Wishes to Burn

by Ellabee Andrews

  “Well, this is unexpected.”

  “What the hell is that?”

  Stunned, we pause as the stray thoughts pass through our minds, our bodies dropping a few feet in the air as we forget to beat our wings, and I realize Gavril heard the thoughts, too. Seeing his face full of questions at having Satine and Declan in his head, he gently pulls out of me, never releasing my hand, and begins to fly back toward the clearing with our clothes.

  Body still luxuriating in aftershocks of pleasure, but mind a nervous wreck, I reluctantly fly behind him, dreading the conversation to come, and only spare a few glances for the dimples above that perfect ass.

  Double Jointed Boy-Toy

  My heart pounds heavily in my chest, the feeling similar to how it had beat when I was in the air with Gavril, but for a completely different reason this time. I had been holding onto this secret for months now, and now that I finally have to share it, my palms grow slick with sweat as my stomach tightens with nerves. Looking back over at my friends, as they sit watching me, I know there’s no getting out of this talk.

  “I know you all must have questions, but if you’ll allow me a chance to explain first, I might be able to answer some of them. Is that okay?” I ask as I pace the floor in front of them, hair still wet from my shower. I told them I needed one when I got back to the house and discovered everyone awake and waiting for an explanation. It was true, but it was also a way to buy myself some time as I worked out what to say to them all.

  “Just start at the beginning please,” Satine says, and I notice how much better she looks, her normal glow back in her skin and her hair shiny. Catching me looking at her, she lifts her shoulders as if to say she doesn’t understand it either, and I resume my pacing when no one else interrupts.

  “After the Winter Formal, I went to Fifi for help because I noticed a small difference in myself. Namely, that I would occasionally pick up one of your thoughts. It wasn’t all the time, and it definitely wasn’t intentional, but since then, she’s been helping me learn how to shield my mind so it doesn’t happen.” I pause there, looking at each of them to ensure they’re still with me, but when Gavril nods his head gently for me to keep going, I continue on.

  “Anyway, with her help, I was able to get some control of it, and as long as I focus, I can block out anything I’m not supposed to hear. Tonight, though… well, I’m not really sure how to explain that. I’d need to speak with Fifi to—”

  “Please don’t say you’re going to speak to Fifi first, Rhia. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we’d like to be the ones you discuss this with. Since it includes us,” Declan interrupts, and as I look for anyone to back me up, I realize no help is coming. They don’t look mad per se, but they’re not leaping with joy either, and it hits me how unfair it was to keep this all from them.

  "Okay, you're right. I should have brought this up sooner, but I honestly didn't know how. I was worried you would think I was doing it on purpose when that's the last thing I'd ever do. And since Fifi was able to teach me how to block it out, I didn't think it would be a problem. I can see now that I was wrong, despite my intentions only being to protect you all. So I'm sorry."

  Silence reigns while I wait for them to respond, to either accept my apologies or turn me away, and I hold my breath as I do. I’m surprised it’s Maksim that breaks first, as he’s normally content to hang back and let the others do the talking, but when he clears his throat, I turn and study his handsome face.

  "It would have been nice to know this from the start so that we could've been there for you and helped you through this. Maybe even found a way to keep our thoughts from crossing over to you in the first place, but that's in the past. What we need to talk about now, is how me and the others found ourselves in your head… uh… experiencing your happiness with you," he finishes, looking uncomfortable, and my jaw drops at the news. I'd known that they were aware of what we had done, but to have felt it? That's something else entirely.

  Gavril jumps from his seat and stares down at Maksim. “You mean, you felt us having sex?” His cheeks are flushed, eyes wide, and I look away. Knowing what I do now, I’m unable to meet any of their gazes.

  Picking up on my discomfort, Satine rises and makes her way over, taking my hand in hers. “We didn’t feel the whole thing, Rhia. Just the last part. You know, when he made a deposit into your cave of wonders.”

