Daddy Lessons

by Carolyne Aarsen

  “Did he ever go back?” Natasha asked, leaning closer and touching the gold nugget at the end of the necklace.

  “Yes, he finally did make the right choice. And he and Kamiskahk got married and they had a boy named Able, who had a boy named Bill, who married my Nana Beck. And the gold nuggets were passed down and my grandpa Bill made them into a bracelet for my Nana. And my Nana then got a necklace made out of each nugget and she gave them to her five grandchildren. And I’m one of the grandchildren.”

  Natasha nodded, her attention riveted on the necklace.

  “I always liked that story,” Dan said, slowing down to make the final turn to the ranch. “I’m just curious, what made your Nana decide to break the bracelet apart? I know she treasured it.”

  Hailey twined the chain around her finger, thinking of the evening her Nana had given it to her, along with the Bible. How Nana had hoped she would take the story seriously and be encouraged to make the right choices in her life, just as August had.

  “I guess she wasn’t sure about giving it to either of her daughters. Carter and Garret’s mom died when the boys were little and I know she and my mom weren’t close. I guess she decided to skip a generation. And it worked out pretty good. Five kids, five nuggets.”

  “That’s a great legacy,” Dan said, looking at her across the cab. “You’re lucky to have it.”

  As Hailey held his gaze, other parts of her legacy came to mind. How her father had left her and her sisters. How her mother had moved away, leaving Hailey, seemingly without a second thought.

  How Dan had also left her.

  Hailey pulled her gaze away. “Yes. I am. But I’m also very thankful that my Nana gave it to me. I’m thankful we still have her with us.”

  “Will she be here tonight?” Dan asked.

  “Oh yes. Wherever two or more grandchildren are gathered, Nana is there.”

  Dan looked like he was about to say more but then Natasha leaned forward, straining against her seat belt, pointing. “Is that it? Is that the ranch?”

  They had rounded a corner and were approaching a group of buildings. The snow crunched beneath their tires as they slowed down.

  The barns and corrals lay to one side of the large yard. On the other were two houses, one smaller than the other. Smoke poured out of the chimneys of both houses, and lights shone from the windows with a welcoming glow. A few cars were parked in front of the larger house, where Emma and Adam lived.

  “What are those little houses?” Natasha asked, pointing to the three structures beyond the large red barn and the corrals.

  “Those are cabins,” Hailey said as Dan parked beside Shannon’s little car. When Shannon had found out Hailey was coming, she’d offered her a ride. When Hailey had told her sister she would be riding with Dan and Natasha, she’d endured a long, meaningful pause more expressive than anything Shannon could have said. Hailey hoped her sister would keep her negative comments to herself tonight. Shannon had made no secret of the fact that she thought Hailey was playing with fire, spending so much time with Dan.

  “Who lives there?” Natasha asked, yanking at her seat belt.

  “Carter lives in one of them,” Hailey said, helping her unbuckle the belt. “But before that, me and my sisters would stay in them whenever we came to visit our Nana, Grandpa, and Garret and Carter. They all lived in the big house, the one we’re going to right now.”

  “Can we go to the cabins? Can we see inside?” Natasha asked, tugging on her toque and mitts, as if fully expecting to go look at them right away.

  “We first have to go to the house. But maybe later I can show you my old cabin.” Hailey stepped out of the truck into the chilly air. As she did, wistfulness plucked her heart. She’d visited the ranch a couple of times since she’d been back, of course, but each time a new set of memories surfaced. The games she and her cousins played, the hikes they made, the hot dog roasts and the horseback trips.

  And this time, memories of the few visits she and Dan had made here assaulted her. She choked those thoughts down. They belonged in the past.

  Smoke wafted out of the nearest cabin, and a weak light shone from its window. After Emma and Carter got engaged, she’d moved to the big house and Carter had moved into the cabin Emma had been staying in when she was simply a hired hand on the ranch.

  So much had changed for Carter, she thought, hugging herself. Once he’d been so broken, but Emma and her boy had healed him.

