Daddy Lessons

by Carolyne Aarsen

  She was about to go, but her eyes shifted to the box on the bed. She had to find a way to get rid of it. Maybe Carter could burn the letters.

  What if he looked through them?

  She snatched the box off the bed and quickly brought it to the pile by the door. This she had to do herself. But if she was taking them back to Hartley Creek in Dan’s truck she’d have to bag the box up, or find a way to seal it shut so the lid wouldn’t come off in transport. Maybe Emma had something in the house she could use.

  Before she left, however, she walked back to the corner where her old snowboards stood. Bright red and orange flames decorated one of them.

  She picked it up, grinning at the huge crack between the two bindings on the board, remembering how it had happened. She and Megan had just carved through some awesome powder and ended up on the edge of a double black diamond, squinting against the sun dancing off a thick layer of snow that had fallen the night before. Below them lay the town of Hartley Creek, bisected by the river. Dan had taken his brother Austin down an easier run and was waiting for them at the bottom of the hill. Hailey knew if she didn’t get down soon, Dan would be up the chairlift again and she would have a hard time finding him. So she’d taken Megan’s dare.

  Halfway down she hit some exposed rock, tumbled, turned over, hit another rock with her board and that was the end of snowboarding that day. When she’d finally caught up with Dan he’d been furious. That was when Hailey knew he really cared for her.

  They’d started going steady after that.

  Hailey was about to set the board back against the wall when a knock on the door startled her. She jumped around, dropping the snowboard with a clatter.

  “Can I come in?” Dan called out.

  Hailey was surprised by the tremor in her chest at the sound of his deep voice. She smoothed her hair away from her face, then caught herself preening. With a shake of her head she walked to the door and opened it.

  To her surprise he stood by himself on the deck, shadows flickering over his face from the single bulb hanging from the ceiling behind Hailey.

  “Where’s Natasha?” she asked as he stepped into the cabin.

  “She got distracted by a video game she and Adam are playing.” Dan looked past her and grinned. “Are those your old snowboards?” he asked.

  “I should throw them away, but haven’t been able to.” Hailey shoved her hands in the back pocket of her blue jeans, suddenly far too aware of how small the cabin had become when Dan had come inside.

  Why had he come?

  Probably just to hurry her along. He had said he wanted to leave early.

  But he picked up the board she had set aside, seemingly not in any rush to go yet. “I remember this one. Didn’t you name it Red Lightning?”

  Hailey shrugged, surprised he remembered and a little embarrassed at the same time. “I know. Not exactly original or accurate.”

  “I remember how the sales guy at Edge of the Sky laughed at you when you christened it with that bottle of water.”

  “Was a big day for me,” Hailey answered, letting his easy comments pull her back into the drift of old memories. “My first brand-new snowboard, and a Burton to boot. I can’t remember how many kids I babysat or how many dishes I washed at the Royal to pay for it.”

  “Lots, I’m sure. Boards are expensive.” Dan picked it up, his long fingers tracing the crack running across the bottom. He grinned as he set it aside. “You were a bit of a daredevil on the hill. I remember how hard I had to push myself to keep up with you.” His smile was relaxed, easy, and as their eyes met it was as if the events and relationships of the past few years shifted to the side and they were simply Dan and Hailey again.

  Silence hovered between them but this time it was the quiet comfort of old friends. Which is what they were.

  Hailey had known Dan since she had moved to Hartley Creek. Though he was a year older, in a small town that didn’t matter as much, and they’d grown up together.

  “I’m glad Natasha is enjoying playing with Adam,” Hailey said, pushing the snowboard Dan had just set down into the corner again. “That will make her transition into school easier.”

  “That’s good for her. Natasha hadn’t had much chance to play with other kids when she lived with Lydia. Or, for that matter, when she came to visit me.”

  Hailey pulled in one corner of her lip. “Did Lydia really do any homeschooling with Natasha?”

  Dan shook his head, releasing a bitter laugh. “I think you’ve seen the results of that. Lydia had all these grand ideas, but she wasn’t good on the follow-up.”

  Hailey pulled her coat around her, surprised that Dan had been the one to bring up his ex-wife. Other than the brief mention of Lydia’s parents, it was as if they had an unspoken agreement not to talk about her.

  But Hailey’s curiosity was piqued, especially hearing Dan’s tone when he spoke of her.

  “Your divorce must have been difficult for you as well as Natasha.”

  Dan gave her a wry look. “Actually, this sounds a bit harsh, but it was a bit of a relief.”

  This was news to Hailey. “Why?”

  Dan scratched his temple with one finger and eased out a sigh. Then, to her surprise, he sat down on the stool behind him. Hailey took the hint and lowered herself to the bed, waiting.

  “Lydia and I didn’t have the best marriage. It started for the wrong reasons.” He wove his fingers together, tapping his thumbs against each other, the grimness of his features throwing his eyes into shadow. He said nothing for a moment and Hailey had to stifle the questions bubbling beneath the surface. “You may as well know…Lydia and I…” He paused, his attention on his hands, avoiding her gaze. “When I left Hartley Creek I felt depressed. I didn’t live the life I should have.” He lifted his shoulder in a shrug. “There’s no excuse for it, but I hung out with a bad crowd. Partied too much. Made some dumb mistakes.”