  Face flushing hotly, I ignore Gavril's scoff and turn my back to them, more humiliated than I've ever been in my life and fighting to keep my tears at bay. A warm touch to my back ends that fight, and as Maksim pulls me into a hug, the salty bastards finally fall and run down my cheeks.

  “Don’t be embarrassed, Rhia. It was a shock, but, there are worse things to wake up to,” he says, voice tight, and Declan chuckles behind him.

  “Oh, there are definitely worse things to wake up to, except I thought a ghost was taking advantage of me, or the less thrilling prospect, that I had suddenly reverted back to thirteen and blew my load during a wet dream.”

  Everyone laughs at Declan’s statement, but he doesn’t look bothered. He just joins in and the tension breaks, the admission making me feel lighter than I have in months. Keeping this from them had been putting more stress on me than I’d thought.

  “Now that Declan’s put that image in my head, I think there’s one last thing to address,” Maksim says, and pulls away before leading me over to sit down beside him on the couch. Once there, I look up at him in confusion, not understanding what else there could be to talk about, but he’s not looking at me. Instead, his gaze is focused on where Satine still stands, eyes bright and full of energy.

  Gavril and Declan both look at her as well, and she looks down at her shirt as if she's trying to figure out what we're looking at. "What?" she finally asks, but Gavril answers before Maksim has the chance.

  “Sorry for staring, but I think we’re all just wondering how you were in here asleep, looking like you were only steps away from death's doorstep, and now you look like you could run a marathon?” he says, and her face takes on an inquisitive look, as if examining what he’s said.

  Maksim seems to have already figured something out and raises his hand to stop her. "I've got a theory, but we'll probably need to see what Fifi thinks about it. Until then, I think we've figured out your feeding problem, Satine," he adds, and her face lights up, hope shining within her chocolate eyes.

  “What do you mean, Maks? How would it be solved?” she asks, excitement causing the words to rush out from her.

  Never missing a beat, Maksim points his thumb in my direction. “Because of this connection, you fed earlier when Rhia and Gavril were together. I can’t say for certain, but I’m pretty sure you fed from them both. And if that's the case…” he drawls, waiting for her to pick up his reasoning, and when she does, tears start to cascade down her perfect face.

  “Then I’ll never have to find new partners again,” she finishes, and just like that, a whole new set of possibilities shine before us.

  “Honey, I sure hope you have a good reason for calling me so late. Because I’ve got three words for you. Sexy. French. Barista.”

  I laugh in response to Fifi's greeting and feel lighter just from knowing she's there. As far as friends go, she's a good one to have. Still, I can't help giving her a little grief about her choice of company.

  “Fifi, you’re in the middle of nowhere at Aradia. There are no sexy French baristas there,” I tease, and she scoffs in response.

  "You're no fun! Fine, he's a French major that works at Starbucks. He is fine though. Double jointed and eager to please. I swear, the boy could suck a golf ball through a hosepipe," she says, and I can hear the smile in her voice.

  Rolling my eyes at the mental image, I sigh, knowing that it's late and I have more questions than time. “As enlightening as that is, I’m actually calling because something happened. Something I’ve never heard of,” I say, and I hear a rustling of fabric followed by a few mumbled words I can’t mak
e out.

  “Okay, I’m out of bed. What’s going on?” she asks, voice serious, and I’m filled with gratitude for her.

  Not sure how to start, but figuring I should just spit it out, I blurt, “I had sex with Gavril.”

  The words hang there between us, and I don’t know if I’m happy or not that I can’t see her face. Until she replies, “hmmm,” and nothing else.

  “That’s it? Hmm?” I ask, frustrated and taking it out on her.

  She doesn't rise to the challenge in my voice though. Instead, her tone is calm as she says, "What do you want me to say? You kids practically reek of repressed sexual tension and anxiety. I swear, it's like an episode of Riverdale with you. Though I have to admit, I thought it would be mighty Maksim that stormed your trenches first. Gavril always seemed like more of a team player. You know, the more the merrier."

