“Stop,” she ordered, her fingers pressed to his lips. Her face was soft in the light and she rose on her toes to place a kiss on the underside of his jaw. “It’s you…so it’s perfect.”
They stood, toe to toe, staring at each other, a slight smile crossing both of their faces. He bent to kiss her forehead, saying, “Have a seat, sweet Aggie. I’ll get the plates.”
He brought over plates and she placed the container boxes onto the table, opening them to allow more steam and delicate scents to rise.
Sitting, Agatha helped herself to a little of everything, immediately moaning over the taste. She opened her eyes to see Nathan staring, his amber eyes dark with lust. Licking her lips, her gaze dropped to his mouth.
“Keep eating, Aggie. The temptation is killing me.”
She wondered what the heroines in her romance novels would do. Bat their eyes coquettishly? Shoot off a rapid-fire quip? Sexy banter? Her eyes dropped to her plate, the realization that she did not know how to do any of those things making her feel inadequate.
“What just happened?” he asked, having seen her face drop.
Shrugging, she looked over at him. “I’m not very good at this.”
Jerking slightly, he asked, “This what, Aggie?”
“You know. Flirting. I read about it in my romance novels. I even watch other women do it, but I’m clueless.” Snorting, she said, “There’s a young cashier at the grocery, and you should see her whenever a good-looking man goes by. She practically drools, bats her eyes, jokes with him, tells him he’s sexy…even if his wife or girlfriend is right there.” She scrunched her face and said, “She makes it look so easy. But, when I’m with you, I feel like I can’t think of anything witty to say and it makes me feel kind of stupid when it comes to men.” Heaving a huge sigh, she said, “There. I got it out. But now feel like a total idiot.”
Laughter erupted from him and she immediately pinched her lips together. “Don’t laugh at me!”
“No, no, babe,” he said, reaching across and taking her hand. He pulled gently and she followed, standing and moving toward his chair. He drew her down to his lap, settling her close. “First of all, Aggie, I’d never laugh at you. But, you need to understand that sometimes I feel the same way that you do.”
She was quiet, but peered closely, seeing sincerity in his eyes. “How?”
“Born and raised on a working farm, I didn’t have a lot of time for anything other than school, sports, and helping my folks. It was a good life, but partying and hanging out with girls wasn’t exactly how I spent my weekends. I joined the Army right after high school, so, there were no frat parties for me. Sure,” he admitted, “we would party some to let off steam, but the female soldiers I worked with were just that—co-workers, and I was never going to go there. Too many headaches.”
She reached up and held on to his wide shoulders, loving the feel of his muscles underneath her fingers.
Trying to ignore the feel of Agatha’s touch, Nathan continued, “I’ve been friends with the Saints for about four years now, and would get invited out to the bars with them when some of them were still single. You should have seen Bart and Cam…they’d flirt with every pretty girl they saw and end up taking them home. I can’t imagine how many women they…uh…well, were with before Miriam and Faith came along. Monty was high class and came from money. He never lacked female attention either. Marc was always the outdoorsy type and from, what I hear, had plenty of company to share his tents for a night.”
Eyes wide, she said, “Wow. Isn’t it kind of weird, now that they’re all settled?”
“Not really. I mean, every one of those guys is now a one-woman man. They live and die for their mates.”
He lifted his hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. “What I’m trying to say is…that wasn’t me. I’m not a partier. I’m not a monk, either, but I didn’t pick up women very often and none recently. I’ve never brought a woman to my house. It was always just physical, and honestly, not a lot of those.”
Staring up at the handsome face that was filling her thoughts during the day and her dreams at night, Agatha wondered aloud, “Why not?”
Shrugging, he said, “I think I’ve always longed to have what my parents have and knew I’d never find that in a bar hookup.” Holding her gaze, he finished, “So, you don’t need to try to be coy, or flirtatious, or try to say a certain thing. Just be you. ‘Cause I sure as fuck don’t know how to turn on the charm to get a woman. All I can be is just me.”