  She forced herself not to look at Natasha or Dan. Theirs was a different story, she reminded herself. She and Dan had had their chance. Too many events were crowded between then and now.

  Besides, she had her own plans.

  An undisturbed blanket of snow covered Naomi’s cabin. No one had visited it since winter had come. While she looked at the cabin, Hailey sent up a prayer for her sister keeping watch over her dying fiancé.

  Beside Naomi’s was Hailey’s cabin. The path leading up to it still held the vague shapes of her footprints from the last time she’d been here. She had shoveled the snow off the veranda then and had sat there for a while, letting herself get drawn into the innocence of the past. The simplicity of her life at that time.

  Natasha tugged on her hand, pulling her out of her reverie. “Let’s go to the house and ask Mr. Beck if I can ride a horse.”

  Hailey was about to reply when Dan came around the front of the truck and knelt down in the snow in front of her. “We’re not asking Mr. Beck anything,” he said, catching her by the shoulders and turning her to him as he established some ground rules for his daughter. “That’s rude, okay?”

  Natasha glanced up at Hailey as if to ask her to advocate for her.

  “We’re here to visit,” Hailey said. “So I think your daddy is right.”

  Natasha pushed her lip out in a pout. “I mean it, Natasha,” Dan reiterated. “No asking.”

  Natasha sighed, then nodded as she took Hailey’s hand, then Dan’s. Together they led her to the house, the snow squeaking under their feet as they walked. Hailey tried not to look over at Dan and the little domestic scene they had created, the two of them walking with Natasha between them.

  The door of the house swung opened as soon as they stepped onto the veranda. Emma stood framed in the doorway, the light behind her burnishing her dark hair. She wore a loose sweater over blue jeans and bare feet, in spite of the cold. “Come in, come in,” Emma called out, waving them into the house.

  Hailey pulled Natasha along behind her and as they entered the house warmth washed over them, laced with the mouthwatering smells of supper cooking. Laughter bursting from the living room beyond the kitchen added to the cozy ambience.

  “Carter, Shannon and Nana are trying to play a new game Shannon bought at a garage sale,” Emma explained as she took Dan and Natasha’s coats and hung them up in a closet in the porch. “Go inside, Dan. Make yourself at home. Natasha, Adam has been waiting for you. He’s in the living room setting up the farm set.”

  Dan nodded, then walked into the kitchen, Natasha right on his heels. Hailey went to follow when Emma caught her by the arm, pulling her back.

  “So?” Emma asked, the single word dripping with innuendo. She tucked a strand of her long, dark hair behind an ear, her brown eyes brimming with curiosity. Emma had been around the family long enough to know Hailey’s history, romantic and otherwise, and was obviously curious about Dan’s presence here.

  Hailey held her eager gaze, then said, “How are the wedding plans coming?”

  Emma tilted her head to one side, hoop earrings flashing in the light of the porch, then she grinned. “I just find it interesting that Dan came along,” she said, ignoring Hailey’s attempt to head her off at the conversational impasse.

  Hailey’s only answer was to crane her neck to see where Dan was, making sure he couldn’t
hear her. Then she turned back to her future cousin-in-law and lowered her voice. “This is the deal. I’m only telling you once. Dan is very protective of his daughter and he didn’t want her coming along by herself. That’s it. That’s the whole reason and the only reason he’s here.” She underlined this with a slice of her hand. “Yes, we used to date. Yes, we used to be serious. But I broke up with him and now he’s a widower with a little girl. What we had is beyond ancient history. The Mesopotamians are modern compared to what me and Dan had. Okay?”

  Emma pursed her lips and folded her hands as she considered Hailey. Then she sighed in resignation. “Okay. I get it.”

  “Thanks.” At least that was settled.

  “But I still think there’s something going on.”

  Hailey simply rolled her eyes, spun around and strode into the house. Seriously! Family!

  “I imagine you’re happy with the cattle prices right now,” Dan said to Carter as he leaned back against the couch.