  While shaking my head in exasperation, Maksim comes into the room I sit in alone, and hesitantly approaches the bed. When he sees I'm not going to kick him out, he lowers himself onto the bed beside me, lays back, and puts his arm across his eyes. "Hey, Fifi," he murmurs and then goes silent.

  Hearing his greeting, Fifi says, “Speak of the devil and then he’ll show up. Tell that beefcake I said hey.”

  Maksim's snort tells me he heard Fifi, so I don't bother repeating her. Instead, I go on to tell her the rest of the story. Of how not only was I unable to keep the others out of my head, but that they'd shared my pleasure too. By the time I finish telling her, making sure to include Satine feeding through our bond, Fifi is dead sober when she addresses me next.

  “Rhia, I need you to listen to me very carefully. You can’t tell anyone else what happened, okay? You keep it between just you and the others. I need to do some research, but I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Until then, try experimenting with this connection and find out what other things can be shared through it. Just don’t do it around anyone else.”

  I start to reply, to ask her questions about what research she needs to do, or why she sounds afraid, but the line clicks off before I can, and she’s no longer there.

  Tired, confused, and with more questions than I started with, I fall back beside Maksim and don't resist as he pulls me in close and tucks me into the line of his body.

  Relieved he’s not upset about earlier, I look up at the curve of his handsome face and find him staring back at me.

  Rather than ask about my conversation, or even demand answers for what happened earlier in the bar, he leans his head forward and kisses my lips gently. “Get some sleep, Rhia. The problems will still be there in the morning, but at least tonight you can rest,” he says, and with his warm body cradling mine, I close my eyes and do just that.

  The sun streaming through the window caresses Satine’s face, and seeing her smooth skin back to a healthy color, makes all the problems we’re facing worth it. Especially when I think about the revelations from the night before. If she can feed through our bond, then she’d potentially be able to be sustained by that alone, and would never have to seek out willing donors to sate her needs again.

  Studying the soft curve of her lips, my eyes go wide when I feel a movement behind me, and remember that Maksim had been in here when I'd fallen asleep the night before. I'm not sure when Satine had joined us, claiming the space on the opposite side of me and somehow managing to avoid any contact with Maksim's big frame, but it's nice waking to both of them. Even if they are strangely still aware of each other in their sleep, their bodies both pressed against mine but never drawing closer to each other. No, there is nothing between them but a long-term friendship and a shared attraction for me.

  At least, I think Maksim is attracted to me. He'd never come out and said it, but he'd kissed me the night before, and that didn't seem like something you'd do with someone you didn't like. Especially once you found out they'd slept with one of your closest friends, and because of some metaphysical connection we couldn't control, you'd experienced their post-coital bliss right along with them.

  I hate having all of these unanswered questions and hate having to leave the nest of their bodies even more, but I'm eager to do as Fifi suggested. With that thought powering my movements, I rise from the bed and begin to plan my day. A call to my mom has to come first before anything else, as I have already put it off for too long, but after that, I can tell the others what Fifi said.

  I release a silent groan when I think about my upcoming call. It isn’t that I don’t want to talk to my mom. The opposite, really. My concern is that as soon as I hear her voice, I’ll spill all the troubles and events of the past few months to her. That would not be good for me, or for Aradia Academy, since Dean Wiseman had agreed to keep my nearly dying, twice, a secret from her. It won’t matter how elite the school is if my mother finds out. She’ll raise more hell than a demon on spring break.

  Like A Deer Caught In Headlights

  When my mom doesn’t answer by the third try, I leave a message for her to call me back, and immediately feel guilty for feeling relieved I’ve dodged our talk for a bit longer. One day I’ll tell her what's really going on in my life. Preferably when I know she won’t demand to know where I'm at, hop on a plane and come to see for herself that I’m okay. So… never.

  With everyone still sleeping, and nothing else to do, I decide to take a shower. I’m not dirty, but it will give me something to occupy my mind with for a few more minutes, so I head to the bathroom. As I walk down the halls, I absently note that there are no family portraits hanging on the walls before entering the small, but tidy bathroom. Once the door is closed behind me, I quickly strip out of my tank top and pajama shorts as I wait for the old pipes to heat the water up.

