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Betting on the Muse

Page 4

by Charles Bukowski

“They’re having an Art Exhibit.”

  “I know.”

  “Well, don’t you want to see Van Gogh?”

  “To hell with Van Gogh! What’s Van Gogh to me?”

  The doors closed again and she couldn’t think of an answer.

  “I don’t like museums,” he continued. “I don’t like museum-people.”

  The fan was going but it was a small apartment and the heat held as if enclosed in a kettle.

  “In fact,” he said, peeling off his T-shirt and standing in just his shorts, “I don’t like any kind of people.”

  Amazingly, he had hair on his chest.

  “In fact,” he continued, pulling his shorts down and over the end of one foot, “I’m going to write a book some day and call it Confession of a Coward.”

  The doorbell rang like a rape, or the tearing of ripe flesh.

  “Jesus Christ!” he said like something trapped.

  She jumped off the bed, looking very white and unpeeled. Like a candy banana. Aldington and D. H. Lawrence and Taos fell to the floor.

  She ran to the closet and began stuffing herself inside the flying cloth of female necessaries.

  “Never mind the clothes,” he said.

  “Aren’t you going to answer?”

  “No! Why should I?”

  It rang again. The sound of the bell entered the room and searched them out, scaled and scalded their skins, pummeled them with crawling eyes.

  Then it was silent.

  And the feet turned with their sound, turning and guiding some monster, taking it back down the stairwell, one two three, 1, 2, 3; and then gone.

  “I wonder,” he said, still not moving, “what that was?”

  “I don’t know,” she said, bending double at the waist and pulling her petticoat back over her head.

  “Here!” she yelled. “Here!” holding her arms out like feelers.

  He finished yanking the petticoat off over her head with some distaste.

  “Why do you women wear this crap?” he asked in a loud voice.

  She didn’t feel an answer was necessary and went over and pulled Lawrence out from under the bed. Then she got into bed with Lorenzo and her husband sat on the couch.

  “They built a little shrine for him,” he said.

  “Who?” she asked irritably.

  “Lawrence.”

  “Oh.”

  “They have a picture of it in that book.”

  “Yes, I’ve seen it.”

  “Have you ever seen a dog-graveyard?”

  “What?”

  “A dog-graveyard.”

  “Well, what about it?”

  “They always have flowers. Every dog always has flowers, fresh, all in neat little clusters on each grave. It’s enough to make you cry.”

  She found her place in the book again, like a person searching for solitude in the middle of a lake: So the bitter months dragged by miserably, accompanied by Lorenzo’s tragic feeling of loss, his—

  “I wish I had studied ballet,” he said. “I go about all slumped over but that’s because my spirit is wilted. I’m really lithe, ready to tumble on spring mattresses of some sort. I should have been a frog, at least. You’ll see. Someday I’m going to turn into a frog.”

  Her lake rippled with the irritating breeze: “Well, for heaven’s sake, study ballet! Go at night! Get rid of your belly! Leap around! Be a frog!”

  “You mean after WORK?” he asked woefully.

  “God,” she said, “you want everything for nothing.” She got up and went to the bathroom and closed the door.

  She doesn’t understand, he thought, sitting on the couch naked, she doesn’t understand that I’m joking. She’s so god-damned serious. Everything I say is supposed to carry truth or tragic import, or insight or something. I’ve been through all that!

  He noticed a pencil-scrawled piece of paper, in her handwriting, on the side table. He picked it up:

  My husband is a poet published alongside Sartre and Lorca;

  he writes about insanity and Nietzsche and Lawrence,

  but what has he written about me?

  she reads the funnies

  and empties garbage

  and makes little hats

  and goes to Mass at 8 AM

  I too am a poet and an artist, some discerning critics

  say, but my husband wrote about me:

  she reads the funnies…

  He heard the toilet flush, and a moment later, out she came.

  “I’d like to be a clown in a circus,” he greeted her.

  She got back on the bed with her book.

  “Wouldn’t you like to be a tragicomic clown stumbling about with a painted face?” he asked her.

  She didn’t answer. He picked up the Racing Form:

  Power 114 B.g.4, by Cosmic Bomb—

  Pomayya, by Pompey

  Breeder, Brookmeade Stable.

