Addicted to You

by Renita Pizzitola

  Then Dad’s phone chimed with a text. He made a disgusted grunt of annoyance and I glanced at him. He yelled at me to keep my eyes on the road. Startled, I jerked my head up, overcorrected, and lost control of the car. I quickly regained it, but it was too late. I’d driven us off the road and into a ditch. Everyone was fine, even the car. But it didn’t matter because then everything just…exploded.

  Dad started screaming. He never should’ve let me drive. Mom began yelling. It was an accident. Luis shouted. Always had to get my way. And I cried. The barrage of anger surrounded me and I just broke down. Which made Dad even more furious for some reason. Then suddenly Mom shouted over everyone those four final words. I want a divorce.

  The car went silent. Dad never looked back at Mom. Instead he slowly turned to me, shook his head, then faced forward. And I’ll never forget the way his voice sounded like ice as he muttered, “This is all your fault.”

  That was the last thing anyone said that night.

  And I never argued it. Accepted it for what it was. If I hadn’t been so stubborn about driving, things would have played out differently. They may have still divorced eventually, but it wouldn’t have gotten so ugly. In a matter of moments, the final threads of what had once been a family snapped. Everyone shut down and I’d been shut out.

  As soon as the divorce was final, Mom bailed. She claimed Dad could better care for me financially and she left with hardly a word. But Dad quickly reminded me that he traveled for work too much to properly care for anyone. And I got the hint. Luis was off to college, leaving me to fend for myself. So I claimed I’d like to finish high school with my friends and, like the angel she was, Grandma swooped in and took me under her wing.

  Chapter 17

  Though I’d expected to pass out from exhaustion, I ended up lying in bed, tossing and turning. My phone chimed and I glanced at the time. It wasn’t even eleven yet, but I still had no idea who’d be messaging me this late.

  Landon: Impromptu bonfire at the beach. I’ll pick you up.

  I wasn’t dressed or even close to being ready, but a part of me kind of wanted something to take my mind off of everything.

  Me: Not dressed though.

  Landon: Then hurry! Be there in ten.

  I smiled at my phone. Leave it to him to not give me the opportunity to say no.

  Me: Okay. I’ll be ready.

  I dressed in record time, left a note for Grandma on the off chance she woke up, then waited for his truck to pull in. As I approached the passenger side, I was surprised not to see Colby. Even though Landon had texted, I’d just assumed they were still together.

  “Hey.” He smiled as I slid in. “Glad you decided to come.”

  I buckled. “Didn’t know I had an option.”

  He laughed. “Aw, wouldn’t want you to miss out on the fun.”

  “Neither would I. And I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

  “Were you in bed?”

  “Yeah, but wide awake.”

  “Now I feel bad!”

  I laughed. “Don’t. I really couldn’t sleep. This is much better than tossing and turning.”

  “Everything okay with Luis?”

  “I haven’t heard from him since we left. He’s not sleeping at Grandma’s tonight. I doubt I’ll even see him in the morning.” I shrugged. “I’m guessing that was the last I’ll see of him for a very long time.”

  “Probably for the best.”

  “What’s the deal? With him and Colby? I know you know something.”

  He glanced at me then stared at the road. “That’s a conversation you should have with Colby.”

  “But he won’t tell me.”

  “Never know. Just ask.” He turned into the beach entrance.

  “I know he won’t.”

  He parked next to a jeep. “If he doesn’t, it’s only because he feels like he’s protecting you. He’s not lying or avoiding anything.”

  “Protecting me?” I jumped out of his truck and met him at the tailgate where he was pulling out two beers from a cooler. “From what?”

  He handed me one. “The truth?”

  “About?”

  He sighed. “Man, Isla, I’m not trying to be a dick, and really I’d love to tell you anything you wanted to know, but it’s just not mine to tell.”

  We’d made our way down the trail to where people had gathered around a bonfire. It was wrong to pit Landon against Colby if he felt that strongly about it. So I nodded. “It’s okay. I understand.”