  The water feels phenomenal as it beats down on my back, granting me a few precious minutes of not thinking about anything, and I lean with my forehead pressed against the wall as I try to clear my mind. With the water running, I don’t hear the sound of the door opening, so when I exit a little while later, I smack straight into a toned, green chest that is missing its shirt. Which, funny enough, is a match to my own bare top.

  Startled by Declan's presence, I quickly push away from his solid chest, as he stares at my breasts like a deer caught in headlights. It's almost comical the way his mouth is gaping open like a fish out of water, or would be if I weren't completely naked in front of him.

  Remembering my lack of clothes, I make the mistake of diving for the towel that hangs on the door only for the quick action combined with my wet feet, to cause me to slip. As I fight and fail to regain my balance, I grab the only thing close enough to hold onto. Declan.

  We go down in a tumble of wet braids, bare skin, and humiliation, and end up flailing as we try to quickly get away from each other. This does no good, and eventually, I just stop moving and give up. Bringing my hands up to cover my hot face.

  "Shit, Rhia, I'm so sorry. I thought it was Gavril in here and was just going to brush my teeth. I didn't mean to… wait, are you crying?" he asks, his voice sounding strained, and I drop my hands to show that I'm not crying. I'm laughing at the predicament and that I'm still sprawled across the floor, my morning glory on display for anyone to see, and Declan's face is the darkest green I've ever seen as he tries to look away from me while fumbling for a towel.

  When his hand finally lands on it, he snatches it off the hook and tosses it my way like it burns, before turning his back to me completely. An action that I find strange, as he is the most flirtatious of all my friends. Well, excluding Satine. But I think hers is more due to her succubus nature than anything else. She just oozes sex appeal.

  When I climb to my feet, I wrap the towel around me as a thought hits me. Surely he couldn’t be… No, there is no way that Declan is a virgin. As prince of the leprechauns, I have no doubt that he's had his pick of women his whole adult life, even if the idea of him with another woman makes me want to rub up against him and claim him as my own.

  Done with the ‘what ifs' of his virginity, or lack thereof, I ta
p him on his shoulder, letting him know that I'm covered, and he turns hesitantly to face me, his face lined with an apology.

  “Hey, don’t do that,” I say as I run my thumb over the crease between his eyes, smoothing away the line there. Declan has a face for smiling. Seeing him look so uncertain is just wrong.

  Raising his hand to grab my wrist gently between his fingers, he stops my movements, before clearing his throat. “No, I shouldn’t have assumed it was Gavril in here. Now I need to go apologize to him too, for you know, pretty much perving on you in the shower,” he says, and I raise one brow as my temper begins to rise.

  Dropping my hand and taking a step back in anger, I can see the confusion in his eyes. But as he opens his mouth to ask what’s wrong, I halt him by shaking my head.

  “You apologized to me, and that’s all you need to do. Regardless of what I did with Gavril last night, this is still my body, and I’m the only one that gets to dictate who sees it.”

  Upset, I go to storm past him, but a soft touch to my elbow stops me, and I turn to see him looking even more miserable than before. I don’t let it sway me. He needs to understand that I mean what I said.

  “I don’t know what to say, Rhia. I feel like all I ever do is put my foot in my mouth. I know it’s your body. I would never presume to think otherwise. I just… I don’t know where you stand with Gavril, and I don’t know where you stand with me. Or even with any of the others. I’m floundering here, hoping that you’ll throw me a life raft, but so far, I’m sinking.”

  I finally soften a bit at his stricken look and know that I'm not being fair to him. Actually, I've been reckless as I've dealt with my growing feelings for them all, and it's time that I do something about it. So I take a step toward him, and look him straight in the eyes, before placing my hand on his chest and kissing him. I don't stay there long, really just a brush of our lips, but when I pull away, I find some of the darkness from in his gaze has disappeared.