Addicted to You

by Renita Pizzitola

He grinned. “Yeah, it is. Did you, um, have fun?”

  “It was okay.”

  “Oh, well maybe I’ll make it to the next one.” He lifted his ball cap and ran his hand over his hair before mashing it back down under his hat. He looked exhausted, considering it was barely lunchtime. I really felt bad for him. “Guess I should get back to Dad.”

  “Hey Colby,” I called as he walked away. “You obviously don’t have to tell me now, and I will understand if you decide to never tell, but I’d really like to know what’s going on between you and Luis.”

  He looked away, then back at me. “Isla, no offense, but your brother just really isn’t a good person. There’s not much more to say than that.”

  I offered a half smile. “No, he’s really not. But do I really have room to judge considering I’m the one to blame for everything?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know. The divorce. Them moving away. All that. It’s because of me. And I’m not making excuses for him, but I think part of the reason he’s the way he is is because he harbors a lot of resentment over how I, you know, ruined the family.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Who told you that?”

  “Luis.” I laughed humorlessly. “He’d never let me forget it.”

  “That son of a…” he muttered. “We need to talk.”

  “You and Luis? I don’t think that’s a good—”

  “No. We. As in you and me.”

  “Oh, okay.” I glanced at the table where his dad sat patiently awaiting his drink.

  “Not now. After your shift. What time do you get off?”

  “Eight.”

  “Can you come by my place?”

  I grabbed the glasses and walked with him back to his table. “Sure.”

  “Sorry for the wait.” I apologized to Mr. Callahan.

  “No worries, Isla. I saw Colby and you talking.” He closed his menu and stirred his tea.

  “Okay, well, I’ll send your server over to get your order. Let me know if there’s anything else I can get you.”

  I walked away with a smile that fell as soon as I got back to the hostess stand. Was Colby finally going to tell me about Luis? That had to be it. Unless it had something to do with the bonfire last night. But Landon wouldn’t have said anything that quickly, would he? It’s not like he would’ve been up at four in the morning.

  The rest of my shift alternately dragged and flew by. Sometimes I’d glance at the clock and be shocked to discover an hour had passed, whereas at other times, I’d be disappointed to find only three minutes had.

  When my day finally wound down to the last hour of my shift, I rushed through my closing duties. No way would I lose the opportunity to talk with Colby because my shift ran late.

  About ten until eight, I’d finished everything assigned to me and leaned into Eddie’s office. “Hey, just finished up. Need anything else?” It was a gamble because if he said no, I could slip out a few minutes early. If he said yes, I could be stuck here ten minutes more.

  “Nope, looks like we’re all good. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

  “Thanks, Eddie. See you tomorrow.”

  I made my way to my car, and shot a quick text to Colby letting him know I was on my way. His place was a ten-minute drive from Eddie’s so hopefully he’d see it before I got there.

  When I pulled in front of the house, I noticed that Landon’s car wasn’t there, which probably meant he was working.

  I knocked on the door and it swung open. Colby’s hair was damp and his T-shirt clung to his body like he’d slipped it on before having a chance to fully dry off.

  “Hey, sorry. Dad had me working late, then Mom wanted me to stay for dinner.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve come by tomorrow.”

  “No, it’s good. I’m just sorry I didn’t have a chance to straighten up.”

  Their place was far from messy, but there was a blanket thrown over one couch, shoes in a corner, and a few dishes on the table.

  Colby shrugged. “Landon.” Like that explained everything.

  I laughed. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen it worse, remember?”

  He smiled. “That party was a nightmare to clean up after.”

  “It really was.”

  He motioned for me to sit down. “Want anything to drink?” he asked as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bottled water.

  “I’m good.”

  He came back to the living room and plopped onto the couch.

  “Dad work you hard?”

  “You have no idea.” He shook his head. “Winterizing everything. And man. Just a lot of work for two guys.”

  “I bet. So are you looking forward to charter season next year?”

  He shrugged. “Yeah.”

  While he said yes, his body language said maybe not. I waited to see if he’d offer more, then finally said, “At least you have a nice break before the season picks up again.”

  “True.” He chugged half of his water, and leaned back.

  I didn’t exactly know how to redirect the conversation to my reason for being here, especially because I wasn’t even sure why I was. So I sat back and glanced around the room.

  Colby cleared his throat. “Has Luis left?”

  “This morning.”

  “Good.”

  I studied his expression trying to remember if I’d ever seen so much animosity on his face.

  “So, I just, well, I’m not sure how to go about this or even if I should, but I do want to clear up one thing.” He ran his hand through his damp hair, causing it to stick up a little on one side. Then he smoothed it down. “You said everything is your fault and that’s a blatant lie.”

  “Colby—” I chewed my lip, then said, “It’s sweet of you to think that but, well, you weren’t in the car with us that day. It really is. I won’t take all the blame, because my parents fought all the time anyway, but the whole accident was like the catalyst to the divorce, the rumors, everything.”

  “Your accident? You think that’s what caused it?”

  “I mean, not solely, but yeah. It kind of dominoed from there. I know that’s why Luis and my dad blame me.”