  “Landon, hey man.”

  We both turned and saw wannabe rock star Gabe approach.

  “And Isla. Long time no see.”

  “Hi Gabe.”

  “Hey, didn’t know you were in town,” Landon said.

  “Just visiting a friend and thought we’d stop by. I’m glad I ran into you though. I’d love to see if we could work out another gig at Jack’s sometime soon.”

  “Hell yeah. We’d love to have you again. It was a great turnout last time. I’ll see what we can work out.”

  “Sounds good.” Gabe looked at me then back at Landon. “So you two. You’re together now?”

  I almost choked on my beer. “No. We’re friends.”

  Landon laughed at my quick answer. “Just friends.”

  “Oh, okay. I was gonna ask how your brother felt about you snagging his girl but if you’re only friends, then—”

  “My brother? His girl?” Landon looked at me then back at Gabe. “You lost me.”

  My face grew warmer. “Colby and I are just friends too.”

  “Oh, shit. Seriously? But you were together that night at Jack’s, right?”

  “No.”

  “But I could’ve sworn, you know, since he got all…” Gabe looked at Landon, then back at me. “Hell, what do I know? I was drunk then and I’m probably drunk now.” He laughed. “I’m going to find my friends, but you two have fun tonight. And, uh, give me call, Landon. Let’s set something up soon.”

  “Sure, man. Sounds good.” As Gabe walked away, Landon watched, his eyebrows slightly bunched and his expression thoughtful. He looked at me and opened his mouth, then slowly shut it. He stared at his drink, then finally looked up. “Am I missing something?”

  “I don’t know. What do you mean?” Being asked point-blank didn’t work well for me. It made me antsy, eager to talk, spill everything I knew. Not that I even had it all figured out, but if he asked enough questions, it would all come out. I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger to keep one hand busy while the other gripped my beer. Everyone always told me my hands did half the talking. So I knew I had to keep my answers calm and hands down.

  “Isla?”

  I stared at him. After all, my name was not a question, regardless of him making it sound like one.

  “You and Colby.”

  That definitely wasn’t a question. Nope. He’d found his answer.

  “There isn’t a ‘me and Colby.’ ” And that was the truth. “We’re only friends.”

  He shook his head, a half smile tugging at his mouth. “C’mon.” He led me to where some of the guys were sitting on logs turned benches.

  I glanced around the crowd but didn’t see Colby anywhere. I’d expected to at least see him here. And now I couldn’t ask Landon about it because that would basically be a confirmation of his suspicions. Not to mention that if he’d intended this to be a night for just the two of us, it’d really be crappy to bring it up.

  As the guys talked, I could feel Landon staring at me. The more he did, the more self-conscious I became.

  “What?” I finally blurted.

  “How did I miss this?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He lifted an eyebrow as if to call my bluff. He was back on the Colby conversation.

  “Walk with me?”

  “Sure.” I stood and followed him around the crowd.

  We made our way to the shoreline and he finally asked, “You like each other?”

  I sighed, so not wanting t
o have this conversation. “Colby doesn’t like me as more than a friend.”

  He raised an eyebrow as if to challenge my comment. “He’s told you that?”

  “Well, no, but I just know he doesn’t.”

  “How?”

  How did I casually tell Landon Colby was pushing me to him? “Well, he’s suggested I date other people.”

  He smirked and shook his head. “I should’ve known. I mean it was right there, but leave it to Colby to put someone else first, regardless of how he feels. Hell, that in itself should’ve been the giveaway right there.”

  “You lost me. But really, let’s not have this conversation.”

  He grinned. “I’ll drop it if you answer one more question.”

  I huffed. “Which is?”

  “How do you feel about Colby?”

  I stared at my feet, sinking into the sand, as if they were the only thing grounding me in reality. Because really, was this conversation seriously happening? “I don’t know.”

  “Come on, Isla. Between you and me. You like him?”