  1956 12 241 $12,950

  July 18-Jan 1 1/16 1:45 1/5 ft. 3 122 2

  1/2 3 2h GuerinE’ Alw 86

  “I’m going to Caliente next Sunday,” he said.

  “Good. I’ll have Charlotte over. Allen can bring her in the car.”

  “Do you believe she really got propositioned by the preacher in that movie like she claimed?”

  She turned the page of her book.

  “God damn you, answer me!” he screamed, angry at last.

  “What about?”

  “Do you think she’s a whore and making it all up? Do you think we’re all whores? What are we trying to do, reading all these books? Writing all the poems they send back, and working in some dungeon for nothing because we’re not really interested in money?”

  She put the book down and looked back over her shoulder at him. “Well,” she said in a low voice, “do you want to give it all up?”

  “Give WHAT all up? We don’t have anything! Or, do you mean Beethoven’s Fifth or Handel’s Water Music? Or do you mean the SOUL?”

  “Let’s not argue. Please. I don’t want to argue.”

  “Well, I want to know what we are trying to do!”

  The doorbell rang like all the bells of doom sweeping across the room.

  “Shhh,” he said, “shhh! Be quiet!”

  The doorbell rang again, seeming to say, I know you are in there, I know you are in there.

  “They know we’re in here,” she whispered.

  “I feel that this is it,” he said.

  “What?”

  “Never mind. Just be quiet. Maybe it will go away.”

  “Isn’t it wonderful to have all these friends?” she took up the joke-cudgel.

  “No. We have no friends. I tell you, this is something else!”

  It rang again, very short, flat and spiritless.

  “I once tried to make the Olympic swimming team,” he said, getting completely off the point.

  “You make more ridiculous statements by the minute, Henry.”

  “Will you get off my back? Just for that!” he said, raising his voice, “WHO IS IT?”

  There was no answer.

  Henry rose wide-eyed, as if in a trance, and flung the door open, forgetting his nakedness. He stood there transfixed in thought for some time, but it was obvious to her that nobody was there—in his state of undress there would have been quite a commotion or, at the very least, some sophisticated comment.

  Then he closed the door. He had a strange look on his face, a round-eyed almost dull look and he swallowed once as he faced her. His pride, perhaps?

  “I’ve decided,” he announced, “that I’m not going to turn into a woman after all.”

  “Well, that will help matters between us considerably, Henry.”

  “And I’ll even take you to see Van Gogh. No, wait, I’ll let you take me.”

  “Either way, dear. It doesn’t matter.”

  “No,” he said, “you’ll have to take me!”

  He marched into the bathroom and closed the door.

  “Don’t you wonder,” she said through t
he door, “who that was?”

  “Who what was?”

  “Who that was at the door? Twice?”

  “Hell,” he said, “I know who it was.”

  “Who was it, then?”

  “Ha!”

  “What?”

  “I said, ‘Ha!’ I’m not telling!”

  “Henry, you simply don’t know who it was, anymore than I do. You’re simply being silly again.”

  “If you promise to take me to see Van Gogh, I’ll tell you who was at the door.”

  “All right,” she humored him along, “I promise.”

  “O.K., it was me at the door!”

  “You at the door?”

  “Yes,” he laughed a silly little laugh, “me looking for me! Both times.”

  “Still playing the clown aren’t you, Henry?”

  She heard the water running in the basin and knew he was going to shave.

  “Are you going to shave, Henry?”

  “I’ve decided against the beard,” he answered.

  He was boring her again and she simply opened her book at a random page and began reading:

  You don’t want any more of me?

  I want us to break off—you be free of me, I free of you.

  And what about these last months?

  I don’t know. I’ve not told you anything but what I thought was true.

  Then why are you different now?

  I’m not—I’m the same—only I know it’s no good going on.

  She closed the book and thought about Henry. Men were children. You had to humor them. They could take no hurt. It was a thing every woman knew. Henry tried—he was just so—all this playing the clown. All the poor jokes.

