Secrets of the Weeping Willow

by Kathleen Anastasia

  After that revelation, Elizabeth could focus on meeting the man who had given her life. But until that time, she needed to work on her own inner demons.

  Not wanting Leo to see this side of her, she fought him to stay at a distance as she struggled to find a peace within herself. His concern for her became overwhelming, distracting, which put a pressure on Elizabeth to put on a facade of strength as she pleaded with him to give her space his hovering driving her mad.

  This is how Leo found her among the wreckage of her therapy, the hutch she had hidden in as a child now just shards of wood and the spot her mother had taken her last breath, grounded down by a sander she had rented to restore the hardwood, so much so that the floor sloped slightly. All in an attempt to destroy all that had been destroying her.

  Leo’s hands were gentle as he held her and Elizabeth was able to feel his heartbeat against her cheek, steady. “Leo, I can’t stop the voices or visions. They prevent me from sleeping, because they swirl in my mind like movie clips. Then, I find myself playing with them as if I can edit and change the outcome with a click of a button. Wondering, if this or that happened, what would my life be like, now?” Elizabeth sighed, as she stepped away from Leo, her steps hesitant as she walked over to the red sofa bathed in warm sunlight from the picture window. The heel of her hands rubbed her tired and sore eyes from her mind’s endless wondering, making sleep an impossible probability. “Then I hear the chiming of the clock in the hall, reminding me of the passing hours. Reminding me, that soon the sun will rise again and for many it will be just another day.”

  “Elizabeth, what can I say? To help you move beyond this?” Leo asked his voice full of desperation.

  Elizabeth chuckled sadly at the comment “Nothing. That’s why I asked you to stay away for so long. There is nothing you can do. I have to work this out, in my own way. And, your presence–well it can be overwhelming. So much so, that I can’t focus on what I need to figure out…do you want to know something?” She asked, then continued before he could reply. “Ever since I can remember I always wished for the memories--that eluded me. Now, that I have them...well it’s much more complicating then I thought it would be.”

  “Most things are.” Leo said in understanding.

  “Yes, they are. I just wish my endless thoughts would leave me alone for one night at least, so I can get some sleep.” Elizabeth said.

  “Have you tried the sedatives the doctor left for you?”

  “No.” Elizabeth said in frustration as she sank further into the cushions on the sofa. “I don’t need to be doped up, with my head in a fog. I need to face my messed up, fucked up, life. Besides, I don’t want to get addicted to anything and have another issue I have to deal with.”

  “You’re not going to get addicted. Who told you that? That you would get addicted?”

  “No one. I’m just afraid it could happen.” Elizabeth said.

  “Baby, it wouldn’t happen.” Leo said as he said down next to Elizabeth his hands pulling her to him.

  Elizabeth slapped his hands away, jumping up in anger. “Stop, it. Stop patronizing me. It could happen. I saw it once, on one of those news programs, where these people were addicted to sleeping pills.” Elizabeth said in frustration the desire to scream at the room strong, for no other reason than to express her inner turmoil. She looked back over at Leo who is now sitting on the edge of the sofa, a look of confusion and apprehension lined his face. The expression brought her back to her senses as she realized she was talking irrationally and making little sense. She took in a deep breath in an attempt to calm her thoughts and think more clearly, needing to reassure Leo that she would be fine. “Besides, Sara has given me some exercises to try and they seem to be helping.”

  “Sara? When did you talk to Sara?” Leo asked in surprise.

  “I’ve been talking to her for the last month. She has been helping me, sort all of this out.” Elizabeth said as she looked back over at Leo, smiling at his confused expression. “You seem surprised?”

  Leo shook his head negatively. “No, I just didn’t know Sara has been out to see you.”

  “And that is killing you, isn’t it. You hate the idea that you have no control over any of this.” Elizabeth laughed, more to herself than at Leo, as she walked over to the picture window.

  She looked out at the Weeping Willow in the distance, the wind brushing the branches slightly which made her think of all she had learned, and is still learning, about who she was and where she had come from. Her life was a puzzle of distorted and confusing images that Sara had been helping her sort and figure out which were real and which were imagination. Elizabeth turned back to face Leo and smiled in reassurance to him. “Leo, you can’t fix this problem for me.”

  “I never said I could, but I sure as hell can help you through all of this.”

  “No, you can’t. I need to deal with all of this myself. I need you to stop worrying about me and let me deal with this in my way, in my time.”

  “How am I going to do that, when I walk in to this?” Leo asked as he swept his arm to indicate the smashed hutch.

  Elizabeth cringed as she looked at the mess she had created and seeing, where it might be construed what she had done as being wrong. She hugged her upper body and smiled in satisfaction as she remembered the pleasure of smashing that damn hutch which held her as a prisoner while she watched her mother fight for her life. She could still feel the weight of the sledgehammer as it came down on the wood, the impact sending shock waves up her arms. “It felt damn good, though.” Elizabeth said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  Leo stepped closer, “What did you say?”

  “I said it felt damn good.” She said in anger, furious that he would question her sanity. “Besides, what gives you the right to come in here and question me on what I do and don’t do?”

  “I’m not questioning you.”