  Dinner was over and under orders from the women, he and Carter had been sent to the living room while they cleaned up the dishes and made tea and coffee. A fire crackled in the large stone fireplace, sending out welcome waves of warmth.

  “Not complaining,” Carter agreed, lounging back in his recliner, his wavy hair a dark contrast against the beige upholstery. “It’s helped us turn a favorable corner.”

  “And it’s meant Carter can afford to keep me in the manner to which I’m accustomed,” Emma said, setting out a tray of teacups and coffee mugs on the low table in the living room.

  “What manner is that?” Hailey asked with a laugh as she spooned some sugar into a teacup and handed it to Nana.

  “Oh, you know, barefoot, in the kitchen,” Emma said with a wink toward Carter.

  “I hope the third part of that very rude statement will come true someday,” Nana said, stirring her tea, her graying hair setting off her slate-blue eyes.

  “One thing at a time, Nana,” Emma said, holding out a mug for Dan. “Coffee?”

  “Sounds good.” He took it and Emma held out the sugar bowl.

  “He only takes cream,” Hailey said handing him the pitcher.

  He felt an instant of surprise that she remembered.

  “And how are wedding plans coming?” Shannon asked Emma. “Will Garret be back in time to stand up for you, Carter?”

  “He better be,” Carter growled. “He said the job in Dubai would be done by then.”

  “I’m sure he’ll be back,” Hailey said. “Garret always does what he promises.”

  “Used to, anyway,” Carter said, looking down at his coffee.

  No one responded to that enigmatic comment and the women were drawn into wedding talk. Dan was content to sit back and watch the interaction.

  All during dinner the conversations would bypass each other, interweave, join up and double back. Sentences would be started by one, finished by another. A single word would elicit peals of laughter.

  Emma and Dan would look at each other and shrug.

  Dan couldn’t help a tinge of envy at Hailey’s connection with her cousins. His parents had moved to Hartley Creek as a young couple, leaving family behind in Houston, Texas, and Windsor, Ontario. Because the store kept his parents busy six days a week and most weeks of the year, they didn’t often get away to visit extended family.

  So for the majority of his life it had been just him and Austin.

  And now it was just him and Natasha.

  He took a quick sip of coffee, then coughed. Too hot.

  “You okay?” Hailey asked, throwing him a questioning look.

  “Fine. Just fine.” He held his hand up to assure her.

  “And how is your father doing, Dan?” Nana was asking. “Is he recuperating?”

  “He’s doing okay. Still gets tired quickly,” Dan said. “The doctor said he’s never seen such a bad case of pneumonia, but he’s getting stronger every day.”

  “I know your parents are very glad to have you back,” Nana said, glancing around her own brood. “We do miss our children after a while. And I know your parents were never the same after your brother died on the ski hill.”

  “No. I guess they weren’t,” Dan muttered, cradling his coffee mug in his hands, her innocent comment agitating a storm of old feelings.

  “I know how hard it was for me to bury my daughter Noelle, Carter and Garret’s mother. I’m sure your parents felt the same.” Nana Beck lifted her hand in a gesture of helplessness. “It was difficult to see your parents deal with all their grief. They became shadows of their former selves.”

  “Daddy, come and see what me and Adam did,” Natasha called out. “We’re making a farm.”

  Dan put his mug down so fast the contents sloshed around, almost spilling. “I should…I should go see what’s she’s been doing,” Dan said, seizing the opportunity to leave an increasingly uncomfortable conversation.

  “Of course. Of course,” Nana said, waving him off. “I’m so sorry if what I said hurt you. I didn’t mean anything.”

  “No, it’s fine.” Dan moved to where his daughter sat. As he crouched down beside her on the carpet, the heat from the fireplace warmed a chill that had gripped him. “So, what are you kids doing here?”

  “See, we’ve got all the goats together because Adam said that’s how it’s supposed to be,” Natasha said, pointing to a plastic pen. “And over here are the chickens. They have to be close to the barn so they can go inside quick if a coyote comes.”