  She rose from the bed as if in a dream, walked across the floor, opened the door and stared. Against the basin stood a partly soaped shaving brush and his still wet shaving mug. But the water in the basin was cold and at the bottom—against the plug, green and beyond her reach at last and the size of a crumpled glove—stared back the fat, living frog.

  the secret

  don’t worry, nobody has the

  beautiful lady, not really, and

  nobody has the strange and

  hidden power, nobody is

  exceptional or wonderful or

  magic, they only seem to be.

  it’s all a trick, an in, a con,

  don’t buy it, don’t believe it.

  the world is packed with

  billions of people whose lives

  and deaths are useless and

  when one of these jumps up

  and the light of history shines

  upon them, forget it, it’s not

  what it seems, it’s just

  another act to fool the fools

  again.

  there are no strong men, there

  are no beautiful women.

  at least, you can die knowing

  this

  and you will have

  the only possible

  victory.

  somebody else

  he had long thin

  arms,

  sat always in a

  white t-shirt,

  no gut at all,

  he was in his

  mid-40s

  cheeks hollowed

  in,

  an x-con,

  he rolled a

  cigarette with

  one hand,

  skin burned

  brown,

  he had crazy

  gray

  eyebrows,

  never looked

  right at

  you,

  he had no

  luck with

  women,

  was always in

  love with some

  number

  who disdained

  him,

  he coughed too

  often,

  talked about

  all his terrible

  jobs of the

  past,

  sitting in a

  chair

  he drank wine

  out of tall

  water glasses,

  preferred port,

  said muscatel

  made him

  crazy.

  each time

  we drank

  it was about the

  same…

  “come on, Hank,

  let’s fight!

  you’ve got guts,

  let’s fight!”

  “I don’t want to

  fight you,

  Lou.”

  I wasn’t afraid

  of him.

  in fact, he

  bored

  me.

  there wasn’t

  anybody else

  to drink with

  in that

  hotel

  except a lady

  I knew down

  the

  hall.

  “you banging

  her, Hank?”

  “maybe.”

  “can you fix

  me up?”

  “I don’t think

  so.”

  “come on, Hank,

  let’s fight!”

  “go on, drink

  your wine.”

  “I got in a fight

  with a guy once,

  we used pick

  handles.

  he broke my

  arm on the

  first swing.

  I still got him.

  I busted him

  up

  good.”

  he poured the

  wine down.

  he always got

  sick.

  he could seldom

  make it to the

  hall

  bathroom.

  he’d let it go

  in my

  sink.

  “all right, Lou,

  clean up that

  fucking

  sink!”

  “sorry, Hank,

  sorry, I think I

  got an

  ulcer.”

  “clean the

  sink!”

  he was like a

  17 year old

  boy,

  nothing had

  developed.

  I preferred to

  drink

  alone

  but I didn’t want

  to hurt his

  feelings.

  one time

  he didn’t come

  around for a

  couple of

  nights.

  that was all

  right but he

  owed me

  ten bucks

  and I needed the

  money.

  I went down to

  his door and

  knocked.

  no answer.

  I pushed the

  door open.

  he was on the

  bed

  and the gas

  heater was

  hissing loudly.

  it wasn’t lit

  and all the

  windows

  were closed.

  I shut the

  heater off,

  opened the

  windows

  and stood at the

  door

  swinging it

  back and forth

  to get air

  into the

  room.

  then I shook

  him.

  he was still

  alive.

  he gave me

  a stupid

  smile.

  “Hank, you

  saved my

  life!

  you saved my

  life!”

  he sat up

  in bed,

  put his feet

  on the

  floor.

  “you saved

  my life!

  you’re my

  buddy

  forever!”

  “next time

&nb
sp; you want to

  kill yourself,

  lock your

  door.”

  I walked out

  of there

  and back to

  my room.

  then he was

  knocking on

  my door.

  I told him

  to come

  in.

  he sat in

  the chair.

  “I’m in

  love,”

  he said.

  “yeah?”

  “it’s the

  manager.

  you ever notice

  her body,

  her eyes,

  her hair?

  and she’s

  intelligent.”

  “Lou, you owe

  me ten

  bucks.”

  “all I got is

  a five.”

  “let me have

  it.”

  he took a

  5 from his

  wallet.

  that’s all that

  was in

  there.

  I took it.

  “I wrote her a

  long love

  letter, 4 pages,

  I slipped

  it under her

  door.”

  “did you

  sign it?”

  “no.”

  “don’t worry

  about

  it.”

  “all right,

  Hank.

  but I think

  she’ll know

  it’s me.

 

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