“So, if you’re just being you, and you say that the temptation is killing you…what’s happening?” By now, her hands had moved up from his shoulders to cup his strong jaw, the feel of his stubble rough underneath her fingertips. “I guess I kinda need things spelled out, plain and simple.”
He grinned as he slid one hand up her back to cup the back of her head, drawing her closer. “Plain and simple is all I got, babe. I need to get you fed because the temptation to drag you to my bedroom and find all the ways I can make you moan with my mouth on your body, is hard to fight. Every time I hear you make those little noises, my dick gets harder. But, you’re hungry and my daddy raised a gentleman. So, you eat first and then—”
“I’m no longer hungry for Chinese,” she whispered, her eyes boring into his. “I just want you.”
“Thank fuck,” he growled, slamming his mouth onto hers.
16
Nathan stood and Agatha wrapped her legs around his waist, clinging to his shoulders with her hands. His chair fell backward, but they gave it no notice as he stalked down the hall to his bedroom. He made it to his bed, turned and fell backward, her body landing on top of his, an “umph” leaving her lips.
With a deft flip, he rolled her under him, planting his forearms on the mattress beside her to keep the pressure of his heavy weight off her. He stared at her for a moment, the air heavy with anticipation between them. Slowly, he lowered his mouth to hers, this time the kiss languorous. Nibbling at her bottom lip, he tugged it with his teeth before soothing it with his tongue.
She squirmed underneath him, feeling his thick cock pressing into her thigh. Her fingers dug into his shoulders again, pulling him closer even though their bodies were pressed together from toes to lips.
His kisses trailed down her jaw to the underside of her chin, continuing in their path until finally landing on the pulse point at the base of her neck. The fluttering of movement under his lips was the sign of her heart, beating for them.
A sound left her lips and he kissed his way upward again, wanting to hear every moan and capture them in his mouth.
“Tell me what you want, sweet Aggie,” he begged, shifting his weight to the side, freeing a hand to slip underneath her shirt. Moving upward, the feel of her soft skin under his fingertips was a siren’s call straight to his cock. His fingers grazed the underside of her breast and he halted, waiting for her reply.
Agatha sucked her lips in, desire pooling between her legs, her breasts heavy with longing for his fingers to inch higher. Her body, primed and quivering, lay in wait for his ministrations.
At her silence, Nathan lifted his head, peering into her face, uncertain of what he saw. “You want me to stop? Just say the word, babe, and this stops now.”
“No,” Agatha whispered, her voice hoarse with need. “I…I…don’t know what to ask for.” Seeing his eyebrow lift, she felt the heat of blush rise from her chest to her hairline. Her eyes slid to the side as embarrassment flooded throughout her being.
“Look at me,” he ordered gently. Waiting until she shifted her gaze back to him, he asked, “We do this, it means something. And for it to mean something, I want us on the same page. So, you gotta talk to me.” Waiting for a few seconds for his words to sink in, he asked, “Where did you go…when I asked what you wanted?”
“I…” she hesitated, her mind swirling and body stiffening.
Feeling her muscles tense, he moved his hand from underneath her shirt and rolled to the side, pulling her with him. Shifti
ng them on the bed, so their heads were on the pillows, he lay with her cuddled in his arms.
“Can I ask you something?”
She nodded, trying to hide the fear of what he was going to ask.
“Did something bad happen to you?” He watched as her wide-eyed gaze jumped to his. “Did someone hurt you…during sex?”
“No…I…no…” she stammered.
“Okay…” he acknowledged, his voice soft as his arms continued to hold her closely. “Are you a…?”
“I’m not a virgin,” she blurted, her gaze on his chin and not his eyes. Heat infused her body and she knew she was ruining what should be a perfect evening. He deserves honesty…well, as much as I can give him. Clearing her throat, she said, “I’m not very experienced. In fact, I’ve only had sex once…uh…several years ago.”