  “Well, it sure feels like it.” Elizabeth said as she stepped around and away from Leo.

  “I’m just worried about you. I’m worried about you staying in this house. Where so much horror happened.”

  “I’m not leaving this house, if that is what you are getting at. My mother and I loved this place and I refuse to let that monster drive me from it.” Elizabeth replied as turned back to Leo, her anger tipping at the edge of her conscious. “I will get back what he took.”

  “Then let me stay here and help you.”

  “I don’t need your help. Besides, I still haven’t totally forgiven you yet; for keeping so much from me.” Elizabeth said, as she lifted her hand to pause Leo as she saw him step closer, his mouth opened to reply. “I know what you’re going to say, and I don’t want to hear it. What I need right now is to be left alone.”

  “Like hell you do.” Leo said as he stepped up to her, gripping her upper arms, pinning them to her body so she couldn’t step away.

  Elizabeth looked coldly down at his hands on her arms, her eyes only looked back up when he released them. “Don’t ever do that again.” She said through gritted teeth.

  “I’m sorry Elizabeth.” He said with sincerity. “Your just so damn stubborn, you can’t see what you need.”

  “Ok, smart ass what do I need?” Elizabeth asked in anger. “Because manhandling me is definitely not what I need.”

  “You need me. You need this.” Leo said as he pulled her body up, his lips hard and unforgiving as Elizabeth bowed her body back attempting to move her mouth away from his as her desire for him rose despite her anger as she remembered his hard body against her. Anger and desire mingled, which created a fog of emotions in her as her lips opened on their own accord. His grip on her softened as his fingers started to caress her arms instead, his mouth slanted across hers as he deepened the kiss. Elizabeth moaned in frustration, in pleasure, as she felt her body ache for more than the limited contact he was allowing, thrusting her body forward to feel more of him again
st her.

  She sighed in satisfaction when she felt his warm calloused hands skim her back, butterflies fluttering through her stomach in anticipation. Her only thought was to feel his warm flesh against hers. Elizabeth lifted her hands between their bodies to unbutton Leo’s shirt. Frustrated, when she can’t get the buttons undone fast enough, she ripped down, the sound of buttons striking the floor sending a chuckle through Leo. His lips left hers for only a moment as he lifted the hem of her shirt over her head, pulling her body flush against his. Her breasts crushed against his chest, her sensitive nipples aching for more.

  Elizabeth groaned in desire as she felt Leo’s hands caress her buttocks, lifting her legs around his waist as his fingers grazed her intimately through her jeans. His arousal was hard against her inner thighs, the sensation overpowering, as she dropped her head back. Leo’s lips warm and moist against her neck, her pulse erratic as his tongue flicked the pulse there. Shock waves of pleasure coursed through her as an incredible ache settled low, so Elizabeth thrust herself against Leo. She grew more frustrated as the seconds ticked by, Leo’s short hair soft in her hand as she pulled his head back to stop him for just a moment, her senses flying out of control. She craved for him to be hard and inside her.

  She dropped her legs from his waist to reach between them; she smiled when his deep emerald eyes watched her and her hand stroked his bulge before she slowly released the snaps on his jeans. A deep vibrating moan left Leo as he brushed her hands aside, Elizabeth smiling in satisfaction as she stepped back, her eyes greedy as they soaked him in, quickly slipping her own jeans down. Smiling, she looked back up to see Leo’s eyes, full of desire.

  She laughed as she pushed him back onto the sofa; her eyes skimming him as she move forward slyly, teasingly. Her legs straddled his as she leaned forward to brush his lips, his body brushing her intimately, a shudder coursing through her as she let her body settle over him; followed by a sliver of fear that ran down her spine for a brief moment before it was just as quickly gone when he deepened the kiss further, their lips, tongues, and breath matching the rhythm of their bodies.

  They never saw the figure outside the window step away from the Weeping Willow, his hands in his pocket, a slight limp to his walk, as he walked away from the house. A whistle filled the air as he walked back into the tall weeds along the property line.

  He knew he would get his revenge, but for now it could wait. All good things come to those who could wait. He had what he needed for now… besides, he had another project he had to start on. Although for this project, he knew that he would have to be extremely cautious and patient ,but in the end, it would be well worth it.

  Yes, all good things come to those who could wait.

  Acknowledgement

  There are many individuals who helped me along this bumpy journey that I would like to thank. First of all, I want to thank Stephanie for editing my book in its infancy stage. When I was unsure if I had brought any of my fictional characters to life, thank you for letting me know it was a good story and to keep moving forward.Secondly, I want to thank Betty for taking my clumsy sentence structure and cleaning it up to a more readable format.

  I want to thank Betsy, Melanie, Dani, Jennifer, Tammy, Tina, Jen, Lori (RIP), Kym, and Allyson for all your encouragement during my many doubts. You all are the best.

  But the most important person to thank is my wonderful husband and friend Dino, who gave me the courage to dust off my book I wrote years prior to meeting him. For all his love and encouragement during this very long turbulent journey, he gave me the boost of courage to follow my dream.

  Thank you my love, you are the best. I love you more than I can ever express verbally or written. You make my soul soar in this crazy world.