it, also I discovered this same advice in books.” He said.

  Elizabeth heart beat rapidly as she heard him walk up behind her, his cologne clouded her mind, madly, as she grasped the edge of the doorframe closing her eyes at the torment of emotions. She forced herself to remain still and not turn back into his arms, where she knew she could loose herself in his strength.

  His voice deep and sad as he continued, “I wanted to tell you sooner. But I became afraid I would hurt you further or worse…lose you. And that I couldn’t bear.”

  Elizabeth nodded, in sadness as her heart had already started to forgive Leo for what he had done. But, her mind still felt the sting of his part in hiding her past and the knowledge that her father knew she was alive and back in New Orleans yet had not been shared. The weight of this new information created a hole in heart.

  Chapter 47

  Elizabeth rolled onto her side so her back faced Aurora and her tears which she had kept at bay for so long erupted in her as her heart contracted in pain. Her shoulders shook as she let her sadness course out of her in a river of cleansing liquid.

  She had no idea how long she laid next to Aurora in self pity but it only stopped when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Elizabeth rolled back to face Aurora’s kind eyes. Aurora’s hand was warm and soft as it brushed the tears from Elizabeth’s cheeks. Elizabeth smiled sadly as she leaned forward to rest her forehead onto Aurora’s. No words needed to be spoken. Elizabeth knew they both felt the other’s pain and understood each other a little bit better. The sound of Aurora’s breath, made all other thoughts leave her with the simple pleasure of her friend’s breath of life. This, too, they would survive. Aurora was stronger than she had given her credit for earlier, she also knew at this moment that neither Aurora nor herself would ever be the same, but they were survivors, this she knew.

  Now her life could began again…with the help of someone important that she would have to meet… who could hopefully give her the answers still left unanswered.

  Epilogue

  After holding it together long enough to see Aurora on the road to recovery, Elizabeth then went into seclusion at the old Victorian house she had loved so much as a child. With a desperate need to quiet the voices in her head, in an attempt to think of nothing else than what needed to be done to restore the house to its original beauty. She worked all day and into the night until she fell each night into a slumber of exhaustion. Her mind too tired to think, dream.

  The days blended into weeks, into months, until one day all that she had worked so hard to avoid crashed down on her in a tidal wave of emotions. Her demons then started to haunt her all hours of the day and night. An unsettling blackness settled down around her, crushing her under its weight. Madness, a reality of comfort as the past and present blended as one. Elizabeth felt her mind slipping within itself, the place comfortable and desirable, where nothing bad could touch her in its cold embraces. A vaguely familiar voice, from the recesses of her mind, whispered within her ear to fight what she could not see.

  A scream filled her head, the sound full of rage and terror. Elizabeth unable to comprehend reality from fantasy as she felt all she had worked so hard to regain slip through her fingers.

  She found herself no longer wanting to fight her mind’s desire to slip into the blissful arms of darkness, where nothing that was bad could touch her. But a distant voice wouldn’t let her give in, as it kept beckoning her; its tone familiar and comforting. Elizabeth then found herself weeping with a desire to slip within its velvety silkiness.

  An inner battle of wills overwhelmed her as she heard another voice overlapping the first, this female voice ancient and full of wisdom, telling her to stay strong and remember the weeping willow and all the truths it had held.

  To turn down the path less followed instead of the path that was familiar and safe.

  To not let the beast win.

  To instead, embrace that which could be.

  The words filled her mind with an earlier vision that she had seen in the gypsy’s globe of herself and a child swinging under the weeping willow. The child then became a girl running through the weeds, chasing a butterfly beneath a sky of blue, her laughter replacing the screams.

  The gypsy’s words finally broke through, ‘Embrace the future my child, along with the past. For the past is a fingerprint of who you are, no two individual’s past are exactly the same. The future a blank slate waiting to be fulfilled.’

  Elizabeth slowly felt her strength return, the blackness lifted from her sight.

  The unseen presence swirled around her in a cool mist, pleading with Elizabeth; to not let the brutality of the past take the possibilities of the future.

  The words, the presence–startled Elizabeth back to a fragile
oasis of sanity. In that moment she saw the card given to her by Sara, Leo’s psychiatrist friend, lying within a beam of light.

  It was in that brief moment of sanity that Elizabeth was able to see that she needed help to fight the madness of her mind. She had called Sara in desperation, as she fought the urge to slip within the comfort of ignorance. Sara had agreed to help and then became a beacon of light within Elizabeth’s blackness.

  With Sara’s help, she started to understand more of who her mothers were. Only mildly started when she had a vision so clear, she felt as if it was nothing more then a distant memory. She had watched in disbelief as she saw herself and Sara as if from a distance. The room changed, much like the time when she had met the gypsy that first night in New Orleans. So the living room, was no longer the living room, but a dark gravel road. She saw herself as a child lying in a spot of bright light; Rita had been next to her limp body on her knees, her hand shaking as it stroked her face gently, oblivious to a soft silhouette of mist which hovered over them, settling down around them and eventually enclosed them in a sort of cocoon as she watched Roger walk by them as if they were invisible.

  The vision ended as quickly as it came, Elizabeth focused again on Sara’s concerned eyes. Elizabeth felt happiness settle around her heart and finally understood that her mother’s spirit was always around and within her, helping and guiding her, seeing, the truth of the gypsy’s words on that terrifying night when all that she knew became just an illusion of smoke and mirrors. She had a gift, to see what others couldn’t, helping her understand that both of her mothers had a role in saving her life.

  An understanding of questions she had been searching for were answered in a moment of clarity. Her sense of confusion lifted as she saw the paths that we are all given in our lives which must be played out, the outcome that which we make it. She realized that both of her mothers had been given their paths to follow, which lead them to a cross road where whom they had loved would be taken and given. Both her mothers were forgiven, as Elizabeth faced the truth of their lives, their humanity, and fallibility.