  “Isla…” He rubbed his hand down his jaw this time. “I don’t know how to say this, but your family moved to protect your brother and their image. Or at least that’s why your dad did.”

  “Luis left for college. My parents divorced and wanted far away from one another.”

  He shook his head. “That may be partially true, but that’s not really what was going on, and I know that for a fact because it involved me.”

  I stared at him, trying to piece together what he could be referring to, but also curious as to how he could have kept something from me all these years if it involved him and my family. “Um, I think the best thing is maybe for you to just to tell me everything. Like from the beginning.”

  “You may not like it.”

  “Colby. Tell me.”

  He took a deep breath, then nodded. “One night, back when we were in high school, and before your parents divorced, there’d been a get-together at my house. Landon had invited people over when my parents were out of town, and Luis was one of them. Well, I’d been sleeping and got up to use the restroom and sort of stumbled upon Luis”—he sighed—“forcing himself on a girl.”

  My hands went cold and my stomach knotted. “What do you mean? Like rape?”

  “I honestly can’t be sure how far it got. I mean, I know what it looked like to me, but she didn’t tell anyone right away and it just became a he said/she said battle and—well, that’s one thing I’ll always regret. I felt like I’d done her an injustice. You think you see something and then the questions start and suddenly you’re second-guessing yourself. And, hell, I was only fifteen. For a long time, I wished I’d walked in a few minutes before to stop all of it from ever even happening, but these days I know what’s done is done and I wish I’d stepped in there a few minutes later to be sure he got what was coming to him.”


  “So, what…what happened?”

  “Well, the girl was upset and crying, and he claimed it was because I’d embarrassed her, but there was no doubt in my mind she was scared and he was hurting her in some way. Honestly, I don’t think he would have stopped had I not walked in.

  “The girl left and Luis told me to keep my mouth shut because I sounded like a stupid kid. I know I should’ve done more that night, but I didn’t know. I was too young to understand, I guess. I figured she’d go to the cops or something. I was completely ignorant. But days passed with nothing. And I started to doubt myself. Maybe I hadn’t seen things right.

  “Then about a month later, it all happened so fast. Suddenly, I was being questioned as a witness. He was being charged with attempted sexual assault. She’d finally confided in someone.

  “Luis came to me first, trying to convince me to defend him, to tell everyone the girl had made it all up, but I refused to lie. So your dad came to me next, told me I’d destroy your family if this went public. That was a hard one for me. But I couldn’t just forget what I saw. If I was questioned, I’d be honest. It was all I could do.”

  I shook my head. The knot in my stomach now creeping up my throat. “How did I not know about this? Any of it.”

  “Well, after they failed to silence me, they went to the source. The girl and her family. Eventually they settled out of court, and she agreed not to press charges. For a large sum of money, she would never have to be ‘embarrassed in a trial’…your dad’s words. Like he was doing her family a favor.” He scoffed and shook his head. “They were protecting their image, and Luis, who thanks to money and influence, walked away without so much as a slap on the wrist.”

  “This is awful. Horrible. I can’t believe my family would…I mean I knew they weren’t the best people…but this, this is horrific. This is disgusting and low and I don’t even want to be associated with people like that.” I pressed my hand to my stomach, wishing I hadn’t eaten so late, considering my dinner was thinking about making a reappearance.

  “You’re nothing like that.” He moved from where he sat and put his arm around me. “I never told you any of this for this very reason. I’ve never cared about protecting your piece-of-shit brother, but I’ve always cared about protecting you.”

  “It’s just not right. No punishment? No remorse? Like you said, not even a slap on the wrist.”

  “Hey, that doesn’t mean he didn’t get a punch to the jaw.” His mouth twitched up like he wanted to smile.

  “You didn’t?” I asked with a grin.

  He shrugged, his expression going grim again. “From the time it happened to the time her family settled was almost a year. For months, I’d watched him walk around like nothing could touch him, and the whole time I kept thinking he’d get what he deserved. And then he didn’t. It was hard—it made me mad, and I was forced to accept it wasn’t my decision. But what really got me was after it was all said and done, he had the audacity to look me square in the eyes and say, ‘It’s not like I forced her into that bathroom,’ and I just lost it.

  “Thankfully Landon was around to defuse the situation. Or I would have ended up with a few charges of my own.”

  When I thought the story couldn’t get any more vile…“So through all of this Landon and Luis stayed friends?”

  “Luis thought so. He seemed to think Landon had been in the dark the whole time, and Landon never cared to clear it up either. To him, it was a ‘keep your enemies closer’ kind of thing. We were all grateful when Luis finally left town. Your dad too.” He turned to me, his eyes wide. “No offense. I know they are your family.”

  “Not anymore. They barely treat me like a member of it anyway, and it’s pointless to even try anymore. They don’t deserve my respect. And here I’d always thought I’d wanted theirs.” I threw my head back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “That poor girl. Do I know her? Like does she have to see me around town and think about how horrible my family is? And assume I’m just like them?”

  He pulled me against his chest. “She was here on vacation. Doesn’t live around here and probably never wants to come back. Her name was Annabeth. That’s all I know about her.”