  I snorted. Like him? “Understatement.” Oh god, did I say that last part out loud?

  “Do you love him?”

  My gaze shot up and I stared at Landon, but instead of judgment or amusement, I found his expression serious yet compassionate.

  Tears pricked my eyes though I had no idea why.

  “Hey, I won’t tell anyone. It’s okay.” He reached out and wiped the corner of one eye. “How long?”

  The corner of my mouth quivered and I clamped it with my teeth, and shrugged.

  He smiled. “He’s a lucky guy.”

  “He doesn’t love me back.”

  Admitting that aloud made my heart hurt. I’d kept all these stupid emotions bottled up for so long, all it took were the right questions asked by the right person and the truth shattered free. It had been easier to love Colby with the hope that one day he’d love me back. But loving him and knowing I’d never be that person to him—well, it wrecked me.

  “Impossible.” Landon offered the sweetest of smiles. “I think Colby is just a little confused right now. Stuck in the middle. And it’s kind of my fault.”

  In the middle. Exactly what Taylor had said. And a part of me could believe that, but the problem was that when it came to my feelings for Colby there was no middle. It was hard for me to understand. Granted my relationship with my brother was nonexistent. But Landon would never hate Colby for loving me. It wasn’t like either of us was trying to hurt anyone else. If Colby could let another guy have me, clearly his feelings weren’t what mine were.

  “I’m not sure. I mean, he might be confused but, I don’t know, I just think if he loved me, like really loved me, I’d know because when it comes down to it, love’s not really a choice.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted and he nodded. “You’re absolutely right. But you know, maybe he loves two people—in two very different ways, of course—and he doesn’t want to hurt either one. So he does what he thinks is best for both of them.”

  “He’s what’s best for me,” I whispered.

  “You’re absolutely right. So let’s help him figure that out.”

  My head shot up. “You said you wouldn’t say anything to him.”

  “And I won’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t help him see things a little clearer.”

  “I don’t know, Landon. I mean, what if we’re totally wrong here? Guys don’t always invest the same emotions into their actions as girls do. What if I really am nothing more than a drunken, meaningless hookup?”

  His eyes widened.

  “Oh shit.” I buried my face in my hands, took a deep breath, then peeked between my fingers to gauge his reaction.

  “He’s my brother and my roommate. I know for a fact he doesn’t ‘hook up’ with girls.” He pulled my hands down but kept them wrapped in his. “And you of all people could never be meaningless. You have to know that.

  “Come on. We came here to have fun. And I’m doing nothing but dragging you down.” As we made our way back toward the bonfire he added, “I’m really glad we talked tonight. I feel like an idiot for missing a whole lot of obvious but, you know, I think everything’s going to be okay.”

  I nodded. “I’ll be okay. That’s for sure.”

  “So tough for such a tiny thing. But you know what? You’re not just going to be okay, you’re going to be happy. I guarantee it.”

  “Um, I hope you aren’t planning on doing or saying anything that will embarrass me later.”

  “Nah. I’ll probably just embarrass myself.” He laughed.

  By the time I got home, I knew I’d have no trouble going straight to sleep. I’d been on an emotional roller coaster today, but it was nice to clear things up with Landon. Though he never directly admitted having feelings for me, it was clear that mine were directed toward someone else. It was one less piece to stress about.

  —

  It felt as if my head had just hit the pillow when I woke up to my phone chiming.

  Sunlight streamed into my room and I realized it was morning. I grabbed my phone and read the message on the screen.

  Felicity: How did the party go?

  As I began to type a reply, I heard voices coming from the living room. And it didn’t take long to distinguish them. Grandma and Luis.

  While it would be nice to pretend I slept through his entire visit, I didn’t really care for him to accuse me of being lazy, since nobody knew my late night was the reason I’d slept in. With a good deal of reluctance, I forced myself up and to the bathroom to make myself slightly more presentable.