  Hailey pressed her lips together, sensing they were edging toward unknown territory. Moving toward a place from which, once entered, there would be no turning back.

  A frisson of fear trickled down her spine. Did she want to go there? Would it change things between her and Dan?

  Right now she had her life mapped out. And, apparently, Dan had his own goals too. And neither figured in the other’s future plans.

  And yet, all those questions she had agonized over when she found out about Lydia still hovered at the edges of her consciousness. Maybe, if they could be answered, it would ease some of the lingering brokenness that she had carried all this time, even make it easier for her to leave when the time came.

  “What happened, Dan?” Hailey slipped the question into the quiet following his initial admission.

  He said nothing at first and even the shadows behind them seemed to hold their breath, waiting.

  Dan squeezed his hands together. “Like I said, I made some bad decisions. Some big mistakes. I was lonely and still trying to deal with all the…all the stuff that happened back here.” He stopped, then looked up at Hailey. “Lydia and I ended up together one night. She got pregnant. I knew I had to step up to my responsibilities, so I told her we had to get married. And we did. Then, two years after Natasha was born, Lydia left me and filed for divorce.”

  As he spoke, it was as if something deep within her was torn up by the roots. All her old thoughts, bitterness and sorrow had been grounded in wrong perceptions. False conclusions.

  “That’s why you married her? Because of Natasha?” She had to say it again, to hear the confirmation from him.

  Dan nodded, looking down at his hands, his mouth set in angry lines. “Yes. That’s why. It wasn’t because I loved Lydia. It was because I wanted to do what was right. To fix my mistakes.”

  As Hailey’s breath left her lungs, she became a
ware she’d been holding it.

  “I’m not sorry I did that,” Dan added. “I knew I had to man up to my responsibilities. My regret is for the mistakes I made that required me to marry her.”

  Regret. He felt regret for mistakes.

  Hailey rocked back and forth; Dan’s admission had created a seismic shift reverberating backward through her memories and through her life.

  He hadn’t married Lydia because he loved her.

  Which made Hailey wonder how Dan had felt about her when he’d left.

  Dan’s eyes were full of sorrow and pain as his gaze caught hers. “I’m sorry you had to hear this, Hailey. I’m not proud of what I did.”

  “But you did the right thing,” Hailey said, pressing her hands to her heated cheeks. “You absolutely did the right thing. And now you have Natasha and I’m sure you don’t regret that.”

  Dan’s grateful smile dove into her heart and settled there.

  “No. I don’t,” he said quietly. “I guess God hadn’t given up on me. He found a way to make her a blessing to me.”

  The only sound in the ensuing silence was the hum of the heater. The cabin walls isolated them from the rest of the world, creating a momentary haven.

  Outside lay responsibilities and decisions. But right here and right now it was just the two of them dealing with the brokenness that had come between them.

  “I’m glad you told me about Lydia,” Hailey said, rubbing her hands up and down her denim-clad legs. “Really glad.”

  Dan blew out a long, slow sigh. “Not easy to admit the stupid mistakes a person does, but I knew if we ever met again I’d have to tell you. Especially because at one time we were close.”

  At one time. The words had a finality to them that created a pang of wistfulness.

  “Yes, we were,” Hailey said, getting to her feet, looking over at the snowboard, then at the boxes beside the door. “And now we should probably get back to the house before people think you got lost.”

  Or before they think something else.

  Dan stood at the same time and then they were inches apart. Hailey swallowed, her mind telling her to move but her heart wanting this moment of closeness.

  “Hailey, I’m so sorry,” Dan whispered. Then he lifted his hand and rested it on her shoulder. Squeezed ever so slightly.

  Even through her jacket she felt his warmth. Then, without thinking why, she lifted her shoulder, and pressed her cheek against his hand.

  Dan’s hand squeezed tighter, and then his other hand moved to her other shoulder, pulling her closer. Her hand lifted and rested on his chest, her fingers curling against the rough material of his wool jacket.

  She moved nearer.

  Emotions old and new roiled around them, pulling, pushing, woven through with a sense of waiting. Anticipation.

  A sharp rap on the door splintered the moment.

  Hailey jumped back, her cheeks flaming. Dan lowered his hand and moved away.

  “Come in,” Hailey called out, shoving her hands in her pocket as she strode toward the door.

  Emma put her face inside, glancing from Hailey to Dan. “Natasha was wondering where Dan had gone. She wants to show him something on the computer.”

  “Of course,” Hailey said, clenching her hands inside her pockets. “We’ll be right there. Dan was helping me figure out which boxes I can put in the truck. I guess it’s okay if I leave the snowboards here unless they’re in the way?” She heard the nervousness in her voice. Way to sound guilty, she chided herself.

  The glint of humor in Emma’s brown eyes told Hailey she thought the same thing.

  “There’s no rush. I just wanted to make sure Dan found the right cabin and wasn’t wandering around the yard.”