  “Do your parents hate me?”

  “Not at all. They know you don’t know. And I’ve asked everyone to keep it that way. The matter has always been kept extremely private. And as far as I’m concerned, it was out of respect for you and that girl, never for him.”

  I rested my hand against his T-shirt, loving the feel of worn cotton under my palm. It was comforting, like Colby. I’d always feel safe with him. “I hate my brother.”

  “He’s not worth your time.”

  “He’s made me feel small and worthless. Childish. Hotheaded. You name it, he’s done it. And all along it was him.”

  “You’re better than all of them, Isla. I never wanted to tell you this about your family, but now I realize I should’ve done it sooner.”

  “It’s okay.” I traced the letters across his shirt with my nail. “You were protecting me. I’m not mad about that.”

  “Anything for you, Isla.”

  I lifted my head and stared into his eyes. How could I not love this guy? It may have started young with nothing more than an infatuation, but look how far we’d come.

  “Colby?”

  “Yeah.”

  The front door clicked as it was unlocked and I reluctantly pulled away, knowing that was protocol. Landon walked in, Colby got far away from me. It was probably for the best considering the words I love you had been resting on the tip of my tongue.

  But to my surprise, Colby didn’t bolt from the couch, or scoot as far away as possible. He stayed right where he was, pressed thigh to thigh with me.

  Landon walked in and smiled. “Hey Isla, saw your car”—he paused as he took in the scene laid out before him, then headed into the kitchen—“outside. Did y’all already eat? I’m starving.”

  “Mom sent you some food. It’s in the fridge.”

  “Cool. I’m going to hit the shower first,” he said as he walked past the dining table then disappeared down the hall.

  “I guess I should go. You’ve had a long day and I have to work in the morning.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Colby looked away then back at me. “How about a going-away party? Can I throw you one?”

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

  “I want to.”

  I smiled. “If you want. Nothing big.”

  “Okay.” He smiled back. “It’ll be fun. Let me know what your work schedule looks like and I’ll check with Landon.”

  “Sounds good.” I stood and he followed me to the door.

  “It’s not going to be the same without you around, you know?”

  “I try not to think about how much I’ll miss Port Lucia.” I stepped out the door and added, “or you.”

  “I, uh, I hope you have a good night. I’m sorry to unload everything on you. I’m here if you need to talk.”

  “One more question.”

  “Sure.”

  “Did my car accident happen before or after it was settled?”

  “It happened the same week.”

  I stared up at the sky, wishing the clouds weren’t hiding the stars. I could’ve used a little beauty right then.

  “I think that was Mom’s breaking point. Honestly surprised she didn’t shatter sooner.”

  “Still not your fault, Isla.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. Guess it’s just going to take some time for that to really sink in.”

  “It’s a lot to take in.”

  “Thank you though. I’m glad you told me.” I forced a smile. “Good night, Colby.”

  “I’m always here.”

  —

  As I was getting into pajamas that night my phone buzzed with a message. I glanced at the screen, then lifted my phone when I saw the name.

  Landon: You know he loves you, right?

  I half smiled, amused by Landon’s determination not to l
et this go.

  Me: Nope. I don’t.

  Landon: I saw it. On the couch.

  Me: Oh, that’s not what that was. We’d just had a moment. He told me about Luis.

  Landon: I’m sorry. You okay?

  Me: Been better.

  Landon: I bet.

  Landon: But he does love you.

  Me: I don’t know about that.

  Landon: You’ll see.

  All I could do was laugh and shake my head.

  Me: Good night, Landon.

  Landon: Night!

  I set my phone down with a smile. Though I wasn’t sure if love was an accurate description of his feelings, something had changed between Colby and me. From the kiss at Grandma’s party to the way he looked at me tonight, something more was there. And for once, this didn’t just feel like wishful thinking.

  Chapter 19

  The two weeks leading up to my going-away party flew by. Work had me scheduled almost every day, and my off times were spent studying. I’d hardly seen Colby, but he’d send me an occasional text checking in or making plans for the party.

  But finally the big day arrived, which also meant my moving away was imminent. It was bittersweet. I had ten days of school left before finals. Then it was the holidays and move-out day. It was all coming on fast. Too fast.

  I pulled my hair into a ponytail, then slipped on my tennis shoes, and headed out to see if Grandma needed help in the kitchen. Though she wasn’t attending my party, she’d wanted to make some food for me to take. Neither Colby nor Landon would turn down that offer.

  She stood in the kitchen, staring at her phone like it was a foreign object or possessed, or maybe both. God, I would miss her.

  “Problems?” I reached into the cabinet and pulled down a glass.

  “This thing keeps pinging at me and I don’t know why.”

  I hid my grin as I filled my glass with water.

  “I still don’t know why I need this thing.”

  “Just in case, Grandma. Like if your car breaks down or you need help. Or maybe just so I can say hi when I move away.”

  She nodded. “I know, but does it need to be so fancy?”

  “It’s not even the newest model.” I laughed. “Maybe it’s a notification. Let me check it.”