  A part of me hoped Luis would be gone before I finished, but there he was, sitting at our kitchen table, drinking coffee and eating Grandma’s empanadas.

  “Good morning.” She was all smiles as I entered. He was not.

  “Morning.” I passed right by him and into the kitchen for my own cup of coffee. Every step of the way, I hoped he’d announce his departure, but he looked more than comfortable.

  He was talking about his job like he was some kind of messiah sent to restore humanity. So I ever-so-sweetly asked, “Do they still have you on tech support? Or did you finally get that promotion to sales?” If he thought Grandma didn’t keep me in the loop, he was wrong.

  “Actually, I’m the supervisor of support operations.”

  “Fancy.” I bit into my empanada.

  He eyes narrowed on me. “And how’s community college?”

  “Wonderful. I’ve learned a lot and look forward to starting nursing school in a few weeks.”

  “Isla got early acceptance,” Grandma boasted.

  “Hmm” was all he could muster in response.

  We made more forced small talk, until finally he said he had to get home.

  Grandma offered to pack him some food to take home, which he eagerly agreed to. And no sooner had she stepped into the kitchen when he turned to me.

  “I didn’t know you were still friends with Colby.” His lips turned up like the mere thought soured his stomach. “You know whatever he told you is a lie. That entire family is nothing but no-good liars out to make money.”

  I glared at him. “I don’t know or care what you have against the Callahans, but I can assure you they are not liars and they are very good people.”

  His eyebrow raised. “He really hasn’t told you.” It wasn’t a question but more of a statement of surprise.

  “Told me what?” I leaned back in my chair and crossed my arms, hoping for indifference but now more than ever dying to know what the deal was with them.

  He studied me, then finally shrugged. “Guess even he’s tired of spreading his unsubstantiated lies.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.”

  Grandma walked back in then with a bag of food for Luis and I was glad since that served as his cue to leave.

  “This should last you a while.”

  “Thank you, Grandma.” He stood, took the bag, then gave her a hug. “I’ll be sure to tell
Dad that you enjoyed the party he threw you.”

  I clamped my mouth shut, rolling my lips together to avoid blurting that the party was as cold and unwelcoming as the two of them.

  When he finally left, my shoulders relaxed. His presence made me ridiculously tense.

  When I turned to Grandma, I realized she’d been watching me, so I smiled. “I have to be at Eddie’s soon. I’m going to change.” As I made my way down the hall, I asked, “Isn’t tonight Bunco?”

  “Yes, and it’s my turn to host.”

  “Okay. I’ll probably be home late anyway.”

  “You’re always welcome to join us.”

  I laughed. “Um, maybe next time.”

  Chapter 18

  That afternoon, I was rolling silverware at Eddie’s when Colby walked in with his dad.

  “Hey, y’all here for lunch?”

  Mr. Callahan nodded. “We were doing some maintenance on the boat and thought we’d stop in for a quick bite.”

  Ah, so that explained why Colby hadn’t been out last night. He probably had an early day with his dad scheduled. I grabbed two menus, then motioned for them to follow. “I’m glad the weather cooperated. Looks like it might rain later.”

  “Seems like it might.” His dad nodded. “Sorry we missed your grandma’s party. I hear it was really nice.”

  I glanced at Colby, knowing if that information came from him, he was just being polite.

  “What can I get you to drink?”

  They both ordered iced tea as they flipped open their menus.

  “Great. I’ll go grab those.” I was in the process of putting ice in their cups when Colby came up behind me.

  “Hey.”

  I turned around. “Hey.”

  “I didn’t mention to Dad that Luis was in town. Maybe we can leave that out?”

  “Um, okay.” I waited for more of an explanation.

  “So Landon said you two went to the bonfire last night.”

  I hadn’t expected Landon to keep it secret, but I really wasn’t expecting for Colby to question it either. “We did.” I turned back to the cups and filled each with tea. “Missed you though. Figured you would be there.”

  “Dad wanted me up at four.”

  “That’s crazy early.”