  Then, with a discreet wink to Hailey, Emma closed the door, leaving Dan and Hailey behind.

  “We should probably head back to town,” Dan said, looking everywhere but at Hailey. “I promised my parents I’d stop in tonight with Natasha.”

  “Of course. I’ll get these boxes to the truck and see you at the house.” Hailey didn’t look at Dan as he closed the door behind himself but she was sure he saw her flushed cheeks.

  Stupid fair complexion, she thought, gathering up the boxes. Dead giveaway every time.

  Dead giveaway of what? He’s not supposed to mean anything to you anymore.

  Hailey shook her head as if to dislodge the accusing voice. He didn’t. That moment with Dan had been born of an intimate conversation. It was an aberration.

  So why did Hailey feel as if they were on the edge of something else?

  Chapter Eight

  “No. I don’t want her going on the ski hill.” Dan knelt on the floor and ripped open the box of drill bits he had brought up from the back room.

  It was a Monday morning. The lunch rush was over and his mother was taking care of the lone customer in the store.

  Which was probably why Hailey sprung this on him now.

  “It will be a good opportunity for her to connect with the other kids.” Hailey stood beside him and from the corner of her eye he saw her pursed lips, her head tipped to one side as if she was trying to figure him out.

  Not that he blamed her. Lately he couldn’t figure himself out either. One moment he was telling himself that he and Hailey had moved on. That they were mature adults who could interact like any other mature adults.

  The next he was almost kissing her in her old cabin at the ranch.

  “She can do that when she’s back in school,” Dan retorted, pulling out a couple of blister packages.

  “We talked about transition,” Hailey said. “I think this could be another good step for her to integrate back into the class in a nonthreatening environment.”

  “I’d hardly call Misty Ridge a nonthreatening environment.” As Dan stood, he couldn’t stop a thrum of anxiety at the thought of his daughter on the ski hill. “She’s too young yet,” he said, looking over Hailey’s shoulder. Natasha was working in the back of the store again, sorting some nuts and bolts. Dan couldn’t figure out why she seemed to enjoy that so much, but Hailey was able to show results by doing it. And he wasn’t going to argue with results.

  But he was going to argue with Hailey’s proposition. He turned his attention back to her. “She’s never been on the ski hill, or any ski hill for that matter.”

  “The younger she can start the better it will be for her.” Hailey sounded reasonable, but he couldn’t get his emotions past the thought of his daughter skiing on Misty Ridge.

  “Better for what?” he said, turning back to sorting the drill bits. Why had Hailey sprung this on him while he was working and distracted? Had she hoped he would simply agree and leave it at that?

  “It would be better for her confidence and for her skills.”

  “She doesn’t need to learn how to ski or snowboard.” As Dan hung the blister pack of three-eighths-inch bits on the peg he realized how silly he sounded.

  “Considering that the ski hill is a scant ten-minute drive from town, I would think sooner or later she’ll end up on Misty Ridge,” Hailey said. “May as well equip her with the skills she needs as early as possible.”

  As much as he hated the idea, Dan also knew she was right. And he also knew that in a town like Hartley Creek, where skiing and snowboarding were imbedded in the culture of the town, it was inevitable Natasha would get drawn into it.

  “I still don’t like it,” he insisted.

  “She had so much fun with Adam at the ranch,” Hailey said, pressing on as if she sensed his wavering. “This would be a logical next step. Besides, like I said, it is a nonthreatening situation for her and for her classmates.”

  “You know I don’t like the idea and I’m sure you know why,” he finally admitted.<
br />
  “Of course I know why,” she said. “I was there that day too, remember?”

  He looked over at her and as his gaze held her gray-blue eyes it was as if he had shifted back in time and they were back up on the mountain. She was leading the way in her usual kamikaze style, daring him to follow her down that double black diamond run. Daring him to follow her into the roped-off areas that held a whiff of danger. He felt the same tickle in the pit of his stomach he experienced when he stood on the edge of a difficult slope. A sense of expectation and exhilaration.

  But mixed in with that, a sense of fear.

  Because he also remembered her reaction when they’d gotten the news about Austin’s death. How she had stumbled backward. Fallen down and then started weeping inconsolably. She had suffered almost as huge a loss as he had. Her grief had been almost as deep as his.

  And he had to carry that with him as well.

  Hailey took a step closer, laying her hand on his arm. “How about I take her on Monday, just for the day? Now that your dad is better, you can come out and see for yourself how things go with her.”

  Her hand felt warm and soft, and as he looked down at her face he caught again the orange scent of her perfume. She stood so close that he could see the faint scar along her cheekbone, and before he could stop himself he’d reached up and touched it.

  “Remember when you got this,” he said, his finger lightly tracing its outline.

  “It was just a bump,” she said.

  “But I remember how scared I was when I saw you fall.” He reluctantly lowered his hand.

  Hailey looked down, a faint blush creeping up her neck.

  “There’s danger everywhere,” Hailey said, lowering her voice, creating a cocoon of intimacy in the aisle of the store. “Statistically, driving Natasha around in your truck is more dangerous than taking her on the ski hill.”