The idea of her being hurt or not being treated right, especially during her first time, sent anger throughout Nathan and he fought to steady his voice. “Did he hurt you—”
“No.” Seeing the doubt in his eyes, she pinched her lips together. “This is so embarrassing,” she whispered, mortified.
“For me to make this good for you, I need to know. There’s nothing you could tell me that would change how I feel about you…how I want this to go.”
Agatha held his gaze, knowing that giving all of the truth would destroy them, but she wanted this with every fiber in her being. To be held. To be kissed. To have his body in hers…just hers…just Agatha, not Agnes, who was tainted with the sins of her family. Nodding, she answered, “I had just turned eighteen and was at a…uh…family gathering. A young man I liked took me into a closet and…I don’t know…we sort of fumbled around. It didn’t feel good, but he didn’t hurt me on purpose. I wasn’t forced, or anything like that…I just didn’t know what I was doing and I’m not sure he did either.”
“It hurt?” Nathan growled softly, forcing his voice to lower even though he wanted to roar.
She nodded, but rushed, “It was over quickly, so it wasn’t too bad. After that, I…uh...didn’t really want to. I just figured some people weren’t made for sex.” Sucking in a deep breath, she blew it out before adding, “When you asked me to tell you what I wanted, I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know the words to use. I mean, I know…from reading books. But,” she shrugged, “I just felt stupid and awkward.”
“Oh, babe,” he groaned, pulling her closer while leaning over her, his hands now cupping her face. “I didn’t mean for you to tell me exactly what you wanted me to do to you…I’ll take care of that. In fact, taking care of you…in all ways, and that includes sexually, is my job. Or at least, I want it to be my job. And that fuckwad, who took you in a closet, pisses me off, because a woman should always be treated with respect and care. If he was any kind of man, he would have wanted your first time to be special and he should have taken care of you first. He didn’t do that and your body wasn’t ready. That’s why it hurt. Babe, it should never hurt.”
Agatha stared into his eyes, her fingers clinging to his biceps, as his words moved over her.
“But, I needed to know that you want this…us. I didn’t want to make any assumptions based on lust. That’s what I meant when I asked what you wanted. I just needed to hear that you wanted this tonight.”
Her mouth opened but no words came out, so he continued. “I meant what I said earlier…we do this, it means something. I need to know if you’re on the same page.”
Her heart pounded with all that he said, both thrilled and terrified. He desired her and she had never felt desire from a man before.
Not finished, he added, “I also know you work with abused women, so you know how men can fuck up a woman. You gotta know, I would never take a hand to you. I would never let anger come between us. I plan on taking care of you, but I’m not a man who demands things go my way. If we disagree, then we discuss. I won’t use sex as a way to control you. In fact, I don’t control you. I might be bossy at times, and I’m sure you will be too,” he smiled a little at that, “but your needs will always be first on my mind.”
She nodded, understanding flooding her. Closing her eyes, she forced thoughts of her family to the background. I’m not Agnes, daughter of abusers. I’m Agatha…rescuer of the abused. Fighting to hold on to that thought, she nodded again, blurting, “I want this. I want you. I don’t know what I’m doing, but if you show me what to do, I’m a fast learner.”
A beautiful grin spread across his face as he leaned down, halting a breath away from her lips. “A fast learner…I like that.”
Kissing her, he moved his mouth over hers, plunging his tongue inside, tasting her delicate flavor. She gave herself to him, letting him take the lead, but mimicking his movements. Tangling her tongue with his, she explored his mouth, enjoying the tingling sensation that his kiss sent to her core.
Once sure that she was right there with him, Nathan once more moved his hand to the bottom of her shirt, slipping upward along the soft skin of her belly, resting underneath her breasts. His thumb grazed her bra-covered nipple, feeling the hard bud beneath the soft material. Capturing her moan in his mouth, he cupped her breast, the weight heavy in his hand.
She began to squirm, heat pooling between her legs. His hand continued its path upward, taking her t-shirt over her head, exposing the green satin of her bra. Holding her gaze, he watched as she nodded permission, then, slid the bra strap from her shoulder as she unsnapped the front closure. Her breasts spilled out, the dark rosy nipples budding for him.