  “Or a fox,” Adam intoned as he moved a few sheep around.

  “I never seen a fox,” Natasha said.

  “They are bad for chickens.”

  Dan let their chatter wash over him. He felt a bit rude for leaving Nana so quickly, but her comments about his parents cut him deep and hard. Her words had ignited the guilt that seemed to be his constant companion since he’d seen that covered sled coming off the ski hill, holding his brother’s body.

  He hooked the tractor to a baler for Adam, then helped Natasha move the barn. After a few moments he glanced over at the adults and caught Hailey looking at him.

  Her wistful smile made his heartbeat tick upward and when she got up to join them, his emotions tipped into anticipation.

  “This looks amazing,” Hailey said, standing over them.

  “My daddy is a good farmer,” Natasha replied, intent on the fence she was assembling for the horses.

  “I’m sure he is,” Hailey said. But she didn’t sit down with them. “I just thought I’d let you know, I’m heading over to my cabin to pick up a few things. And anytime you want to go, Dan, is fine with me.”

  Natasha’s head spun around at that. “Can I come? Can I see the cabin?” She clambered to her feet.

  Dan caught his daughter by the arm. “No, honey. I think Miss Deacon wants to go by herself.”

  Natasha’s lower lip started moving out and she sent a pleading look Hailey’s way.

  But Dan wasn’t giving in to her. Not in front of Hailey’s family. Besides, it was time his daughter heard the word no.

  Hailey sent Dan a look that clearly telegraphed it was okay with her, but Dan shook his head. “Natasha can stay here. You go.” He glanced at his watch. “I wouldn’t mind to be back in town soon. I need to stop in at my parents’ place as well.” He hadn’t seen his father since day before yesterday and wanted to let him know how things were going at the store.

  “Okay, if I’m not back in time, come and get me.” And then Hailey turned and left.

  Dan wasn’t going to watch her, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off her slim figure, moving with an easy grace, her hair a copper fall, swinging with every step.

  “Daddy, why are you staring at Miss Deacon?” Natasha asked.

  Dan
quickly averted his gaze, hoping the rest of Hailey’s family hadn’t heard what she’d said.

  But more than that, hoping Hailey hadn’t heard what she’d said.

  Stay focused, he reminded himself as he tried to keep his attention on what his daughter was doing. You can’t afford to get distracted.

  And yet, even as he told himself this, he couldn’t erase the picture of Hailey from his mind.

  Chapter Seven

  Hailey shivered in the chill of the cabin and turned up the temperature on the little heater, wondering why she bothered. By the time the cabin was warm it would be time to go.

  But at least for now, it took some of the bite off the cold air.

  She glanced around the cabin, memories crowding each other. She’d had so many good times here.

  She got on her knees and reached under the bed, ignoring the rolling dust bunnies as she pulled out a shoe box. She set it on the bed and brushed the dust off.

  Pain stabbed through her when she saw the writing on the lid.

  Letters and notes from Dan, with a date scribbled beneath the title.

  She knew she should toss the box aside to be discarded. But in spite of herself she rested her hand on the box, her lips pressed together as memories assaulted her.

  When she’d made the decision to move away from Hartley Creek, she’d thrown away what she could and moved the rest to her cabin here. It wasn’t much. A few boxes of photos, some CDs, some books and memorabilia. A couple of old snowboards that, at one time, she had scrimped and saved for and hadn’t been able to part with, even after she’d broken them.

  And in the box below her hand, some of the notes she and Dan had sent each other throughout high school and after he’d graduated.

  The date scribbled on the lid was four days before Austin’s accident. A month before Dan left Hartley Creek.

  With a decisive movement, she set the box aside, then went under the bed again and found the box she’d come looking for. This one held some old CDs she wanted to hear again. A few movies she could watch again. Stuff. She set it aside, found another box that held books and set them both by the door. Hopefully, Dan wouldn’t mind putting them in the back of the truck. She glanced around the cabin. In a few months she would be moving again and anything she left behind would be here for a long time.