He took one in his mouth, sucking deeply before nipping with his teeth and soothing with his tongue. The delicious sensations caused her to moan once more, this time her hips writhing in need. Moving between breasts, he laved each one, his beard abrading the sensitive skin, leaving his mark.
She clutched his head as he kissed his way over her belly. Mewling in discontent when his lips left her body, he grinned as his fingers made their way to her jeans. Within a minute, he divested her of the rest of her clothing, laying her bare for his heated perusal.
“Fuck, sweet Aggie, you’re beautiful,” he said, his eyes roaming over her body, blinking as his gaze reached her lower abdomen. “You’ve got a tattoo,” he said, surprise in his voice.
Bending to get a better look, the ink was done well but, while he was glad she had gone to a reputable place, a bolt of jealously shot through him at the location of the artist’s work, just at her bikini line on her lower abdomen. A small lighthouse was inked into her pale skin, beams of light shooting from the top. “When did you get it?”
“About a year ago. I desperately wanted to do something that was so unlike what anyone would have expected,” she replied, a little smile playing about her lips at the memory.
“A lighthouse?”
Nodding, she explained, “I had no idea what to get, but a friend suggested the lighthouse…I suppose the light in the darkness analogy. It was kind of a lark to get it, but, I’m glad I did. Of course,” she laughed, “I was so afraid of it hurting, the tattoo artist gave me something that took the edge off, and before you get upset thinking I was roofied, my friend was with me the whole time. I was completely awake, but didn’t feel any pain.”
“Well, I have to admit they did a good job.”.
Agatha leaned up, staring into Nathan’s eyes, seeing honesty there. Her father had always said she was his little beauty. Her mother was gorgeous and people always said she looked like her. She had even noticed the eyes of other men following her…until they realized who she was and their eyes dropped in deference. Her father’s men never looked at her as anything other than someone to guard. But that was as Agnes.
As Agatha, she avoided places where she might be noticed…recognized. Harlan had assured her she was still pretty, with her shorter, blonde hair, amber eyes, altered nose and teeth. She had always told him that her looks no longer mattered. Living life, her way, was what was important.
But, right now, right here, as this man she respected stared at her in unaba
shed desire, she smiled, her heart lighter. Opening her arms, she invited him in.
He bent, kissing the inside of her thighs, before gliding his hand through her damp folds. She gasped at the unfamiliar touch, but as he inserted a thick finger into her sex, her gasp turned into a moan. With his thumb pressing against her clit, he moved his finger deep inside, discovering the motions that made her moan even louder.
It only took a moment before she grabbed the sheets with her fists, her hips jerking upward as the sensations wound tighter inside. Just as he increased the pressure on her clit, she erupted, a volcano of molten heat searing her core, sending shock waves throughout her body. Crying out, she shook from the inside out as her core squeezed his finger. After what seemed like an eternity, her body relaxed, exhausted and sated as she floated back to earth.
Opening her eyes, heavy with lust, she gazed at his satisfied expression, watching as he brought his finger to his mouth, sucking off her juices.
“Oh, my,” she breathed. “I’ve never…”
He kissed her and she tasted the unfamiliar essence of herself on his lips where he had sucked his finger. Blowing out a breath, she wondered if she would have the energy to finish what they had started.
“Give me a minute and oh, yeah, you will, babe. But don’t worry, I’ll do all the work.”
She realized she had spoken out loud and grinned, too sated to be embarrassed.
He stood quickly, jerking his shirt off his body, exposing the muscles in his chest and arms as they flexed. His fingers made short work of unfastening his jeans and they soon found their place on the floor along with the other discarded clothing, including his boxers. Grabbing a condom from his wallet, he rolled it on.
His cock, long and thick, stood out from his body and he fisted it as he crawled over her. Centering the tip at her entrance, he pushed in gently, an inch at a time, giving her a chance to become accustomed to him. Once seated fully, he waited, sweat beading on his forehead.
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